Dolls
by SlyPink
Summary: —Sequel to Beast Doll.— Game after game, they both shared a path and fate without knowing. KujaxTerra implied. R&R, please.
1. Repressed

**So, hello, after thinking it through, I accepted the challenge of making a full-length fanfic about this pairing, cause they're like my current obssession now.**

**And before you get yourselves to begin reading, I must warn and remind you that I haven't found a beta reader yet, so the english might come out a bit hazy at times.**

**Even more Warnings: It's Kuja x Terra, so everything in this story doesn't make much sense. Might content ship-tease. A lot of Kefka's _Uwee-he-he_. Violence and blood is a plus. Mild sexual themes. My terrible sense of humor. Expect lots of OOC. Moogles. Tons of jokes about Kuja's questionable fashion-sense... etc.**

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><p>I. Repressed.<p>

The Reaper's reasons to vague around the infinite and chaotic map were just to clear up his thoughts and refresh. The world he was forced to remain was like a handle of illogical landscapes extracted from people's minds and scattered randomly all over the isolated world. Of course, if his luck wasn't bad enough already, he realized he wasn't the only one occupying the mysterious nature of this world. No. The God of Discord _had_ to summon a whole circus of freaks to serve him into this stupid war against Goddess Cosmos.

However, it wasn't as if there was any other option left. It was either Chaos' homicidal nutshell or the annoying parasites of Cosmos. And with 'parasites' he specifically meant one certain blond youngster he loathed to no end. About the rest of Cosmos' Warriors, he couldn't care less. Zidane was the only one who needed to be destroyed by his hands.

But thinking about that monkey bastard wouldn't help his anger. The slender silver-haired man grunted and closed his tired lids, shutting himself from the eternal sight of The Rift. Sat himself just for a couple of hours, trying to find some peace and silence, away from all those animals he was supposed to call 'allies'. They were always scheming some design to kill their enemies... and perhaps to take over the world, destroy all existence, erradicate their own allies, take down Chaos himself, and so forth...

He didn't care about those. It was all about taking Zidane down.

Of course, he had a number of little plans developing inside his head. Everything was spinning towards his endless hate. It was an almost unhealthy obssession with Zidane, just wanting him to suffer and beg for death on his knees. He could picture it, the blond boy beaten and hopeless, with all lost and wanting his 'brother' to end it.

_'Oh no, Zidane. Death won't be yours for relief.'_

He smirked, slightly disgusted to the sadistic extents of his imagination. But daydreaming wouldn't come true by just sighing at the imaginative scenarios.

He was alone.

Schemes wouldn't work well if he didn't have the cooperation of someone and he wasn't trustful enough to allow this. Each one of them would eventually backstab him to get their own will done. Wasn't as if he couldn't handle a them himself, but he'd rather to avoid the whole trouble. Someone like him didn't need to stain his porcelain hands with unnecessary blood.

Then a small sparkling record jumped back to his head. He softly grabbed his white neck, still remembering the angry red mark that an iron claw left there. Regardless the memory of pain, he sneered at it.

"... If only that girl from back then was mine." he murmured as he slowly swallowed.

After he woke up in this cycle, he had a brief clash against a beast in the shape of a girl. But ever since then he never saw her again. It seemed that she belonged among Cosmos' guards after all. It was still unthinkable, though. He shook his head in disbelief, finding himself unwilling to fight Zidane if she happened to be friend of his.

_That'd be his definite requiem, for sure._

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><p>"... You know, serving Chaos suited you so much better. Don't you think?"<p>

It was a childish voice, a man of gray heart wearing a mask of bloodied rainbows. That voice, of the few things she knew, it sent shivers through her spine. All the insecurities residing inside her they bloomed through his memory. He was the only thing living in her, and constantly painted all her hopes in black.

"Oh my! You really don't remember?"

She knew Kefka Palazzo. Or at least she had the feeling of knowing him since forever. Yet, she didn't _know_ him at all. Never did. She feared of understanding whatever dark twisted thoughts disturbed his persona. _What in heavens happened to this man to be so ruined, like this?_

His smile, so twisted, yet so empty... it pierced through her very soul, converting fear into hatred, the ravenous power flowing inside her became liquid fire.

"You're such a dangerous creature! The more you fight, the more your powers grow out of control! Destruction incarnate, _that's what you are_, dear!"

Words sliced like swords. Memories were painful... Because Kefka was inside all of them.

_He wants her._ But he can't pass over her loyal little companion. Once the red Onion Knight wishes to protect her, nothing would ever stop him from his resolve...

_'No... Onion knight, stop!'_ What did she ever do to deserve such a brave friend to defend her? '_Why?'_

They clashed, but Kefka seemed to have endless tricks under his sleeves. In a blinding explosion of lights, they both dissapeared when the young knight collided against the jester.

She cried with her voice breaking. "What happened? Where did you go?" No trace was left of them.

The girl flew, ran, searched, called for him... but his valiant friend wouldn't answer. She was all alone now.

_What would she do?_ The magic powers she was gifted still scared her without fault. But there was no excuse to shield her. She was a warrior thus she had to fight to save herself and the other ones who hoped for a future.

The further she went foward, the more enemies would come out. Crystal soldiers, souless beings instructed to destroy any enemy on their way, they all held a mystical appearance of ice statues, all chiseled to look like other warriors. She once had to fight one who copied her image; felt as if she fought against a mirror.

Still, they were all fragile crystals she could easily break with some little effort.

And to think that the kid had so much trouble with fighting them. In the beginning, she couldn't take them, because she feared of the full extent of her powers... it all seemed like a distant dream now. Power was driving her.

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><p>He remained as a hidden spectator through the whole electrifying match, between the Fallen One against his confused nemesis. To be lower levels than his, they resulted an entertaining spectacle for Kuja. Nothing like the rough match between swords that surpassed their respective swordsmen's height.<p>

He came out of his little hideout when he advised himself that the spiky-haired one left the Planet's Core with his crystal. Peace and silence at last. Firstly, he hadn't in mind to watch over Sephiroth's epic adventure, it became just a funny coincidence to encounter them inside this gate, and that was all.

Kuja just wanted to be alone, for a while, until he could figure out what to do next.

But there was so little inside his mind, his brain was all dry. Everytime he turned his attention to that buffoon Kefka, it provoked him headaches. Not for being just a nuisance, but... it was as if _his mind was trained to burn up_ everytime Kefka wanted to be annoying—almost all the time—.

"_Uwee-hee-he-he-he! Just listen to yourself! Wanting to save up all your fury to merely beat down that little monkey of yours? You're a laugh! You're a laugh, I say!_" Kuja's mind went blank for just a second during the high-pitched crackle. He just grunted at the clown and passed through him avoiding eye-contact.

'_I'd have love to blow his face away... nothing could have stopped me. Then why...?_'

Ever since he got to meet again with Kefka, a strange feeling invaded his mind, an invisible pressure inside his lungs, going up his head.

'_Kefka is annoying. That's the effect he causes on everyone, none else. How I wish to see his enemy crushing him into pieces. Now, that'd be good for a laugh!_' To think about him, it just led Kuja but to wonder about whoever was Kefka's fated nemesis...

He'd rather not to know. As if Sephiroth's obssession with his adversary didn't already creep him out... Kuja was sure he wasn't morbid enough to figure out about Kefka's own obssession with his own.

Besides, he had his own bussiness to take care. Couldn't just watch effortlessly how the other warriors were kicked out of stage. He'd keep a better eye on Zidane's activities.

Right, the blond monkey-boy seemed very fond of two of his friends. _Who were they...?_ A skinny youngster named Bartz... the other one with cocky attitude... _what was his name again?_... _Squee_, was it?

'_If the bastard keeps his company on, it'll only bring me more trouble... how to take him away from his precious friends? Wouldn't it be more prudent from me to attack with someone backing me up?_' Again he thought about Kefka; but that clown should stay out of his options. He didn't want to have anything else to do with him.

Immersed within thoughts, once again he heard the crushing sound of the skirmish.

'_Even more?_'

From the distance, on the top of the stone pillar floating on the highest point of the shimmering field, his sharp eyes distinguished one red crystal manikin with Kefka's image getting his limbs torn by some sort of water torrent. _It was magic._

He saw the manikin breaking into several pieces in the air. Red diamantine flourished through the air, the most resplendent display of manikin carnage he'd ever seen. And it was done with a Flood, an usually complicated spell even for expert mages.

Kuja felt his skin crawl. It wasn't curiosity, but a sort of excitement.

Heard the fierce gasp of a young woman, then the tired heaving. His heart began to beat faster, finding in the early fresh corners of memories the familiarity inside that winsome sound.

_... Kefka mentioned a girl_.

A girl. If he was correct, between the Cosmos' Warriors, there was only one female, he heard.

There was no doubt. Unless Kefka was in fact in love with a crossdresser, it couldn't be her. _The doll_. He saw her stumble side one of the rock plataforms of the Planet's Core.

_'My, is she tired?'_ She probably fought her way inside this gate's dimensions, lost and lonely. He slowly floated approaching her in silence, trying to think with extreme care his delightful speech of introduction. Everything inside his mind was a play that he wrote and performed.

The girl, still dressed with that cute flowery dress, she seemed so helpless and scared; the image of damisel in distress turned out to be much more tempting than he could ever admit. The white mage silently landed upon the rock just above were she rested.

"Now, that was an outstanding perfomance..."

To his dismay before he could finish, she gasped and jumped back and blindly launched a Blizzara spell to him.

Barely, Kuja managed to block the huge ice chunk that was shot to him. Again, he was amazed of the girl's power, though he knew she could have done much worse to him. Things weren't coming out as he wanted to.

"That wasn't bad at all!" said as he cleaned the ice from his white long sleeves. "Did I scare you, dear?"

The girl backed away a little, completely unsettled to the nice manners of the strange man in front of her. Still, it looked like he wasn't the first of her worries; she already appeared to be struggling with her own self.

"You... you're from Chaos' Warriors..." she whispered slightly unamused.

"Hence you belong to Cosmos. What shall we do now?" answered Kuja with a lowly charming smile. But her eyes were on the floor, and she kept on stepping back.

"... Please, go away. I don't wish to fight you." the girl whimpered. He knew there was something _not-good_ going on with her.

"Hn? Why is that so?" He'd rather her to explain, to watch her pull out on her own. It intrigued him the way she refused to attack him.

"Just go. I'm going to hurt you. Please!" she pleaded in dispear, embracing herself. The doll was surrounded by a faint glitter, aura of her raging powers. It was just as impressive as before. "I... can't control it! Go!"

_'My, what a girl. Worrying about hurting the enemy?'_

The rabid sparks splitered around her, but she held still. It was suddenly clear how much was she suffering; it was painful to restrict her savage energy. The other mage began to fear that she'd soon release the beast again.

"Dear girl, you won't be able to hold it any longer if you don't let your energy escape without fear." said he without care walking keen around the grieving maiden. "Can't you hear your powers crying out for release?"

The blonde girl looked at him with disquieted eyes. "Wha—? No! Stay away, I can really hurt you! Don't you care?" she cried, obviously deaf to his wiser suggestions.

This was foolish, Kuja knew that he was in great danger as well. But this was his chance to get closer to the mysterious girl.

"NO! Get Away!" A violent fire cracked under her pointy gold and red boots, the fissures running towards him along the explosion; Kuja leaped just in time. He saw her shivering, each second that passed she got worse, her will growing weaker as she kept on denying her true strength.

There was no use. She attacked again, unwillingly, with a fierce strike of Thundara that almost pierced through him. No wonder why she occupied Kefka's interest._ She was a puppet for destruction._

But... _being so powerful... why was her will so... weak? Why was she... so fragile?_

The silver haired mage found this beyond his comprehension. His full powers would match hers, yet she didn't have enough self-control to settle down her own magic.

... He never had to deal with this kinds of problems, as far as he knew...

"Should I... use my own means to calm you down?" whispered he with his index finger under his lower lip, observing the struggling girl.

She slowly rose up her head, looking at him flying among various light orbs.

"... Please..." she managed to mutter, her big purple eyes widening as many of those holy balls were shot to her. "LEAVE!"

The girl blasted twin spells of holy against his, and after them Flare sparks branched to get him. "Whoa!" The mage of Chaos glided as fast as he could out of their reach. "Sure she's a fast spellcaster for someone who can't control her powers!"

Faster than the young man would expect, another savage Thundara was fired to him, this time in a pattern that was hard to escape from. A fierce sparkle landed on his left arm, burning part of his long white sleeve. Kuja snarled at the pain. At the same time the girl squealed in fright, knowing that her untamed spell managed to reach him.

Kuja flew above for a couple of seconds while gripping tightly his burned arm, examinating the girl's troubled reaction after she attacked. "Guh... how innocent." She clearly didn't enjoy fighting or hurting others, even if he was her supposed foe. That was her worst defect. Her magic needed an outlet, but she kept on repuding its nature and that state of denial prevented her from knowing how to use it properly.

_... A creature like this wouldn't be of much use..._

The girl just needed to release all of what she repressed until now, then she'd settle down for a time.

'_But if I just wait here for her powers to calm down, I might end up in pieces..._'

Kuja reacted rapidly before he could get severely scorched by a meteor rain. She also mastered such spell? He needed to think of a quick way to cool down her powers before the beasty girl could manage to tear him apart.

_He could always just leave._

Suddenly, a half-brilliant idea came right up his mind. A risky plan was constructed inside his blurry messed thoughts. Wouldn't be exactly a suicide, but it'd was crazy enough to get him killed in the middle of it. However, he couldn't think of anything else.

Besides running away, which was for the best.

Kuja glided swift as he could, avoiding another ravaging thunder that managed to hit him, yet he went too fast to even let himself get affected. The girl stepped back just as a natural reflex. In her eyes, she was almost gone, lost within a nightmare she couldn't wake-up from.

He caught her just in time, his hands cluthched brusquely the girls wrists as he invoked a silent magic that ran throgh his fingers. Her eyes widened in surprise, having this effeminate man's face so close to her, causing confusion. However, the impression somehow managed to bring her senses back to life.

"There you go! Stay still, my bird!" the mage exclaimed, feeling the hot energy oozing out of her and being sucked by his own. She cried, completely unaware of what exactly was he doing to her, and struggling frantically to release her wrists from his magical grasp.

Her fingers twitched violently and she tugged her wrists. The blonde girl moaned and kicked, but her magic was completely out of focus and couldn't use magic against the other mage who restrained her. Her powers were growing increasingly dimmer for each second he mantained touch with her.

Kuja wasn't having a great time either. Osmose was a very basic black spell, but before even realizing he begun to absorb much power more power than he could hold and yet hers wouldn't alleviate. She had even more magic than he predicted.

If he kept on draining her energy, he'd collapse. His body wasn't prepared to hold such an overwhelming force.

'_It's... too much._'

Before he could lose control, Kuja relinquished his hold from her and almost tripped on his back. The girl fell on her knees panting heavily. She finally calmed down.

The mage dressed in white and purple was also tired. And hurt. Sighing he stared at the shivering girl for a while. Seemingly powerless now, she didn't appear more menacing than a fluffy moogle. Though he needed no more proof to know how dangerous was she.

The Reaper walked feeble around the maiden in red, who was still recovering from the encounter, slowly she pulled her face up to look at his sharp icy blue eyes. She held a confused gaze, as if she tried to ask why wasn't he trying to kill her; but the man grinned at her, not maliciously.

"Even the wingless possess most amazing strength, don't you think, my canary?" His artful voice purred, slightly bold. She looked down as if she didn't hear him.

"... What were you trying to do?" The girl finally talked with her serene voice, as calm as the gray seas. "Why wouldn't you fight me...?" then her big purple eyes stared at the moderate burn of Kuja's left arm. "I've hurt you... why didn't you run?"

She knew what questions to avow. It wouldn't be easy to explain himself without looking suspicious. "It isn't among my plans to fight with you, if that's what makes you worried." He turned his back to her. "And it wouldn't sway me to give you _a helping hand_, I suppose."

"So... you drained part of my magic to calm down my powers?" She sounded a bit distrustful. Kuja heard the heels of her boots as she stood again on her own. "... Why did you help me?"

"Beg you pardon?" The white mage rose up his eyebrow. "Don't misunderstand me, girl. I wasn't precisely trying to _help_ you. If I didn't do anything to stop you, you could have scorched me to death."

"... You could have run."

Kuja just twitched his smirk. "Yes, of course I could." He tried to hide any kind of nervousness. She didn't need to know. He didn't need to understand.

"Then why didn't you?"

"It's unimportant. What you need to take into more consideration are your own overflowing powers. It is clear that you aren't yet fit for battle, girl."

"... I guess I'm not." she sighed embracing herself. "But I have to fight, if I want to save him." the last three words came out like small dead whispers.

"_Him_?"

"It's not of your concern, I'm sorry."_ At least she was somewhat polite._ "I don't understand what do you want from me. And I don't think I wanna know... so please, just leave at once." In her eyes a tiny spark of determination was born. She was only fierce when she was on her toes. She obviously knew that Kuja wasn't trustworthy, but that was already the stigma that all Chaos' warriors carried.

It made him disappointed. He wasn't sure expecting a weak will for a terrifying strength, but at least he could have wanted a more naïve and complying girl, who could cling at him in need.

But not everything was lost.

"I see. Since I'm not needed here anymore..." Kuja turned his head back to see her, smiling with confidence. "But don't you expect this to be the last time we see each other, my canary."

"_Canary_?" She muttered confused. Kuja chuckled.

The androgynous mage parted his feet from the ground, flying highly above through the glowing green walls of the place. "Until our paths meet again."

He knew that he just let a big chance to get away. But... he wasn't lying about seeing her again. Of course, circumstances would be, hopefully, different.

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><p>Terra Branford still shivered after seeing the peculiar-looking mage flying away from the zone of the Planet's Core. Inside this chaotic day, this was probably the oddest thing happened to her. That Warrior of Chaos didn't attack her, even when she was more vulnerable than ever before.<p>

But that wasn't just it. Something else was crawling underneath her mind, about the look on those piercing eyes which resembled this world's heavens. "Who... was that?" Had the definate feeling she met him before. Though... she was aware that most of her memories were wiped away, the sensations still remained.

Engrossed in thought, Terra didn't notice the approach of other warrior in the same ground she was. At first the jumped, infected by paranoia, but her spirit calmed down as she recognized the figure of a fellow soldier of Cosmos.

The man was young, perhaps younger than the mage she just dismissed. But just at looking at his blue eyes, she noticed an unusual sad yet lively glow in them. Then she saw his strange spiked yellow hair. She could recall the memory of certain kind of big yellow birds by just looking at it.

"Are you okay?" he asked; Terra was surprised about how glum his voice sounded.

"Uh... your name is Cloud, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, Terra. I coudn't interfere in time. But he didn't hurt you, did he?"

"... No. I think not." She didn't want to trouble him when he already looked so downhearted; couldn't help but to wonder. "Why are you looking so sad?"

"Sad?... " Cloud barely made a gesture, unsure how to respond. Then grief shadowed his eyes. "I wanted to get in the way, to try to calm you down. But he came first. I hesitated after seeing him struggle with your power. In the end, I couldn't do anything to help you."

Having heard his words, her heart felt warm. Knowing she was looked after other besides the Onion Knight made her... feel joy.

"It's okay. Thanks for worrying." Terra tried to smile, but the weight over her was still so great. So many things pending, so there was not time for beaming.

"I was a coward, Terra. He could have hurt you." If could have helped if she smiled though. At least he wouldn't be feeling so guilty.

Terra nighed at the soldier, looking at him sweetly, as if she just met with an old friend.

"I'm fine. See?" Barely managed to smile a little for him. "My powers are under control now. Nobody can hurt me now and I can't hurt anyone else."

He didn't seem to show emotion, but his eyes somehow grew brighter. "Let's go find that guy who was with you."

"Onion Knight, you mean?"

Cloud silently nodded. The girl understood that he wouldn't talk much more unless she started talking... would she make him uncomfortable if she drove him too much into conversation? Couldn't be sure, she just met him.

They just walked a few inches together, but he suddenly stopped "... Terra."

"What is it?"

"He did something to you, didn't he?" Cloud was obviously refering to the warrior she attacked a few minutes ago. The issue still lingered within her mind, flickering with unease and confusion.

"I... think he just drained some of my magic powers. It soothed me a little." Terra described it as if she just wnet through it again, this time fearless. "But I'm fine!" She only wished him to worry less, or he'd just look even more sorrowful.

But Cloud just seemed as puzzled as she was.

"_... He didn't even try to attack you._"

"Huh?" Heard him murmur something, but every noise just froze after that.

"Nothing." They just continued onwards without talking about the matter again.

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><p><strong>AN: This chapter has sparkle overload. And yay, made a joke about Cloud's chocobo-butt hair. Wish my hair could defy gravity too.**

**I don't think this was a very good beginning, but I promise to make it better next time. I don't think I'll be making too long chapters, so I can update more or less regularly. School is awesome, but it's also a bitch.**

**I deliberately made Kuja confuse Squall's name with 'Squee', because that's how I named him the first time I played FFVIII (besides naming Griever 'Penis', having unknown the future consequences of this joke). xD**


	2. Dark Thoughts

**Thanks a lot to the ones who stick to this thing. I know people read this, and that's good enough for me.**

**This chapter's... warnings: Mayor original game's plot twisting. Terra's fluff fetish. Kefka being creepy as ever. Kuja being uhmm... bullied. And a long author's note.**

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><p><strong>II. Dark Thoughts.<strong>

She felt tainted at the time she saw the ball of fluff on the air. All her defenses weakened in one second. It was so tempting, but Cloud was watching and she'd be ashamed if he ever saw her succumbing in such a way to that small vain pleasure.

"Isn't that... a moogle?" he asked quietly heading towards the little white being with big nose and fluffy red pompom on its head. She was really hoping him to don't notice. Ever since they got out of the gate, they had no other choice but to walk into the gray wasteland that composed this world's every inch. Moogles were apparently the only living creatures that inhabitated this place, likewise they were just a few of them.

"Maybe it could tell us about Onion..." she whispered, walking behind the other warrior. But Cloud immediately turned his head to her, as if he just heard something strange.

"_Tell us_? Do they talk?" Cloud asked, confused.

"Sometimes they sell us things, they're quite helpful in the way. How couldn't you meet them before?" she innocently asked leaning foward. For a moment she saw her friend closing his eyes, as if he tried to avoid eye-contact.

"No, it's just... I didn't think they were important." He somehow seemed a little nervous. "I never approach them... With what do you buy anyways?"

That question was left in the air quite a while, since Terra didn't exactly know how to explain. Whenever she and Onion crossed paths with a moogle, they would _buy_ whatever they could _afford_, though not knowing what did the moogle take from them.

"Uh... not sure how it works, but I we can buy plenty of items. They're very cute—_I mean_... they're useful."

Cloud just shook his shoulders and turned back to the floating moogle. "... Let's go ask."

But the girl gotten up ahead faster then the blond young man. She couldn't hide her excitement for the cute little thing with bat wings.

Terra shyly approached the moogle, its fuzzy round body flied in spiral towards her. "Uhm, excuse me... we were looking for one of our comrades. We were wondering if you..."

"_Kupo_?"_ O, she loved that cute sound._ "You mean the monkey-tail or the tiara-guy?"

"... Bartz and Zidane?" Cloud interfered. He seemed to recall such descriptions while Terra didn't wholly.

"Yeah, they were here about ten minutes ago asking about the grumpy one." said the moogle's little muffled voice.

"But, haven't you seen the Onion Knight? He's a boy with red armor, about... this tall?"

"Nope. Never seen him around, _kupo_." This was a big dispiritedness for the girl, being dead worried about the kid for the past long hours.

"I see..."

Of course, Cloud noticed the young lady's dolefulness. So far he didn't show any kind of strong fraternity for her, after all, what he wanted to do was to help her in any ways he could.

"Maybe Bartz or Zidane know something." he mentioned bluntly, wanting to ease Terra's troubled spirit. Still she wasn't lightened at all.

"I think I haven't met them before." She had to believe in his words, if there was any hope she wanted to search for her lost friend. It wasn't as if Onion would be helpless without her, but on the contrary, she'd be completely lost if Cloud never showed up. _Or perhaps..._

"Haven't talked to them much either, but they must be willing to aid us." he added, looking straight to her glassy eyes. It was clear he was trying his best to encourage her, though Cloud himself had his own pained soul.

Terra smiled in silent appreciation.

"Then let's go." She turned back to the moogle again, being sorry for ignoring it while talking to Cloud. "Thanks for everything."

The moogle, however, didn't seem ready to let the warrior go yet. In fact, he seemed annoyed.

"Don't wanna buy something? I've got nice supplies, _kupo_..."

The girl accepted the offer and immediately the little fuzzy being unleashed on the ground a large magical window with a vast inventory with several weapons, finery and a colorful variety of accesories. Cloud seemed surprised, but Terra was already used to this.

"How do you get them?" He asked while taking up a blue colored crystal bottle. "I mean... this world is isolated. How do you manage to get these things?"

"Us moogles we have our ways in this place,_ kupo_!" it squeaked as he allowed Terra to take a fine dagger for herself. "It's a secret,_ kupo_."

Cloud crossed his arms. "So, you moogles have a small community in here, or...?"

"That's classified, _kupo_!"

It wasn't long until Terra bought everything she need, and handed it over to her comrade. He didn't even complain, she surely had a reason to make him carry all the stuff.

"Can I help you in anything else?" the white fuzzy one asked. Terra just came closer and without asking took the small living-plushie into her arms in a gentle move.

"Thank you for all..." she said rubbing her cheek against the moogle's fur. Cloud's eyes widened a little at this sight.

"Uh... y-you're always welcome,_ kupo-po_..." the moogle bashfully muttered, blushing all of sudden.

Eventually she had to let go of the furry creature, when Cloud told her they had to get moving. It was clear how awkward did he feel after watching her cuddling the moogle for nearly three minutes.

Even wind became louder than the sound of their steps on the dusty field, not having much view to admire except the distant mountains, some rocks and few dead trees. After minutes of not knowing what to talk about, the usually quiet soldier decided for once to take on the talk.

"... You do like moogles." Terra blushed again, still embarrassed of what she made him see.

"I... think I'm very fond of fluffy things. I don't know why."

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><p>Kuja's fist tightened and for the first time in a long while he thumped with his own hand against a solid frame. It hurted his knuckles but he didn't mind it. He was so mad and confused that he would not even care if his hand broke.<p>

He just had to stand another of his 'allies' lectures, this time from the unflattering witch of Time, Ultimecia. O, he never hated her like now. She dared on questioning his memories' integrity by insinuating that they were mere lies from his.

"That witch... who she think she is?"

He flied unto the Gateway to escape. _Escape_ _from what_, exactly? The young white mage just wished to stay away from the other chaotic warrior. He needed a brief respite to clear his on-going ideas. He's been trying to get away from those annoying freaks and their stupid obssessions.

But, wasn't his own obssession stupid as well?... No, Kuja kept on saying he was just a man with simple goals.

Ultimecia was alone a whole bag of complexes, and she wasn't half the way compared to Sephiroth, whom was just as pitiful. If a man kept on muttering '_Mother_' in his solitude, then he_ had_ to be truly pathetic. The point: Ultimecia wasn't worth his concern, and each word she spitted shouldn't affect him... not a little bit.

Yet he was so angered. He couldn't let her laugh at his back...

"Is Kujie-coo upset about something today?"

Great. From now and on he should avoid stepping unto Kefka's Tower zones.

"And this was the last thing I needed today."

"Hey you, don't ignore me like the pest I am. Actually I've got a nice advice for ya this time!"

Kuja turned around to face the jester, his smile twisted when their eyes met. What a repulsive taste for make-up. He didn't intend to impress anyone but himself, that was clear.

In that small detail, the young man knew they both had something in common. They were unbearably narcissistic on their own special way. Of course, Kuja had much better taste than that court buffoon.

"You? Advice? Please don't make me laugh." he snorted unpleasantly at the clown, just to get back to his previous lane to oblivion.

"_Uh-no-no-no-noh!_ Where you think you're going? I'm not finished with you! ... You really hate that _Bitchymecia_ witch, don't you?"

"... I said I'm not interested on your advice. Save it for lowly insects like yourself."

If Kefka really intended to catch his attention, he'd better try harder, or maybe not so hard, so Kuja would not even bother with his existence.

"_Uwee-he-he-he_! Still a nasty boy, huh?" Those words somehow managed to trigger a minuscule twitch or anger. But Kuja didn't want to waste anymore of his energy on the broken jester. Kefka was just a waste, like the rest of them. An empty ambition. "Leaving already? What a pansy you are! And your clothes aren't helping either way, heheheee!"

"I wonder if this clown-doll's voice will shut down eventually after all the abuse." Kuja muttered, playing deaf to the flaming offensive words. But it was too hard to don't explode right there, as Kefka was anxious to see. Even little sparkles of pure magic trickled down Kuja's fingertips before he continued on walking away.

"Did I hear well? Have you just called me _doll_? Oh, the cruel irony."

Suddenly his feet froze, the mage's sight went blurry and his thoughts went numb. "_... What..._" It was as if his mind was put into tender sleep, his muscles relaxed and felt his body vanishing right there. There was an odd tickling racing all through his spine, everything deadened. It burned to think, so he stopped trying.

Yet there was something behind him holding his back to prevent a rough fall. It wasn't important either way, the young man wasn't inside his head anymore.

Then his skin on his neck and earlobe felt warm whispers curling down on him. "Listen, you wanna catch the monkey for yourself, no? Get some bait." Those whispers entered his skull, his mind didn't decipher them, just swallowed them like a hole.

"Bait?" his voice responded, lifeless.

"That monkey would risk his own life to save a friend, right? There's your answer!"

All hid mind was flooded with hot hatred.

'_I can't breathe._'

"Haven't you noticed the loner yet? You hate that Ultimecia anyways. Kill two birds with one stone!"

* * *

><p>The twilight enclosing this world seemed eternal. It was a decaying world after all. But the deceiving darkness wouldn't be enough to vanish their smiles. Cloud along Terra encountered the pair of friends whose overflowing joy. Maybe it was exactly the kind of friends Cloud needed the most.<p>

They met, exchanged names and shared few battle anecdotes, then asked about the Onion Knight's whereabouts if they knew perchance. Unfortunately, for Terra's dismay, neither Bartz nor Zidane had seen him in a long time.

Yet, the only girl knew that she shouldn't abandon them just for the boy she cared for. The more friends she got in the way, the better the outcome should be. Onion could wait a bit longer, he was a very strong warrior.

Worrying wouldn't bring him back to her. The best cure for her was just to light-up the weight she kept on carrying ever since she had the use of reasoning. Smiling helped a lot.

"So, have you guys gotten your crystals already?" asked Zidane, the medium-height young man with bright blond hair tied in a pony-tail. Terra found his appearance refreshing, he seemed a very lighthearted person, like Bartz, who was considerably taller than him besides the only one with brown hair between the group of blonde warriors.

"Just Cloud did." she answered rapidly. "I'm still on my way to get mine."

"And you feel any more powerful now that you have your crystal, Cloud?" Bartz hurried excitedly towards the cold warrior.

Cloud wasn't amused at all, but he still showed his comrade what he really wished to see. Cloud extended his hand and a magical pearl-shaped crystal appeared on his palm at his will. Terra felt amazed to see his crystal for the first time as well. "... I can feel Cosmos' strength residing within this crystal, but nothing else."

"Now that I think about it... how did you get yours, Cloud?" Zidane proceeded, flipping a long yellow tail on his side. It suddenly caught Terra's attention. Zidane had a tail, and_ it looked so fluffy_.

"... After I fought Sephiroth. I guess I just found my way through it." Cloud explained calmly.

Zidane's interest grew further, but Cloud quickly concealed his crystal again within his hand. "So, it's likely that we must fight our respective enemies in order to get those crystals..." The young man seemed to be in deep thought, as if his own words served as revelation for his own destiny. Suddenly, Zidane violently jumped. "_Whoa_! Who the heck did—?" Everyone almost jumped as well after the young thief's reaction, but as he turned around, he discovered the sweet startled girl clutching the hairy long tail. "... T-Terra?"

She immediately released the tail, fully ashamed of this situation. Everyone else was just staring at her.

"I—I'm so sorry! I just... I'm sorry, Zidane. I didn't think it'd hurt you..." She was completely red, not knowing what to do nor how to explain. The tail just looked so soft and had the impulse of grabbing it to feel its fur.

Zidane was as well flushing, but after the fright he seemed to settle down while looking straight at the taller lady's eyes. The young man couldn't be mad at a girl like this. So he smirked blithely at Terra, his tail moved side to side but she tried her best to don't look at it.

"Nah, it's okay... Kinda getting used to it. You aren't the first one to... grab my tail out of curiosity."

Then Bartz suddenly started to burst out with laughter, against an embarrassed Cloud. "Hahaha!, you weren't so comprehensive when Squall grabbed your tail."

"S—shut up, Bartz!" Zidane spitted out, even more embarrassed than Cloud, if that was possible. "Anyways... we gotta get moving and find the crystals..."

"Could we go with you?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, sure! If it helps your quest, Terra. We might even get to find Onion on the way." Bartz was visibly more carefree than his fellow Zidane, he had no worries at all, as if life was already perfect to him. "Care to join with us, Cloud? We won't make you feel like a babysitter, promise!"

He looked reluctant at first, but in the end he stepped inside the circle of friends.

"... I'll go with you. Just if you need help."

Typical. Just typical, for cold guys like him. Wasn't much different from their pal Squall, though Cloud wasn't in the lone-wolf mood, maybe for good. They started talking to it, becoming the main topic for the next minutes they walked along. Cloud's uneasiness growing fainter as Bartz almost forcedwords out of him with all questions he could think about.

They counted a total of 30 times that Bartz said the word 'chocobo' talking to Cloud. It became funnier everytime.

Yet, Terra's mind kept a level of anguish between the happy-sappy lines of beautiful rapture with her newly found comrades.

Everytime she looked at Zidane's face, his penetrating blue eyes unavoidably led her thoughts again to the eyes of the stranger she met not long ago, before Cloud's advent. When the girl looked closer, she could mentally change the thief's hair and paint his eyelashes... and it was the same.

They were completely different and yet they held such a resemblance that was almost frightening.

"Zidane..."

"Yeah?"

They slowed down their steps after Cloud and Bartz that were having an entertaining conversation about the use of swords.

"I'm sorry about your tail." she said, still ashamed of the small incident almost an hour ago. But the youth just chuckled.

"You know? It's okay. I don't really mind a pretty girl like you grabbing it..." She wasn't fully sure to understand that kind of gallant blink he just granted her. Surely wasn't nothing.

Then again, the piercing bright blue eyes. They held a more vivid colour if she looked closer, making_ the other man's_ iris look like dead.

"... Your eyes remind me of someone."

"Good thing or bad thing?"

"I'm not sure... Your face somehow... I just saw one like yours..." But... if it wasn't right to talk about this? "—_nevermind._"

Zidane's eyebrows slightly arched, and slowed down his walk to match hers.

He didn't look very happy, but neither he seemed upset. "Huh... so you met _him_?"

"_Who_?"

The young man twisted his smirk. "_Kuja_. Otherwise, you wouldn't compare my handsome face with someone else's." Even being cocky and a bit conceited it didn't turn Terra away. "... We're talking about the same _codpiece-skirt guy_, right?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to compare you with that man."

Zidane just shook his shoulders. "It's fine. I know that guy. The resemblance doesn't annoy me that easily anymore."

The conversation began to turn more uncomfortable for Terra. She didn't wanted to dive too deep into Zidane when they barely knew each other.

Yet, she had so many things left to ask. "... He was so different from you... but still, I felt as if your eyes were the same... Aren't you... _siblings_?"

"I don't know." he simply said without any burden. "But... it just doesn't feel right to fight him." The thief stared back at the young lady. "I mean, it doesn't matter much werether we're relatives or just from the same race... but I just don't feel comfortable to have him as my enemy." At that moment, Terra realized the monkey-boy's true feelings towards the Chaos warrior. "There's a connection with him that I don't wish to blur with a battle."

It was a sad thing though. "But... if you want to get your crystal, you'll probably have to fight him."

He sighed encumbered. "Can't be helped."

Zidane didn't want to fight Kuja, it was that clear. And maybe it was right to hesitate. That man, _Kuja_, decided to help her when she was on need.

"Hope... he thinks the same way about you." The short youth looked at her with slight concern.

"He didn't give you a hard time, Terra? I mean, you met him, right? Was it a serious fight?"

"... I think I hurted him more than I wanted to."

"Hahaha, you may not look like it, but you're pretty strong, _aren't ya_?" It was something she couldn't understand at all, how easily his mood could change, just for the sake of cheering up the girl. "And what's your story? What about the guy you have to fight? Is he scary?"

Among Zidane's intentions, he just wanted to help her exorcize her inner demons, though Terra wasn't sure if it had to work that way. The very thought of Kefka overflowed her with horrible emotions.

"My connection with him isn't like yours, Zidane. Even if... once there was one bond between us, I'm afraid it's been dead since long." Her voice darkened a bit with this sentence, freezing the small remains of happiness she craved from this chat. "Maybe, I know deep inside what he meant to me... and I don't want to remember."

The young man fastened his pace towards Cloud and Bartz, inviting Terra to keep up with them. Yet his smile felt somewhat bitter. Those last words she said really woke-up something within him.

"This amnesia... does it make things harder or easier for us during battle?"

* * *

><p>He took a breath at The Void's abstract landscape. Somehow he managed to bring up the perfect chance to escape that ridiculous battle without looking like a coward... <em>did he?<em>

"... What was I thinking? I, against the brute loner? How did I find myself following Kefka's advice?"

'_What's wrong with me?... Are my memories... really fake?_'

He coud no longer tell what was real inside his mind and what was not. There were just a number of shallow-life memories, and Zidane's life being overrated... over his. He remembered jealously, over a father he never loved nor respected. What was all this about? Why did he hate the lad so much when... it never had to affect him on the beginning?

He learned to hate Garland, so there was no harm on leaving the boy be.

Still... '_I hate him. I hate him so much it's excruciating! Why do I hate Zidane so much? He was to replace me on something... I didn't want to do anymore..._'

Yes. But Zidane was there, to ruin his scheming, _the stairway to a beautiful world he'd rule with unending love_. Kuja sighed innerved at his thoughts

_What is love, anyways?_ He remembered the gorgeous gaian poetry, its tragic and romantic plays he learned them by heart, but still... he never understood such a feeling. Of course, he would describe the word in his most poetical manner possible, but still he didn't understand since he'd never be able to feel it. And if he did, how'd he know?

'_Stop_.'

Again. He had to move foward. Zidane needed to be punished anyways. In a brutal manner.

His mind responded to hatred, each time he tried to think about his connection with his brother, it was like a hot cask of revultion was poured unto him, drawing out the worst instincts of his persona. He just wanted to hate and destroy.

And then he haven't time to think about his_ fake memories_, as Ultimecia stated. Fake was inferior, and there was nothing worse than being in the bottom of the pyramid.

There was Zidane, just beneath his nose. He had friends watching his back. Such is the way for the poltroon men. Relying on others was the sign of weakness and inability. Trust was pointless in a world so evanescent and fragile like this, since they were just people gathered there to die, to eventually part ways forever.

Zidane was bringing many more friends with him this time, he silently watched.

Kuja bit his lower lip with displeasure. _The girl_ was walking along _with him_. Her doleful yet haunting beauty strolling between those boorish simpletons. Yet ironically, she looked more radiant when escorted by them rather than alone. It made him furious.

'_She's making a mistake._'

It was clear that she was misguided. A power like hers couldn't be deserved by those inferior warriors, while she could use them to _his_ favor! That lost lamb couldn't even control her powers, but she hadn't to share those gifts with these unworthy men hanging on faint hopes.

Hopefully they haven't noticed his presence yet.

He had to prove that they weren't fit for her allegiance. _How?_

The white mage smiled wickedly as he slowly summoned at will a dark portal behind him, allowing the safe entrance for manikins. Many of them to unfairly surpass the number of the group. Enough of them to force her to fight, to use her highly destructive magic.

The manikins weren't going to drive her mad for sure, but Kuja was sure they'd be able to trigger again the furious strength laid in her. She'd realize that those numskulls wouldn't be able to restrain her forever.

He'd just wait and watch as the new passionate clash unfolded under his eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>All work and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All work and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All Kuja and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All work and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All work and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All work and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All Kuja and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>  
><strong>All work and no slash makes Nymph a dull girl...<strong>

Sorry. I was watching the shining, and I wanted to be scary before pinche Halloween. I wonder how many times I used the word 'fluffy' in this chapter.

I said they'd be some ooc. Specially Squall, even when he does not directly appear in this chapter which is a little thing based on this comic right here (remove spaces, duh) ht tp: / / shiseptiana. deviantart. com/ art/ DDFF-Mysterious-Urge- 263543055. I've started to re-play FFVII because it's been so many years since last time (gotta love those ol' school mind-rape moments)... could explain Cloud's bits of oocness. I just hate his portrayal in dissidia, y'know? :P

**A/N: The truth is that Kefka is a pimp, both Kuja and Terra were victims of his abuse. This makes more sense than whatever was Sephiroth's goal. A fanfic should be written about this.**


	3. Uknown Intentions

**EDIT: Just fixed some problems about the italic words. I hope the chapter looks better now, it took me lot of effort to write the whole thing.**

**Warnings: Angst, lots of angst. Kefka being random again. Squall being a dick, as usual. Use of the word 'crotch'. **

* * *

><p><strong>III. Unknown Intentions.<strong>

They were terrified, she knew. The insecure magic girl destroyed a good bunch of the glass manikins with just one blow. Almost managed to hurt Bartz in the way. But... if he didn't realize on time, he could have lost his arm in the middle of the monstrous fire she created.

He said it was okay. Everyone tried to convince Terra that it'd be fine, that it wouldn't happen again.

They were lying.

Even Cloud. He previously saw how easily could she lose control on her powers. Bartz and Zidane were just a little frightened, but they didn't knew how worse could it have gone. The girl wasn't capable of getting a hold of herself.

Terra tried to hide it from them. Words should be enough to make her strong... but they weren't. Her dominion over magic wouldn't go any better like this, in random battles against manikins. What she needed was discipline. Otherwise she'd have to get used to physical combat, and that wasn't an option for her.

But... who'd show her how to properly order her outraegous magical strength? Most of her comrades were more adept into sworsmanship rather than magic... and she feared this time their help wouldn't do.

She sighed behind her male group of cronies, just after repairing all damages—most of them were her doing—, so they moved on to next stage of this Gateway.

'_I __can__'__t __go __on __just __like __this... __If __I __ever __hurt __anyone __again, __I __won__'__t __be __able __to __forgive __myself._' Within her chest, again the sultry feeling of hate and confusion bloomed again faintly, leading her thoughts towards Kefka again, and his wicked crackle. '_I__'__ll __be __ending __up __just __the __way __he __wants __me __to __if __I __don__'__t __fix __this __quickly!_'

"Terra, are you alright?" Zidane asked, evidently worried over her gloomy sight. She didn't speak after that sudden manikin ambush they were forced to fight. "If you want to talk about it..."

Cloud was looking at her too. Bartz was as lighthearted as ever, as if he never risked his own life before.

"I'll be fine, guys." she smiled. "You'll see, everything will be just fine."

Perhaps, their delight was getting contagious. She didn't want to smile, but uncounciously she did, in the same manner Zidane would do whenever he tried to cheer her up. However, it wasn't as if they couldn't see right through her despair.

"We are here for you, y'know. If anything troubles you, you can count on us. Right guys?" Zidane was such a leader, even managed to make Cloud nod in acceptation.

"I... just need time, Zidane. I need to become better at this thing of battling, alright?"

But it wouldn't help if she just spitted the words they wanted to hear. To become better, she had to get the best help she could... or a tragedy could grow in the vast battlefield.

"Hey, look! Isn't that Onion?"

She literally jumped and rushed blindly towards the armored boy. An overflowing joy exploded as she reached to her lost friend's hand. He violently flushed due her excitement of seeing him again. It was an emotion that pulsed fiercely inside her veins, and she couldn't explain it.

But it felt good. _What __was __that?_

If she wanted to keep this feeling alive, she should hurry to get a hold of her powers if she wished to protect it.

* * *

><p>Sometimes it was like a fly, just following him around to annoy him anytime he wanted to. Almost in a child-like manner, the jester was bouncing around with the only purpose of driving him to ask. It wasn't as if Kefka felt lonely, Kuja wouldn't swallow that rock, but being stalked like that was starting to... disturb him in a way the white mage couldn't comprehend.<p>

He's been wandering for hours like this. Not once he turned around to see Kefka following him, though he knew from the funky sound of his footsteps it was him.

_Was he... watching over him? _

The _boing_ of his shoes was starting to drive him insane. "Won't you just leave me alone, you wretched scum?" Kuja yelled at the silly-looking character a few yards from him.

Kefka pretended to look offended due the young man's sudden rage.

"Okey-dokey-lokey, just realized there's nothing to see here—_Cause __nothing __is __what __you__'__re __doing, __you __sissy __twerp!_ Even that _mamma__'__s __boy_ ended up being far more productive than you!"

Kuja just sighed hatefully to the madman and relaxed his facial gestures.

"... I'm not listening to you. I've got better drafts to think without you getting in my way." he spitted without a care.

But Kefka chuckled unamused. "Better than getting rid of the monkey-boy and his magical friendship?" This comment just made the Kuja frown. Again he was underestimating him.

"... Don't you have anyone else to bother?" said the youth placing his hands on his hips. '_It__'__s __not __likely __I__'__ll __share __my __plans __with __a __pig __like __you._'

The harlequinn grinned wide. "Actually not."

"Then out of my sight, before I start considering a more painful way to end your miserable existence, foolish clown."

The young mage just turned around and kept walking foward–away–from the clown. Then... he thought his ears caught a faint malicious whisper.

"... Do not bite the hand of the master."

Kuja glanced back at the mischievous man. "What did you say?" He surely spoke some new silly insult that surely deserved a death penalty.

"—_Don__'__t __have __enough __mustard!_" As always, out of nowhere, Kefka spitted something random.

"Pitiful. Both insane AND stupid." Kuja remarked unaware. Uncaring. Unsuspecting.

He eventually stopped being followed by the baleful one. Maybe he got bored and finally ceased of stalking the mage. Unknowningly being part of the devil's chess game.

"Just go to your little playground. Once you unfold your wicked scheme, I'll be judge to see werether my little mind-rape game worked or not. It's gonna be SO fun. Either way you choose, you're just gonna end up being destroyed, Kujie-coo!"

* * *

><p>They eventually crossed their path with yet another friend. Their trio was complete again. However, Terra wasn't sure they could be called a trio, since Squall wasn't precisely as vivacious as Bartz and Zidane. On the contrary, his gloom had a bit of resemblence with Cloud's. Other remarkable feature of the black-jacket young man was his height. He probably was as young as her, but he was the tallest among the group.<p>

Even Cloud silently greeted him, but Terra barely managed to shyly glance at the sulky teenager's eyes. Squall suited him well.

"Zidane, one guy who wants you fought me back there." Squall abruptly said, interrupting Bartz's fanfare. This made Zidane frown slightly, unease.

"You mean... Well, you're in one piece, I guess." Zidane responded.

Squall just shook his shoulders, everything alright. "You should use care. He might try to attack Bartz too... and maybe you too." he said glaring at Onion, Cloud and Terra respectively.

And the thief wasn't the only one with that turmoil, the girl also held a strong feeling of sickness inside with the thought of that man fought by Squall.

"Squall." she called, so far she didn't steer her word to the warriot. "When did you face him?"

"A couple of Gateways from here... doubt he followed me though. The guy ran away like a coward."

"... Was he strong?"

The glum-looking youth shook his shoulders again. "He knew pretty much advanced magic, but that's all."

"That's how Kuja usually is. All magic, not physical." Zidane added.

"Sounds darn simple." said Bartz without a care. But the short one strongly disagreed.

"No, it's not, Bartz. If memory doesn't fail me this time... he's got an atrocious power if he..."

But before Zidane could finish to explain, everyone noticed how Terra was gliding away from them, silent as a butterfly.

"Terra, where are you going?" the small knight rushed to ask first. She looked ashamed, heavily nervous, but she managed to answer fair to her judgement.

"I felt Kefka's presence somewhere nearby. I just want to be sure..."

"Let us come with you." Zidane insisted, stealing Onion's spotlight in time, but he was speaking for everyone.

Terra of course appreciated the courtesy of her friends, but for this time it was a matter she could solve alone.

"... Thank you, friends. But... this is something I need to do myself. I can't overcome my fears if I don't do it alone." It was painful, but she'd be on her own until she completed her goal. "I'll come back for you soon, I promise."

She was leaving, even after she just reunited with her little Knight.

"Terra." Everybody felt how the boy's heart broke a little, but Squall grabbed the kid's shoulder before he could run to follow the girl.

"Let her go." he said in stern voice. "Sometimes, it's some time alone is what we just need..."

All the friends quietly thought about Squall's words, deciding werether he was right or not. He wasn't known for being the brain or the sympathetic from the group, but he sure spilled some good words for once.

They seemed to dubiously accept the idea of letting her go on her own, but as soon as they made up their mind, they realized that the youth in black was leaving again.

"Hold on there, Squall, where do you think you're going now?" Bartz stood in Squall's, which stopped him just momentarily.

Squall just plainly said: "We're on a quest to find our crystals. You heard Cloud and Onion. They had to do it by themselves. So is Terra. So am I."

"You never change, do you, Squall?" Zidane sneered.

"_Cosmos __approves __it._" After one last cold glance he continued onwards the path he needed to go. A lone wolf as always. Of course, he still kept Bartz's lucky charm, or perhaps he already forgot he was carrying _the __nasty-looking __feather_.

"Right..." Bartz sighed, trying to not look so upset about Squall's apparent apathy. "Then, I guess next time we see each other around, at least one of us will have the crystal, is that a promise?"

"Whatever you want." he mumbled back, almost as far his voice could barely be heard.

"We'll see you then! Won't take us too long, promise!" Bartz shouted content. Squall just disappeared.

Then the thief slapped against the floor his tail, maybe he was frustrated about his friends leaving too soon. "Gee, Cloud, Onion. So it's just the four of us then..." But suddenly, they witnessed how Cloud tried to part away from them too. This almost caused a erratic yelp to come out from the young blonde. "Man!"

Cloud, however, retained himself in calm, stopped before he could get the rest of his comrades leap over him.

"Gonna keep an eye on her... just to make sure everything goes okay." he said, a rather fair excuse.

"Ha! and I thought our Onion was overprotective to Terra!" the mime Bartz unintentionally joked over this, but he was clearly as upset as his companion Zidane. Then he interfered, for Cloud's anxiety's sake.

"Relax, Cloud. She'll be able to handle herself. You heard Squall. We can't always be there, otherwise she won't be gaining much confidence on herself anytime soon."

But the short Onion Knight had to intrude as well. "... No. Cloud is right. At least one of us should watch her from afar."

This alarmed the other two friends. Something Cloud and Onion knew that they certainly didn't know.

"Is there something wrong with her?" Zidane asked the carrot-haired boy.

"Sometimes, I don't really know under what circumstances it happens, but she tends to lose control on her powers." The explanation worsened the worried expression on his face.

"Sounds like a big problem."

"She's insanely strong, and without any control... well, you know, she could even hurt herself." Onion Knight continued. Cloud then leaned, interested.

"So, you have faced her in that state?"

"Yeah. Barely made it alive." said the warrior kid. "... Cloud, would you mind if I go with you? If something happened, you wouldn't be able to..."

"Guys, your talk is seriously getting scary!" Bartz interrupted, extremely spooked after his fellows' talk. Zidane was the same. "Are you truly considering on fighting her if something goes wrong?"

"Is it that terrible?" the monkey boy asked apalled. "You're not gonna let us chase our crystals after listening to that whole issue about Terra!"

"You say it because you haven't seen her when she loses it!" Onion protested, out of nowhere he got profusely mad. However, Zidane kept calm before the little warrior.

"I guess so. But still, even if her situation goes like this, it wouldn't go any better if you just keep on breathing under her neck, stalking her every move. If she suddenly knows how much we fear for her, it's just gonna make things harder."

"We're not putting it like that." Cloud shook his head. "She's perfectly capable of taking over her powers. What we fear the most is..."

"... that somebody could take advantage of her!" Onion finished the sentence. "There's a bundle of circus freaks who are looking for her, because of her powers."

That got them into deep thought. They remembered their last battle against a barricade of manikins and Terra seemed forced to fight. With an explosive spell she almost wounded Bartz, which could have been a deadly blow. Everyone knew that, but they haven't thought it'd be a serious problem, but a casual accident.

"Now. That's a real problem." Zidane sighed, defeated by the facts. "Our only girl in the team: chased by every single weirdo around."

"Right... so then at least one of us should watch her back?"

The small and the spiky-haired one agreed. "Cloud, what do you think? It's either me or you."

"... You're the most fit. Terra seems to trust you better than anyone." Obviously they weren't using the measure of strength to decide over this matter, and everyone already knew how much the youngest one cared for the magic girl.

But then, the young warrior hadn't will to keep his own blush for himself. "Y-you think so?"

"B'awww, you're turning red, Onion!" Bartz mocked over the boy. And as expected the boy rushed to deny it.

"Hey, it's not what you think!"

* * *

><p>She hated to lie to her friends, nothing affected more than that, but there was no use. Somehow, Terra Branford knew she had to meet again with the man who fought Squall. The man who was opposed to Zidane, and maybe had the answer to maintain her powers under control.<p>

The girl ran, walked, flown over the wastelands outside the Gateway where her comrades remained, hoping to guess the location Squall had that encounter with the mage of long white garments.

His image, no matter how many times she imagined it, was hard to believe. She didn't know much of men clothing, so she might be wrong, the outfit he wore seemed more suitable for a lady...—_No, __not __even __a __woman __would __wear __those, __at __least __not __in __public_. Maybe it was just the different fashion that reigned on his world... _yet, __Zidane__'__s __clothing __didn__'__t __look __so... __extravagant._

'_Why __am __I __thinking __about __fashion __anyways?_' But now that she thought about it, it'd be hard to don't look at that man's crotch once they meet again. After hearing Zidane joking about that Kuja's outfit, she'd have a hard time focusing on something else. '_What __am __I __so __nervous __about?_'

Between her unnerving thoughts she felt she was going on circles, taking part of the wind's slow breath. She was sure she wasn't getting any closer to the next Gateway, and surely there were some manikins following her.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Should she go back to her friends with the tail between the legs?

She found herself surrounding some sort of ruins made of stone. It somehow looked surreal, cause though there were signs of devastation, it seemed it was never habitated by humans, as if it was constructed that way. It was like some small town. Then she realized there was a presence wandering nearby those walls of stone.

But she wasn't afraid at all. Could be another moogle. Manikins didn't usually convey a certain kind of presence. They weren't living beings, so that might explain their lack of that especial emanation. It was weird though, because she seemed the only one inside her circle of comrades who was capable of sensing other beings' aura.

Terra casually walked along the lying pillars of stone, somehow trying to appreciate the silent dead beauty of the spiralling details carefully carved on the cinder, but the presence kept on getting closer and she grew fidgety, because she couldn't recognize to whom belonged this aura. It felt too strong to belong to a moogle.

A sweet whisper blew at her side, and standing upside the head of a tall pillar, her eyes met with the slender pale figure of the mage.

Frozen at the moment she identified the androgynous man, she felt her tongue got stuck inside her throat. It was like learning to speak with men again. But she gave her best effort to don't look scared or nervous.

Good thing that from up there he'd hardly tell if she was looking at his face or his crotch.

"Heh, what a pleasing surprise. Was my lady looking for me?" His voice was as soft as velvet, and his skin looked as it. Now she realized how smooth it seemed to be, since he was showing that much.

"... I think I haven't thanked you for what you did for me back then." she said loud enough to be heard clearly. She needed to lose inhibition if she wished to be taken serious by this funny-looking man.

However, he kept on staing at her, his bright blue eyes were hard to read compared to Zidane's, so was his smile, so sleek and so shadowy. It was like trying to see through fog.

He came down to the same ground she walked in one lissome leap. His silver hair flowed like cascade, he was even more beautiful than Goddess Cosmos herself, and it was quite disturbing since he was male.

"Why, what you just needed was an outlet for your energy. By repressing such power, it eventually grew out of your control. I just took the necessary measure to chill down that restless flame of yours." They weren't particularly strong words, but Terra was having a hard time on trying to look straight at his eyes. Whenever she tried, she kept on averting.

"Still, why would you help me? You could have taken advantage of me on that moment."

"I'll guard my reasons for myself, besides..." Then she saw him bowing attentivelly to her, in a most polite manner. "... it was a pleasure to offer my aid to a beautiful young lady in distress."

"Uhm... _thank __you_?" She was a bit relieved to see this kind of behaviour on him. '_He __isn__'__t __that __different __from __Zidane._' However, he was noticeably more haughty than the blond one.

"And how rude of me! I apologize for the late introduction." He stretched out his hand. "You may call me by the name of Kuja."

Just for prudence, she remained closed, choosing not to acceot his hand. "... I'm Terra." But he didn't appear offended, not after she said her name. In fact, Kuja looked astouned, and his pale tender face seemed to gleam at the sound of her name.

"_Terra_? What an intriguing and beautiful name." He wasn't mocking, but his overly-dramatic voice sounded like it at this point.

"I... Wait a minute. You are from Chaos' Warriors. I don't understand why would you just..." Terra watchfully stepped back, taking careful distance from the other mage. "I don't get it."

"To get started with... Mind sharing your reasons for chasing after me, my dear Terra?" _They __just __met __twice __and __he __was __already __playing __with __the __name_.

"My reasons? I think you may know them already." she answered dryly. "Else, why would you expect me to find you?"

Kuja smiled nimbly.

"Your powers are quite something. And yet you seem to fear them to the point you don't dare exploring their full potential."

"All what my powers have done so far is to destroy. I'm tired of it all. I don't want to destroy things or people. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." As if it wasn't fairly obvious to him ever since last time.

"Illustrate me. If those powers are yours, how do you let this happen?" His eyes enclosed, but focused strongly into her, without drifting his smooth smile.

"I know they are, but—"

"There's no reason for such a weak willed girl to possess such strength. It's pointless if you can't control it. Those are YOUR powers, and if you don't solidify your mind, along with them, you are nothing but a tool." His words hit her like stones, yet his voice never failed to sound so evenly. "_The __weak __lose __their __will __to __the __strong_. There can't be an unbalance between two forces, dear canary."

Terra's heart dropped one pound and she closed his eyes heavily, trying so hard to don't let her tears come out. _But __how __silly. __She __didn__'__t __even __remember __how __to __cry!_

She took a slow breath and stared again at the vain young man. "Why are you telling me this?" It was his intention to hurt her, but it was a necessary pain, to pull her out of her main flaw. Her weakness.

"Aren't my words of any help at all? Or do you still want to see me as the bad wolf of your fragile fairy-tale?" He came one step closer when she covered her eyes with one hand, but she again took care of the distance. "There, there. Crying is not a a luxury for a warrior, is it?"

"I'm fine. I cannot cry anyways." her voice cracked a bit, but recovered in a matter of few seconds, gaining enough strength to look at him in the eyes again.

"Is that it? A shame. The tears of a maiden can merge into a most tragic beauty..." Terra decided to don't understand what he spoke about a girl's tears, cause it seemed he knew just as much as she did: _nothing_. "—However, I'm not poisonous. At least not for you, pet." At least she could admit he was a bit charming with the usage of words.

"If you were like Kefka, then I doubt you'd point these things out for me." It was all she could come up with.

Now, that really seemed to offend him.

"Of course I'm not like that annoying fool. And I do pity you for having the displeasure of knowing him." Now she knew, he hated Kefka.

"Glad you don't get along with him." she smiled faintly. It was still strange, since the man before her was so far considered as an enemy. "So you say I must be of stronger mind if I wish to control my magic better..."

Kuja raised one thin brow. "In that way you'll be able to use it as you please."

Before she could even realize, she found herself building a new question she might regret.

"_Could __you...?_ You're a strong mage too, right?"

He grinned slowly. "I'm open for suggestions, Terra my dear."

"Would you... perhaps... _teach __me_?"

It came out. She couldn't believe she just said it. Kuja just smiled wider.

"Tell me, canary, what is it that drives you unto wanting me, a Chaos Warrior, to abet you in such a delicate and personal matter?" The tone he used to formulate the question wasn't helping much her entusiasm. But she started to see with her heart's anxiety, not with her mind's eye.

"You helped once. I know there must be a reason for it; warriors of Chaos don't normally do things like that, I guess."

Maybe it wasn't turning out to be her brighest idea. But it was a risk she wanted to take. Besides, _Kuja __couldn__'__t __be __THAT __bad, __could __he?_

"And what, dear, shall I get in return for what you inquire? Mmm? Set the price, if you can."

"I don't know..." That was a problem, and there wasn't much she could offer without damaging her morals or compromising her loyalty to her friends... That was it. "What about this? If someday you are in a hurry, if you ever get in trouble, _I__'__ll __come __to save you_ in any way I can... Is that alright for you?"

His grin twisted, while he quietly studied the girl's proposal. It couldn't save her from some nasty outcomes, but it was smart enough to don't force her unto misguiding deeds.

"Hn, doesn't sound fair enough, but I guess that's the best you can offer due our current position." Terra missed a heartbeat right there.

"So, is it a deal?"

Kuja just turned around and walked away. He seemed to love suspense, after he finally gazed back at her with a placid smile on his face.

"When do you wish your lessons to start?"

It came all of sudden. She felt a rush inside her heart, realizing of how unreal it felt to have a Warrior of Chaos willing to fullfill her request. It was a dream she couldn't shake off. But then again, she had to reply if she wanted to be done with it.

"... Uhm... How about right here tomorrow?"

"Then it shall be." The robes of the mage floated along the wind, his legs looked so slender even with the long heavy armored boots. His eyes now looked so dark. "Do you trust in my guidance?"

That sure was a good question. Though the answer was quite obvious. "I'll see if you deserve it, Kuja."

It was the first time she called him by his name.

He even laughed with that subtle elegance. "With your senses sharp. That's how good women should be." She didn't know if to take it as an acomplishment. "Pride yourself over others at least, you haven't figured just how bright you shine."

The words were fallen ignored. "... I just hope I'm not mistaken about you."

"That depends on what you're thinking about me. You too. Surprise me next time we meet... And please, take care of not having anyone following you." He laughed for a last time, this time in a more melodious custom. "I'm off then."

She saw him part away, flying far and fast as if he didn't care about his white large robe around his waist being lifted by the naughty breeze. Of course, she hadn't time to care about that detail either.

Her mind already was occupied by the heavy hardships that would come after this pact with the silver haired gentleman. Surely there was something corrosive within his soul, it was tainted, but he... just_ didn't feel like an evil person_. And she doubted it was only because of his chivalry habit.

His soul held cruelty, but not such thing as evil.

"... Kuja..." she whispered breathless, staring at a dusty sky. "What do you really want?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'll give you a cookie if you find MLP FiM references in this chapter. :P**

**Kuja's fashion sense is obviously an issue. Most of seemingly kinky thoughts aren't sexual in any way. This fact frightens even me.**


	4. Hypocrisy

**IV. Hypocrisy.**

He suddenly started to crack up like crazy. Not like Kefka wasn't heavily messed up already, but he started out of nowhere, his screeching laugh bounced among the dark dusty walls of the Old Chaos Shrine. Everyone was surely clenching their teeth at the unbearably annoying laugh. Kuja had it worse, since the vexatious clown had this habit of stalking too closely the youngest warrior.

"—You do realize that it doesn't matter either way to wear that skirt?" He was starting to take it too far. While some of the chaotic warrior wanted to shut Kefka's mouth, others were keen to see the outcome.

Maybe Kuja would finally explode. "It's a robe, moronic jester!" Either way, it wasn't as if the youth could really do something against Kefka. "I'm counting the seconds to erase your pointless life."

"You mad? And if we're talking about pointless existence, your pretty skirt is on the list!" Kefka squealed making some sort of playful movement with his hand, simulating a kitten's paw. "Aw, now, don't get mortified. It's not like there's anyone in this cranky room who hasn't seen your beauty spot on your left cheek down there!"

Kuja's face suddenly transformed, unlike anyone had ever seen before. Though Kefka's little comment almost triggered laughter among the other warriors.

"That's it. YOU ARE DEAD." The young mage was ready to fire a deadly bolt against the unconcerned jester, but suddenly he couldn't move.

_The Reaper couldn't move his hand from there_. He was frozen.

Ultimecia, stood in front of the young man with amused eyes. Her skin-tight crimsom dress was designed to tempt and deceive. She was obviously much older than she looked. At least her abstract make-up was a bit more tasteful than Kefka's waggy vomit of colors.

And of course, always standing aside with the unbearably arrogant Emperor Mateus. Sometimes together they rather looked like the witch along her golden armored knight—_though everyone knew that the Emperor would never move a finger to save anyone's back_—. His face was completely flawless, maybe because he was careful of showing no emotion, all the time.

And both the witch and the tyrant wore ornamental horns over their heads. _They were so made for each other, it seemed_.

But nevertheless, Kuja never realized when did he started to point his hand to Ultimecia, instead of Kefka. The jester was still on the same place, behind the white mage. However, the witch never felt threatened by Kuja, but she was visibly irritated by both him and the clown.

"Kuja, are you willing to disturb our this reunion by picking up a fight with him? Be realistic, you wouldn't manage to get that far, child." But then again, she always prefered to bait on the younger one. Her blood red lips curved into a taunting smile. "Thus he ain't wrong about your garments."

Her sickening laughter was venomous silk for men's ears. Few would think of it as a charm, others would realize it was a cruel torment. _That was Ultimecia for everyone_. And the lack of purity disgusted Kuja to his guts. But it wasn't the Time Witch whom he was after.

"I'm not here to withstand this abyss and waste my precious time. I'm taking my leave now." It was as if suddenly the young man forgot about Kefka's offense. As if it was erased from his mind.

The man of white robe left the Shrine without looking back at anyone. And as if the game wasn't fun enough, Kefka even bothered to screech his vulgar farewell.

Garland and Golbez witnessed the scene as well. But only the lunarian mage among them thought that something terribly wrong was happening under their carpets. Perhaps, everyone else knew something about Kuja that he didn't. The only one who started to care in silence.

"Take that, you peacock!" he yelped. "Your little mole is just as well known as Ultimecia's pubic hair's color!"

Kuja wasn't the only one angered by the clown's behavior.

"May I kill you now?" Ultimecia's purple claws cracked at the thought. Spikes of glass began to appear around an unaware Kefka.

"I don't see any complaints about that idea." said the Emperor, sitting cozily on the Old Chaos' throne. "But if the fool has got an excuse..."

Kefka just kept on cachinnating his lungs out. A drop of spit managed to graze the witch's leg.

"I'm seriously going to rip off that mouth of his face..." The thick bullets of iron rained on the joker, but he crazily jigged away from the fatal attack without a care in the world.

This wasn't a battlefield anymore. This ridiculous fight was a playground and they were just urchins.

"Shall you quit it? Acting as children won't lead any of you to the success you claim."

The two spellcasters froze, glancing upon the great black armor of Golbez. But his dark shape wasn't but a joke for unruly mages like them.

"... You aren't in position for lecturing us, Golbez." Ultimecia crossed her arms staring at him with disbelief. "Not when everyone around you is fully aware of the kinship you carry with your enemy."

"I, just like all of you, was dragged into a forceful war were we shan't end but in further conflict. None else. And I do not wish to take part on even more senseless fights." he simply replied. There was little they could do to scare him now. He knew horrors of all kind.

"And yet, you won't expose your true intentions to the other warriors._ So little you trust on us? Oh silly me, you have a point._"

Golbez was a smart man, _perhaps too much_. He knew he was under their constant judgement, and they'd be waiting for him to make the wrong movement so they could frame him as the traitor they believed him to be. Otherwise, they couldn't touch him. The wisest thing for him to do was to remain silent about his purposes.

Eventually, after long teasing, he left the place for the looneys. He was obviously not in his place now.

"He's just a half-baked cookie..." Kefka snarled sticking out his tongue. Casually he was found standing a few inches next to Ultimecia.

She wasn't happy still. "And you keep your distance. I'm still thinking on a proper punishment for your loose mouth." And the clown still thought of that threat as a fun game.

But once again, before she could fall again into his diversion, the sonorous clanging of the Emperor's staff forced them to distract from their opcoming clash.

"Ultimecia, leave Kefka for a moment. You know that dead he won't be as obliging as he is now." his stern voice suggested. "_I don't need to remind you all what happened the past cycle with Kuja_. Is Golbez gone? Good."

"Thank you, your majesty." said Kefka in a scornfully teasing manner.

"... But beaten-up is still helpful." Mateus answered, still firm. He was giving again that look to Ultimecia, she grinned maliciously at his statement. "Anyways, you couldn't manage to make him as submissive as your last pet... _what was her name again_?_... Terra_?"

"Wha—? Wait _you little king wannabe_!" the clown squealed. "You have no idea how much it took me to mess up his head? It's a bloody fortress of doom!" Kefka suddenly became a hysterical lady. "Besides, the Puppeteer's Wheel doesn't work on him as it should, and the stupid moogles don't sell any of them anymore!"

"Then I should carry out the spell." Ultimecia suggested, standing up proudly shaking her majestic black wings. On the other hand, the jester was awfully pissed off with the amount of criticism from those two lovebirds.

Strangely enough, Kefka emulated Mateus' stern face. "_Hands off him, Witch. Get your own doll to play with._" he replied with a disquietingly sane tone.

But the Emperor laughed amused, on that very faked manner of his. "You can't call him a doll, Kefka, when you can't even control him as you wish."

His head turned slowly to see the despot bathed in gold. Kefka's smile was wide, forceful and disturbing.

"I want to see my doll break!" he squawked, just like a spoiled kid. Ultimecia just stared at him unamused and flied towards her closest ally.

The Emperor just sighed, tired of making his ears bleed while listening to the fool. "... _What else to expect from a mentally unstable man?_ As long as you keep us outside your demented games, do what you wish with Kuja."

Kefka was about to show another obscene gesture to the pair. But the witch raised her voice:

"Don't delude yourself. There's people who can manipulate others without the need of magic." She held her haughty face up, but then again, she didn't need to do much to make Kefka look ridiculous. "But of course, if your game implies the early destruction of them... beware. _We NEED those warriors to get their crystals eventually._"

Careful planning was just boring. The shrew and the bully were taking the easy way cause they had no sense of humor. They were as boring as a fast death.

"You bunch of joykillers. Where's the fun on just letting the scoutboys to get their cookies?"

* * *

><p>Same place. Same time of the day. It wasn't supposed to be hard to remember for a clever man like himself. The mage was about to have his debut as a teacher and he was late for the first class.<p>

And of course, it was rude to make a lady wait. _A lady that was supposed to see him soon as her master._

He flied across the fields, though it was hard to go fast without messing up his hair. Kuja hated to look unpolished. '_If only moogles could offer a better wardrobe._' Besides the past argument he had with Kefka early this day, he could hardly focus on his current schedule.

Kuja remembered that the bastard pressed a button on him, and he was about to erradicate him with a blast of his many poweful spells. But somehow... he found himself aiming Ultimecia. The moment still confused him. '_Should I still give importance to such a thing?_'

Suddenly, the young silver mage arrived to the ruined town of stone, the place of their appointment. From the inert gray of its crumbled walls, he easily spotted the rosy colors of the girl.

Her name was Terra. _Terra_. _He loathed that name_, but cherished the beauty of that girl. He craved the lifeless blue splendour of that place inside his blurred memories. It was his beautiful land of pain.

He quietly landed his feet next to her. She was looking for something beneath the rocks, examinating the devastated pillars. The dusty air flew across her cinder blonde locks, lifting her face to gaze up at him.

The young thespian smirked slowly as their eyes met again. Dim blue against soft purple.

"Looking around for a trap, perhaps, bird?"

"I... needed to be sure." Of course, he expected her to cast doubt on him; he needed to be pacient to get his way with the girl. "I didn't think I'd find you here."

'_How modest._'

"May I ask you if you came alone?" She nodded. Kuja noticed how stiff she really was right now. This single situation was awkward and filled with tension, so she was completely enclosed to herself.

"It was hard to get away from my friends and convince them that I'd be fine on my own..."

"They obviously don't know of what you're capable of, my dear." he chuckled, remembering the painful previous experiences he had to go through for this special moment. "So, shall we get started with our first lesson?"

Terra startled a bit, then her head leaned left in confusion. "... Just like that? Ain't you gonna ask something else?"

He knew he'd better gain her trust in the best way possible. Kuja needed to go slow paced otherwise he'd turn her away.

"Wouldn't that be just unapropiate? A good teacher can't become close with the student in the first class. Call it respect of privacy." She needed to feel safe. Terra would eventually have to lose that feeling of distrust.

"... Uh... Sure."

"Now, why don't you take a sit?"

Tossing all worries aside, he felt somewhat excited, the experience of becoming an instructor, to share his vast knowledge to the most fit and priviledged child. It'd be an enlightening happening.

_She'd be so grateful that she'd soon be doing all of his biding without question._

"First, let's get to the theoretical bit of the lesson, shall we?"

The girl suddenly got scared. "_Theoretical_? You mean... I must write everything down...?"

"Of course not, silly girl! What we talk in here, you'll have to remember it well inside your head, I don't want you to take any notes on this lessons. Did I get myself clear? Good." Maybe he was being too abrupt on the start. However, she seemed to be taking it all fine.

"... Alright. Then, what do you want to teach me first?"

"I want you to begin by telling me with your own words from where your power comes from. Don't show it to me, just explain yourself clearly and loud."

Slowly he began to realize that shyness was a thing of hers. It was charming on her way, though it wouldn't kill her to loosen a little. Her lips were shaking each time she tried to speak up.

"I... just think about the element, and it comes out. Until I see it, then I try to control it."

"No. No, no, no, NO! That's wrong, Terra. Just terrible. How do you expect to control strength by just seeing it?" He couldn't explain how, but he lost it. He was a magic user, and could not help himself but to feel frustrated of hearing such non-sense. "My, I just wonder what would happen to you if you wore a blindfold!"

Then, he looked into her eyes, tried to don't shrink by staring at those enchanted purple orbes. "And then how should I do it? " she asked, couldn't tell by her voice if she was scared or ashamed.

"The magic, it flows inside of us like a river, it must be seen like the life-stream of our body. Magic isn't just an object you can use, it is a part of us, it's another limb that composes our complex anatomy. Understand?"

"I know that but... there's people who are born without magic, and yet, how are they capable of having a better control of it?"

"It's not important who's born with magic or who isn't. Besides, your case is special, one of a kind. You posses an incredible amount of power, so it's understandable to see such a young girl struggling on it's management."

Now, she looked like she had a rainy day. "... Is it really... that awful?"

Kuja then realized that this girl wasn't so beautiful when she was sad. Once he saw her smile, when she was scorted by her _so-called friends_. She'd be radiant.

"It isn't awful. What kind of depressive ideas deceive your little head? On the contrary, you should be aware that getting a hold of that power, you should be able to do anything you want. Imagine it. With a power like that, you are even capable of destroying a God single-handed."

Well, he was just saying it because most of the numbskulls from Chaos' side wore the typical God Complex. However, he couldn't tell yet about Chaos himself, since he always held a neutral opinion about that one. _The God... was dreamless_.

"Whatever, you need to keep in mind, that magic is part of our mind and soul. As we learn to use it as a primary necessity, we assume it as part of us. That's what you need to know from the beginning."

She sank herself in thought, perhaps trying to take everything he just explained. At least Terra was trying, it gave him purpose.

"... Kuja,_ were you born with the gift of magic_?" she asked, after some seconds of silence.

The white mage almost giggled. "My dear girl, do you expect me to answer that question?"

"Right, sorry." The doll was finally growing curious for him. She longed for fondness; his plan was beginning to succeed. "So, what I need is to see the power as part of myself so I can control it better?"

"That is just the first step. Since I'm still obliged to consider your fear of perilous magic, what we must initially do is help you overcome such fright."

"... And then?"

"Do not rush me, my lady. First things must go first."

"Well, how do you plan on calm my fears?" Since she first lost fear of him, she'd progress rapidly.

But it was too soon for Kuja to become fond of the girl. She was tool. '_She's my doll._'

"Weigh that those powers are yours, Terra dear. You are required to keep in mind that you are the only owner of that magic. It's yours and none else's. Repeat that to yourself inside your head until it hurts."

"You don't mean it literally...?"

"I DO mean it _literally_, girl of mine." he answered, rather aggressively. "You must convince yourself of that thought." Again, he frightened her again. He should try something else. "Or maybe should I help you out with a simple exercise of magic control?"

"That sounds like a better start."

Kuja sighed. "... _Ardous bird wants facile things_..." He shook his head and used a sign to tell her to stand up. "Right, but don't you try turning berserk against me in the middle of it."

Swiflty she froze. Was it something he said just now? Her eyes darkened.

"Berserk? Do you know...?"

"—Doesn't matter what I know, Terra. Remember: respect of privacy."

It seemed he needed to be extremely careful of not touching too deep her thoughts. She'd go catatonic if he hurted her emotionally, he feared. Besides, by the way she reacted towards the reference, it indicated him that Terra had no memory of attacking him back on the Phantom Train...

Now he knew the extents of her boisterous powers, taking her to the point of having amnesia after the use of them. Maybe she wasn't even aware of what she was. When she transformed, she was a confused creature that could kill anything, anyone who could represent a menace to her.

Such was her confusion and fear, that she blacked out. Not knowing whom she was nor what to do with such magic, she easily surrendered into madness.

And Kuja needed that beasty girl with her mind in place, so he could command it as he wished.

"Do I get started now?"

The red mage snapped him out of his thoughts. Kuja didn't speak for a while after his 'respect of privacy' thing.

"Just follow my instructions, you'll be fine." he answered. "First, I want you to close your eyes and listen carefully to my words." He observed how she complied. "Cast blizzard." She did, but the ice chunk she formed was fired abruptly to the air. "No, wrong. Do not launch the ice as soon it comes out, mantain it within your grasp. Try again and slowly."

The crisping sound of glass smoothly caressed her fingertips as the pale white shades materialized between her trembling hands. She was doing it quite with eyes closed, her breath slow; it proved his theory right, her senses sharpened without sight.

"Now, you need to play with the ice in your hands, eyes still closed. Take it as your dancing partner." But just after he finished his sentence, the ice collapsed into messy snow flakes.

"Oh, it broke."

"Start over." He shook his head. "This time, try to move more gracefully with the ice. Remember that it's an extension of your limbs."

She tried to focus again, but stopped in the middle of it. "... Just... Give me a second." _Was it too difficult for her to take her concentration in for a minute?_ Maybe it was him who made her so nervous.

After, Terra was ready to take note again. "Relax, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Visualize the ice taking form and dance to its music..."

She did exactly what he wanted... repeated the same process, this time she had a better pace on shaping the ice into perfect diamonds. _But Kuja was still highly unsatisfied._ In deep focus, the girl was just floating above the dusty ground...

"Now let it vanish." he finally said, taking into count each second. Then the crystalline shards disolved into a finer white dust.

"That... wasn't so hard."

"It's because you did it wrong again, dear." he aserted severely. Terra then stared incredulously at him.

"What? Why?"

"You managed to invoke the icing spell as I told you and maintained as long as I expected, but your style and moves are frankly rowdy and artless." But complicated words didn't seem to affect her so much. "I mean, you are clumsy." _She got that, positively_.

"Hey! You don't have to be so mean!"

"Oh, so you'd rather me to lie?"

She backed away for a second. Kuja didn't think he'd frustrate her that easily. _He wasn't asking so much yet._

"I'm sorry, but you said I had to dance with the ice and..." Terra's face was turning red, getting a hard time to enunciate a nice explanation. "I wasn't sure what to do, I didn't want to lose balance and... look, I don't know how to dance!"

Those words, Kuja couldn't explain how, enfuriated him with a fact he couldn't aknowledge as real. He couldn't accept it.

"What is this? A girl who doesn't know the delicate art of dancing?" he bursted out, unknowingly is he was mocking or greatly upset. "In what kind of sick mounstruos world you lived in?"

Terra took some fierce and faced him, as if any previous intimidation was utterly vanished. The quivering dove was no more. Still, she was just that clumsy girl; Kuja maintained his feet on the ground.

"Kuja, I'm trying! I really want to give my best, but I don't understand how is dancing important for this!... Maybe you aren't a good teacher." _Now, that was disagreeable_.

"Maybe you are a bad student." he spitted back with no shame.

He was the one who held the experience, he was the one who knew the best of magic, and he was the most qualified for teaching such arts. _Kuja deserved some respect, didn't he?_

"Just tell me, what is what you want me to do?"

"... First off, you say you can't dance. At least you know how to dodge the attacks from your enemies?"

"I do, but—"

The white mage prepared under his sleeve a dim ball of energy. "Ready or not, I demand a show!" In less than a second, Kuja fired at her his signature Holy spell.

"Wai—!" If she wasn't previously warned by Kuja's words, she could not have ducked the shimmering sphere of light he shot at her. "What are you doing?"

"You barely managed to respond. With such dull moves you expect to survive a skilled and quick opponent? You need to dance, girl."

Terra still kept her distance away from him, in the top of one of the stone pillars. Ever since he was a warrior of Chaos, she'd be expecting some sort of surprise attack like this... but somehow she let her guard down.

"I still don't understand how is dancing going to help me!" she cried angrily.

"Do you think dancing won't be of any help? Silly girl! Dancing shall be the most helpful tool for an unbalanced body like yours. If you can dance, you have control of your body's movements!"

"Do you dance?"

The Chaos warrior chuckled, amused by the girl's ignorance. "Dancing is an art, and as a man rich on culture, I do know the most proper techniques." as the way he's already shown on his... fighting style.

"How can I be sure that it'll work?" Terra carefully got down again, looking at him with the same distrust from the first day. "You aren't just pushing me to please your whims, are you?"

And she was smart. She wasn't up to take humiliations for the enemy, and that was an attitude Kuja appreciated in female subjects.

"I can assure you that teaching you is already giving me headaches, love." he smiled bitterly.

The doll-like magician stepped closer, her shoulders down and her eyes on her red boots. She knew she was losing. If she wanted to learn it right, she had to do it in Kuja's way. Else she'd be putting her friends in danger if they were to teach her.

Terra lifted her head and looked into his eyes with great determination. "... I'll take on your lessons, Kuja. But you're still a terrible teacher." He had to admit he was surprised about the girl's courage, not shown just by actions, but the growing light inside her. He laughed coldly.

"And you're a most faulty student." Kuja turned around and held still his white long robe around his waist, knowing he'd be soon on a shifty mode. He wasn't up to impress the little Terra more than needed. Then he looked back at her and stretched his gentle cold hand. "... Just follow my lead and you'll do just fine."

* * *

><p>He couldn't believe how much sweat soaked his inner sleeves. Never knew he'd be able to sweat this much. That girl sure gave him a really hard time, but she was of fast learning. In a matter of short time he'd be able to start on advanced magic lessons.<p>

'_She looks beautiful when tired._' he pictured again the dainty curves of her body dressed in the tight red silk, seeing the tiny drops of wetness caressing her in the middle of her small chest. It became hard to focus on something else, but he was the best man to conceal lust with commend.

He shouldn't think about that. He wasn't that kind of depraved men. '_I'm a terrible man, am I not?_' He was loving her body, because she was as beautiful as him, wasn't it? He agreed with that conceited thought.

Kuja watched his back, assured he felt the presence of another person with great magic powers. Though not as close as Terra's powers were. He's been going through the Lunar Subterrane in order to get past through the hateful Gateway. The mage behind him had been close for a while now.

"How surprising, to see the dull warlock following me. Rather less displeasing than that badly-painted buffoon." It was the dark armored one, Golbez. The most infamous among the warriors of Chaos, and not precisely infamous for his evil deeds.

His wide and tall figure held such an overwhelming appearance, but it didn't scared him. Not while rumors about him kept on running between the little hills of this world.

"You should be careful with whom you intend to play games with." His deep solemn voice adviced. Perhaps he was too calm.

"Another lecture? No, thank you. How thoughtful, but I'm not up to hear it." Kuja responded uninterested.

"The least thing you need is pity, Kuja. But I do want to warn you about your actions." Golbez replied, as passive as ever. "You shouldn't understimate Kefka's power."

"Now are you bowing down for him? You're making me pity you, Golbez."

"Save your false sympathy for yourself, as you might need it afterwards if you don't listen."

He didn't want to hear about Kefka. Not when this day was going right. But it was always that madman who drove him to the edges of anxiety. It was always Kefka.

"What do I have to listen that is so urgent? Don't waste my time."

"Whatever you are trying to do to that girl, you'd better to use care." This proclamation sure made him go tense, as he couldn't predict Golbez would know about his secret meeting with the girl from Cosmos. The matter, if known by others, it could slander him as a traitor. He'd bear the rage of all the other warriors. All his plans would be ruined. He'd be doomed.

But Golbez didn't stop there.

"The real danger doesn't lie beneath her powers, but the eyes that watch her..." he said severely as his sober voice echoed inside his dark helmet. "And if I were you, I'd be more careful with Kefka. Indeed he's been sewing something behind you."

Kuja, for the first time, didn't respond against someone's words. The great thaumaturge weaved his dark blue cape behind him and left without else to say.

He was still shocked for being discovered by the other warrior, but Kuja reinquired his situation. Golbez was Golbez. He knew when to keep his mouth shut hence he never affected the other warriors.

And then there was Kefka. That deranged parrot had been stalking him ever since he woke-up in the new cycle. Why was it? Couldn't be...

"A foolish dog who barks. Nothing else."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Again, I'm successful to make Kefka annoying. I love writing annoying guys. And yay, Palamecia implied in this chapter!**

**If Golbez is taking relevance, then that means that Cecil shall be there too... being relevant or something. I like these two...**

**And I want to make something gay too, but this isn't the right fanfic. NGH. It's too tempting. With Kefka being all silly with Kujie-coo and also wanting Terra back. FUA. It's an awfully sick threesome, not like TifaCloudAerith, but close. It's not like Tifa ever had a lesbian relationship with Aerith or somethin... but, okay, you don't need to know what I mean.**


	5. Loveless

**ffff... the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that Squeenix should rename this game "Dissidia: Friendship is Magic." :B**

**Warning: Kuja goes a little batshit here. **

* * *

><p><strong>V. Loveless.<strong>

Couldn't really tell how, but she found herself meeting him each of the past five days. And on each of these, she went stronger and sharper. And the more time she spent with Kuja, the more she was aware of his true intentions.

Terra wasn't stupid. She perfectly knew that man wanted to use her powers for his purposes, and he was trying to somehow deceive her into his sick will. Subtly. If he tried to gain her trust by teaching her to rein her magic powers. Of course, she was grateful and his help was breeding good results... but he was _supposed_ to be evil. If he was summoned by Chaos, it should have been because of comitting horrible things. Like the rest of them..._ like Kefka_.

But she was bad too, wasn't she? To think about Kefka and the fragmented memories that assaulted her dreams... she couldn't think of herself as a saint.

'_... Serving Chaos suited you much better, don't you think?_'

Kefka's words were poison for her mind.

Then she realized, how little had she thought about it. Terra tried not to, because she'd end up hurting herself even more. Perhaps... she was blocking away those memories; yet the feelings still touched her surface.

"You okay, Terra? You haven't spoke for a while now." asked Zidane leaning towards her.

Of course, her thoughts usually drove her out of her reality. It was something she needed to fix eventually. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

Surrounded by her new friends made her comfortable. She had the chance to meet many more of the Cosmos' Warriors, such as the chivalrous knight Cecil, the virtuous warrior Firion and the cheerful fighter Tidus. Sometimes she divided her encounters with them, since she constantly had to return to the same place and simultaneously use different ways to don't awaken suspicions about her extracurricular activities.

'_I just hope they don't start thinking I'm a lonesome... I don't want to keep them away all the time._' She wasn't as strong and cold as Squall, so she wasn't fitted for the role of lone wolf.

Besides, they would suspect from her lack of advance on her quest for her crystal.

"You don't need to feel bad about not progressing much on your quest, Terra. We haven't found ours either. And I can bet ya Squall hasn't got any better luck." he smiled at her, always so gentle, yet slightly sly. "Just look at it on the bright side. The longer it takes us to find the crystals, the more time we can spend together."

Those words touched her heart with gentle anxiety. "... We are supposed to go back to our worlds once... this war is over, right?" Terra sighed feebly sad. "And we need our crystals for that, or at least that's what Cosmos implies... It's so vague, and we still don't understand. Do you?"

Zidane just shook his shoulders. "Beats me."

But she had to look at it on the bright side. _What if she didn't even had in her world... such a thing a 'home'?_ She didn't remember on having friends or family.

And the girl hated to admit it, but Kefka was the only thing she had.

"Maybe you are right... I'd like to stay here longer, with all of you."

"I like you a lot, Terra." he said, and the girl gazed at him strangely. _Was he blushing?_ "But... I don't want to stay in this place forever. I know there's a place I need to go back to, and I know there is people who'll be waiting for me there, no matter how much I love to hang out with you, guys."

"... I see."

"Come on, cheer-up. I'm sure that, even if you don't remember, there's people in your world who waits for your return."

"I hope you are right, Zidane. With all my heart."

Once they reached the end of the Gateway, passing through another scene of the Prima Vista stage, which naturally Zidane identified as some theater he was related to. Terra was quite glad for him to at least remember the origin of the landscape they were immersed into. They could see from afar the beautiful and mystical scenery of a great castle surrounded by fog; they couldn't reach there however, because if they jumped out of stage they'd end up crashing against some invisible wall. What they needed to do was to find the rift's gate to get past the place.

Before they could reach out, they found themselves being followed by an exhausted knight in dark blue armor and forbidding design of helmet... but they already knew who was it inside. Zidane waved his arm pleased upon meeting the dark knight.

"I wasn't expecting so many manikins to appear all at once... I'm glad to see you again." His voice was really smooth and kind, and that's an attribute Terra learned to like about her newest friend.

"Hey, Cecil. How's everything going?"

"I thought I'd find you outside this Gateway." His helmet was meant to look like demon's face, yet his personality was so gentle. "... I just came back from talking to Cosmos. I needed her advice about something my brother said..."

Terra leaned foward, curious about Cecil. "Brother?"

"Woah, you mean... that guy with the hulky black armor?" And Zidane seemed to share such curiousity.

"He is." Cecil reponded firmly.

"And... he's on Chaos' side too?"

Zidane's question provoked Terra's heart to jump down her lungs. She couldn't see under Cecil's iron helmet, but she felt as if his warmth faded a little.

"Sorry, for not telling you earlier. It is an important matter I need to clarify too. I can't hide this from the other warriors." Cecil said.

"... And do you trust him?"

"I want to believe that I can trust him." He was growing uncomfortable, but was willing to tell everything to ease his friend's doubts. "I refuse to fight him, otherwise, I won't feel sure anymore of what am I gonna do with this war."

"It's okay to have doubts, Cecil. If he's your brother, then it must be hard to deal with it. I know how you feel." On one small moment, Terra saw the youth smile, but grieving at the same time.

It wasn't as if she could relate to that feeling of kinship, but somehow the girl knew how it felt like to be under their circumstances. Already knew a bit of Zidane's, but Cecil broke through her just now.

"... Thanks for your support, Zidane... Have you been doing well, Terra?"

"I'm still on my way." she answered rapidly, quietly brushed back her messy locks as she tried to hide her nervousness. Zidane then moved before the girl and looked at her face with interest.

"Terra, you usually take this time of the day to run somewhere else and look for your crystal on your own, don't you?"

"Uh..."

He smirked amicably. "It's okay, if you want to rest, we'll take care of your back." Then the thief looked back to check the whereabouts of the end of the rift's gate. "We'd better get going now. Bartz and the others might get cranky if we keep them waitin'."

The dark knight nodded. "Right. I apologize for the delay."

They followed the portal of darkness and purple, but before Cecil could pass, Terra behind him barely touched his shoulder to get his attention. She felt surprised that he even managed to feel it because of his cold armor.

"Cecil...?"

"You wish to ask me something?" he queried softly.

"... Do you think he is good, even if he's a warrior of Chaos?" Terra didn't want to be rude, that was the last she wished for the valiant warrior, but it was an urgency what she was facing in the matter. And Cecil's advice could be valuable for her situation with her teacher... and also concerning her own nature. But of course, what she only wanted to hear were words of relief and hope from an upright point of view.

"I... don't recall most of what happened, and I know that brother did awful things, but he deeply regrets them all. I know he does." the knight muttered calmly. "But being within Cosmos' files doesn't guarantee we're all clean of sin. Like Brother, some of us have a dark past, and crimes we wish to redeem... I was thinking... what if I was placed on the side of Chaos instead? What if my brother was in my place? It could be that... _there's a very thin line that separates us from the Chaos' Warriors._"

"Do you believe... there could be others like your brother?"

"I can't be sure of that. But... I'd like to hope there are." In that moment, the red mage felt as if Cecil smiled at her, so warmly that it filled her with comfort to the brim. "Is there anything that disturbs you?"

"... I was afraid, because I thought that... maybe I was on the wrong side." she confessed slowly. Somehow she knew that Cecil was the right man to trust.

"You needn't be afraid to tell, Terra. And... even if you were there to serve Chaos, I'm sure you would be like him, my brother. You are a sweet person, and you hold a pure soul. No matter your past mistakes, you are trying to follow your heart, and that's good enough for you to belong in here."

There was no uncertainty on Cecil's words, and his speech managed to pull her out of her little misery. Terra knew she had to learn from his many virtues.

But, then again, she had many other questions for the knight. "Then... why is you brother... still on side of Chaos?" For that, Cecil took his time to answer, crossing his arms deep in thought... of course, if he had his sibling on the other side, the complexity of the predictament weighted on his shoulders more than he showed.

"I believe he has his reasons. Maybe... it's much more convenient like that for him."

"Maybe, he's trying to protect you."

"Hm?"

"It's easier for him to protect you if he remains there, watching over... the other Chaos Warriors, I guess."

Terra didn't even realize how clever was her inferring of Cecil's anxiety, but she wasn't either that outspoken either, so it was a new experience for her.

"It makes sense if you put it that way. That's what got me worried in the first place." She heard Cecil's sad laugh. "I don't want to think he's seriously risking his life for my sake. Perhaps... he's jut as confused as me, as all of us."

The girl in red agreed with her comrade's point of view... though she secretly wasn't alluding to that brother Cecil so much cherished. Not strangely enough, the only person who occupied her mind was Kuja. Again she tried to convince herself of that helpless idea: that Kuja wasn't as evil as he tried to look.

* * *

><p>If Terra never found out about the Teleport Stones nearby the Order's Sanctuary, she'd never been able to reach again to the place she was supposed to meet Kuja again. As the same way she was forced to meet her friends back at even farther places from this point of the broken world, she had lesser opportunities to get again to see her previous party of friends. The Stone didn't transport her straight to the point of meeting, but close enough. Thus the place wasn't either far from the Land of Discord and it was dangerous to go alone... however, she never crossed paths with a manikin ever since the day she decided to become Kuja's pupil.<p>

The town in ruins they used as meeting point was nearby a beach, but the air never felt salty whatsoever, because the seas were dead. There wasn't salt nor waves, but it was just bland water without life of any kind. Terra thought this world was such a pitiful place to exist. Was there any purpose for this isolated land?

Suddenly, her ears were caressed by a sweet coil or sound from the gray afars, coming from the ruined town. It was a voice, evoking uknown gentle words, entwining to the nonexistant wind.

It was music.

Terra never heard something so beautiful, so wonderful... so happy and so sad at the same time. She believed the mysterious voice belonged to some sort of angelic being; the sound was very sweet and melodic, but there was a very cold and solemn tone residing upon lower notes... for a moment, Terra couldn't werether tell if the prodigious voice belonged to a man or a woman...

But it didn't took her long to notice that energetic presence. For a minute, Terra refused to believe it, but quickly realized it was all so obvious.

Who else could have such a passion for music like he had? She saw him sitting on the stone pillar with face to the sea, his thin pale pink lips synchronized with the harmonious melody. Definetaly was Kuja's voice.

But he stopped, turning his indigo gaze upon her. The silence felt like a devouring void as his voice stopped the enchanting tune. Kuja descended from his place quickly with grace, yet there was always something so decoying on his movements. As if he was acting the whole time.

"My, this is the first time you got me waiting, Terra dear."

"I'm sorry..." she shyly responded, then realized her face was red, her heart excited. "I didn't knew you could sing so well."

"I can't hear your applause, bird, if so much you liked to hear my voice." Obviously, he wanted to feel flattered. She'd just grant him that wish. But she had to be careful feeding his ego, because Kuja had tendency of talking about himself instead going straight to the point. However, Terra also had the blemish of filling with praise those who were admirable.

"I'm stunned. Your voice is really... beautiful. I didn't think that a man could sing like that."

"Of course I excell on musical perfomance, dear. And that's just one of my many talents as an artist." He shook his shoulders flattered and she noticed how carefully he stroke back those three silver feathers that fused within his hair of same color... Terra couldn't tell werether those were growing from his scalp or they sereved as his aesthetic appearance. "What our lessons lacked was an appealing score to motivate your dancing, not saying you've been doing bad so far."

Terra missed much of those words, being distracted again by the white mage's looks. "... The song was gorgeous... though I didn't understand what it says."

Kuja, slightly unamused, leaned his head to side, willing to answer his student's doubt. "I composed it, based on a lost lullaby from the world that witnessed my birth." Then his mouth slowly formed into a large disquieting smile. "Does my story intrigue you, my bird?"

But the girl knew there was something else he was hiding. If she pressed the right buttons, Kuja might give her all the information she wanted...

"Just... how many memories have you regained already? I barely manage to remember my name and some events of my past."

"Then... it seems you lived through this war for fewer cycles than myself."

"Cycles? What do you mean by that?"

"Don't you know? You Cosmos Warriors are sure blisfully ignorant." he chuckled cynically, as the look on his eyes darkened even more. "We've been marionettes of the same childish game that gods have recreated so many times... Tell me, my love, haven't you felt the tingling sensation of weariness? Aren't you exhausted without knowing your familiarity of such duels and violence?"

There was so much to handle inside those cruel lines, but Terra instantly got accustomed to sudden surprises like this one. The girl finally accepted the nature of this world, it seemed.

"I knew that I was tired of destroying... but I thought that it was only inside my past. Do you say that all those sensations are... from previous battles, like this one?"

"It's remotely impossible to remember events from past cycles, as far as I'm proven. But the feelings remain. The dirty scent of carnage still perfumes us. All of our blood from past wars."

"How... does it happen?"

"Even I can't tell for sure what happens that triggers a new cycle of war. Maybe it is that one of the Gods must lose with all warriors fallen on their side. Then, all the memories from the cycle are consumed, in spite of reviving those with enough strength to carry out." Terra tried to imagine it, that for those words Kuja felt just as sad as she did. "But not everything is lost. There more cycles we lived through, the more memories of our worlds we might get back. That explains in a way how I've got more of my memories than you in this moment."

"... So, all of our experience is erased each time we die in a war." the girl whispered, lost in her gloom thoughts. "It must mean that... I have died. And you too."

Everything became so quiet after what she said. Terra's statement seemed to affect Kuja more than he wanted to admit with his look. He was evidently daunted by that truth he uncounciously revealed to himself. They could both have died a number of times before, and it was hard to accept it.

Terra reasoned that death was a scary subject, even someone like Kuja would be afraid of death.

"Enough of this sullen chat. Haven't you came here to continue your lessons?"

"Right, I'm sorry."

"Last time you almost managed to cast a perfect exemplary of the Tornado spell."

"Yes, you were right about my body's moves. Magic's flow is guided by my body's movements." If he kept her mind occupied, at least he did it to focus her out of the pain. "Thanks to you, I could understand that. I don't longer need to be a stiff soldier to cast spells."

"And you are a fast learner, Terra. Your brilliance can only be compared to mine."

His eyes were suddenly gleaming with great pride. Kuja surely knew how to keep himself up without fearing the opinion of others.

"Seems you have a very high self-steem, Kuja." the girl commented, loud as a mouse. "In that aspect, I'm jealous about you."

"Holding talents and beauty like mine, I can hardly grant my character to be humble in any way. I can't be afraid of loving myself this much. And you should try as well."

But his last words weren't as comforting. "_Love_?" Terra held both her hands and melancholically leaned her stare to the ground. "Being comfortable with yourself is a way of _love_ too?"

"What a question, my bird. _Of course it is_. And it's _the only real love_ you'll ever find in your short life."

"But... isn't it lonely too? Only having yourself to be loved by?"

"Hmph, you detest being alone, don't you?" His smirk twisted in a rather dismaying way, making the red doll back away her steps. "Do you feel helpless? You wish to be surrounded by people? You're expecting them to care about you everytime?" But Kuja's footsteps started to stalk her impedingly, making her feel endangered. "Do you wish to feel protected?"

"... Maybe. I can't always be on my own. Even when I know how to fight alone." she managed to answer without quivering. "And what about you? Why do you think that being alone is better? Don't you have any friends to count with?"

That question alone transformed Kuja's usually elegant and calm face into an irksome visage of regret and anger. His countenance was a split of terrying beauty, could only belong to an enraged angel. Terra began to feel true fear to her teacher. "Why should I need such a petty thing as _friends_?" he spitted leering with heartlessness. "I'm perfectly fine on my own. _I'm not weak_,_ I'm not helpless_."

"... How can you say that?" The girl was angered too. Just how insensitive could he really be? Terra lost grip of her common sense and stepped face to face with him; she wished to gaze his eyes to tell apart the truth from the lies. "Even when you've been tricking me all this time, I started to think you just wanted... a friend. You wouldn't bother this much to help me if you didn't want..."

"Want what, exactly? Hmm?" Kuja never felt intimidated, by virtue of the girl not being capable of hurting him. "Do you have it all figured out already, my girl?"

"I..." They were both naked now, all secret planning gone. But Terra wasn't going to stop there now, for she needed to dive to the deepest of him. "...All you have is yourself? What do you need me for then?... Maybe you're not entirely safe on your own!" she yelped, and for an instant... the man in white robe took one step behind. "That's why you needed to get me on your side, isn't it?"

"My, you've a quite imagination, don't you think, lovebird?"

All he had was denial, and his black soul couldn't be uncovered with her grimace attitude. "... Stop fooling around." she whispered softly, in hope of chilling down Kuja's demeanor. "We both know what's happening here. So please, you don't have to be pretending anymore."

They looked into each other's eyes for relentless seconds of silence. "Certainly, you turned out to be smarter than I thought you'd be." Kuja said, seemingly. "Now, all my hard work has been in vain."

"Kuja..."

"Now, the only thing I've got left to do is to take you by brutal force."

After hearing that last statement, her eyes widened at the violent light which threatened her side. As a reflex she jumped back as far a she could and some beam of white orbs surrounded her like a ring. They burned. Terra quickly casted Shell to protect her from further damage. Kuja glided over her, his long white sleeves hid a brilliant flare almost black that was about to break her protective spell.

She moved as fast as she could and floated with her own magic, escaping from what could have been a deadly blow.

Below her, Kuja brushed his silver mane elegantly with one tide of his hand, and led himself to bow half his body in a cordial greeting. "Let us dance, my lady."

Her heart was beating too fast right now, and Kuja was being serious. What she wanted the least was to fight him to death like he implied in this moment.

"Please, stop." she shook her head, her voice on the rim of breaking down. "I don't want to fight you!"

Kuja acted as if he didn't listen and conjured several white orbs of Holy, seemingly his predilect element, he sneered at her ruthlessly.

"You'd better show me if you haven't wasted your time with me."

Again, he fired at the girl mercilessly, and she managed to avoid most of them. All she ever did was to glide, not losing sight of him. "No! Please stop!" He was going to use Flare again, so she was forced to counterattack with her own offensive spells if she wished to stop the impact. "I want to end this!" She summoned a meteor rain, but it barely managed to block the fierce flare.

Suddenly, Kuja was nowhere to be seen. She was high above in the air, she could see all the isolated town from up here, but there was no trace of the other mage.

She heard a faint breath close behind her. "Not good enough, Terra. My patience is growing weaker with your hesitation!" Terra turned back to face another fast attack of Kuja's fire balls, she blocked them with her hands just in time, so it reflected back to him. Although Kuja got hit by his own spell, he recovered fastly in the air freezing the force that pushed him away, laughing with allure. "Not bad."

The girl had enough. "Kuja! Do you think that fighting will erase what you truly feel? Will you solve your loneliness if you destroy me?" Only with words she wouldn't be able to reach out for him... at least she hoped to awaken on him some sense on his actions.

"Oh, please, don't lecture me while I'm trying to burn you down!" he replied with a fleet blast of Holy that began to grow into a little sun of white. "You can't say you aren't enjoying our little dance!"

The gleaming star Kuja created started to attract her body into its, and it kept on coming towards her and she couldn't get away. "I can't!" Terra, in a desperate attempt to terminate his overwhelming spell, she spinned in the air and invoked heavy ice of Blizzard to at least deflect the impact.

She wasn't lucky.

The huge wave of Holy energy reached her and crashed against her body in a scintillating explosion that instantly blinded her. She cried out with the pain and lost her balance in the air, so Terra fell muddled by the burning ache.

Suddenly, before she could feel the harsh tumble into the stone, Terra felt a strong grasp that clutched her left wrist just in time, so she felt the painful weight of her body being supported by her seized arm.

"My, perhaps I was too rough with you?"

Kuja gently let her lay down to the ground, allowing her to recover her breath and lose her dazzle she took from his own attack. Terra regained her sight slowly; she groaned feeling her head pound crazily. As her eyes got back most of their focus, she noticed in front of her the shade of one slim hand of long purple nails being outstretched for her.

"I haven't hurt you too much, have I?" Kuja asked, apparently not worried at all.

"... Why?" she dryly muttered.

"I don't have the eager intention of breaking the wings of my little bird in the middle of her lesson." he chuckled, but Terra didn't find it funny at all. She tossed his hand aside and abruptly got up from the dusty ground, looking at him with great disbelief.

No. It was_ ire_.

"..._ You big dumb MEANIE_!"

Her head felt hot. Terra couldn't remember at least one time she yelled like that to another person. She was so mad that she could lose control over her tightened fist and launch it to crash against Kuja's pretty face. But the girl wouldn't do it; it took her a lot of will to stop herself from punching him.

"I apologize, but I truly intended to give you a quite fright." Kuja laughed untroubled. "Though I wasn't expecting such... an interesting display of emotions."

"And what were you expecting? All I wanted was to talk and you attacked me out of nowhere!" The girl was almost shuddering because of her anger, and she couldn't understand how Kuja remained so sardonic after all. Wrath succumbed to sadness. Not only felt betrayed, but she even pitied the other mage for such a fake and blurred soul he wore.

Kuja wasn't just hiding something. He was hiding himself. Or maybe he couldn't be completely honest even when he tried; or that's what Terra wanted to think, to justify him. The red mage saw something in him, felt for him, as if a piece of the broken puzzle of her life was being held captive inside Kuja... There was a bond, like the long forgotten link forged with an old friend.

"Until a few minutes ago I thought that I could truly try to see inside your heart. Then, you killed your heart. Now, I can't understand what's wrong with you."

"There's nothing in here that needs to be understood, girl." he answered, growing a bit annoyed by her behavior. "All you're asked to do is observation and none else. If my beloved antics are too much for you to bear, then you should stop seeing me as teacher and flame me as your enemy."

"It's not so simple." she insisted. "I... want to understand you."

The white mage languidly smirked placing elegantly his index finger under his lower lip. "Am I that fascinating for you?" However she tried to don't put much attention on his charming nature.

"... If you put it like that, then yes." she simply answered. "And you taught me so much... I still have to keep my promise."

"Is that so? Hmm... Even if I were to betray your trust and maybe to convert you into my doll of destruction? But of course, as you implied earlier, you are already aware of this whole cruel scheme."

"Even while you're still playing your games, yes, I can bear that."

"It's a dangerous game you are playing here, my bird."

"And you too. I don't believe that you allies know about this either... they wouldn't aprove it, would they?" As soon as she touched the matter, Kuja frowned unpleased.

"First of all: None of those rabid animals are worthy of the name 'ally'. Second: I shall work and come victorious under my own terms."

'_Under his own terms? Does he mean... all of this?_'

"... What is your purpose, Kuja?" the girl asked, wearing a strong lively fear in her eyes. "Will you... fight Zidane?"

"I'll kill Zidane." In that moment, her pulse froze and evaded visual contact with him, not daring to see tha darkness laid out. A forceful malevolence lived inside his voice as he pronounced Zidane's name. "And you, my girl, now you won't help me get there."

"Is that what were you trying to drive me into?" she asked, her gaze still out of that darkness. "I see."

"How strange."

"What, among all?"

"You haven't turned your back and runned away." Kuja advanced a few steps, but she only focused her timid eyes on his pointy iron boots. "Even though I menace your little... _friend_'s life. Perhaps do you prefer me over him?"

But, if she wished to end all of this, she needed to be brave enough to face those dreadful shadows; Kuja was so full of them.

"I... only want to find what you're searching for. _I want to help you_. And I want you to keep teaching me."

It seemed as if she signed her final sentence. "Sounds fine for me. I'd love to see what you're hiding under you sleeves too." The indigo eyes pierced through hers, the array of his incomplete enmity. "Let's see... when will you take out the knife to stab my unwatched back?"

But Terra was fighting so hard to don't look at him in the eyes, fearing of losing herself inside the violent shaky oceans of his disturbed spirit. Then closed her eyelids, allowing the terror to go down, instead of letting it take over as most of time.

"... It's sad." the girl replied entwining her fingers together in between. "That you trust so little on the others. But I can't blame you, even now."

Thereupon, the magic maiden felt the subtle touch of tender digits under her chin, compeling her to lift her face up, so she opened her heavy eyelids. The long pale face of his was staring straight to her with fake fearsome sweetness. His fingers were warm, but his face looked so cold and ominous.

"You'll soon witness, my bird, of what true betrayal consists. And then, you won't ever come near me again unless I will it so."

Without any further, he departed and disappeared like an spectre. There was a somewhat bitter flavor inside her mouth, conscious that she was left again with many of her questions unanswered and plus a grave topic to think about.

Kuja always acted strangely because he was weird. But today... he showed a most mysterious façade than usual. He showed vulnerability.

'_You just... don't want me to leave you alone, do you?_'

* * *

><p>On farther lonely lands, the smallest warrior forced his way on the long desertic battlefields. There was no wind to guide, the moon and the sun remained frozen always, so it was hard to tell where was the east and west. The Onion Knight usually followed his sole instincts and memory to mark his path through the new strange world, but right now motivation was the only thing he had to keep walking.<p>

Find the girl, the forever sweet Terra. Not like he thought of her as defenseless or weak; he knew from the past bruises and cuts just how strong she really was. What kept the child restless was the constant menace of psychos who wanted to chase her and unplug her brains out. He still feared about the intentions of that clown-man who attacked them back then... It was obvious he knew how to disrupt her mind, and badly.

On his way, he was somewhat fortunate he crossed ways with another comrade. Squall Leonheart, was it? He indeed looked like a mad lion now. He seemed like he fought many manikins recently. His hair was all messed up.

"Squall? Any luck with your crystal?"

"... Not at all." he answered unamused. But after not saying anything at all to the eager boy, Squall finally spoke, as if he remembered something relevant. "But I found Terra a while ago."

"Did you? Geez, it keeps on getting harder to find her everytime—"

"And I guess she's got a good reason for that."

"... What do you mean?"

It was hard to tell Squall's mood, for he always looked serious and stiff, so Onion didn't say it coming at all.

"I watched her talking to a Warrior of Chaos." With this, the boy glared at him enraged, not giving chance to second thoughts.

"And you didn't do anything? What if she got hurt?" he yelped, the little knight was completely indignant of the teenager's uncaring eyes.

"She seemed fine. And the other guy wasn't fighting her..." he continued to explain. "He was the same guy who was after Zidane and tried to kidnap me."

"So? What's your point?"

"I think she's been meeting him for a while now. I don't know."

Those indifferent words were more than enough to shake the little man's world. He gritted his teeth while he stared defiantly at the taller warrior holding his gunblade carelessly over his shoulder.

"I can't believe you, Squall... Terra would never betray us. She's nice and... there's no way that she... I won't swallow that rock."

"Believe what you want. I know what I saw. And... from now and on, I'm sticking with the other guys." he said calmly, as if he tried to don't sound too cold. Squall, however, wasn't so good at being honest with his feelings, either making people feel less uncomfortable. Like now.

"Don't tell me your sudden change of mind is because of what you said." Onion hissed, still disturbed.

"If you don't believe me, that's fine. But you can go noreast and find those ruins to see something interesting on the way." He also pointed out the way, towards the now distant beach Onion haven't passed through ever since last day. There was nothing there but ruins of an imaginary town, and Onion always thought he'd find her inside Gateways, in search of her nemesis and her crystal... and what Squall said made sense; could explain how didn't he find her right away.

Squall was heading up again to his route, but Onion stood still, thinking about the chances of finding his dear friend Terra out there, with that Warrior of Chaos.

"... I don't believe this." he muttered to himself. "I need to speak with Terra. Surely everything will be fine..." Could hardly convince himself of his own words now.

Terra was out there, hanging out with the enemy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I always thought that Kuja, being so centered and passionate to arts and music would also be able to sing and not only to dance. But it's kinda hard to imagine how his singing voice would sound like. Must be that awesome. If someone wishes to share a song about how he'd sound like, I'd be happy to hear it.**

**Also one friend discussed with me a highly plausible theory about Kuja being an eunuch (to possibly explain each physical aspect of his appearance), but let's not talk about that. What the heck did I just write. I totally fail to write some nice tension between Kuja and Terra. Hope you're not overwhelmed by my absolute lack of skill.**

**btw, the title of the chapter is not reference to FFVII's fictional novel. but I'm tending to use MLP references even more often. Curse me.**


	6. Dreams of Nothingness

**Warning: TENSION, almost sexual. **

* * *

><p><strong>VI. Dreams of Nothingness.<strong>

When he entered back to the Old Chaos Shrine again on his own, he witnessed with silent horror what was the jester doing to the youngest one of the group. His colorless cruel hands held still the youth's head as some gleaming threads seemed to circulate from his head to Kefka's fingers. The Emperor, Ultimecia, Garland, Exdeath and the Cloud of Darkness were watching the process too. What terrified him the most was Kuja's blank stare, as if he wasn't even aware of what was happening. He was put into some sort of trance.

Golbez knew from the beginning that something was going on between Kuja and Kefka ever since the new cycle of war started... but he didn't predict such a dark frame developing under his own nose. He never saw the young capricious white mage as a victim. Until now.

The other warriors were mumbling to each other, and he'd be indeed just a nosy intruder if he just passed in between to see what were they up to.

Garland's grave voice replied to Ultimecia's statement. "... He hasn't joined the Cosmos Warriors, then. On the contrary, he tried to get that girl from Cosmos' to our side."

"Most likely _his_ side. Kuja under his free will has proven to be unworthy of trust." said Emperor Mateus with stern amber look. "We don't know what'd he do with the girl once she's under his control."

However, the mage jester was still grinning wide, and it wasn't his painted violet smile. "You don't look as worried, Kefka. Has something _important_ crossed into your mind?"

"_Uwee-hee-he-he_! Don't you realize? If Kujie-coo puts my little girl to his command, I'm again in charge of the game!" he squealed, holding still the undisturbed youth's head. His eyes were shining as much as a little kid on his birthday. "It's a big _bye-bye_ to the Cosmos' numbskulls!"

"Kefka... now, what part of _let the warriors get their crystals_ you didn't get at all?"

"Oh, you don't worry about that!" he spitted back to the Emperor. "We'll just finish off their fun, give them what they want... and in the end, when this kitty fullfills his purpose, I'll take care of little Terra for him!" then his pale white fingers seemed to bury forcefully further into the precious silver mane, and loomed his taunting simper close to Kuja's ear. "Heard that, _sassypants_? YOU GO TO GARBAGE!"

The distant Golbez tried to look away out of disgust, but an inner feeling kept him from staring other place. The normally arrogant whelp was now lying helpless and used by the madman, its sight was rather woeful and made the thaumaturge sick inside. Couldn't vanish from his memory the look of Kuja's lifeless eyes.

"... And then someone among us will take care of that boy, Zidane." said the Time Witch lifting her purple claw dangeroursly near the pale young man's throat. But Kefka immediately shooed her away, and, in a strangest manner hugged the white mage's shoulders and rubbed his emotionless face to his white painted cheek.

"Told ya to get your own doll to play with." Kefka grunted annoyingly to the lethal sorceress, and indeed, with his effeminate undisturbed features of porcelain, Kuja looked like a doll more than anything. "Nobody will move a finger to kill that brat. The girl, once she's under my spell again, she'll vanish each one of her beloved friends, _uwee-hee-he-he_!"

At one moment, the warlock felt as if the warriors below noticed him, so, he tried to act naturally, meeting the femenine entity called Cloud of Darkness, somehow hoping that he wouldn't look like a spy or else. The morbidly gleaming eyes of tha woman-shaped wraith stared with menacing curiosity along those tentacles that each seemed to have will on their own; but instantly turned back to the joker's toy.

"And that'll be AFTER Cosmos perishes. Do not forget it." Mateus concluded to Kefka, advicing him to don't abuse his short-span control over the young man.

Even Golbez knew, the overuse of an unstable mental spell had severe consequences, most of them were just perjudicial to the subject's mental welfare.

* * *

><p>Couldn't tell, how in heavens he woke-up with such an agressive headache today, and got knowledge through the voices of the other warriors.<p>

One truth, so painfully bearable that he silently choked underneath his teeth an unlikely roar against it. He felt tinier than ever, feeling all his efforts slowly becoming dust on his hands.

They all knew, if Golbez didn't tell them, they must have figured it out on their own ways, that he interacted and educated the main female of Cosmos' lines, and they conveniently trusted his plans of making of Terra his most valuable ally. And they waited for this moment to ruin every hope he had.

Cosmos was delivering her last gift to her loyal soldiers, for her fated death awaited after their_ success_.

This was going to be the last cycle of battling they would face, and it would be turned into favor of Chaos. That would mean that they would not only be allowed to return to their respective worlds, but they would also be able to determinate the destiny for their foes. All the warriors who fought for Cosmos would perish once for all.

Including her.

The thought quite disrupted inside his head. He really wanted to finish Zidane at once, and he longed for the conflict to meet an end... but that would mean... he would never be marvelled by her beauty again, he would never watch her pale locks again, nor he'd ever again see himself reflected inside the purple ponds of her eyes. He'd forget about her face, about her voice.

'_Am I already yearning for my sweet maiden, though the end is yet to come? What has this unconscious temptress finally captivated my heart of stone?_' The man then looked at himself, his own body and grumbled unamused. '_No, who am I deluding? I've mentally built a temptress out of my chastity. Her purity converted me into a lustful hypocrite._'

Always, whenever he was close enough, Kuja didn't waste time for admiring her beautiful curvy shape, unable to remember else but the nude splendorous figure of the beasty side of the magical girl, the feral fear on her eyes and the warmth that nearly killed him. _O, how fast his heart pulsed on that fleeting moment_.

And then he met the_ other_ Terra, that sweet thoughtful yet ignorant child that drove him even madder than the beast. It wasn't quite different from the lust, but he knew that it wasn't like something he ever experienced before. It was even beyond desire, and he _truly knew_ desire.

'_Did I... grew fond of this girl? Makes sense. My craving doesn't just lie on her potential, but also in her grace, and her mind... Maybe, this is what they all call Love._'

It was far more simple than he thought. He was in love with the girl. That's why he didn't want her to disappear.

Once she finished her utility, then there wouldn't be any more reasons to keep her alive... would it? _Terra would be destroyed_.

'_Destroy..._'

A sharp pain tore within his head, so the mage grunted silently, placing his forehead against the cold stone, perhaps to help lessen the hotness that hazed his mind. When would these heaches cease? They truly took the best of his judgment whenever they came, and sometimes they lasted for hours. It felt like he had clefts opening within his skull.

"Are you feeling okay? If you aren't, then we just can skip this lesson..."

That's right, he was again with her, in the middle of an important session of erudition. He suddenly stopped talking and left her wondering why was he resting his head against a wall. It was almost as if he forgot the girl was there with him.

"Everything is alright, dear bird. Is it habit of yours to worry for others this much?" he chuckled, still reposing.

Terra approached, and he felt as if she stretched her hand to touch his shoulder, but she stopped. "It's called _kindness_, and I don't mind doing it. After all, we are all capable of doing something nice for others." Only made the androgynous mage giggle more. "_Even you_, Kuja."

"_Cruelty_, it sometimes gets you farther than kindness; and that's the truest rule that reigns each world that exists."

"I don't care." she responded. Such tranquility made him upset. He somehow expected her to urgently deny his claim.

"Doesn't bother you to crawl over the path of thorns with a warm resolve and in the end get nothing in return?" he asked, turning his aloof gaze back to her. Her face was shimmering, as if light only illuminated her alone. "Do you believe yourself strong enough to carry on that way?"

"I don't need to be strong to be kind." Terra replied, her voice growing hale. "I don't even need a reason or a reward to be kind. I just do it because I feel that's the right thing to do." Something on those words made him stiffen with anguish, breeding loathe from the inside, disgust. "Besides, I've got friends who always show me the way."

"You depend on your friends because you're weak." he rebutted sconrfully.

Terra, on the other hand, she never quivered for Kuja's allegation, in fact, she seemed more resolute than ever. "_Of course I'm weak_, and that's the reason why do I keep on fighting, that's why I can't give up just yet. If we are weak, then we need to work harder to overcome the hardships, and if we were strong from the beginning, then I doubt we'd even bother to work harder."

Kuja heard something crack behind his head, but he completely ignored it. The only thing he wanted to do was to stare dimly to the blonde girl. He hid his hands very well beneath his sleeves, he didn't want her to see how they were shaking.

"... But for what do you fight for?" he simply queried. And the red mage slowly advanced towards him, fearless.

"I want to fight for the sake of everyone I care for. I want... to help them build their future." she sweetly said, her eyes were suddenly so big.

"Regardless you sacrifice your own?"

"I share my dream with them, and I will find my own on the way. By now I just fight to gain the power to protect everyone." And she closed her eyelids and pulled away, losing some of the shine that some seconds ago brightened her face. "It scares me to think that I probably won't make it, but I have things worth living for, and that alone gives me the courage to keep on going."

The thespian gathered the strength to move his heavy feet and walk past her side, leaping to the ground on one swift motion. He didn't say anything. Couldn't. Not after realizing how vibrant was her soul with such a great resolve.

The girl was now out of his reach, and unless he decided to put a spell on her, she'd never consent any order to kill cold-blooded. And that was precisely the reason why did he went through so many trials for her. That was why_ he even bothered_ to strive for her loyalty and affection. It was a lost case, nevertheless.

Kuja leaned his shoulder against a pillar of the ruins, and the girl from behind watched silently. But it would humilliate him even more if she ever felt sympathy for his lying figure.

"Do you have something worth fighting for, Kuja?" she asked, nearing to the silver epicene man. He could hardly turn his head back to look at her eyes; his glimpse would be hateful. He muttered the pure hatred pooling from his very heart.

"Zidane's bloody head on a silver plate."

She glanced down, expressing wordlessly her grief for him. "... What did he do to you so you hate him that much?"

That question was about to burst his nerves; the girl was daring him to question the veracity of his motives again. It was all clear now. She was on Zidane's side,_ she was always on the little bastard's side!_

"So?"

The rage, so immense it was burning. He was on fire. The mere thought of Zidane made him go mad with odium to the point of aching him to the spine, choking him in the fatal tantrum. Then realized that he couldn't breathe.

But there was Terra in front of him, he needed to answer and murder her hopes. "... I don't...!" His sight went all blurry. "He..." All he could think about was the burning image of the thief's eyes, smirking upon him, invoking noxious mindless fury. But he couldn't rise his voice, he was suffocating on the heat. Again the sensation of sickness was taking over him.

He felt a sultry chipped ring enclosing painfully around his brain.

For one second he went blank, and then he realized he was dangerously close to the girl, but after regaining fully awareness of his own position, his legs were completely loosen and his shoulders were being held by Terra's hands, stopping him from falling to the ground. And her face invaded by grave concern.

She was touching him again. They were really close, just like the first time they met, so close he could smell the sweetness of her scent.

"Kuja! What's the matter with you? Kuja!" It took him several seconds to respond. He could always just pretend to fall asleep and let his weight over her... but well, that'd be inappropiate. Besides, his pride wouldn't let him do such a thing to a lady. Kuja took the girl's wrist and used her support to recover his posture. "You scared me." she muttered._ Did she just sound relieved?_

The white mage could feel her uncomformtable in this proximity, since he was on a higher level than she was standing, she had her head placed under his chin, so he could feel her warm breath against his neck.

"Why don't we talk about something else, darling? My little world goes so bleary when we talk about gloom." he laughed, letting go of her wrist. Terra rapidly parted from him, seemingly edgy from that short contact.

"You aren't in condition of teaching me today. You must rest." adviced softly, trying her best to relax after that.

"I'm alright." he hissed, annoyed. He held his head high and proud. He wouldn't go even lower in just one day to be accepting the care of this girl.

"Please don't try to act tough. You can't even walk straight and you almost fainted—"

He widened his eyes and yelped vexed. "I SAID THAT I'M ALRIGHT, WOMAN!"

And then, Terra frowned.

"And I say you're not!" Out of warning, she pushed him with great force, making Kuja fall to the ground on his bottom. Kuja, completely astounded looked up at the clearly angered maiden. "So take a sit and rest, please!"

He stayed quiet for some seconds as he tried to find a more comfortable seating position as far as his outfit allowed him to. The white mage lifted his long robe to don't step on it as he dragged himself against another pillar, to sit more comfortably as Terra watched. They gazed each other silently, exchanging voiceless insults, because Terra adquired a momentary imperious role over him, like an strict mother who arrested her child from a risky game.

He ticked her off with his naughty behavior, hence she had all the right to get mad at him. But there was her loving-way; she had to scold him, because she _cared_ for him, so he allowed her to do so, for he _loved_ her.

So Kuja chuckled bitterly. "This is just what I needed, first the headaches, now my own student tells off my weaknesses. This day has just gone brilliant." hissed cynically.

The girl observed him with strange look on her eyes leaning her head as if she was seeing something particular on his figure. He just made a buzz sort of sound to tell her to move her stare other place. But instead, Terra moved onwards his place, and carefully sat beside him, of course, taking care of the distance they needed to have.

_The day just kept on going more and more weird. _

She suited herself on the ground, embracing her knees against her chest, not stopping from looking at him shyly. And Kuja, naturally, admired her shifting body in silence, not helping but to grow uncomfortable by seeing her cute sashes and rosy tights getting dirty by the ground's dust.

After agonizing seconds, she finally spoke. "I'm sorry, are you hurt?" asked with her voice muffled with bashfulness.

"Don't you mock me now, Terra love. I'm not currently on my fittest mood."

"I wasn't mocking you, but I was afraid of pushing you too harshly to the ground." she explained arching her thin eyebrows. Rapidly looked down out of the corner of her eye, then slightly bit her lower lip. "Did I messed up your skirt?" That question almost managed to make him crack up in laughter.

"... It's truly a virtue that you care about details. What a sweet girl."

Nervously, she astrayed her gaze, and a droll blush painted her cheeks. "You know what? On the beginning I thought your clothes were a little weird, but as I got used to meet you, I began to understand that they look good on you."

"You are lying, Terra. You loathe my vagary attire; I know you do." replied amused as he rested his face softly against his hand. "You are just trying to earn my esteem through fake compliments, aren't you? Heh, quite strange switch of roles, don't you think? A gentleman should be the one to flatter a lady's garments and not the other way around."

"I-I like your boots... And also you hair!" she fastly answered. Perhaps she tried too hard to make him feel better. "It's the truth! You have a beautiful silver long hair!"

Kuja, in response, curled his long fingers on his wavy mane. "... I can assure you I'm not the only one with long silver hair in this world, unfortunately." He was smiling mischievously to her, maybe daring her.

"Alright, you have the most beautiful long silver hair in the world."

"That's more like it."

His eyes caught up with something magical arising on her delicate round face, twisting the corners of her rosy lips.

"I can't believe how narcissistic you are, Kuja." she grinned softly; acceptance of joy.

"You smiled." Kuja whispered captivated by such beauty.

"What? Did I? I didn't notice." Surprinsingly enough, she didn't reverted the metamorphosis. The sound she made was something most angels wouldn't achieve in an eternity.

"And you can laugh too." he observed, and captured the image of her pink cheeks and humble smile as she inclined her eyes down. "I was beginning to doubt you were capable of doing it. Now, that's the most beautiful thing I've seen in the world."

"Do you... really think so?"

"Haven't you ever got compliments about your appearance?" he asked, not shocked at all. "The sight rate of your companions must be so lame."

She shook her head quickly. "But they treat me all right. Although sometimes it's a little uncomfortable how they behave around me, just because I'm a girl."

"Each pretty girl gets a special treatment, however you like it or not. Don't try to conceive it as something bad, but take it as an useful advantage for yourself."

"Is it?" she leaned her head to the side, wearing curiosity on her eyes. "Then, is that why you dress like that?"

It took a while for his mind to process.

"... _Touché_."

And she laughed again, a little less retiring than before. "I think you are right... but I just don't want that. It'd make feel bad if I used my traits to take advantage of them. Doesn't feel like the right thing to do."

"This might be only my own saying, but if you have a pretty face, then exploit it or it's just gonna go to waste. Many people spend their entire lives trying to look beautiful without success."

"Is physical beauty that important for you?" she tensed her arms around her knees without taking her eyes off him. "What makes you think that all the beauty from a person is on their faces? I think that inner beauty is also valuable."

"_Inner beauty_, you say? Have you ever sliced open a person's body to see it by yourself, then?"

The last joke made her drop down her newly acquainted smile. "What?"

"Nevermind." he sighed. "Dark humor doesn't quite suit you, anyway."

"Huh... It's okay. I guess that's just the way you like to think. I can't change that."

After that, they strayed on a dark silence. Terra would casually avert her eyes to look at him—_or certain parts of his body, he noticed_—and then pull back nervously. Why couldn't they hold up a nice talk without fouling it up? Was it _his_ fault for being so evil?

He heard Terra sigh and clear her voice. She'd take the lead on the conversation again.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yes, you can, darling bird."

"But you can't tell about this to anyone; is that clear?"

"What makes you think I've got someone to tell in the matter, love? If you wish to say it, don't hold it back."

"Okay." she slightly shifted to sit on a more proper way, to keep the heel of her boots out of her skirt. "I think I had a dream about you. Two dreams, in fact." Terra explained. "I was afraid of telling them to my friends, because I knew they'd freak out."

Kuja just snorted at the thought, not expecting to hear those things. "Now you dream about me? Can't tell werether I feel flattered or disturbed, my bird. Do I look dazzling in your dreams?" Again, he couldn't content his laughter. Was he now taking part of her personal fantasies? Terra's little box of surprises just kept on getting more interesting.

"... I don't know. Can't I just tell you of what I dreamt?"

"Of course, my dear. Delight me with your youthful dreams about me."

"...The first dream was really dark and clouded, I couldn't think, I couldn't even tell if my eyes were open or closed... everything was cold and lonely, so _I stopped trying_." Her dim purple eyes were dark at this part of the tale. "But then, suddenly a slender hand tears through the darkness, and makes it all go away."

"And... how did you know it was me, may I ask? Your narrative isn't being clear enough."

"Now that you say it, I don't know... but I'm somehow sure it was you."

"Some girl you are..." the mage mumbled, rubbing his face with his tired palm. "And what do you have to tell me about the second dream? Don't tell me I was your prince charming on a white dragon, because you aren't that much poetical."

The girl just shook her shoulders and rested her head against her left shoulder, growing distant from Kuja. "I dreamed that I was out of control again." she whispered almost breathless. "And you were beneath me, pale, your eyes closed and my nails digging unto your neck..."

Those details startled him, developing with an alarming lucidity inside his head. And the girl, even if just to some extent, was trembling.

"... Was I dead on yor dreams?"

"I don't know." answered, her voice was almost a ghostly whistle. "But... I felt so overwhelmed, like I was going to die. I just..." The spellcaster, unwarning, broke the distance in between him and the fragile creature, and interrogated her with his restless blue obrs.

"Did you kill me?" asked, becoming desperate, expecting to find that blood-thirst sleeping in her eyes. Wouldn't feel safe if he found it in her. "In your dream, did you rejoiced on striking me down? Have you thought pleasantly of seeing my body lying on a pool of my own blood?"

However, she kept on averting the eye-contact. "I couldn't. I just... didn't want to, and I started to cry." answered, almost forcibly; and she was visibly scared of his sudden change of heart. Kuja would even admit he scared himself once in a while.

"But dear, you can't even cry. Our eyes are uncapable of breeding tears. Not even crocodile tears." he replied contemptously.

"Not even monster tears." she added.

"And is that how your dream ends?"

"... Yes."

"The more I get to know you, the less I am sure if I am endangered at your side." Kuja parted away from her, finally managing to stand up on his own feet. "You are probably more stabble than you seem to be. But you're still a hazardous task for me."

When he walked across the stone pieces of the dead ruins and sat on a more bit block of carved rock, he realized something terribly wrong was happening to his mind. And still didn't figure out what exactly was it. He looked down at his loving dolly who remained sitting on the ground, staring at him calmly. Obviously, it wasn't coincidence that she thought there was something wrong with him too.

"Let's change subject. I'm growing tired of this dramatic tension. Go, ask something silly, as I know you do so well." he said, lifting that weight off his shoulders, trying to pick up some enthusiasm.

"Hum... Alright." she nodded, not understanding at all how fastly he changed his mood. But again, that impish innocent gawk spent too long on his legs, which Kuja often considered as rude. Terra bited her lips and decided her new question. "Do you also have a tail?"

Kuja twitched. Among_ all possible questions in the universe, the girl had to pick the most unpleasant of all._ "... My, what makes you think that I have such a thing underneath my robe?"

"Oh, nothing..." she replied, unaware of his abashment. "It's just that... he said you once lived in the same world, and... _your faces are so much alike_." Then, the distress tranformed into anger again. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of _that one_!

"And what else did he tell you?" he darkly asked. Of course the red mage discerned on his sudden acrimony.

"Look, Kuja. I know it doesn't concern me what happens between you and Zidane, but please, you have to reconsider. He doesn't even want to fight you. And you, though you're always roaring about how much you hate him... you don't really have the courage to do it by yourself." Terra finally stood up, to meet the height upon his stubborn stare. "That's why you needed me."

"Enough." hissed in discontent. "I don't need you to kill my prey for me, thank you so much."

"Of course I don't. I believe you capable of doing so." Terra wasn't daring him, not even trying to anger him more, but actually wanted to talk some sense into her fellow mage. "It's just that you don't truly wish to do it, isn't it?"

"I said it's enough!" Kuja bellowed, standing against her, almost aggressively. "_You don't know who I am, you don't even know who are you!_ So in what position you are to say what my feelings are?"

"... You're right." Then she stepped back, discouraged. He shot her where it hurted her the most. "What am I if I can't understand you at all?"

"Why would you want to understand someone like me?" queried, growing colder, crueller. "Heh, when did this innocent curiousity became your little quest to unveil the real me? From fascination you fell downwards to obssession."

"You are getting it wrong again. But... if you put it that way then I want to know_ the real you_!"

The actor smirked viciously while arching haughtily one of his eyebrows. "You do?" So he came closer, stealing her personal space and Terra walked backwards, probably becoming more afraid of his threatening antics. "Then... _I'll show you mine if you show me yours first_, angel."

There was a little drop of sweat running down her face as she found herself cornered by his terrifying presence. "I..." She found no words to answer.

"See? That's what I'm talking about! _How do you expect to relate to me_, to speak sincerely with me, to understand my mind, to walk in my shoes... _when you can't even understand the kind of person you are?_"

Terra was fully out of words. She couldn't even try to talk to him about the matter if she hadn't something to support her. It wasn't her right. Kuja knew she couldn't help him, as much as he couldn't do for her, regardless of the wish that still existed.

She wasn't even looking at him anymore, her eyes were pinned to the floor and her mouth was shivering of the words she couldn't pronounce. Why would she even try at this point?

"Hmph, that's what I thought." he snorted and gave her his back, this time not gliding away but using a teleporting spell, fading into a splendorous light that she couldn't follow. He let himself get lost in the slumber of the dream of the white light.

'_Why am I in pain?_' he thought, feeling the heavy pressure upon his chest. '_I do know myself, don't I? I am still myself; everything is fine._'

* * *

><p>"But... you want to be understanded." Terra whispered, devastated, ashamed of her lack of valor to deliver those words to the twisted Kuja. "Otherwise, you wouldn't tell me that there is a <em>real you<em>... We're both just lost on the same path."

She truly wanted to fall to the soil and cry like a lost child, but she hadn't the understanding behind it. It pained her so much to see him more confused than she was ever. It pained her to see more of a reflection of herself upon his ignorant agonizing eyes. '_It hurts so much._' And she still didn't comprehend why was it.

But then, she felt it, the presence of another individual watching over her. And she jumped in fright and almost dropped her heart to her stomach after realizing who it was, beneath that red small silhouette wearing a feathered hat. His chivalrous shape would be recognizable anywhere.

It was the Onion Knight who was watching her.

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><p><strong>AN: URGH, THIS IS WHAT I WRITE AFTER PLAYING ALICE MADNESS RETURNS! I had so many troubles with this chapter, because it's really hard to write Kuja IC, now I'm making him appear like some sort of MPD (multiple personality disorder) patient. Please tell me if I can change something of him for better.**

**Sometimes, after reading so many emotional fanfics and watching many tearful fanarts of Kuja, it becomes harder to see him as a villain. As far as we all know, he's responsible of turning a queen against her own daughter, murdering several innocent citizens, and almost vanished life itself out of panic... but sometimes I forget all those things and I just want to give him a hug.**

**And I could totally write a 1,500-words length essay about Kuja's psychological profile, but I think I'm just gonna save it for tumblr or something.**

**Thanks for reading me, and perhaps, taking your time to write me some decent reviews, thank you.**


	7. Pearl Tears

**Oh my, so many reviews. It fills my heart with rainbows. THANK YOU SO MUCH, GUYS. Your reviews really cheer me up, and sometimes anger me beyond words! KEEP IT UP!**

**Warning: Contains swearing. Kuja swearing. Yeah. —that's like super OOC, but can't be helped, I just love to write Kefka and Kuja insulting each other—.**

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><p><strong>VII. Pearl Tears.<strong>

The girl froze right there, paralyzed by the sight of the youngest warrior whose wide eyes were blazing upon her. All she could do was to stand still and wait in silence whatever judgement the boy should place on her. It wasn't as if she expected the Onion Knight to punish her in some way, but deep inside she knew she didn't deserve any better ever since she lied to all her friends from the beginning.

Terra was on the verge of fading, not knowing what to do with such tension. The kid saw her along with Kuja, and probably all the trust he placed on her would be destroyed. She enclosed herself on a corner, shaking, and didn't notice that her little friend came approaching.

"Is everything alright, Terra?" His voice was still subtle and comprehensive. _Why wasn't he looking at her with disbelief?_

"... I'm sorry."

The red mage wanted to turn away, but the Onion kid gently took her arm. "Look, uhm... I don't know what kind of deals you were having with that... guy, okay? But, I can't force you to spill it out, so, it's up to you if you wanna talk about it." he murmured, seemingly more confused than concerned. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

_Couldn't understand._ "... Are you mad at me, Onion?" _Why wasn't he?_

"I wouldn't say I'm mad. Just... a bit disappointed, upset." Onion looked troubled, but found the strength to smile, to make her trust. He was just a kid after all, he was still too young and innocent to realize how greatly she decieved him. "I know I'm safe, because I know that you'd never betray us, Terra. You're just not that kind of person."

Terra was frightened, but her boy was just that:_ a boy_. Even if his chivalry matched the adults, he was still that. There was nothing on the little knight's words but truth, besides he wore better confidence than she'd ever be able to offer.

"Please, don't tell the others about this!" she pleaded, grabbing the kid by his shoulders. The ginger-haired boy violently blushed.

"I'll keep my word with you." quickly responded. Tried his best to get back to a serious tone, but seemed hard to achieve. "But Squall... He knows too. In fact, he's the one who told me I'd find you here."

She pictured back the image of that young man of the black leather clothes. He always wore such a stern and cold look on his eyes, his heart buried somewhere nobody could find it but himself. Squall wasn't nice, but he wasn't bad either; Terra couldn't tell. Maybe the best thing was to avoid uncomfortable questions about him.

"Who else could know?..." asked, growing increasingly worried for Kuja, more than anything.

"Whatever, uhmm... Terra, what were you two doing?" he insisted, almost as if he read her thoughts. Both they were worried for completely different reasons. "Look, if he's been blackmailing you, then I'll surely..."

"He wasn't doing anything wrong." Terra shook her head in denial; it made the kid startle a bit. The female warrior knew it'd be a great shock for her friend, but he needed to understand, get it all clear before a bad judgement. "It might sound insane, but... Kuja's been helping me through this, a lot."

And she didn't knew for sure how to explain _this_, but the little knight already had the idea on mind.

"Are you sure?"

She took his hands, gently, making the by to look at her eyes. "Please, trust me. He was really mean to me at times... but, believe me, Kuja is not as bad as he seems." It didn't came out as well as she wanted, but how else would she do? "In fact, I just realized just how vulnerable he really is. Try to understand me, Onion."

"I want to, Terra. And I will trust in your words, just because you're my friend, alright?" he pulled her to his way as he walked outside the gray ruins. "You can tell me the rest of it on the way, okay?"

There was such a great relief beyond his words. She doubted other would be just as agreeable, thank goodness he was her best friend. There was still some forebode on his expression, but everything was fine now; everything would meet an understanding.

"Thank you, Onion. Thank you so much."

* * *

><p>He'd better avoid respiting himself in Chaos' domains, at least that way he could stop encountering Kefka Palazzo on every chance. But it certainly started to creep him out, for, it didn't matter where he went, there was a high chance that Kefka would find him, and eventually approach him stealthily. At the wasteland, the mountain, the sanctuary, the gateways... Kuja hadn't a safe place to be. There was a Kefka everywhere.<p>

"I bet you're having the best of fun with _my petite dolly_, aren't you?" Kefka mumbled viciously, again, daring himself to surpass his personal space. It didn't matter how many times, Kuja just couldn't get used to that bothersome bouncing.

Counterattack.

"And I bet someone here is jealous of me, that I actually have some real charisma." he laughed back, in order to see his fake smile shift back to grimace. "Did you honestly expected that girl to obediently submit to you, having that horrid fashion sense? Now look at me, and tell who's got the best of chances."

"_Uweh_! Are you saying that my girl turned into a lesbian because of your clothes?"

"Take care of your words!" Right, that jester was also good for insults. "What is a vulgar pig like you following me anyways?"

"I have you all the rights of the universe to stalk you, because you've been taking away the girl I've bathed with my blood and sweat, _you little bitch_."

"Well, you don't look as mad." Kuja replied snarkily. "If you dare to interfere in my schedule, then I'll be sure to vanish you before the Cosmos' Warriors, Kefka."

The clown arched his thin blonde eyebrow. "Is that it?" He found something amusing among all those words. "Heehee-he... Your blood is truly cold as grave. I can imagine it now, even though you acted as if you cared for Terra... I'd love to see the devastated look on her eyes once she finds out the whole truth behind the crystals! The look she's gonna give you once she sees _the real you_! Hahaha!"

Something had been developing beneath Kefka's words, a dark turmoil twisting inside the white mage's insides. _Was it hurt_? _Was it anger_?

"What are you playing, you wretched cunt?" he hissed darkly to the clown. He began to sneer crazily.

"What a meanie you are!" Kefka replied rather diverted by the youngster's vulgar display of words. Even he was amazed by his own language. "Somebody needs to wash your filthy mouth with soap, you bratty princess!"

"Say what you want. I'm not falling into your childish game again."

And again, as always, Kuja didn't attack. He just left, as if his dignity depended on it.

And Kefka, mocking him as if it'd be really awful to never see Terra again. Terra was just a doll. _His doll_. _And a doll could always be replaced, no matter how valuable it was. So why was he feeling so hurt?_ Of course, he loved her. Was he supposed to feel like this? He never sacrificed so much for an object.

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><p>Eventually, Kefka stopped jumping on the corners of his eyes. Maybe the clown just got tired of his role of constant nuisance, hence he accomplished it successfully, for Kuja's head was pounding like a drum.<p>

Thinking too much about the matter made his head ache. Couldn't think straight, and it's been for a long time ever since. There was only two people inside his head, and those were Terra and Kefka. Specially the first one. The last few meetings with her weren't as pleasant as he expected. In fact, her words, meant to be forgotten, they just grew deeper and deeper within him.

He flied like a butterfly among the wasteland of Chaos, and then met a faint presence nearby. It wasn't weak, just in repose; and it was a very distinguishing strength.

That man was just there, standing over a rock in the middle of nowhere, apparently meditating... or maybe sleeping with his eyes open. Whatever it was, Kuja didn't find it productive at all. His appearance wasn't obnoxious at all, he wore a tall figure and slender body covered in black leather... and of course, his long straight hair was silver, trace of dim vanity—however, Sephiroth's hair wasn't as beautiful and bright as his'—.

Besides, it was the warrior of Chaos with whom he spoke the least—_or none_—. He doubted Sephiroth would try to kill him if he just approached. Any excuse would do just fine.

"And they have called me a lazy. Let us take a look at you. Have you done anything else besides standing there?" Albeit his bad manners, the other soldier didn't respond, not even turned his head back. Silent, as if he was deaf. "... Forget I asked."

Kuja was about to leave, as it seemes a waste of air to speak to that man, but suddenly, the silver haired soldier turned back his head.

"Aren't you done playing as his puppet?" he muttered, and his voice was cold, almost lifeless. "I judged you as competent enough, but it seems I was wrong."

It made the young man twist his expression, disgusted. "What are you hissing about, Sephiroth?" And then, when the taller one turned himself completely, Kuja saw a grim smile faintly making its way into his pale face.

"You're all just puppets in this conflict. Specially you, being that clown's personal toy." he said, slightly amused. "You should have been aware of it at this point."

He was making fun of him, evidently. His words weren't supposed to make sense.

"... Liar."

"I gain no benefit on telling you what everyone knows already." Sephiroth simply replied keeping in his cool. It just made Kuja even madder. It'd even drive him into blasting all of his magic with the sole purpose of erasing that sentence.

"Shut your trap, you arrogant worm! What can you know about me? Nothing else comes out of your mouth than filthy lies, fallen spawn!"

The mage exploded, he was about to fire against the other Chaos warrior, but didn't find the reason. His head raptured into angry pain again.

Wasn't he the owner of this life he was breathing? Didn't he have the will to do his fate as he wanted? Were his motivations his own? Were his memories... _still there_?

"Your unstability annoys me."

"Where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you, you scoundrel!"

"Ask yourself, white mage, what are you so afraid to uncover? Look around you and see the truth by yourself... of course, if you know how."

Upon that last statement, Kuja realized it.

There was no proof that his resolve was real. And he always depended on vague images and scents; twisted links he managed to put together just because he found them inside his head. He felt fully sure of their accuracy until Ultimecia pushed the button, and then Terra kept scratching on the wound until dragging him to this deadly uncertainty.

Now,_ he even doubted _if killing Zidane was the _right_ thing to do. _Incredible_.

"My memories aren't fake! They're not! I shall carry on everything just as planned, and I will prove just how REAL my memories are!"

Sephiroth suddenly disappeared, as if the wind lifted away the ashes, vanishing like a phantom. But there was not longer interest on that one. The young man, with a growing determination, headed towards the lands of the light in search of his toy.

This time, it'd be different. If he couldn't succeed, then nobody could.

'_And Terra shan't smile anymore._'

* * *

><p>She explained slowly everything that Onion needed to know. As they walked over the hills and through the gates, she told, if not everything, all she could trust Onion to understand. Even tried to use the most fit words to gain the child's confidence about Kuja's matter.<p>

Never talked this much and this long on her own. Could mean the Onion Knight was a better listener than she imagined. He remained quiet the following hours, just raising questions whenever he queried some small detail, like: '_Did he touch you?_', '_Wasn't that too rough?_', '_Would you think he meant this and that?_', and so he kept on going...

Obviously, he was still unsure about what Terra's decission, but at least he knew she wasn't betraying her friends. She'd give him time to assimilate it all, for it wasn't yet certain what would he do if he ever had to watch over her sessions with Kuja. Of course, only if there was gonna be another session.

After the talk they went through, there was low chances of meeting him again soon, it seemed.

Onion stepped foward, telling her that he wanted to look up for manikins. The zone was infested of them, so they needed to take care of each other's backs. Terra answered the boy that she'd wait in this place that resembled Kefka's Tower, in case another new enemy approached. To this point, the little warrior trusted her capacity of dealing with stronger opponents. '_That's a start._'

Suddenly, she felt _him_.

Said nothing to the Onion Knight. Didn't want to involve him into this too soon. Hesitantly, the kid parted ways and went to explore to the next stage of the Gateway.

What she needed the most was time, but there was only few. Terra hurried her steps, each inch brought her closer to the weighty magic aura coming from below the dimension of iron walls. It was almost there, one whisper away from her.

Silently she soared against the echoing façade of red steel. The first thing she saw from the rift's door was the characteristic piercing blue eyes underneath silver feathers.

"Kuja? What are you doing here?" she asked softly, gliding to his side. The slender young man turned his face to her, diverted.

"I have been following you, my dear. That's the thing."

"I wasn't expecting you to. Not after the last time we talked..." Terra said leaning her face down. "You don't look better ever since then. Haven't you rested well?"

Part of him was radically different now. There were huge shadows beneath his eyes and his skin was terribly pale, almost like a ghost. He was still beautiful, but most of his radiance was almost gone; and somehow it felt as if he was thinner than before, though it was possibly just an illusion. Kuja always has been skinny to the point of having a most womanly shape.

However, his eyes gleamed with such a fierce energy, as if a beast was waiting there inside to be released.

"It isn't time to concern about my sleeping habits, Terra." Kuja strentched his hand to her, his polished sharp nails were inviting. "But there's an important matter I needed to attend with you. And I believe you won't deny me your assistance."

"... I can't, not now."

"And what is it so significant that you can't come with me?"

"It's not safe to be with you here and now! Please, you need to come back later, if it's so important."

"... You've been discovered, is that right?"

Her back shivered, a new fear growing stronger inside her heart. And his eyes were smashing the girl, making her feel so small. She didn't like the fact of being easily intimidated by Kuja just by his stare.

"Not now, Kuja; please, just go."

Kuja smirked, this time, it felt colder than ever. "Are you perhaps planning on ambushing me along your dear friends when I lay my guard down?"

"No!" The girl backed off, frightened of his souless speech. "Don't you understand? I want you to leave me alone!"

So her words became hurtful. His eyes widened in shock due her sudden response to repel him. But he was containing his own spleen in order to don't scare her away, so he just crossed his arms and examined her face.

"Is that it? Are you done using my teachings, my bird?"

And the voice of the kid trespassed through the place. "Terra, what's going on?" _But she really thought he left!_ Kuja sneered at the noise of the young warrior's call.

"Oh, is that your little knight in shining armor?"

"You have to leave now." she continued to demand. Her heart was beating faster.

"Why should I? I believe you're expecting to see me, the evil mage, beaten by your valiant guard, that kid of fiery eyes, am I right?"

"Stop it!"

"Terra?" The Onion Knight called again, becoming uneasy. And Kuja wasn't helping either; obviously he was expecting to put the girl into a situation of extreme risk, however it didn't seem to be a sort of test or game. He genuinely wanted to frame her.

Being left with little options left, Terra hurried herself and seized Kuja with her arms, invoking a new spell as she pressed herself tightly to the other man's body. A powerful glow surrounded them as a forceful push shoved them to a new different ground. When the light faded away, they were no longer inside the dimenson of Kefka's Tower, but they found themselves inside the cold World of Darkness among the mystical pillars of crystal.

The red mage made it on top of him as she failed to properly maintain the poise so they ended up landing in the floor. Kuja was visibly stunned by the fast trick, but somehow she thought that her spell of teleportation hadn't to do with his stupor. In fact, his face regained some color, pink to be precise.

"I'm sorry if I was discovered. I know it's my fault... but, you have to understand, I'd never want to harm you, after you helped me so much." Terra explained, trying to get her bottom off his lap, discovering for uncomfortable was to be sitting nearby that codpiece of his.

And Kuja gently pushed her shoulders aside with just the fingertips of his hands, as if he wanted to prevent touching her more.

"You may forgive my rudeness, but I'm not accustomed to this kind of physical contact." he advertised frigidly. "And how considerate of you, learning this teleporting spell so fast just to take us out of such a dicey situation."

"We're still inside the same Gateway, it shouldn't take Onion too much to find us." Terra stated, slowly getting herlself up. "And don't you start flattering me! You were the one who pushed himself to the danger!"

"Oh, is that it? You aren't going to do else besides yelling at me? At least you should slap me."

"I won't give you that."

"I thought so." Easily he stood up with the help of a floating spell. Terra couldn't help but to notice the graceful manner he did to shift himself. "Well, shall we get on with it? We've got limited time left, don't we?"

"First of all, what was so urgent for you to come after me like that? I doubt you'd just want to give me an extra-lesson, because..."

"Do I irritate you, my pet?" he asked, as he caressed his lower lip with one finger. The girl snorted a little as response.

"... Sometimes, you really manage to get me on my nerves, but it's not so bad." But she was growing unpatient. "Kuja, if you don't tell me what is it, then I'm just gonna leave." Even if she was, she could barely make herself sound truly angered; not to him.

He sighed, apparently peeved by the girl's behavior. He even palmed his face in frustration.

"O, how I hate you, canary." he whispered, but Terra wasn't sure to feel offended. "Your excess of sweetness, your infinite comprehension, your lack of emotions... you do not know just how insane it drives me! Why won't you take out your anger over me? Why you hesitate on hating me?"

For someone who complained about such, he didn't displayed much of emotion either. Kuja was sour, not mad, not sad. And he lost some of his charm. Ever since last time, Terra understood how frail was his emotional state, and this new demeanour wasn't a surprise.

"Why would you want me to do that?" she asked. "Does it feel wrong that I don't discharge my anger on you? Is that what you've been so worried about?"

"I'm not worried. I am nauseated. I am sick." He wasn't being himself anymore. He was growing despondent. And then, with eyes cleared from delusion, he queried to the young lady: "_Do you hate me_?"

He meant those words to stab her heart out, but Terra tried to keep her warmth. "Of course I don't." So she smiled again.

"Even if I commited unspeakable horrors, and I'm beyond salvation?"

"... I don't know. Do you want me to hate you?"

"Maybe." Words couldn't describe what she felt while watching Kuja's gaze. Somehow she didn't know to whom was she talking. It was a very different person revealing underneath the cracked shelter of Kuja's character. Something incredibly sad and tragic rose within his melodious voice, and it distracted her while two white creamy hands took both sides of her head.

"... What are you doing?" she asked, while Kuja's hands gently had a firm hold of her head. They were staring at each other's eyes. A strange sensation was building inside her belly, because she was so close to him, and it wasn't fear.

"Observing you, what else does it look like?" he simply answered.

In between all she couldn't predict from the white mage, Terra was now almost sure of what he's been looking for. _Affection_.

But how could she ever show affection? She didn't know how. To give and receive love, those were things she wasn't ready to seize, and maybe she'd never fully understand what they meant. But she had the feeling, that in the same way, Kuja didn't comprehend love. And those who couldn't perceive it, they were the ones who needed it the most.

"Can I... hold you?" she shyly asked out of these thoughts. Hugging was a way of affection, as far as she knew.

"Don't." Kuja replied, holding her still. "I just want to look at you."

"... And... what do you want? Have you decided yet?"

He looked at her with distant curiosity. "What do you mean that I have decided, my bird? Speak up."

Without warning, her hand reached out to his wrist tenderly, trying to feel the skin beneath the cloth. There was a slight tension running on his arm as she touched his hand, but she wasn't even aware of the effect she was causing on Kuja.

"You used to don't know what you wanted, that's why I ask." But after talking and thinking much about it, she never reached a conclusion and eventually her head began to feel heavy. Was she thinking too much? Even her brain was tingling. "... I'm feeling dizzy."

"That's okay, you can close your eyes if you wish." he softly suggested.

But then, she began to feel a terrible pressure drilling on her temples, causing a heavy pain. Ardour. Sultry. It was as if her thoughts were melting within his grasp.

And she couldn't move her body. "Ahh... Kuja... what... are you doing?... My head..." All she could do was to despair and look into his icy blue eyes as everything kept tumbling down.

'_Why...?_' Something wet and warm slipped on the corner of her eyes. '_Why are you doing this? After all we went through?_'

She blacked out, but she could still listen to her breath and her heartbeats. And she could hear someone else's breath. When Terra's eyes opened again, her body was lying on the ground, and the first thing she saw were the iron footwear of the other mage.

"... I can't. I can't do this..."

Terra groaned, fording her body to lift, but she was severely weakened by the ache. "Kuja?" Her chest hurted and her breathing was rapid and it was as if her sanity was crumbling to pieces.

"Stay away from me." Kuja said, and his voice was shaking, though she couldn't see his face down where she was. "If you so wish to live for your friends, I won't stop you. Just keep it all away from me!"

And... he left. There were still tears staining her cheeks. For the first time, the young girl began to cry.

* * *

><p>The thief wandered aside two of his mates. The old routine was getting everytime dreary as they found nothing or no one to fight with, not a single clue to aid them in their quest for crystals. Zidane, however, never allowed those things to let him down.<p>

Bartz, as always, had no hurries and took it all as a part of a fun game. Squall was just as bitter as a lemmon, never explaining his reasons for coming back to the party. And Zidane, well, he had his own things to worry about.

Two mages appeared on their way. Both menacing as blood-thristy, but each with their own personal goal. Squall didn't waste his time to unsheathe his gunblade, for he knew this was the battle he'd been yearning since the beginning of his journey.

Zidane, however, didn't draw his daggers yet. He didn't want to, though he was facing the Angel of Death itself. A hidden feeling was seeking its way outside him, but this wasn't the right time.

"So we finally cross our paths, my beloved brother." the mage cruelly muttered, glancing at the blonde youth with blank eyes.

"... Kuja."

"And you'd best pray... this is may be the last time we meet."

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><p><strong>AN: ****There's some nice climax building up in here! BUT I JUST WANT TO ADD MOER CHARACTERS! I'd love to add Caius (FFXIII-2) and Edea Kramer —actually, I think I could, since she's technically Ultimecia's alternate costume, and I like to think Edea was actually summoned to the war as well...— also, maybe Aerith.**

**BUT I'M NOT PROMISING ANYTHING!**

**And I hate christmas.**


	8. Wounded Wings

**LISTENING TO FFXIII-2's SOUNDTRACK ALL ALONG. IT'S MAGIC.**

**Warnings: Mayor OOCness... I guess.**

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><p><strong>VIII. Wounded Wings.<strong>

He made a choice, only for himself and none. It'd be his ultimate movement on the stage of this epic war. Though his acts would be seemingly just a small interference on the divine chords, it'd probably turn all destiny upside down. He'd violate the main rule. Zidane would perish before getting his crystal, and so, another cycle would end to give birth anew.

What he didn't decide just yet was... what would he do at his _brother's_ death?

So his meditation brought him back to the reality, the dark reigns of Chaos, one deceitful harpy fluttering towards him in desolation, she queried him with assistance for her next perfomance in the dreadful stage.

"Weren't you going to bring the girl with you?" asked the Time Witch walking slowly circling him, her raven wings spread just gave him the illusion of being trapped within them.

"I changed my plans." he replied slightly annoyed. "Besides, she must get her crystal before time... And I don't understand why must you take affinity with me."

"That boy probably shrinked back to his circle of friends. After all, he's taken fondness of that kid, Zidane."

"I thought you wished to ambush him on his own."

"That's why I brought you with me." The witch's golden eyes glowed mysteriously under the tattoed marks of her fakingly young face. Maybe she was trying to menace him with the stare in this case. "And we don't need those children dead yet." Ultimecia emphasized those last words, as if she could read Kuja's real thoughts.

He just rustled derisively at her. "This shall be the last time I take a partnership with you."

"Then face the three of them alone, if you so dare."

"I can kill them all with the proper strength." Kuja hissed clenching his teeth with disgust. The elder magic user turned herself to open the rift's door they needed, and in a flashing desire for murder, Kuja murmured below his lips. "You hag."

"I've heard that." she replied nonchalantly, weaving her huge black wings smoothly. "I'll cast Mute on you if I hear another compliment, Kuja."

* * *

><p>The time, it came eventually, as she ran into his trace of destruction. Probably, he liked to rip the manikins to shreads when he was bored; it was quite a horrifying view, to see all the dismembered crystal figures scattered all over the dark factory-like place, with the lunatic joker sitting on the end of the trail. He's been waiting for her, it seemed.<p>

When he sluggishly turned his gaze upon the girl, she felt as if his green lime eyes grew wider, brighter, like a maddening child.

"Meh, what's the use of being in pain if you can't show it to us all, my dear?"

"I'm not afraid of you, Kefka. I'm ready to take you." she said, gripping her fists tightly. This was the battle that she needed to get through on her own, after all.

"How dull. And I was expecting some delightful mental mess from you! You can just make things easier to me and come straight back to my arms, tweety."

"No."

"Then be destroyed, ungrateful scum." Kefka screeched, floating around in a playful manner. Then clapped his hands in order to call her attention. "Come to play with _daddy_!"

His depraved smile inviting her into his madness, but she refused to set the first assault. To be predicted, the clown bursted out in laughter at the same time he released a great amount of purple shimmering balls of energy, so Terra had to jump back and elude them with sharp precision, for Kefka's attacks were extremely unpredictable.

He laughed and laughed, having the best of fun, not caring werether she could survive his magical explosions. Terra was doing all her best to avoid getting touched by his powers, leaving her with little chance to strike back. She had to fly away as far as she could if she intended to get an opening. But then she was surrounded by the destructive spell. Quickly, barely managed to teleport away from it.

"I WANNA PLAY MORE!"

Terra landed herself on the other side of the great room of red iron, took a deep breath and calibrated the power she needed. _Just as she's been taught_. Then, in a _peekaboo_ manner the colorful mage appeared behind her cracking up in guffawing. He was about to launch another fiery spell, but she managed to attack first, using Tornado or course. That was a good counterattack spell.

Kefka was taken by surprise by that windy chaos, lifting his body and sending him to crash against the ceiling. Then fell uncouncious to the ground. For a moment he looked like dead. And Terra's heart skipped a pound.

But when she approached, a light rapturing from the floor nearly exploded against her. But the intensity of that spell managed to burn her, just by being close to the blow.

The clown got back to his feet and grinned at the girl. "... Ha! You thought I was holding back, precious lamb?" He stuck out his tongue in a jeering way and summoned another kind of light around him, as if he sat a barried on himself. "Watch this!"

But it wasn't. As soon as he begun to focus, a new sun-like light started to follow her, dropping bombs that violently exploded with destructive magic. Terra flyed away, but it kept following. But Kefka right there was vulnerable. It was her perfect chance.

"Enough!" Got herself quickly on the ground and casted an energetic blow of Flood that, and as easy as it seemed, it hit Kefka before his spell could touch her. "I'm not gonna cling to the past anymore, and I'm not gonna let you have your way, ever again!"

His body floated limblessly on the air, and he was surrounded by a black kind of smoke. His presence was beginning to fade, she felt.

"Little Terra, don't you understand it yet?" his murmur haunted her, his body yet didn't disappear at all. He was playing dead, but he lifted his head and watched her with great amusement. "_Either way you pick_, I'm your your doom!"

There was something beneath those words, and Terra knew it. Kefka's body dissolved along the black smoke and his insane laughter, leaving the girl even more confused than before.

Then there was hush.

"What's happening...?" Terra's hands were shaking, not seeing any signal whatsoever. She defeated Kefka, she did surpassed her mission, so... "Why haven't I got my crystal yet?"

Something was there, she missed an important matter beyond her understanding. Her heart was still replete with confusion, like never before. She still didn't know what she wanted, what were her desires. _Didn't she try hard enough?_

There's been something troubling her mind ever since she met Kuja for the last time. She didn't know how to describe it, but was it really hatred what she felt for him now?

'_Kuja... Even if you betrayed me..._'

All she did in the beginning was to become stronger in order to protect what she cherished the most. Her friends. Kuja didn't matter at all, as long as she knew how to take care of herself from his hidden intentions. However, Terra never expected that she'd become caring of him, a villain. Someone who probably wasn't any better than... _she was_? Even as bad as Kefka.

She had no right to call herself saint. She committed horrible crimes even if she wasn't aware of them. Those memories flashed back to her all of sudden._ She killed_. She destroyed. Barely perceived any sense of morality, until she met righteous people. If she didn't, she'd have just ended up falling again into the darkness. So she knew how it was to be lost.

That's why she tried to understand Kuja. Because they were the same. Or that's how she felt. '_I wish I was certain, otherwise if I commit another mistake, it shall be my last._'

Kuja was after Zidane. The last time, he wasn't even good, he was about to break. Though thanks to those circumstances she was still free, the white mage would put himself in grave danger if he fought in that mental state.

"Terra... Have you made it?" Cloud asked, coming on her aid. The Onion Knight wouldn't come with her, for his trust wasn't stronger than his uneasiness.

She'd just throw the dice. "Cloud, I need your help. Where's Zidane and the others?" The spike-haired man stared at her bemused trying to ask her the reasons, but refusing to waste any more time she grabbed his wrist and dragged him as she flyed forcefully. "I'm sorry, I can't explain you yet, but you have to trust me, please."

"Okay, I'll show you the way. Just let me walk on my own." he answered, still dazed by her hurry. Even now she wasn't sure what would she do next. Following feelings wasn't always the smart thing to do.

* * *

><p>The world was made of crystals. Everything of this place had a cold breath of familiarity grasped him, though couldn't really tell what was he doing in a place like this in the past. <em>Was it just another illusion?<em> Didn't matter. This was the perfect place to be Zidane's tomb.

The crystal structures would look beautiful enameled with _his_ blood.

The slender graceful mage was floating above the thief, who hadn't unyield his daggers for battle. Probably fighting the idea of running away for his life while he could.

_Oh no, there was no turning from this_. Even now, he could listen his music inside his head. His heart was beating fast for the thrill of massacre.

"Can you hear it, Zidane? That magnificent requiem? It's for you. You'd be grateful to die at such a exquisite lullaby."

"I can't believe you. And here I thought that you weren't as rotten as that witch." the young man replied, his gold furred tail moved one way another, reacting to his anger. Kuja should be the one angry here.

The mage invoked magical orbs to accompany his inner music, growing to a violent climax. "_I'm not rotten_. Soon that'll be your corpse, lost within the threads of the rift!" Predictable enough, casted swift sparkles of thunder, forcing the younger one to move.

"Even you! You're starting to talk funny, just like them!" Zidane moved really fast, so the silver one had to chase him all over the place, avoiding any interruptions from the eagering battle between Squall and the Time Witch, Bartz seemingly helping the friend. Zidane already had his own problems to deal with. "What happened to all that individualism crap of yours, Kuja? Are you now just one of the herd too?"

He just rapidly rushed the bright of Holy upon the little man, each time closer to hit him. "Quiet, you worm!" Then summoned the _Flare Star_, that lovely spell he named himself because it was his favorite. "Please, just accept death that I'm generously offering to you!"

Zidane got engulfed by the overwhelming fire balls, but forced himself fall to thr ground in order to don't get further damage.

"Oh yeah?" the thief panted, putting himself on his feet. His daggers were ready for defense. "Then you're forcing me to use brute force!"

* * *

><p>For the witch, it was all a game. A dance. The knight was playing rough on his way, but she admired such cruel and desperate rampage. He was showing all his emotions through battle, for he always recured himself to be the emotionless one. His face told nothing, but his actions talked instead.<p>

Eventually, Squall got tired of chasing and blocking. And so did she. Needed to play her part too.

"Have you ran out of breath?" she laughed, stretching her ravenous claws, instructing the iron to take form of knives to chase mercilessly to the young man. "Take your punishment, ruthless child."

Squall was ready to take the threatening rain of knives, but a ravaging beam of electricity and fire tore the way of the witch's spell. Somehow, the mime copied a strangest kind of weapon, like a machine, which didn't belong to any other warrior, but surely it came out to be a most helpful trick, it ended up saving Squall from a deadly blow.

"Ugh... Bartz! Don't get in the way!" he groaned, stepping in front of the other youth.

"Like heck I will!" he replied, stubborn to let his mate die alone.

"You're just being stupid! Go help Zidane!"

Ultimecia didn't waste time, for she summoned a more dangerous spell, which surrounded both lads in a magical circle, feeling the light swallowing their very souls. Squall hurried to push Bartz out of the way, barely making it out safely. They simultaneously striked back with spellcasting, but their own magic wasn't match for such a powerful sorceress.

The youth with black jacket silently adverted his comrade to get back to aid Zidane, but the mime strongly refused shaking his head. Then an overwhelming explosion of purple sunshine filled the dimension of pink crystals, causing everything to tremble. And Ultimecia didn't do that, when they looked at her, she had turned her head left to see the source of such mighty burst.

They saw that androgynous mage gliding, almost dancing all over the place, shooting ferocious spells against the young thief who could barely stand and escape the fire.

"Crap! That guy is seriously trying to kill him!" Bartz yelped, running as fast as he could. On that moment, they witnessed Zidane flying on the air because of another blast, his tail's end was on fire, but he seemed more worried on getting a better landing.

"Zidane!" The teenage warrior also ran after Bartz. But the witch casted a barrier on his way, making him crash violently. However she didn't laugh at the boy's failure. Her eyes weren't even at her own battle.

Ultimecia's attention was also focused on the battle between the monkey-tailed boy and the white mage. "... Is he really trying to murder the brat?" The woman then invoked magical spears to rise for her, stopping the blast from the young man's gunblade. "It's hard to get me off my guard, isn't it, Squall?"

"Squall, gonna need your help here!"

She felt how his strength increased, as he forced the edge of his blade further against her spears' icy iron. "Outta my way!" Another blast, more powerful and energetic, it made the sorceress to cease and let him pass, otherwise she'd be forced to take all of his blows.

It was something completely out of her judgement, but she let her prey escape.

"Should I interfere...?" A faint smile crossed her red wine lips. "No, let's see how will tables turn."

After all, Kuja was nothing but a puppet. She should enjoy the show while she could. After all, this was the trial they've been looking foward to see.

* * *

><p>Zidane spitted blood from his mouth, grabbing his chest's side. "Gah... what the hell is wrong with you?"<p>

"What a question to ask, dear Zidane! _It's YOU what's wrong with me_!" He wasn't in the mood for a talk in the middle of battle. He's been trying relentlessly to erradicate Zidane's life for more than three minutes and the rat was still alive.

The thief's magic source was no different from his own, but still, they weren't fair match. Kuja easily blocked all of the younger genome's counterattacks with implacable force. Holy, Flare, Thunder, Ultima, all those elements merging into adamant visual music.

The brat couldn't have survived all that chaos of his. But the thespian couldn't sense the person who was falling atop him. The blunt side of his daggers rapped violently his chest, arms and stomach. Kuja fell backwards, but was able to prevent a rough wrecking with his Float ability. He quickly checked his body; nothing cutted, but barely bruised. After all, his body was incredibly resistant to most of harms.

And Zidane was there, standing dangerously close to him. Such a foolish approach. "Listen... I know that most of memories aren't clear... but you gotta admit it... something wicked is happening to your head, bastard!" he explained, though not letting his guard down. "We don't need to fight each other! I refuse to accept that this is our only choice left!"

"Then, your innocence it's an awfully inconvenient virtue you possess right now!" Kuja raised his arms on the air, having enough energy to blast him again with Ultima. "Now, it's time to die!"

"—You first!"

For a reason, Kuja didn't expect it. Maybe he became a little rusty for battles. Two idiots attacked his back at the same time and couldn't stop them, so he crashed against one of the crystal pink walls. It probably left him muddled for a couple of seconds. They hit him harder than Zidane ever did.

"If you want to mess with our friend, you gotta make it pass through all of us!"

They were standing in front of Zidane, the skinny one with blue garments and the fierce one in black leather. Kuja didn't expect to fight the one with the gunblade again, he was a feral fighter, but just because last time he didn't need to destroy him.

The white mage stood on his feet, it hurted to walk straight. But it didn't stop him from laughing cruelly. "Fine. Then everybody will die." Again, he casted his Holy orbs and prepared to show them what was a true Angel of Death made of.

"Nobody is gonna die here!" It was Squall the first one on thrusting his blade foward.

Kuja flew higher to the air, to prevent further attacks on the ground, but the scarred warrior would not give up so easily. He was jumping up the pillars of crystal.

"How noble of you! Die in front of your friends to serve as an example of what awaits for them."

"He's not alone!" Bartz attacked too, mimicking a Holy spell that belonged to a certain little girl he didn't wanted to remember by now. Kuja casted Flare on both his sides to prevent a double assault. Squall's blade was much more effective, but the mage didn't allow him to pierce through his defenses. He striked back with the orbs of white that served as burning punches for the teenage monster.

However, it wasn't good enough to stop him, for his blade had the inopportune craft of discharging bullets in case the sword couldn't cut. The blow of fire and steel reached Kuja's shoulder, they tore his purple jacket and his golden chestplate inside, for they weren't enough to stop the shot from bruising his body. Surely they didn't make him bleed, but the wound would look terrible underneath.

And so, the smallest of the three warriors arrived to the upper level of the battlefield, stunned. "Wait you guys! Stop!" Nobody was listening to Zidane's cries.

Definetaly Squall wasn't the kind of warrior he was prepared to brawl on this kind of situation; his fighting style was still something he couldn't predict nor control. Besides it was supposed to be Ultimecia's match, not his.

'_Where's that old witch?_'

She wasn't anywhere on sight. Probably left too soon, maybe already defeated by Squall with the help of the other idiot. Whatever, it wasn't important; right now he needed to finish them or he'd lose his chance.

"Time to unleash hell upon you..." He focused all of his power on his next spell—_But... what happened to his anger? Why wasn't he red yet? Why wasn't Trance coming to him?_

_What was failing?_

"You're open!" Another strike of the blade, but he evaded the mortal slash just by little. But before Kuja could feel safer, another blow got him from behind with somekind of bigger massive sword that resembled a warrior he saw early in this cycle. At least he didn't get hit with the sharp part of it. It was, unfourtunately, too soon to feel relieved.

Squall took advantage from Bartz's intromission and did some sort of circling movement with his sword near him. Small spheres of orange light started to burst around him.

Then he felt the burning. Such blasts knocked his body with such strength that he crashed to the floor helplessly, flimsy like a ragdoll.

"... Damn brat..." he cursed as blood gushed out of his mouth. That blow probably broke more than one rib. He quickened his hand to invoke a shield spell, for the knight didn't waste time on striking again. But something else that Kuja wasn't expecting was the way his little _brother_ would interfere in the brutal battle.

"Squall, wait!" he bellowed with both daggers standing out to stop another assail. Didn't matter either way, he was protected by his preventive spell.

Bartz, seemingly less irated than his partner, agreed on Zidane's terms; Squall, however, never put his sword back, in case it was needed again. "I want to talk to him." Then his blue eyes turned to him, eerily identic to his own, but wearing a more livid shine than he'd ever have.

It was amusing, to watch Zidane's softer side.

"Come a little closer, brother. Only doom lies beyond your careless footsteps..."

"Why are you doing this?" the blond boy approached, weapons low on his sides. His eyes were demanding, angry, confused, craving an answer for all this bloodshed. "Tell me why, Kuja."

His mouth curled into a slow sad smile. His resolve was still a pitch-black. "To prove I have a reason." So his fingers twitched inducing black and red sparks on the ground, Flare Stars taking shape on Zidane's sides. "Please, die here."

On the moment he attacked his genome fellow, all around him seemed to blur, as if the translucid curtains of reality waved by a dashing wind. All noise was muffled, images went foggy and his senses went loose for small seconds; it all felt so unreal that he feared a fatal distance from reality. He felt sick.

He could only distinguish how Zidane fell heavily to the floor severely burned, and how the other knight menaced to slice him with a deadly blow of that sword. That power was great enough to crush the defensive spell.

"... That's it, you're gone!" Squall yelled, charging his gunblade for what was going to be a huge blast. Bartz hurried to help the fallen Zidane, who was barely breathing after suffering such an overwhelming explosion. His face and hair were all black because of the burn.

The thief, however, only seemed more worried about his friend's upcoming wrath upon Kuja. "Wait—!" but his voice was all dry, only his lips could be read.

It all felt so slow and heavy for the white mage. He no longer found on himself the will to move to defend his life. In one small second, all kind of images crossed his mind; memories that were kept from him began to flourish. _He found himself lying on the dark musky roots of what seemed to be a giantic tree, and Zidane there, by his side... smiling._

_What was that? From where did it come from?_ His whole body began to shake, as if some essential part of his body cracked. And there he was Squall's blade, about to slash him in two.

'_Zidane... You..._'

"STOP!" And a miracle happened again, for luck always fell upon those who didn't deserve it. It was her voice what broke fate, it was her figure what stood in the middle of death and life.

"... Terra?"

She appeared out of nowhere, like a form of magic, and with the little sword she had in possession, she succeeded to block Squall's bigger blade. The clash breed a shrieking noise, and the friction sparks were so intense they could provoke fire.

For one moment, the whole world froze. There wasn't one single person in place who hadn't a dumbfounded expression on their face, except maybe, the female warrior there.

"What are you doing?" Kuja queried stunned to the girl.

Squall quickly ceased and removed his gunblade from her. "I knew it... you're in this with him!" he hissed regretfully.

The youngest one of them all slowly and shakily got on his feet with Bartz's help, surprinsingly still capable of moving on his own. "What do you mean, Squall...?"

"Why are you protecting this guy?" he demanded with dim patience to the girl; Terra didn't quiver, remaining firm between them as she put her dagger back to its sheath. Kuja couldn't bear it anymore. She wasn't supposed to be here. He wanted to move, cast her aside, but his body felt incredibly heavy and weak.

"Terra... go away." muttered coldly, and everyone was hearing but her.

The mage only perceived how her round pale face leaned down, but didn't find the smallest sight of her face. "I'm so sorry for lying to you all this time." she said, and he felt his chest tighten with the sound of her heartbreaking voice. "But... I'm in debt with him, and this is the least I can do."

"This is serious..." the mime uttered. The others were just as shocked. Zidane stumbled lazily, unable to contain his distress on his features.

"I understand why couldn't you tell us, Terra... But still, Kuja..." When his marble blue eyes gazed again at his brother, he averted his face in silence.

The twist of the situation only worsened Squall's character, losing temper in front of the red dressed girl. "How can you owe this guy something? You've seen what he tried to do! He could have been tricking you all this time for all we know!" His blue eyes were burning with courage and vehemence, frustration for he knew he couldn't do anything against her.

And then she bursted out too. "Do you think I don't know?" she exclaimed, her sharp sound made echoe all over the place, even made the valiant teen leap a little.

_This was laughable, a comedy_, Kuja thought. _This couldn't be happening_. Terra turned back and leaned on her knees, though never looking at him to the eyes; he extended her sweet hands to seize his wounded arms.

"Come with me." she whispered, mildness half-broken on her spirit.

"You don't have to do this." Kuja responded with his eyes down. He didn't have the conceit of looking at her, not after hurting her, after destroyed her confidence like he crushed a canary inside his cruel grasp. "Leave me here."

"I said that I'd come to save you if you ever got in a hurry, didn't I? Now, let's go."

She helped him to get up by grabbing him by his waist and placed his arm to hang around her neck; her fingers were so tender against his bare skin, he couldn't resist it. It seemed, he couldn't walk well, so it seemed hard for her to handle his weight on her own. Still, she carried on.

However, the scarred-face one seemed reluctant on allowing them the pass. Kuja knew he needn't pass through this disgrace._ He could just lift his hand anytime and drown the brat in fire anytime!_

Unexpectedly, the injured thief stepped in and grabbed his friend's shoulder. "Let them go, Squall. We won this battle, it's fine." And, for everyone's surprise, the young man put down his weapon, still dubious of his judgement.

"... How can_ this_ be fine?" Squall buzzed in annoyance. Terra kept on going along the Chaos mage.

They passed through the three warriors of light, and Kuja felt as if he was going through a public humiliation, parading on a road of fools. The shame was so much that his pulse went faster, his sight darker. '_Must be the effect of the beating._' Pain went deeper within his mask of indifference, raping his very soul. Not only physical discomfort, but his mind was filled with blear.

"Kuja..." The little brother again, he thought dismayed, he saw lack of regret on his expression. "I still want to hear your answer. Next time, be real."

_As if reality wasn't yet disturbing enough._

Terra delivered one last gaze to all her friends. "I'm sorry..." And he noticed it again, tears bestowed her gentle face again, melting on her cheeks. "Please don't hate me." Without a sound, she thrusted her body up and casted a floating spell to let them get away easily. Kuja, of course understood and joined to make it less tricky for the little lady.

* * *

><p>The soldier who accompanied her remained silent ever since she presented the body of a very injured warrior of Chaos, as she revealed the reasons for what she needed his help. At that rate of the way, she could barely carry him alone, so she was in need for a physically stronger folk. Cloud just silently nodded and did what she told him. Kuja only groaned in complain, but said nothing; it seemed like he just became weaker and weaker after the battle.<p>

"Why aren't you mad at me, Cloud?" she asked while getting occupied on carrying Kuja's left side. They've been wandering out for a while now.

It took him quite a lot to answer, surely looking for a better choice of words. "I've seen this guy before... I somehow wanted to think he didn't have bad intentions for you." he replied, almost confessing. "I guess it won't harm me to help you both."

They heard a chuckling underneath. "Then you're being foolish, Cloud." said Kuja.

"Were you awake?" he asked almost coldly.

"I don't need your pity. Let me go before you regret touching me." The white mage began to struggle against both of them, though being awarded with more pain he managed to get off them on his own.

"Kuja, don't..." Terra wanted to reach out for him, but he quickly tossed her hand aside. There was a deep turmoil she could see inside his eyes, but wasn't able to decode such dark emotions expressed. "Why won't you trust in anyone?"

"_Because you made the mistake of trusting me._" He replied trying to get away farther, trying so hard to don't look at her. He twisted his expression and brushed his silver mane backwards. "Don't play fool with me. You know how have I betrayed you, my dear bird."

And Cloud, unfortunately was listening the whole thing. "What are you talking about?"

The girl frowned slightly, remembering the painful experience. But an opaque bitter ray of hope bathed the memory. "... Still, you didn't do it. You couldn't."

He guarded in silence, just taking one second to watch her face again then turning back to the soldier with whom he had no relationship whatsoever. They exchanged cold gazes for some seconds, but Cloud's eyes told little about his feelings.

Kuja took one sigh and keeping cool his face. "We're fair. You payed your debt with me, so I'm no longer at your service, pet. We shan't meet anymore, for from now and on, we're becoming enemies of blood."

"Are you even convinced of your own words, Kuja?"

"I wouldn't hesitate on killing your friends, unlike Ultimecia does... so you've witnessed minutes ago. And you, swordsman, don't be confident on yourself just because the goddess granted you your crystal."

"... I'll take that into account." Cloud replied blankly. The mage greeted dryly at the warrior—perhaps a short show of appreciation for his help—, and began to drift away, uncaring of his current wounds.

"Wait, Kuja." Terra had to control herself for not chasing after him again, so she remained close to Cloud. "What do you mean that Ultimecia hesitated on killing them? Was she holding back?"

"... They don't need the warriors dead yet, and that's all I've got to say."

And so, once again the beautiful reaper left her with muddled thoughts. Kuja broke through the rift's gate and escaped, probably back to Chaos' zone.

There was another awkward silence between the two warriors, for now Terra's secret was no more. What would Cloud say next about her? Was it okay to let him inside her affairs? What did he think about Kuja? Would he tell the others about this?

"He does seem to have issues. But he cares about you." he muttered crossing his arms as he looked down.

The magician in red blinked twice and stared at her partner. "How can you tell, Cloud?" It was strange to believe Cloud knew to read Kuja better than she did.

"Because... he seemed very confused and tense." he said, ostensibly unsure of his observations. Or maybe deeply disquieted. "He musn't even know who he wants to be. What he hides must be something even he doesn't know. Somehow, it resembles you when you got started in this conflict, I guess."

"You... really think so?"

Piecing his words together with her suspicions made sense. Even if her instincts told her to forget about Kuja, at this point it wasn't possible. The crystal quest wasn't something of lesser matter, but she wouldn't be able to go on without first disclose Kuja's real face, no matter if he ended up being just as vicious as any other knave. It was a decission of her own, after all.

Like an imprisoned animal, she couldn't help it but to keep scratching on the surface of it until finding its end.

She touched Cloud's hand and, because she hadn't for anyone else besides Kuja, smirked weakly. "Thank you for aiding me. Even though I'm dragging you into all of this... I'm really sorry."

"It's okay." It didn't matter, however, Cloud barely reacted. It made her a bit worried, for he seemed to be very shut for his own emotions. "Why wasn't the kid helping you? I thought you told him about this too."

Onion Knight. He could have been the first person she'd turn to in this kind of cirmcumstances, but Terra deep inside knew the child wouldn't be able to believe in such a blind kindness like her own, 'cause she hadn't any proof of Kuja being anything else but a villain. "... It's complicated." she said after taking a small breath.

"I see." She kept on hoping Cloud would be more open-minded, and she didn't choose wrong. "If you ever need more help with Kuja... let me know."

"Why do you trust so easily on him?" She felt safe with him.

"I don't. I just... have the feeling that I'll regret it if I don't help him. That's all."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Apparently, I make the chaos' warrior a bunch of lazy mofos, and the cosmos warriors just a bunch of wandering hobos. I'm just used to spend half of a FF game running in circles around the map for nothing. :P **

**And I love Ultimecia, though you may not notice it much in this chapter for the poor portrayal I've given to her character. I CAN FEEL IT. I'M NOT DOING A GOOD JOB! TELL ME HOW CAN I DO BETTER PLEASE!**

**And KujaxCloud bromance is crack canon. Scary to believe.**


	9. Twisted Lovelorn

**IX. Twisted Lovelorn.**

They really seemed like eternal days passing by ever since the incident where she entered the battlefield to save Kuja. The notice ran fast among the other Cosmos' warriors; whenever the magician girl came across any of her fellow warriors, she felt their stares on her back, cold like ice; silently judging her.

But it didn't matter, she always knew something like this would happen eventually. Kuja couldn't remain a secret forever, so she's been prepared for this kind of situation. The wound was open and salted; no more damage could be done.

'_I'm alone now. Nobody wants to talk to me anymore. Nobody wants to be my friend anymore._' And the fact that Cloud wasn't a very talkative man didn't help at all. Talking to Cloud often seemed like talking to herself, and it wasn't always amusing. Onion Knight... he grew even more distant than before, trying to convince himself that his friend was just being deceived by a wicked servant of Chaos... _Perhaps he was right._ Maybe Kuja had fooled her all this time along.

'_Then... why can't I give him up?_' She tried to fix him, and she failed so much, but it was because she thought that she'd be able to handle all the darkness within him. What she didn't see on him before was..._ Kefka_. For one insignificant flash of second, the girl saw Kefka inside the white mage, right in the moment he held her head with his hands. Not the insane harlequin thirsty for destruction; not _that_ Kefka, but _the other one_.

There was _another Kefka_, she remembered. In that cold cellar where she spent most of her life. The shattered haunted soul that lived there with her and slept with her, the emotionless lonely child that fed her and dressed her. '_How could I've forgotten...?_' Those images from her past were the most hazy of all, yet now, she could recall them almost as if they happened yesterday.

Then, finally, one day... he broke.

And he became that _monster._

Terra shutted them down for a little. She never had any sympathy for that man and she never learned to feel such by that time. Even now, she couldn't. Then why was she now bringing her heart out for Kuja, who was just inches away from becoming such a hateful deranged?

_She wanted to fix him._

* * *

><p>The red mage wandered through the white gates of the Sanctuary of Cosmos, casually leaning on the perfect walls of ivory, resting her head from all her worries. This was the peaceful place for the remaining ten warriors of the Goddess. Cosmos herself lied in the light-filled sanctuary, at the top of the gigantic tower that seemed to touch the gray skies. There were ruins of a great city at the tower's feet, which, like most of vestiges of this world, were untouched by human hands, but deliberately built that way.<p>

She stumbled again with Zidane, who seemingly was much better than days ago, smiling wide and with health at his finest.

Strangely enough, he didn't seem upset with her at all, even when she reminded the thief about the amount of damage he received from Kuja. "Nothin' that a couple of potions cannot fix!" he answered cheerfully.

There was a great relief on her after hearing his words, not for what he stated, but the way he talked to her. How could he seem to be so happy after all the mess? Even thought that he wouldn't forgive her.

The short youngster leaned against a wall, while his blond tail kept on moving side to side eagerly. He frowned a little, apparently bothered by something. "It's kinda weird, y'know? Though everyone seems to be avoiding you for what happened... I really don't care and I need to talk with you, Terra." The girl just nodded in understanding. "... To begin with... what you did for Kuja, uhmm... it was really noble thing to do, and... I don't blame you. I never did."

He was sincere, _so he really cared for Kuja_, even though the other claimed unconditional hate for him.

"Zidane... what exactly is your relationship with him? He acts... so strangely for you."

"I still don't know... but I can't shake off this feeling from me, that... he's no longer my enemy."

"No longer? Was he ever?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we went through somekind of... hardship. I don't even like his attitude, y'know?" he snorted silently, but she knew he wasn't recalling any pleasant memories. "But... from the world we were, from the time we were... at some certain point I began to feel at peace with him."

"As if you solved your differences?"

"Kinda." Zidane shook his shoulders and then scratched the back of his head with a sad look on his small face. "Though it's not near easy. I know Kuja has done... some terrible stuff in the past. They're things that even now I'm taking a hard time to understand, because being on his shoes is not good enough. I can always try to understand him... but still don't know if I can forgive him. I doubt there's enough heart to forgive..."

Terra paled for a second. Why was she so surprised? She knew it all this time. But hearing it from Zidane made her incredibly sad, as if she was used to live without that testimony.

"After all... he's been summoned by Chaos. What am I grieving about?" she muttered.

Slowly, the girl slipped her back against the wall and sat on her ankles, sinking in her thoughts. Zidane joined the girl, sitting at her side, careful to avoid his eyes turn to her thighs; it wasn't time for him to play the lecher. Besides, this girl was far from his reach, and probably there was a more pretty one waiting for him somewhere else.

"I hope you don't mind, Terra... but why did you go to help him? You guys' been _hangin' out_, weren't you?"

"I guess... it was because I was too naïve. He just passed by and helped me to control my powers, just because he was interested on using them for his own benefit."

"Sounds Kuja-like."

"But... in the end he didn't do it." the girl confirmed, stroking the tip of her long curly ponytail. Zidane had a troubled look on his face, probably regreting how was she so hurt by such experience. "He was about to, but couldn't bring himself to place the spell on me."

And he sighed heavily. "... So, he had all the chances of the world, and still didn't put you under his mumbo jumbo crap?" He placed his gloved palm on his face briefly. "Geez, this man's been trying too hard to make himself believe he's evil." muttered, expressing forbearance for the white mage. Then he rubbed his chin, eyes closed deep in thought while his tail was tapping on the floor of stone. Terra thought this was a very unique sight of Zidane, so she could save this picture of him forever.

And then, suddenly, the thief jumped back on his feet, causing a faint fright on the girl. His eyes were shining bright.

"Hey, what if one of the Chaos' minions brainwashed him? It could explain everything!"

Terra leaned her head to a side. Her friend spoke so quickly and gaily that she could barely take it seriously. "You think so?"

"Well, that's just me. Kuja's been always some nutcase, to be honest. What I'm afraid is that some other wacko could have taken advantage of his mental state."

"That's a lot of assumption, Zidane." Though not impossible. But she preffered to see the least dark side of it. "Maybe... he's just confused."

However, those words didn't weaken his shine, instead, he began to rise a big confident smile. "... Maybe, but you can put Kuja back to place! I'm sure he's got a soft spot for you!"

"Zidane, I... I don't know... I want to make him reason, really bad, but what if _I'm not good enough_?"

The youth chortled at the girl. "With your cute big eyes? Not good enough? I disagree."

"Then, could you perhaps help me on bringing Kuja back to his senses, as you say?"

He held back, becoming unsure about her suggestion. "... I dunno, after last time... I think he's more likely to blow everything up than accept _my_ help." And he was right, because there was this feeling that letting both Kuja and Zidane in one place at the same time would give birth to another catastrophe. "But I could go with you and watch you from afar to back you up in case things turn a bit nasty."

"That's the safest way. Cloud surely will help us too."

"Terra, I'm sure you can work things out with Kuja. I know you can."

The girl tried to get up from the ground, finding it hard to distract Zidane's eyes on something else, so she moved as fast as she could on her hard heels of gold. To call his attention back to her face, she tried on smiling. Oh, it was even less hard than before, yet she'd never tell him that it was Kuja who first made her smile without making effort. Smiling felt so good.

"Thanks for believing in me."

* * *

><p>Kefka could have been repeating the same routine for hours, grunting and walking in circles, always yelling about how couldn't he understand his plans going to failure. Golbez felt sure that if the jester ever found the white mage again, he'd probably vent all his frustrations on Kuja's uncouncious body. It was a mere fortune that the young man wasn't around the Chaos' Shrine.<p>

It became a bad habit for him to wander at the shadows, pretending he was unnoticed. It was dangerous already to aid Cecil on his quest, and to meddle himself into other's plans would be a suicide. There was a great impotence carried on his wide shoulders, because he couldn't help Kuja enough—taking into account that the youth was a stubborn mule—, so all he was permitted to do was to watch in silence how were Kefka along Ultimecia and Emperor Mateus weaving a sinister strategy for their next move.

Of course, he trusted they would allow the warriors to obtain their crystals, to seal Cosmos' fate. But they were sadistic enough to cause them great despair before that time.

The majestic dark witch approched to the hysterical joker, of course, taking care of the space in between. So Kefka stopped stamping on the floor and stared at her, unamused.

"I can predict your responce, but I've gotten a better idea for Kuja's next use, instead of destroying him right away." she said with her velvet voice, twisting her crimson lips to a charmingly macabre grin.

"Does it imply making the twerp suffer an excruciating pain beyond life itself? I wanna listen, Ulty!"

"And the best part of it is that it'll lead our enemies to be granted with their crystals, if you don't ruin it, that is, Kefka."

"_Pretty me_? Oh, how can you think so badly of me?"

"I know you're capable of not ruining it, if it's convenient for your goals. So clench your mouth and listen to me carefully."

The thaumaturge strayed deeper in shadows, hoping to be as invisible as possible. There was a freezing breeze running through all the shrine, making it hard to breath. He heard every second of their talk.

"... Planning on getting rid of him already? ... No, it's something else."

* * *

><p>Getting acostumed to visit a certain place in a war climated world was never a good move having the enemy stalking anywhere. But he just felt the need of coming back to this isolated ghost town. The only thing missing here was <em>her<em>.

He could hear the echoes of her softly spoken words, the gasps and grunts of their dance practice, his exquisite instructions of battle for her use. The tales she told and how he responded with sweet lies.

But the bird was out of her cage now. _She is free..._

_He sat her free._

Along these words inside his mind, a new sharp pain caressed the back of his head. He groaned at the feeling, gritting his teeth. "Why...? My skull is throbbing like an angry drum! ...Ah, where are my thoughts gone?"

'_I can't even get near them anymore. Could Sephiroth be right...? No! If that asinine harlequinn was doing something to me, I'd have noticed it before!_'

Now he could see it, what the problem was. It wasn't coincidence that everything had to do with Kefka. And it wasn't just the clown. All of them. Each one of those awful numbskulls was behind it, tracing his way ever since the beginning.

But again, he was blaming it all on his little brother, not knowing why. He didn't have any relation with the mess his soul was tangled with. Still, Zidane was the only one left for all his hatred. It was as if his body was forced to drive all those regrets to that cloudy memory. Yet, at some point, his mind stopped his body from eliminating the brother when the chance was given. Kuja felt so miserable for not full-filling his desire of murdering his own blood, at the moment Terra saved him from a brutal defeat.

"If I can't kill you, Zidane, what is left for me to do in this world?" The mage became more desperate. No matter how much he tried, his memories were blocked away from him. And not just that, an invisible power manipulated his feelings and thoughts, directing with poor judgement. "I can't understand... Many pieces of me are missing! My mind... is shattered!"

He was in agony. He was fighting those violent aches and feelings, all sprouting at once inside his chest. It hurted. He remembered those emotions, though it was funny: Kuja wasn't designed to understand such, not even to feel them. They were unnecessary things for someone like him.

Something was there, beneath his nightmarish realm. All his actions provoked by one thing, a piece of information that would change everything.

He was an Angel of Death and Zidane was created to replace him, so he fought to gain his freedom. But at a certain point... Terra was destroyed. _Not the girl_. The dying world that Garland tried to save.

Why did it happened? The answer to all of his questions was behind those events of the past. That small light would be the key to set him free from _their_ control.

Before he could push himself hard enough to unearth the truth, he felt the timid shimmer of her flight nearing the place he refuged himself. _How it happened that everytime he stopped thinking about her, she ended up appearing on sight?_

He seized the strength to put his body on his feet, trying to don't look as ghastly as he pictured himself now.

"... So, what brings the bird back to the cage-trap?" he spoke, turning around the collapsed wall of the edifice. The warrior maiden, rosy yet melancholic, her big purple eyes seemed to expand at the sight of him, grew sadder and beautiful. _What was this adorable creature up to?_

"I didn't know I'd find you here." she said with shy chime. Deftly landed her feet on the dusty rocks, walking with great care over them since she always wore heeled boots; it was plain obvious she was trying to feign interest on the structure of the fallen building. "This place, its somehow scary, but as strange as it sounds, gives me peace."

"Now, that's a very cliché attempt to start a conversation, my loving Terra."

"Well... Yes, I expected to find you here. I was hoping to talk to you." The red mage hurried to grasp her own hands. It always seemed like he made her nervous, seeing through her intentions.

"You must be quite the masochist one, dear. Haven't I hurt you enough?" The young man walked over the rocks, but almost tripped over them, so he decided to cast the float to avoid the shame. "Or what is it that you're so eager to speak with me?" The girl, however, not a single moment backed away though his voice growing solemn with every word. "Otherwise, have you forgotten we're enemies now?"

"I'm not going to fight with you, no matter what you say." Terra said as she made one step foward. "I just... I want you to tell me the truth."

"The truth is... relative." Suddenly, he stopped looking at her, gazing the void of gray skies.

"What do you mean?"

"It changes as how we perceive it, I suppose. We change, and the truth changes with us. The truth... is in what we want to believe. None else."

"But... the truth doesn't need your approval to be, does it? Aren't you just believing what makes you most comfortable?" And she stretched her hand again to him, hesitantly touched the white sleeve of his left arm. "Kuja, if the truth has changed as you say, what is it what you believe now, and what did you used to believe then?"

"... You are just doing the same as I do. You want to drag out the answer you'd love to listen from me... you won't stop until you're rewarded with the response that you wish."

"No. I only want to listen something honest from you. I don't ask for anything else."

He chuckled dryly as her turned his eyes to her once more. "Honesty. So pure is your desire to achieve truth? What if truth is not something nice to hear? What if truth is devastating and it destroys you?"

"... Even so, there's people around me who still care for me and will support me at my hardest trials." And her hand clenched slightly harder on his clothe, he noticed on how her soft fingertips touched his arm. "That's why I don't need to fear the truth." And she was pulling out something from his mouth.

"I see. You don't fear the weakness because someone will catch you if you fall. So that's..." Kuja, for the first time hadn't courage to look at her. His throat seemed to tighten before finishing his sentence. A big pressure was clasping his chest, and his lips were trembling.

"... Trust." she continued on. It was almost as if she could read his thoughts. "Trust means that you don't have to be alone... Kuja, will you, just for once, trust in me?"

The pressure on his ribcage felt hot and it went up his head. Even now, he couldn't tell what was happening with his body. Her touch, her gentle words, her beautiful eyes. He couldn't understand this new old desire. He wasn't wanting her. It was different. She was offering something he never had, a thing he never wanted. Because he never understood.

"...I will." he answered, taking her hand with his slim fingers. He watched the metamorphosis of her eyes, from two tranquil ponds of woe to gorgeous stars of violet nebula. Her eyes never looked as pretty as now.

"Really? That's...! I began to believe that you wouldn't! I'm so glad!" She was so happy that she almost jumped, grasping his hand so tightly it hurted.

"Please, don't make me regret it too soon, dear. Weren't you eager to make me answer a few questions for you?"

"I-I'm sorry, Kuja. It's just that... Alright!" It took her several seconds to slacken her face, so he knew there was going to be some serious matters to talk about; and somehow he didn't feel ready at all. "I want to know... well, if that's okay, the real reason why you hate Zidane."

"My, among all questions, you have to begin with the most touchy one, don't you?"

"I had to try. Am I being too hasty?"

"You are. And it is not my temper what you'd care about. In my current state, I cannot be sure if I'm being honest at all with myself."

"Oh... then... do you want to talk about something else?" Clearly, the girl was just as unprepared like he was. Couldn't contain a small titter, which only made her even more nervous. "Uhmm... what do you liked to do? I don't personally do much, I guess. In fact, I don't have any idea of much what I used to do in my world... But I like—!"

"What is this? You expect me to participate in your lame attempt for pillow talk? I'm not a lady, you see."

And so, it all went downwards, from the edge of gravity to the pitiful mockery. "... I'm sorry. I really don't know what else to do with you; seemingly you only accept flattery."

"I do. You know I always have my arms open for a well-deserved praise."

"But aren't you interested on something else?"

"Beauty."

She bit her lip, apparently supressing her annoyance. "I see that. Anything else?"

"Music." He'd love to provoke her to the point of seeing another display of her emotions exploding, at least it'd be better than this pathetic excuse for chat. "As you may remember, you've heard me sing like an angel."

The girl just stroked her face with her hand with frustration. "... Right. I'm sorry."

"Then, what is it that you like the most?" he asked crossing his arms.

Terra gave him a short stare. "... Well, I like moogles." The white mage had to hold a laugh, because he always considered those marshmallow-like creatures as silly. Their appearance was a jolly joke.

"That's a rather childish thing to like. You like none else?"

"... I don't know. There's so little I remember, and I'm not sure what kind of things I used to relish back then." Though her words hid a sullen meaning, there was still light in her eyes, eventually shaping a smile to whipe away such sadness. "I like to talk with my friends. And I enjoy the laugh. I'm comfortable with simple things, I guess."

"My, but if isn't that what we do most of time? You're leading me to believe you enjoy my company, no matter what can I do to you."

She shook her shoulders. "Doesn't matter. Sometimes I forget about how dangerous you are." The comment made him snort a bit.

'_And so do I, dear girl._'

"Must be your charismatic side, I suppose. But now... I just want to..." Again was trapped within her words and her face stiffened. A faint color pink was impregnating her round cheeks, and Kuja rised an eyebrow. "... Are you more comfortable now to tell me about...?"

"—I might be just a little too suspicious over your chatty mode, loving bird... But are you perhaps failing on seducing my weakened heart?" And as he talked, Terra's face became redder than a cherry. "Is that a flush I see?"

"What if I turn red? What's the matter with it?" she faltered confused as ever. Kuja came a step closer, staring at the infinite purity of her purple orbs.

With this close, he could almost listen her speedy pulse. "Why is your heart beating faster than usual? Haven't you wondered?"

"Is there something wrong with it?"

"It's beating faster because of me!" he siad loudly, with a blissful smile on his face. The girl twisted her mouth.

"Yes, because you're scaring me!" she protested, clearly disturbed by his behavior.

However, Kuja didn't care. He was floating on this weightless sentiment, it felt so good that he didn't want to get down to earth. And it was so charming to have this maiden with no clue of what was going on. He simply dared, _o he dared,_ to grab both her hands and curled his fingers with hers. The expression on her face: absolutely priceless.

"Your innocence, so sickly adorable. Would I even dare bearing the sin of tainting such virgin flesh? Perhaps you don't even know on what seduction consists." Everything from her was consuming his sanity in the sweetest way. He took one of her hands and pressed her soft knuckles against his cheek. They were so smooth at the touch it sent a shiver down his spine. "Yes... even one small touch, you don't realize how it makes my skin crawl, do you?"

But completely conflicting to his pleasure, the girl was almost terrified. "... I don't think I like where is this going..." Terra quickly tugged her hands back, taking a short distance from him.

_Reject._

He felt his stomach twisting on his insides, emptiness inside his chest. Seconds ago he was rejoicing on something he never felt before, and now he was feeling such misery.

"So be it. You aren't exactly a temptress either." His voice radically switched unto something void and numb. It clearly wasn't the girl's intention to make him feel so devastated, but she did so anyways.

This was hurt.

Terra knew it, but she didn't feel safe. "... I want to leave now. Sorry for all." Yes, it was the best to do. Words wouldn't do any good if she stayed any longer.

* * *

><p>His tail flipped to his other side, almost slamming it in frustration.<p>

"That Terra is cute and innocent doesn't help that Kuja is such a fiasco for ladies."

Zidane almost felt strange that his counterpart didn't manage to notice his presence all the way along. '_Heh, I'm that good!_' The skilled young man managed to leave the ruins unnoticed, but Terra would come after him when she was sure she wouldn't be followed.

Somehow, he felt that her nervousness was partly his fault, ever since she knew all the time along he was there watching. "Balls, what if the fault is all mine?"

"What were you saying?" That unusually calm voice almost made Zidane jump down the rocky hill he sat upon. He quickly turned his head back just to see Cloud, far from being impressed, as always.

"Woah, when did you came all the way here Cloud?"

"... I've been here for a while." he replied quietly, briefly looking around if Terra was somewhere nearby, but she wasn't. Then, his glowing blue eyes spun unto the boy with slight curiosity. "Whatever, what is your deal with Kuja? You're—"

"Not enemies, as far as I'm convinced. It's not like I fully understand it yet. And you?" With that question, the fellow soldier fell silent, almost shutting his being from any kind of sound. "... Don't wanna share it?"

"I don't have a relationship with him whatsoever. I just..." And Cloud didn't continue. Not even a murmur. As his numb face could tell, the spikey haired man hadn't all of his ideas clear at all. Zidane understood that; he wasn't much precise about his opinion of Kuja either. Both they were driven by feelings and nothing more.

"It's okay. We can figure it out later." Zidane clapped, walking towards the _taller_ warrior. "Gotta catch up with Terra without him discovering us, right?"

Cloud nodded. "Sure."

The adult sat at the same spot where Zidane did for minutes, but he began to walk in circles inside an awkward silence. Cloud wasn't much the loquacious guy, and to someone like Zidane, it was even boring to hang out with him. It wasn't as if he didn't try to become friends with him, but so far it just seemed like a common partnership. Well, Squall wasn't any more social than Cloud, but there was an age difference; though Squall tried hard to behave like an adult, they were still the same age. But well, _Cloud wasn't very social with the other guys around his age, was he_?

Suddenly, Cloud got on his feet, upon hearing steps of someone approaching. Zidane too, turned his face to the back, expecting to see Terra coming this way. But instead of that, they saw several blasts of wind and thunder heading all-speed to them.

Both jumped and dodged those magical attacks. "What is this?" Cloud gasped, taking out his sword, perhaps fearing an ambuscade of the enemy.

Zidane also pulled out his twin daggers, preparing for the foe's next move. There were five of them. A lady that they've never seen before, but wore some tough appearance; three were mimicking their fellow comrades, the Onion Knight, Tidus and Firion, and the last one was a copy of a warrior of Chaos, Sephiroth. They were all made of crystal.

"M-manikins?" As soon Zidane stuttered, all at once rushed their weapons against the two warriors. Those puppets were fragile, easy to be defeated, but as soon as they clashed in battle, they began to feel some superior strength on them.

These were different. They were distinctly more powerful than previous manikins fought. So Zidane noticed as he saw his own magical techniques doing little effect on the female manikin with the strange gunblade. Not only mighty, but also resistant.

And for the icing of the cake, four new of them appeared to join the other manikins on their murderous attempts.

"Shoot! Where did so many come from?" Zidane wanted to go help Cloud, who just received several shots, but the thief was already dealing with his own problems.

Cloud violently slashed all the enemies he had around him, but lacking in result. "Why, all of sudden?" he moaned, hurt from recent assaults.

"_Damn it_..."

* * *

><p>From there, he didn't move for several minutes. Until he lied down, leaning against a wall his face in a most dramatical way. "... I'm a fool... Have I hoped to... make her desire the flesh I offer? Who am I, putting depraved words in her mouth, when I'm the temptress myself?" The thespian looked at his hands, widening his eyes in horror. "<em>I'm so pathetic.<em> How can she even bear me?"

He was always an horrible person. Now he saw it. Spent such a long time being deceitful and perverse that even if he had the will of doing nice, all he could do was to ruin it. Whenever a woman catched his interest, he'd just act to make her think he desired her wholefully. Terra wasn't that kind of case, no. She was a special girl that lacked of ardent impulse. And he didn't treat her as the rose bud she was... if he ever dealt with a pure child, he was always cruel as ice.

It wasn't within his nature to act kindly towards something he desired.

"Again she comes?" Kuja raised his head up, keen to her magical aura approaching closer to him at a great speed.

Saw her piercing through the air, seemingly running away from several manikins. '_Why are they here?_'

One of them, mirroring his own image, shot her with unrelenting blasts of magic, and its fierce almost hit her.

"Kuja, help me!" she cried, as she managed to strike back with her slim sword against one who looked like one of her friends. The girl used her limited time to cast the Flood spell but barely bought her some time. Kuja reacted immediately, unhesitant, and pulled her out of their grasp, blocking with his Holy orbs a fierce attack directed to her. The mage briefly looked at the girl; she was covered in bruises, even her hair's cute ribbon was botched.

For the girl to be so beaten up, the manikins after her had to be unusually powerful, perhaps only found the deepest corners of Chaos's territory.

And behind that manikin, other three were in formation, ready for the next assault.

"Manikins!" he called with grave loud pitch. "Cease your attack! That's an order! Obey!" But, deaf to his voice, the four simultaneaously onslaughted for the girl at his back. The manikins were clearly avoiding to attack their_ ally_ the best they could, but it became hard to shield Terra with his own magical orbs, so he was forced to use his own body to protect her. He called and shouted at them, but none of them stopped at the sound of his throat. "It's useless, they won't respond to my command!"

Also, Terra was doing all she could to stop the manikins. "What is happening? You are a Warrior of Chaos, why?" She followed Kuja's example and invoked her own Holy spell to cast them away.

"As if it wasn't obvious enough!" he yelled back at her. "Somebody else set them to do the dirty work!"

The red mage then began to get away from his protection, took enough distance, summoning multiple tornados around her. Kuja knew that it was dangerous to stay close to her when casting such an overwhelming magic spell. And it worked; two of the manikins who raid on her were captured by the ravaging winds and sent up to the sky.

However, the remaining two were ready to attack her, so Kuja had no option left but to take offensive upon them. Short of enough elegance, he launched several flame balls on them, making rushed explotions to quickly unable them from their attack. He soon acompanied his spell with the vehement white of Holy and raging red of Flare.

And still, wasn't enough. Though Kuja crushed the defenses of one of them, the other one, who was small and fleet, escaped his assaultand ran straight towards the tired girl.

It used a small sword and attempted to slash her. "No! Stay away!" Terra dodged short in breath and tried to cast Blizzard on her defense. But was suddenly detained by a forceful lance from the skies. It didn't stab through her, but the heavy impact was enough to make her crash against one of the stone walls of the buildings. Though nearly defeated, the manikins wouldn't stop their attack, for mercy wasn't part of their nature.

Kuja began to desperate, no matter how he wanted to interfere, but the manikins would not stop until she was left completely destroyed. He went to save her from her distress and set several projectiles of destructive magic against the manikins. It didn't matter however, those were too sharp and strong to be easily beaten by his spells. They wouldn't let him save her.

The girl, barely concious, tried to slip away from their grasp, but she was too weary and her face was bleeding. One of the manikins, a swordsman, caught her grabbing her from her blonde mane, and she began to shriek and struggle hopelessly. This was too much for Kuja to bear. The other three manikins were all over her as she fought for her release.

The white mage was filled with great rage. "You don't touch her!" he shouted, using a great amount of concentration, crafting his white orbs to pull the manikins away from his loving canary, fiercely dragging each one exactly were he began to summon a gleaming cloud of purple. And a devastating rain of energy pearls rained upon the four of them, each blast more fatal than the last.

Didn't stop the Ultima spell until he reduced all of them to diamond dust. Kuja slant to the ground slowly, aware of the massive amount of energy he used to erradicate those manikins.

He looked up and saw the girl leaning on the rocky floor, embracing herself, as if she was left badly hurt. With weakened pace, the mage from Chaos walked to her, growing worried about the wounds she could have. It was left clear that before she reached to this place, she had a rough battle against the manikins, and probably that affected terribly on the fight he just witnessed.

But Terra was safe now. He was standing there a few steps from her, but still, she didn't move from there.

"What is wrong with you? If you're wounded, there's a chance I can—"

The girl quickly shook her head, still tightly embracing her chest. "No, it's just that... Thank you." Languidly, she got up and faced him. Even injured, she was still gorgeous. But that wasn't the point. "But... you see, uhmm..." Terra had her arms crossed, or maybe just preventing her hands to leave her thorax uncovered. With a fast observation, Kuja realized with dim horror what was truly happening to the girl's torn attire.

"Oh, dear... you must be kidding me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay. No more comments. If I review a fanfic, at least I try to point out a couple of things about the chapter. What do you guys do?**


	10. Open Heart

**Warning: Pervert?Kuja... maybe not. maybe he's hiding man-boobs under that armor of his. Would make sense in my head.**

* * *

><p><strong>X. Open Heart.<strong>

The dictator of golden hair and armor rested his chin upon his wrist, staring at him with malice while sitting on the throne of the old shrine. "You can't be possibly... be developing feelings for this girl, can you?" Kuja's eyebrow twitched at his question. He just pronounced a dry laugh and looked back at the Emperor with repulsion.

"Feelings? Who do you think I am, honestly? Do you think I'd just throw away all my efforts for such a weak-minded child?" It didn't concern Mateus what were his plans. In addition that the fool wouldn't talk to him unless he wanted to humiliate him in some sort of way.

"Then, I suppose that being assaulted by three of Cosmos Warriors was part of your plan all along. Did you trust her to come and save you?"

"I had everything under control. The girl is maddly in love with me."

His pupils sharp as knives pointed at the young mage. "... I doubt so."

"Fine. It doesn't need your approval to work. The girl is all mine, and that's all what matters."

"And... if she's not?"

Kuja snorted, trying so hard to don't look nervous. "Preposterous." It was the first time one of Chaos' warriors made him sweat.

"We both know the truth very well, Kuja." said the Emperor crossing his legs on the throne that wasn't his. "When we can finally uncover the reality, that's when you're gonna face your judgement. Unless, of course, you stop playing the lovebird and force the girl to your side, where I suppose she and her destructive magic will have a more useful role in this war."

"Is that a warning I hear? Don't make me laugh."

But abruptly, a macabre laughter broke through the entire room, echoing all the way inside his ears. The evil monarch was indeed enjoying the play, for he could see through the actor's lies and ruin the perfomance for his amusement.

"It is laugh the one thing that won't come out of your lips if you fail again to prove where's your loyalty. However, it'd be quite pleasant to hear your whimp for mercy on your knees."

It took the youth a lot of self-control—even more than he thought he'd posses—to don't let his rage explode right there. There were black and golden ashes and echoes of a cry of anguish filling the shrine, but they were all on Kuja's imagination. The Emperor was still there smirking at him.

The fact that he wasn't free to scorch the bastard right there was so frustrating, and ever since his neck was in danger among fellow warriors, Kuja's every movement was under careful watch. Anything he did would be used against him anytime.

"Disgusting fiend..."

* * *

><p>The girl wasn't afraid of him judging her. After all, everyone had to endure this kind of embarrassment at least once on their lives. Kuja had, but if he survived then Terra would. One of the manikins on its last breath managed to tear the upper end of the girl's flory frock, ripping in the middle, but fortunately didn't leave a severe bruise on the Terra's chest.<p>

"... I think I might need a new dress." she said, seeing how pointless was to keep the torn halved top of her vest together. The cut wasn't too severe but if she started walking then the fabric would move from its place and leave at least one of her breasts exposed.

As a lover of good-sense in fashion, he couldn't ignore the girl's problem. "Can't be really that bad. Allow me to take a look at it, bird." At his demand, Terra stared at him dumbfounded, clueless and maybe ashamed.

It was a natural reaction, he thought. Of course, it wasn't very nice if a man demanded to take a closer look to a lady's breasts. And it was funny, because he didn't think about it like that, for he genuinely wanted to fix her dress. At the reflection, Kuja felt some heat running up his face and abruptly turned his face from her chest. There was a large silence after that.

"O-okay, I guess..." she whispered, carefully putting her hands down to don't make the fabric fall from her bust. The white mage didn't hurried his moves when his hands took delicately the borders of the torn dress. It was certainly odd having her so intimately close with his thin fingers virtually grazing her bosoms. But it wasn't time to think about how soft her round breasts looked, he was trying to figure out how to tie both borders together, but the fabric was too smooth to be knot. Added to each time his long fingernails brushed her skin she grew more and more nervous. "Can it be fixed?" she finally asked.

"...No, this won't do." he grumbled pulling the cloth as high as he could in order to prevent his eyes to see beyond he should, but didn't lose sight of how his action pushed the white breasts up. He quickle turned himself away, to conceal his highly agitated expression. "You are right. What you need is a new outfit."

She slowly got her hands back on her chest, her face looked like in fever. "Okay, then... there's a moogle somewhere close here." she mentioned looking at the afar wasteland. "I might purchase some clothes from..."

"Are you planning on walking around like that? I'm not going to allow that happen, dear Terra!"

"But it's okay... It mustn't be far..."

He had no patience for certain words that showed no prudence. How was she expecting him to let her wander with her broken vest? Besides, _darling Kuja would sure be charmed on helping the girl's distress_. Without second thoughts, the young man undid the iron belt beneath his violet guard.

It was all weird, doing this for someone. But he slipped his long sleeves carefully out of his armor, being left with his short golden chest-plate and the white clothes that protected his arms.

"Here. I do not need it more than you do now." Coldly, he handed it to the girl, who hesitantly accepted it. It wasn't a very big guard, but it would be enough to cover her ripped garment. "I want it back when you get your new clothes, so I beg you to don't ruin it while you wear it." Warned by him, she put it on with extreme heed, smiling softly when she finished.

"... Thank you. This is nice."

He was filled with that feeling again, seeing her adopting that mystic beauty again. It was just a smile. But something about it made him sick and yet so... content.

* * *

><p>They were about to lose, being surrounded by many more than they were capable of count due their exhaustion. For each one they destroyed, another three seemed to come out of nowhere. Cloud and Zidane tried to run away, but, well, the manikins weren't letting them have a chance.<p>

The swordsman took several blows protecting the monkey-tailed youth, and he was now barely on his feet. At those conditions, they wouldn't resist much longer.

But a miracle happened. _No, it was more like backup arriving to save their butts_. Three of their comrades entered the battlefield with all their fierce, mercilessly slaying the crystal soldiers with all their might. Zidane had more energy left to help his friends on finishing them off, but Cloud was too injured to assist further.

Squall, Bartz and Onion Knight ended up weary, but not as badly hurt as the two first warriors.

"We owe you, guys. If you didn't come, we'd sure be goners now." Zidane claimed cleaning the blood and sweat off his temples. But the grim teenager didn't seem as glad as the short thief. "What's with your face, Squall?"

"Those manikins, they appeared out of nowhere, didn't they?" he murmured. "What if a Chaos warrior sent them?... And what were you two doing here alone?"

"... And you came all the way here for what...?" Zidane asked back. The mime became seemingly uncomfortable. Onion Knight stepped foward with brave eyes.

"I came for Terra. Squall... well, he..." the boy turned his head to the taller youth, and surprisingly, Squall didn't look as cold as always, but deeply disturbed by something. Terra was again the core of the matter.

"She's putting everyone in danger on trusting _that man_." he hissed. He briefly looked at Cloud enduring his weight on his sword. "Besides, the two of you were involved into this mess..."

Onion interfered once more. "He's probably going to harm her! Maybe he'll use some dirty mind tricks to place her on his side! And...!" The thief frowned at both of them.

"Wait, you guys! Kuja is not...!" Before he could continue, he saw Cloud moving onwards, slightly limping but taking a firm posture despite his wounds. "Cloud?"

"The manikins were set to distract us, if Terra didn't come back, something bad must've happened to her." the soldier claimed with grave voice. "We shouldn't waste anymore time here."

"Off we go!" said the young boy following and almost dragging the poor warrior.

And Zidane had to recognize that Cloud was right. All of sudden they were attacked by Chaos' minions and it coudn't be coincidence that it happened after he spied on Terra's reunion with Kuja. It was fishy and he didn't like it, but if he cared for his friend's well-being he had to go along the little troop until finding Kuja and the girl.

So he walked with Bartz on his side, always willing to watch his mate's back, but he looked back at Squall, standing motionless from where he last talked. And Zidane felt bad, because, besides not understanding his loner friend at all, he somehow felt that it was him who dragged Squall into his struggle with Kuja.

"... Squall, I know you don't get along with her, so if you don't wanna come..."

The bitter young man scowled at the blond lad. "And leave you to get yourself killed by that drag-queen? Sure." he grunted, almost walking through Zidane. And the thief grinned: that was the old cynical Leonhart he knew.

"Geez, if you wanted to come you just needed to say it, man." he said and without warning shook the taller teen's shoulder with slight annoyance. "And this time, I'll do the talking, okay?"

"Whatever."

* * *

><p>Amidst the plains of gray, they walked for nearly one hour without finding any trace of the wandering moogle. She became a bit umpatient, because she didn't want to abuse of Kuja's newly-found charity... not to tell that the armored bolero was a bit uncomfortable to wear, though it weren't as heavy as any common armor, thus it was very cold over her skin.<p>

"I was almost certain there was a moogle around here..." she said, stopping to give her feet some rest. It was even strange to don't find those little vendors anywhere, for they were always there to offer their products to the warriors in need. But this had something to do to with the recent assault of manikins, as Kuja suggested, it could be a trap from other servants of Chaos. Besides, she had Zidane and Cloud waiting out there somewhere and she'd make them worry. "No good... We shouldn't go farther away to search for one either."

Kuja walked a few more steps in front of her, finding a big rock with a fairly smooth surface where he could sit. He sighed and crossed his slender legs.

"We could use the transportation stone to get somewhere... but that can't be an option now." he said with a sour aspect on his face... then suddenly stared back at her. "You look terrible with my armor on."

The red mage put her hands on her waist. "... That wasn't very nice, Kuja."

"It's just me, dear. Might be the anxiety. _I feel naked_ without my armor."

"That's uh... well, have you ever considered on using... _more clothes_?" She surely took out a touchy question, knowing Kuja's character, but it was almost as if the words escaped her mouth more than anything.

The beautiful young man made a gesture and then she wanted to bury back that question.

But he smirked instead of frowning. "I should use more clothes, love, but that'd just prove me more selfish than I am. Should I private the world from admiring my beautiful shape? I'm so generous by letting the foreign eyes see my dazzling ivory skin." And the girl felt puzzled by a second. He grinned but there it remained the feeling of uncertitude, hidden somewhere.

"Well... I never thought that way. I guess it's good to feel confident about your looks."

He arched one eyebrow amused. "Jealous?"

"Not at all. With your constant compliments, I think I feel more self-confident." And it was because there wasn't a single time they met when he didn't spill words of flattery for her... and now she felt grateful. "Even when I don't care much about it... when you say I'm beautiful, I trust your word."

"It gratifies me to hear that." _But why was he looking so sad?_ "To think... I've come to do something right."

The girl felt blue, not being able to forget at all about Kuja's situation. His self-esteem was always high, but regards at his heart, he was completely confused and forlorn thus she could tell by just looking at his eyes sinking in velvet silver. When he looked sad he stopped being gorgeous, just like a withered flower. But _he always looked like this_... when did her perspective change?

Terra slowly gaited towards the rock and sat at the opposite edge he was sitting. There was still a great distance in between. "Thanks to you I became stronger. There's so many things I've learned from you..." Instantly felt his icy eyes on her.

"But at what price? Anytime, I could have destroyed all your hopes and your freedom."

"And you didn't." And that was the first evidence she had of his true nature and the hint of a more benevolent essence of him. There was one talk they suspended by far too long and here was the perfect moment to get on with it. "Kuja... why were you summoned by Chaos?"

He paled but showed no emotion to her question. His eyes turned darker, almost replaced the ocean blue nearly with black. "... And you still wish me to be honest?... I'll tell you, but you must promise me that... you must be honest with yourself too. If you want to hate me, please don't hold it back."

It was now or never. She's been preparing herself for this moment ever since she met Kuja; though knowing that their memories weren't clear and her own caused her great pain, Terra was willing to take it. She would never pierce through that darkness unless she knew what was beneath it, even if she ended up unable to pity the mage because of the truth.

"... I'm ready to listen." she replied after a brief silence.

The white mage turned and shifted his sitting position to look at her when he'd speak. He placed one armored leg under the other and taking care of the white robe, not showing more of what he should. Until he was comfortable he partially bit his lips and brushed his silver feathers back along his silky hair. There she had a better look of his soft-looking face.

He was going to start, perhaps... from the very beginning. After all, he said he would trust in her, even if she'd hate him at the end of the story.

"I was created, not born. The man who manufactured me meant to send me as an_ Angel of Death_, to cause war and conflict to the hale planet, Gaia, in order to restore the life taken from the moribund planet called _Terra_."

"... _Terra_... that's..."

"An unfortunate coincidence, perhaps? I was impressed too when I first heard your name, bird, but allow me to finish my part. I followed my master's instructions, and so I became a weapon's dealer in Gaia. I created living weapons, uncaring werether they did or not have will on their own. And I've used my power of persuasion on a respectful ruler and encouraged her to start war; I even managed to turn her against her own daughter. Perhaps... millions of lives were scorched because of that war.

But... I had plans of my own. I was enslaved by my master, and I desired the power to take him down, before he could turn me into a lifeless doll. One thing I cherished more than anything was the power, because that was the only way to gain my freedom. So I used the queen's greed to seek that power and succeeded to take it... but eventually I had to leave a princess orphan. Until then, as you can imagine, I knew nothing about a small word called _remorse_. I didn't cease to make everyone's lives miserable.

And the power I took wasn't good enough. I became desperate, searching for any insignificant drop of hope, killing and manipulating anyone who'd get on my way... But eventually, I've found the ultimate power:_ Trance_." Terra leaned her head one side, confounded. "In case you're not familiar, _Trance_ happens when a subject is faced with powerful emotions that carry out extraordinary physical and spiritual strength. It could happen with any living being... but not with me."

"... Why?"

"I, as a soul vessel, wasn't designed to understand certain amount of emotions. But with my body's functions, I was able to store any kind of soul and use their emotions as fuel for my own power without needing to feel. On that way, I ultimately achieved that power and took my master down."

She felt her pulse freezing right there, not knowing what to say or think, but having just one worry in mind. _What happened to the souls that Kuja said he used for his own purposes?_ She didn't wish to know.

Kuja laughed, almost sadly, and covered his face with both his pale hands. Yet his voice never lost any grace. "... I planned to use my new found power to rule both worlds, and give each the prosperity and love they deserved. I wished not to destroy one for the sake of another, for I fell in love with Gaia, a world rich of wonders, and I still held dear my mother Terra... But..." And he stopped talking, while Terra's heart was racing confused and broken. Besides there was one piece of the puzzle left to match.

"... Kuja... what does Zidane have to do with all of this?"

Very gently he touched his face, always hiding his mouth. But his eyes gazed again at the girl. "He, too... is a son of Terra. The master Garland created him after me to serve as a replacement..." His smile grew gloomier, seemingly grinning at the natural hatred brewing of his being. The girl felt some sort of turmoil inside her stomach having heard these words. "Of course, I didn't allow that. I took the child away and abandoned him on Gaia's mercy, but... seemingly, fate would entwine us once again in the eye of the storm."

"... What happened in the end?" It was somehow as her questions triggered something within Kuja, making him stand up again. But what he truly wished was to evade looking at the girl's face.

There was just a dead silence, and that sensation of riot just made her feel sicker.

"Terra was destroyed by my hand." he said.

And suddenly a great commotion invaded her from her neck to her toes, as if something inside her was begging her to cry out. This wasn't okay.

Abruptly, she stretched her hand to grab the long sleeve from Kuja's vest. She didn't find any sense on his words. Her voice was cracking because she tried so hard to don't cry.

"Why would you do it? Wasn't that your home? I thought you wished to reign, but why—?" He pulled away roughly.

"Cease your questions! I don't know! I don't why I did it, alright? I just... don't know... I can't remember." When she looked at his face, they both shared the same expression of despair and pain that his story taught. Right then the red mage knew that they were going though the same, even more than the conceivable facts. She didn't hesitate on getting closer to him, face-to-face, even if she was breaking.

"But you... feel remorse now, don't you? Now you know that what you did was wrong, don't you? You are sad because you can't understand how couldn't you change it."

Kuja squinted his eyes at her umbraged. "How can you understand the way I feel? What makes you act so understanding at my crimes? You do see what kind of monster I am, don't you? What makes you so empathetic to this sinner?"

"Because... maybe I'm not as pure as I seem to be and I also committed terrible crimes, maybe not as great as yours, but they still torment me to these days. That's why I can understand how you feel. I too... live grieving about my sins." Terra tried, but the tears ran free under her cheeks. It felt as if her heart was splitting open. "And I wish... I could have understanded earlier the damage I was causing, but I couldn't, because I was never taught how to feel like a human. Now that I'm able to judge myself, I want to die, because nothing I ever do will ever bring back the lives I've taken. But I've met wonderful people and I've made friends, and I have the power to protect them. That's why I need to fight, because _that's the only thing I can do_!"

She fell on her knees right there, with all those images overflowing before her eyes and the memory of those deaths weighting on Kuja's borrowed armor, all of her traumas taking effect on her at the same time. And, right there, there was no person to take her back to the right direction, moreover Kuja wasn't that kind of person, she knew.

But among all the people she knew, it had to be with him where she'd fall apart.

The girl kept on sobbing, not having the strength to stand up again, because the pain was too much to endure. "I hate my powers... I hate them so much. Why can't I be like any other human?" she mumbled, covering her hot tears with her red sleeves. "Power has only brought misery to me..."

Lying on her knees in front of him was really pitiful even for her, but she was suddenly overdriven by her emotions in a way that never happened before. As if... _she began to feel like a human_, more human than esper for the first time._ She was an Esper_, a creature with the power of magic.

And then, when she finally dried the wetness of her eyes, she saw the beautiful mage squatting in before her, reaching out to graze her ashen curls, softly removing them from her face.

"I can see that. But knowing your own power is a way to break through a prison... But it's also important to don't allow it to consume you. Otherwise... there's no use on having it." he spoke tenderly, while she was mesmerized by the elegant movement of his lips accompanied of his melodious voice and the gentle touch of his fingertips on her temple. "So far, you've proved yourself worthy of that strength... contrary the scum that makes the universe corrupt from the inside out. Do not reject this gift, Terra."

"I'm sorry for making you see me cry. You must have gone through more of hell than I did... and yet, I easily give in to the pain."

He invited her to get up again, not wanting to keep himself in a very uncomfortable position, and so she accepted his helping hand. "That you're capable to feel pain, and that you can let your tears run... that's a sign that you create emotions. You can feel, unlike me."

"But, what are you saying? I've seen you, you have emotions, you're no different from me." she replied, and this time didn't think when she grabbed his hands, the same way he did early this day. "I know we can't always understand what the others might feel, but that doesn't mean that we aren't capable of having feelings."_ She could feel, therefore he could feel._

His eyes were almost closed, holding a gesture of deep sorrow. "I apologize." Kuja said, but not looking at her a single moment; still, she noticed how his grasp became tighter. "For everything I did to you. Now I see, I can't deserve the kindness you show me." And then he completely shut his eyelids. "I should have known, before it was too late, that those insignificant traits are in fact what makes people beautiful the most. And I can't have that. How could I've guessed that recognizing your sins would be the hardest of trials? It's the most horrible punishment, to live a life unaware just to suddenly open your eyes and watch yourself rotten in the mirror."

Even now, it was hard to believe that he was guilty of doing all the atrocious things he told her. But just admitting his mistakes and feeling remorse about them wouldn't be good enough. She was familiar with that burden.

Still, she didn't want abandon. She cared too much.

"After you get your clothes and we part ways... I shall face my sentence." He was trying to let go of her hands, and even if she didn't resist, he couldn't. He kept on struggling between wanting to stay or leave. "The Chaos Warriors know about my little deals with you, bird. It shan't take them long until they want to hunt me down and erase me from this world. Thus having the Cosmos Warriors blindly fighting each spawn they find like myself, I have no place to run or hide."

He broke free from her fingers, and looked at her with pure blue eyes. Unique and bleak like the sea. She saw no evil in them. Just one sad existence.

Not even realizing of what she did, Terra found herself surrounding with her arms his back, pressing her face against his neck. "... Then, if you have no place to go, you can stay here with me." her quivering voice said. "Let me be that safe place for you, Kuja."

"Why are you doing this?" It was obvious how his discomfort grew, having the girl against his body once again. But it was all just because of their mutual unease to close physical contact. Terra too acknowledged it was weird, but she didn't knew how else to say it.

"Please don't... Don't turn me away yet. Let me hold you for a little longer." she whispered under his left ear, just pressing herself harder, but Kuja didn't do anything to keep her away. "I don't know how to express all these things inside me, but I just know that I don't want you to disappear."

"Would you be sad if I was gone?... Maybe it was better if we never met." His voice was almost humming on her side. It was a very gloomy tune.

"Don't say that."

"Wouldn't you be better without me?"

"No, don't speak like that." Terra kept on shaking her head in denial.

"Maybe if I wasn't even born."

"Stop."

"I should be dead."

The girl embraced the Reaper with all her strength, making her arms and chest hurt, but she didn't care. She heard him moan close to her ear, making her know that he felt pain, that he was alive, just like her.

"... But you're alive. As long as you live, you are capable to change."

"Among all the things I ruined, there's just one small bird who'd grieve if I die." Kuja responded, and his arms succumbed to her will, surrounding her shoulders. "What a terrible joy." he sighed.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the OOC sentimental stuff. I was going to include more material in this chapter, but it'd take a lot more time, besides I gotta keep up with school.**


	11. His Last Chance

**XI. His Last Chance.**

With her heart wide open, a pleasant warmth invaded her body as she spent even more time with the white mage. After taking it all out, they walked and sighed tiressly over the lifeless land, realizing that most of that heavy sorrow began to vanish along their words. Even when she thought that talking would make everything worse, it worked completely different from what she predicted.

Resting close to each other upon the soft earth at the mountain's feet, she glanced at him, noticing how he rubbed his shoulders due the cold. Without his guard, she could see more clearly the svelt shape he wore underneath. He looked so fragile that it hurted to think how easily could he break.

Nervously, the warrior maiden sighed. "The moogle won't be coming here anytime soon, I guess. I'm sorry to make you wait here with me."

"I haven't wasted my time in here, you see. Besides, I refuse to leave without my precious bolero, canary." Kuja responded gently as he turned his head at the enourmous arch of the gate nearby. "Southwest, there's a gateway that'd lead us into a trench. If memory doesn't fail me, I've seen another of those vendors bouncing around there."

The elegant way he spoke about the moogles made her grin sweetly underneath, but one small thought made her giggle openly.

"... It's funny."

"What."

"Finding moogles in this sort of place... I knew moogles existed in my world, and by your way to talk, you're familiar with them too. Do they live in your... t_he place you come from_?"

"Sure they do. Most bothersome creatures they were, but can't deny how effective was their role as mail carriers."

"They delivered mail? That's... cute." The single mental image of those fluffy creatures flying around with mail bags just made her heart warm. "In my world, moogles don't even talk... _wait_... No. _Nevermind_."

"Though... the ones I knew were... a lot different from these. Must forgive my rudeness, but moogles here they just look ridiculous."

"... I think they're very cute, even though they all seem unreal." she said, twirling her fingers on one curl of her blonde hair. There was one small thought worrying her for a while. "It all feels... like some sort of dream that we cannot wake-up from. Haven't you thought... if there will ever be an ending to this war? You said that we've been fighting for several cycles already. Why is it?"

She heard him swallow to his throat but the expression on his eyes was frigid and controlled. "There will be an end to this dream. I promise you'll see it end soon."

"... There's something you still can't tell me about it, isn't it?" Terra shifted her legs to embrace them against her chest, then gently placed her left cheek on her knees. "Maybe... one day you can tell me."

A grieving look on his eyes but hid it when he brushed the feathers above his head, trying to relieve the shadows on his expression. "I shouldn't." he said. "At least not give to you only the burden of that truth... If I'm to reveal this sentence, all of your comrades should have the right to know."

"Then what are you gonna do? I doubt you'll just go and tell all the Cosmos Warriors what you know." the girl slowly leaned towards him, of course, not violating his personal space. "If you do, it wouldn't be to join us, would it?"

"Silly girl... Of course not. I don't belong in there. I didn't anything deserving of that honorable place."

"Neither did I. But still... I somehow got the chance. You have that opportunity now too."

"I'm not that self-indulgent, dear canary. Even bloodstained, your heart remains pure like snow... Let each man take their proper penance."

Terra didn't warn him, but still went to touch his hand. "I told you to don't speak like that." But he smoothly moved his touched hand back to his lap.

He chuckled flatly and stared at the frozen sky. "Loving Terra, you're trying too hard to save a dead-man. The miracle of knowing your selfness has also shown me the path to my personal hell. Just let me be."

The girl felt her stomach winding inside her and the pressure rised up her lungs. The way he was destroying himself through words made her immensely sick, because it did not just denigrated him but also threw her wishes to the ground.

"I said I'd keep you safe." she replied, her voice grew stronger with confidence. "So please, don't try to knock down my choice."

Kuja seemed to be reflexing when she talked, and then his dark blue orbs turned into her.

"... Who are you really trying to save here, Terra?" he asked in soft tone.

'_The past cannot be changed, no matter what I do._' she mentally said to herself. Even now, she tried to hide from herself how much of her mentor she saw on Kuja. Kuja wasn't Kefka, and he'd never be.

"You, of course." Terra answered.

"... As you say, my lady." A subtle smile formed on his lips, but preserving those sullen eyes. "And then who do you love? Who do you protect?"

_Love_ was a difficult word. Even now she wasn't entirely certain. "I want to protect everything I cherish in this life." she said.

"Am I... among _everything_?" That question sent a pleasant shiver through her back, making it more comfortable to listen such a dull voice.

"... Yes. Because you are my friend. _We are friends_, Kuja."

"A _friend_, huh?" He seemed to examinate the word in his mouth, showing an insecure expression upon it. "I've never had a real friend before."

"That's sad. But you see, it's never too late to have one... It's still weird, but it feels good to have people who actually care about you and will support you if you need."

"Indeed it's an odd feeling... but nice nonetheless." His faint smile remained, as if he was accepting how glad he felt. "I have one friend now and it's the very lovely girl who's borrowing my only armor."

"Well, maybe all this time you just needed a friend, someone to put your trust into."

The beautiful man stroke tenderly the feathers growing on his temple. "To be honest, I was afraid of being just a shadow of your broken past, if you forgive my rudeness." He sounded relieved, and Terra followed.

"You're not." she answered.

His silver eyelashes fluttered twice when he placed his gaze on her. "And... what else do friends do besides angsting on each others shoulders, may I ask?"

"Oh." The questions could go even more awkward than this, because though she was blessed with good friendships, there was little intuition about what to do with friends. "I guess we laugh. Sometimes play, if we're on the mood. We share stories and support each other if we have any problems... I'm not sure about everything else..."

And well, that was basically what she had on record. But it was alright, because they both have done all these things.

Kuja sighed and closed his eyes vanishing softly that tender smile of his. She looked how he began to lean his head close to hers, very carefully as if silently was waiting of her approval to his actions. Without saying nothing, she shifted closer to him and allowed his head to rest on her shoulder.

They both stilled like this for some while. Terra vaguely wondered if he felt uncomfortable laying his face's side on the steel pads on the armor's shoulders, but the silence was too perfect. She didn't wish to ruin it, when they were both at such peace. It was rare to be so tranquil, even when there was a great chaos surrounding them.

There was another tingling feeling building up inside her, making her arm move behind Kuja and buried her fingers inside his silver mane, reching out for his neck. He didn't say anything, but just shuddered slightly.

His arms began to respond, one slowly covered her opposite shoulder while other sneaked from behind her and caressed her hip gently and grazing her stomach. The girl just became more confused, not knowing what kind of contact was this, and Kuja's wordless actions weren't helping, because he didn't look sure about what was he doing either. He shifted his hand off her shoulder and lifted his head.

In a slacken way, he began to lay himself upon the elusive ground, languidly guided the girl to lie beside him too. Terra just followed his hands, so she thought it'd be okay to rest her head on his chest and left arm, and gently he trapped her with his white long sleeve. Her hand carelessly touched his tummy for not looking where was she placing it. Slightly embarrassed she got her hand back to her chest. That ephemeral touch hadn't words to be described, because his care skin was too soft and stainless. Kuja did not even notice, but his arm squeezed her harder, embracing her more passionately than today earlier.

Her heart began to go faster, but the beating eventually became more controlled because of the warmth he was sharing with her. They were both so close, but it wasn't hard to breathe, she could even close her eyes and fall asleep between his arms. She felt so safe.

"_Cuddling_. Is that a normal thing for a friend to do?" his voice whistled on her curls, tickling.

"... Well, yes. I think it is." She shook her shoulders. "Though I don't know about this timing. It'd feel strange though if we hug for longer."

He agreed, so he allowed her to slip away from his embrace, and both got back on their feet but never let her separate farther, as if they were joined together by magnetism. Terra felt how his hands took beneath her face and pulled her towards the charming pale visage of Kuja. The girl didn't know what to do, seeing how was he closing their distance at such a gentle pace.

Then he whispered supple words, his lips almost caressing her chin. "Is it common thing for a friend... to do this?" And then very lightly he pressed his velvet mouth against hers, and closed his eyes. At that second the young maiden felt the transmission of a strange ardor, she felt his smell and his pulse; later he separated from her.

Terra felt confused. "... And what was _that_?"

"A kiss. Don't you know what kiss is?"

She heard the word before, she saw it written before, but never knew what and how was it like.

"It's a show of affection, isn't it?" the girl mentioned, and made out his low silent laugh. Again, she showed him just how innocent she was, and it made her a little frustrated; so the girl dared and decided to take her face near his again. "Like this?"

She aimed his his jaw's side, but her lips touched the border of his mouth in spite. He smirked at her small try, but ceased to make her feel shamed because it was apparently her first time doing this sort of things.

"I'm sure you could do better, but just leave it like that." His hand caressed Terra's cheek and slided behind her ear, drawing her again close to him, and he placed another gentle kiss on her forehead. "I wouldn't want it other way, my sweet girl."

His warm breath on her head soaked through the rest of her body. The soothing feeling was short lived though.

From afar, her senses detected many familiar presences coming to the spot all at once. Terra lost that small glimpse of joy, but she knew they've got it coming. She made her friends wait for too long.

"... They're coming here." she muttered, parting from his touch.

His eyes became sad and his features stiffened. Would he choose to run now? She wouldn't blame Kuja if he did, after all they've been through. This pain was better to be faced later...

"There's no place to hide, Terra, I told you." he said, discarding her insecurities about his decission. He walked a couple of steps to the direction they were coming from, giving Terra his back. "All I can do is to face them and you know that."

"But... are you ready?"

"I'm not. But this task requires all my courage; I shall give the best of presentations I can assure you."

"And can you face Zidane?"

"If I have to. Though now I understand the reasons I've hated him this morning and days before... I did nothing to earn his forgiveness nor sympathy. I cannot get back my murderous attempts... I'm shaking in daunt right now, bird. I don't even know why can't I control this reaction. It's amusing..."

The girl put her hand on his shoulder and murmured behind his ear. "You don't need to worry, Kuja. I'm here to protect you, just as long as you don't get back. We're going to be together, so it'll be fine."

Somewhere deep inside, Terra wanted to hide behind him, hoping her friends wouldn't be again mad at her. But running wasn't an avaible option: it was now or never, she knew.

Cloud and Zidane weren't alone. Squall, Bartz and the Onion Knight were coming along, this last one made her heart hurry and sick inside because he was the one she wanted to protect the most. The five warriors stopped in silence, watching over the other two mages, and the youngest one of the group stepped one stride closer with deeply concerned eyes.

It was all what the boy didn't wanted to witness. But there he was, and he'd be the one to begin expressing what everyone else didn't want to. They couldn't help but to notice how the girl was wearing also part of the foe's armory to cover her ripped wardrobe.

"Terra, stay away from him. Please." said Onion with wavering voice, heartbroken.

And the thief continued after him, a little less uptight than the kid but still anxious because of Kuja's presence. The moment their gazes met, for an invisible instant the world halted in tension.

"... Are we interrupting something here?" the blonde youth asked boldly turning his eyes on Terra quickly.

"Shut up, Zidane!" Onion replied almost violently to the tailed one. "Terra..."

She stood out in front of Kuja brazenly. "I'm fine, Onion. Everything is fine." her voice picked a stronger tone, but never faltered in tenderness for her beloved friend.

"If everything is fine then, why are you hanging out with the enemy?" Squall questioned within a deep frown, blade resting upon his shoulder. Everyone stiffened at the teen's voice except for the white mage who glared at him coldly.

"Squall, I'm sorry, but I want everyone to understand..."

"Understand what? That you're on his side now?" Zidane tried to stop his friend's threats, but his voice wasn't loud enough. "You're not even aware of what you're doing, are you—?"

"—Let the lady talk first, you prying scamp." Kuja's complaint echoed between the seven of them, managed to set the other young man's mouth silent in one second. Obviously, he didn't like the intromission. But before he could step one foot closer to violence, Zidane stopped him forcefully with his arm.

"Squall!" The thief didn't seem as rough as his comrade, but somehow at the moment they exchanged gazes the taller one consented Zidane's call. Then he returned his attention to her and Kuja. "This is very confusing, guys... care to explain?"

Zidane looked for this to happen, but everyone else around them needed enlightment if she hoped for things to turn out the least horribly possible for Kuja. When she stared at him briefly, he didn't seem as nervous as she was, otherwise he was hiding his emotions too well.

"He's... Kuja is not willing to harm anyone of us. And he also wishes to share some information with the other Cosmos' Warriors."

"Is that true, Kuja?" The young man flipped his blonde tail swiftly side to side arching his eyebrow. Terra swallowed her tongue; this was going to e the first time those two would exchange non-battle words.

"I thought you gentlemen would be more convinced by hearing it from her voice. I was wrong." Kuja said, on purpose aiming his words to everyone and not Zidane directly, but he slowly answered his fellow's eyes. "Why is your face paling, Zidane? Wasn't it you who wished to talk to me the most?"

"Wish to be sure that you won't be sending off more manikins while we're having all a nice chat in here." he replied crossing his arms.

The older mage sighed, concealing a secret grief. "So... the manikins attacked you as well."

"Kuja didn't send them. He saved me from them not long ago by destroying them. Manikins weren't following his orders." Terra added, just to make sure.

"How are you sure you're not making it up?" Bartz interrumpted before his other friend could. "Can you explain us?"

"Do I have another choice? I'm admist a dreadful disadvantage if I were to set you a trap. Six warriors of the Harmony against one of me? Now, that'd be just plain stupid."

"If you didn't send them off, then who did?"

"I have a number of names in mind. Let's say I'm not under friendly terms with most of Chaos' warriors..."

"In other words, you don't know." Zidane assumed.

"Whatever they want it harms your intentions, no?" Squall queried, suspicious as ever. He had good reasons for it.

"Not precisely. But that's quite close." Terra didn't feel good at the other mage getting confident smiling. "What I mean to reveal you is meant not just for you, but for all the Warriors of Cosmos. It is a matter of life and death."

"... So you want to reunite us all in one place? You're planning to kill everyone at the same time with one blow." The gunblader's words froze her blood, but Kuja seemed unaffected. He even brushed tauntingly his feathered silver mane backwards at him.

"Do not adulate me in such a manner, little Squall. I have no intention of changing my diplomatic tactic."

"I should tear a hole through you, right now."

"Stop it, Squall." Almost roughly, the blonde warrior pushed his friend's chest to get him back, he even growled in annoyance but said none else. "Kuja, I get that this is serious stuff, but... how are we supposed to believe you? I'm sorry for this, Terra, but... her words aren't just enough to fill the doubts."

"Yes, for all we know, it'd be easy for someone like you to dispose of everyone if we decided to trust you."

"Bartz, c'mon..."

The discussion got more heated to the point of Terra becoming more scared. They were all arguing about what aspects to judge, the terms of trust, how to deal with Kuja, what to do in case of an assault, even spilled a few nasty words she wasn't supposed to listen. Even the silent Cloud broke in to give his point of view, but it all was summed into the chaos.

"Kuja..." without realizing, she was gripping tighter on his silk sleeves, and he stopped to see her affliction.

The girl watched how the Onion Knight put his big green eyes on her, but was unable to speak out his disturbance. Seeing her so close of Kuja was killing him inside, she knew.

"Indeed, it'd be much better if all the warriors were erradicated right away before reaching out this knowledge, putting it the way I see it." Kuja said in aloof voice. That answer pressed a button on the tailed warrior, making his twist his features into anger.

"Then, what the hell is what you want?" he yelled.

"Just be reasonable, darling brother. If I wanted to murder you with your valuable friends, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now... It is not my fault that your previous battles were so easy. My power is great, and so it is the power of other warriors of discord. You haven't seen them in their true potential until now, and that's the only reason you haven't lost this war yet. Trust me that from here and on... it'll become real pandemonium."

Her heart grew nervous as she heard his speech. Even now, there were so many things Kuja didn't tell her. She wasn't any less shocked by those words than the rest of the group.

"... Then, just say it here and now!" Zidane kept on demanding.

"I need to say it in front of all the warriors." he responded.

"We can give 'em the message. What is it? Tell us now if it's so crucial!"

But at Kuja's selective muteness, Squall intervened. "Forget it, Zidane. This guy is just out for our heads." he gnarled hatefully towards the delicate mage.

His words turned out to be so disheartening that Terra felt her stomach clenching inside her while seeing the other friends looking at each other just to finally stare at Kuja with disbelief.

Even now, she saw the uneasiness showing itself through Kuja's pallid graceful face. And all the shaking he mentioned before, was now more visible than ever.

"... If so you insist... I shall tell you everything you require at once." he spoke, almost losing all of his cool right there. Terra lowered her hand to entwine her fingers with his trembling ones.

"It's alright." she barely moed her lips, her voice lower than the whistle of the tranquil air. "Remember that I'm right here, watching you."

But everyone saw. Everyone heard. A silent commotion spreaded on all the warriors of Cosmos.

"... Then, _who's watching him_?" The voice of poisonous grace pierced into the circle of warriors, and a column of light appeared beneath the feet on someone; a circle of catastrophic magic was revealed under Cloud's guard, glowing dangerously mighter.

"CLOUD!" their friends screamed, but didn't move fast enough. It was too late to reach him.

Cloud was quickly pushed by a powerful blow, making him fall far on the dusty ground. The spell sat free a calamitous shine after Cloud fell out of the circle. Everyone stared back again at Kuja, who had magical one white sphere returning back to him.

"What a predictable move, Kuja. Do you also owe something to that young man?" Along those words, from a dark haze of feathers, the figure of a woman dressed in scarlet with great black wings appeared before the warriors. She greeted shortly first to the teen of black leathered jacket, and then smirked to Kuja with her malice distilling eyes.

"_Ultimecia_!" Squall didn't waste a second to go and attack her, but was easily dodged when she vanished in the same manner she appeared.

Terra began to panic. The evil witch was here for Kuja. This was of what he talked about. The girl now feared for his security the most. But they were all alarmed because of being ambushed by a warrior of Chaos and probably a couple of them shocked of how did Kuja save one of their comrades.

But there was a short time to analize the situation. From the sky, spikes of iron began to rain upon them, and without shelter, both Kuja and Terra reacted at the same time to conjure shield spells. Seeing how they worked, Onion Knight copied them to protect himself and Cloud too.

"What's going on here?" Bartz shouted, readying his magical blade. Nobody could see from where was the sorceress attacking them.

The rain stopped momentarily, but Terra didn't cease her protective spell.

"Zidane, take your companions and leave immediately." Kuja said in stern voice, not caring to return his stare for the youth. "This witch's been spying on us."

"... I'll stay with you." Terra replied. After this, it'd be impossible to separate from him to face Ultimecia. And Squall didn't look willling to leave either for his nemesis.

"Protect your friends. I can handle myself." the mage responded, turning his cinder blue eyes to the girl.

She wasn't going to leave. But Kuja was right: her friends needed her. She couldn't get split in two for both sides, while she sworn to protect him her instinct told her to stay along Onion and Zidane and everyone else.

"_Uweeh~_, what a cute pair of lovebirds." And with the same unexpected way Ultimecia attacked, violent jolts of thunder and fire began to dance everywhere surrounding the warriors. Terra watched with horror how the harlequinn man appeared within an spontaneous cloud of dark smoke. "You make me wanna tear my eyes out!" It was _him_ the last person she wanted to see now.

"Kefka! what are you up to?" The red mage heated her energy flowing wildly through her arms.

"You too? Fine, I won't hold back this time on killing you." Kuja added, defying the clown with same fierce. The rest of the warriors were ready too, expecting Kefka's next move.

"Oh my. Are you threatening me?" he laughed, carelessly scratching his butt.

She didn't want to contemplate how he made fun of them. Along Kuja, she used the Fire spell to begin with the clown. Then it'd be the turn of other to attack Kefka. They could get occupied with Ultimecia later if she appeared, Squall was looking out for her next interference.

But it didn't go as planned. Although she fired the same time Kuja did, something on his spell went off, brusquely altering its course towards Onion and Cloud. She thought something went wrong at last second, and fortunately the other soldiers of Cosmos managed to dodge it on time, but later glaring at the white mage.

Kuja didn't look fine either. His eyes were wide in shock while Kefka crackled crazily at the youngster's attempt. Both Cloud and Onion Knight went to take advantage on Kefka's amusement, while Terra tried to keep Kuja together from such stupor. His magic never failed him like this until now.

Although she wanted to keep her attention on both the battlefield and the mage, she couldn't predict the way that Ultimecia would appear behind them, laughing. "... How imprudent to rebel to your master." she smirked to Kuja, and due shock they couldn't react immediately. Squall did instead, thrusting his blade upon the evil woman, but she easily managed to stop it through the blue iron spears that appeared ascending from the ground. "Our dance will have to wait, Squall. We've got a more important matter to attend."

Along her words, she casted a powerful spell of unknown source that hit the teen and roughly threw him to the ground. AAnd the impression was so big, that Terra left her guard down and didn't see the witch's heavy purple claw that would smack her in the face. The blow made her fall to the ground with a terrible pain flowing on her temples and escaping out her mouth in form of blood.

She felt muddled by the blow, but the only thought remaining untouched was that Kuja was in danger. Her senses made her move quickly, but as soon as she got back on her feet, she realized that she was surrounded by several dozens of sharp stalks on the air.

"Be a good child and don't move from there. Or I may fill your beautiful body with holes. If you wish to die, you may rather your friends to recognize your body, may you not?" said the witch, her dark purple claws rising, ordering her spell to track the girl's every move.

Terra felt trapped. It wasn't as if she was coward, but it'd be foolish to not recognize that there wasn't any chance of getting away of this deathtrap. Besides, the spikes were too close for her to even perform a shielding spell properly. Hadn't no choice but to listen to Ultimecia's warning and be still, watching helplessly whatever they'd do to Kuja.

However, Kuja's solidity was praiseworthy. Having Ultimecia face-to-face didn't seem to sacre him at all. "Are you here to slay me? Don't push your luck, gray hag." he said few inches from her tattoed pale face.

"Fearsome words for some coward you are."

"I don't see you trying to kill me, witch. And I don't advise you to provoke me further." Magic was shimmering on his left hand, but Ultimecia smiled cruelly and raised hers on command of the deadly spikes around Terra. Being counscious that she was in danger, it stopped him from invoking his spell secretly. "Just tell me what you want. You came here to execute me?"

At the same time he finished his answer, Terra heard a tremendous explosion on the side of the field where the rest of her friends were fighting. Most of tyhem were now lying on the ground burned and Kefka just leaping over their bodies with great fun. Terra was horrified, she needed to go and stop Kefka, but if she moved she'd die in vain. Kuja as well, was disquieted by the sight of the warriors defeated, groaning in pain.

"Who said something about slaying kittens? We just came here to retrieve you, my dearest friend." Kefka replied, walking teasingly near the girl and then placing his green bright eyes on the white mage.

Onion Knight slowly started to move again, tha pain of his injuries making it hard to stand up. "... W-what's the matter? All of sudden, they became stronger than last time we fought!" The others were barely breathing, Squall was still uncouncious and Cloud was too, Bartz trembling with hurt and Zidane scarcely rising his head up.

"This is what Kuja had warned us..." said Zidane, grunting because of his agony. He started to drag himself on the ground, seeing how all of sudden the silver haired mage fell on his knees. This too made the warrior maiden get anxious and desperate. "... Bastards!"

Kuja's shoulders were quivering, he seemed to struggle against a force that he couldn't see. "... My... body..." At that moment, Terra abruptly understood with great dread everything. Her own painful memories rised again at the moment Kefka's mental command did effect on the young man.

"Probably wondering why can't you move at will, Kujie-coo?" Kefka asked jeeringly as he walked around him without fear. And suddenly, when the jester stopped aside the wicked enchantress, he gave a rough kick on the youth's chest, making him fall to the ground. Kuja wasn't motionless at all, he could support himself on his arms, but couldn't do anything against the older man. "Well, IT'S ME WHO'S BEEN WONDERING why aren't you all drowsy over the trick. Usually at this point you should be just a slacken doll with no thoughts. It's surprising how fast has the charm weakened."

And again, Kefka abused of his power, trampling on the white mage's back with no compassion. Everyone witnessed this humiliation, and Terra begun to grow sick with frustration, powerless in the situation was driving her mad. Her power was starting to lose itself on her emotions, raging bright on a faint light she concealed lately.

"There's no use to regret now. We'll be able to fix that back at Chaos' domain." Ultimecia announced, not having as much fun as the other warrior of Chaos.

"No! Let him go!" she screamed, and at the same time, before the stalk could get through her, a dangerously powerful blast erupted through her very skin, destroying the magical spikes. This display of magic left everyone atonished, even herself, frightened more than all.

However, it consumed most of her energy and she was barely awake enough to see how were they opening a gate of the Rift and submerging Kuja into that door of darkness.

"Kuja!" It was Zidane who made it running before Terra could, but Kefka's soft spell of fire pushed them with great ease.

They were about to leave. The girl didn't want to give up yet. With shaking legs she walked following the Chaos' warriors, but her pace was so weak that they didn't even bother to stop her.

But then, she saw how did Kuja raised his head and looked at her.

"Terra, don't!" exclaimed, and she fell on her bottom, exhausted, devastated that this was the farthest she could go. "This is fine. It'll be over soon."

Those were the words he said before sinking completely into the gate of blackness along the harpy witch and the jester mage. "Bye-bye!" All the disability she felt punching through her chest while seeing the phantom of her past mocking her again.

His laughter echoed within all her defeated fellows.

The girl wanted to cry. He was captured and she couldn't do anything about it. And Zidane, beside her, creeping on his clothes full of dirt shared her mortification about their loss.

"Damnit... Why did this happen? Why?" he wailed gritting his teeth. "Shoot! WHY?"

Zidane could scream, could regret, he was free of yelling about this bereavement. She was different. It didn't just hurt her, but it destroyed all the confidence she built on herself because of Kuja. Now that he was gone, it was all falling apart.

"_I'm... sorry. I coudn't protect you after all._"

* * *

><p>"... To think we allowed you go to take your perfomance this far, Kuja..." said the Emperor while looking at the younger warrior with disdain as he lied on the gray floor of the shrine's main room, managing to get on his feet while every other Warrior of Chaos put their eyes on him. "You should probably feel lucky of not facing Chaos himself, for none of us shall say a word about this. Rejoice, you won't die here yet."<p>

Ultimecia continued, taking her clawed beastly feet too close of Kuja. "Unless you refuse to willingly cooperate with the our newest scheme, your life shall be forgiven."

The young man had his eyes in blank, giving an equal quantity of hatred to each cretin judging him in that room. But he held a special kind of brutish despise to the man behind the strings that controlled him from the very beginning.

Kuja was still dealing with the fact that his decissions and emotions were dominated by Kefka's hand, and so it fueled his desire of payback. It fed his contempt in burning crimsom.

And Kefka, foolish enough to keep his childish manners, interrupted the other's speech. "... Meh, it's not like he's going to keep his word anyways." The twisted clown stuck out his tongue to the young man. "He's got plenty energy left to give us a good fight here. See?"

Kefka was a destroyer. Destroyed his past, ruined his plans, broke the last of his sanity and with this last drop he demolished the only real chance of gaining redemption. Even now, if Kuja managed to kill all of the Chaos Warriors and the God of Discord, it would be his end. If Chaos died, so would the rest of the warriors he summoned.

But it was a fair price. Cosmos wouldn't have to sacrifice her life, and her chosen warriors would ultimately return to their worlds. They would have the opportunity of accomplishing their dreams. Zidane would go back home to where his loved ones were waiting...

And Terra would be given a destiny again.

If it all meant taking the life of all those demons and his own, he'd do it.

After all, that was the only thing he could do right.

Along this thoughts, a bright red began to flourish and swirl outside his skin and hair, taking form of thousands of scarlet feathers blooming from his body. He almost begun to feel like growing wings spliting his body open, but it wasn't a bad pain. It was like setting his sould free from a thorn that he had buried for long.

The transformation wasn't at its fullest, but it already managed to astonish everyone around. They would feel the threat already, because of the overwhelming magic fusing within his figure.

"Bow down and accept death with open arms, for _I am the Grim Reaper_." Kuja pronounced, allowing those new feelings vanish his boundaries. "If the end of this conflict comes with our demise, then so be it!"

Kefka, still the only one unimpressed, chuckled and booed at the Angel of Death. Kuja would make him sure to regret that.

"Yay, bring us some nice slaughter, pretty please!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wait, wasn't Cloud wounded last chapter? HE USED A FRIGGING POTION ON THE WAY. **

**I think it's pretty easy to predict what's soming next... if I weren't the author...**

**And yes, it's a coincidence I submit this chapter this day (Single Awareness Day, how I like to call it), because I couldn't finish it yesterday.**


	12. Pain

**edit (03/03/12): Some minor changes and corrections. Now the chapter looks pretty.**

* * *

><p><strong>XII. Pain.<strong>

Couldn't define with words her sorrow and hopelessness. She was mortified. She spent alone for hours, stepping on the prairies of Cosmos' domain. She still carried that purple armored bolero, feeling it colder inside her unprotected shoulders. She shuddered, embracing the guard tighter and noticed that fresh sweet scent on its fabric.

_It smelled like him._

She did not only failed to protect Kuja, but also his memory was also driving her crazy with anguish. Missing him was like reminding her how useless she was back then.

And the kid was following her, she could tell by the sound of his lighter steps behind her. It wasn't strange to be worried for her, after all they went through and witnessing their painful engagement, so the boy knew the pain... even now he was barely recovering from his wounds.

Terra briefly looked back at him wearing a patch of white clothe on his cheek—certain things that potions couldn't heal— and his funny helmet taken down, allowing his messy carrot hair breathe. Sighed woefully, closing her deep purple irides freezing inside.

"I'm sorry for making everyone get involved into this. It's my fault." she choked, for the nth time.

The couple of friends sat together on what seemed to be a fallen tree, not the most comfortable sitting place to be, but it was much better than just resting on the cold ground. They huffed at the awkward feeling of not knowing how to deal with each other anymore. They begun this journey along being so close and they slowly grew apart.

"And what are you going to do now?" asked the redhead.

"I have to go and find him. I need... at least I want to know what can I do for him."

"Terra, you've done enough."

"I didn't." Roughly, she turned her back to the child soldier. The pain twisting inside her chest swelled, with each word heating her open wounds. "I was weak and helpless! I couldn't do anything right to keep them from taking Kuja... Onion, I know that I can't make you change your mind, but _Kuja was also my friend_. Like you, like Cloud, like everyone who smiled kindly at me and gave me reasons to become stronger. That's why... I want to make it up."

"...If he meant that much to you... I don't know what to do, Terra."

"I wanted to be strong for him too. Because he could see something in me that others couldn't. I know he could. And then I realized that I was the same as him. I can't explain how what was all that."

The boy's features softened a little, but his eyes were drowned in sullen. "... I get it, you were able to relate to that man better than anyone of us. And that made you_ happy_."

"And that's why I need to save him."

"But what will happen to your other friends, Terra? Aren't they... _more important_?" Onion Knight got off the trunk in one leap. His once diminished expression developed again into anxiety. His words, for once, began to hurt her. "Look, I understand that you have feelings for that guy Kuja, but still, he was summoned on the side of the enemy! That could only mean that he's done awful things, and maybe he's up to continue...!"

The girl braced herself, staring at the ground, not him. "So then... why have you stayed with me all this time, Onion?" she whispered in agony. "I... used to be under Kefka's control too. Do you know what it means? I was your enemy too!"

She made him see. That was the only thing she managed to get through the boy. After his harmful speech, there was only salt on her wounds.

"Terra, I didn't... I-I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I've hurt you a lot too, didn't I? So we're fair." Terra spoke back, taking courage to look up at him again. She realized that, no matter how much she_ loved_ this boy, he wasn't going to aid her in any way, not even if he willed to. "But still... I need to do this. With or without you."

"... I'll have to think about it." the kid answered, deeply regretful of what he previously said. Being honest to her costed him a lot. "I'm still not sure if I can take this. After all, he's..." Onion didn't need to say it twice: he hated Kuja, for an understandable reason, and Terra wouldn't change that. "... For you I'd do it, but that man is just too much... _I wish you realized that I am..._ —Nevermind."

She offered one kind smile, even though it hurted. "It's okay. I understand, and that's why I won't try to convince you to come with me."

* * *

><p>The outcome was fierce, extremely violent. It was as if Kuja became some sort of devilish entity made of fire gliding all over the shrine like a shooting star, and begun to cast the most deadly enchants, each blow to be a sudden death after another.<p>

Golbez needed to get away as far as he could if he didn't want to become victim of this outrageous child.

He seemed like having a special focus on the Emperor, who was foolish enough to understimate Kuja's newly found power. He was going to get killed, without a doubt. The Angel of Death summoned a large amount of black spheres of energy that became exploding fire and thunder, but Mateus managed to gracefully dodge any harm. While others were expecting their turn to strike back to Kuja, they had little chances of doing it without getting struck by his mighty power.

The tyrant raised his long demonic staff to conjure magic of his own.

The Emperor laughed tauntingly at the tranformed young man. "You shall need more than that power to defeat me, Kuja..." He casted some violet shimmering under his feet, but before he could do anything else, Kuja flied with at full speed to the despot along murderous orbs of burning magic. "... What are y—?" Before that man could say else, a cry of anguish echoed at Chaos' Shrine as his body desintegrated in the air, in front of every other Chaos Warrior.

The many particles disappeared within the Chaos' dark mist. He'd be revived again soon thanks to their God's supreme power, but it'd take time. Perhaps the most splendid favor for a Warrior of Discord.

"One down... nine of them still remain." said the beasty mage, his breath almost resembled fire.

Seeing how easily Kuja vanished the Emperor was a most terrifying feeling for the armored dark mage. Kuja's magic was perhaps the most dangerous kind of power he ever saw, but it was running wild. Without any control, Golbez could only predict the worst to happen. The rage overflowing from the crimsom feathered being was almost tangible.

Ultimecia was keeping her distance to avoid any kind of fatal blows, and Kefka, well, he didn't seem worried at all, but doing exactly the same as the sorceress. Sephiroth and Jecht weren't trying to fight the white mage, but ocasionally used their own swords to block greater blasts against them. Exdeath, Garland and Cloud of Darkness were the most active within the battlefield.

The warrior Garland stood out to try his own power against Kuja. An unwise decission.

"A fool like you wouldn't kill me! Your image doesn't spur fear!" His skills with his great weapon were impressive, but as soon as the youngster unfolded his magic to his hands, Garland's thick armor became nothing but paper, tearing it with great ease.

Just one more blast of the monstrous magic did enough to make Garland meet the same fate as the Emperor. The way he exploded was barely different from what the manikins looked like when they broke to pieces.

Kuja then turned his head slowly towards the sky-blue bulky armored fiend, Exdeath. He wore a stiff pose of pride, but even Ultimecia now was fully aware of what kind of power they had to deal with. The knight of the Void, however, laughed at the red adversary's murderous attempts. The witch just hissed at her fellow warrior apprehensively.

She fluttered her black wings to lead her away from another nasty blast, and struggled to extinguish the fire left on her wings. Exdeath seemed unaffected.

"Fine, you can all separately die if you want, but teamwork would seem to be a more reliable choice..." she muttered, disgusted of his unconcern.

But the Void spawn laughed again proudly. "So likely to come from a fearful sorceress like you. You can't stop him without assistance and that's a sign of...!"

Exdeath never finished that sentence. Out of his carelessness, the young mage approached with a lethal Flare craft and pierced a hole deep within Exdeath's figure. Giving him some seconds to agonize, Kuja finished him by tearing him apart with a precise blow of his strongest Holy spell.

"You couldn't be more accurate, witch." said the young man, sending a deadly stare at the Time Sorceress. She didn't quiver but stiffened defiantly. "Now, your time has reached an end!"

Ultimecia as she was, barely could be match for his savage powers, as he was driven by great resentment... and it was just matter of time until she couldn't contain him anymore within all the corrosive explotions he provoked.

Although Golbez wouldn't mind seeing most of Chaos Warriors die, Kuja's rampage would eventually lead all to their doom... including him.

But, would Kuja's power be enough to match Chaos himself? Kefka, watching from the corner, didn't seem to care. After all, it was him along Ultimecia and the Emperor who carried away this plan for the raging mage. Perhaps... Kefka's true power was yet to be seen, otherwise he wouldn't look so lighthearted.

The harpy witch invoked several destructive spells, in hopes to stop the youth, but each one was deemed less effective than the last. Even if she made him bleed, painting him redder than before, he wouldn't cease to attack. She received a forceful blow of fire on her right arm, nearly leaving it useless because of the burning; but pain wasn't enough to slacken her defenses.

"I shan't become prey of some brat's gripes!" she grunted, flying as fast as she could to gain some space. Kuja chased her with lightning restlessly, beaming sadistically at her distress. Cloud of Darkness wasn't fast enough to reach out for the mad youth to contain his power, her tentacles here utterly destroyed by him not long ago.

Golbez prepared himself to see Ultimecia destroyed, but noticed how the clown began to move from his little hidden seat.

"Need some help here, Ulty?" he chuckled, fastly jumping to get a hold of Kuja's back before he could again shoot another Ultima blast. It looked almost easy how he clasped his arm around the young man's neck. Kuja, of course, strived on getting away from Kefka's clutch, but turning out unsuccesful. Then, in a desperate attempt of getting rid of the jester, crushed his back against the floor along his captor, but the mad mage just surrounded the morphed warrior's waist with his legs in order to don't let go. "How about calming down, you little monster? Oh my! Is this a tail?" Indeed, Kefka was yanking at Kuja's unusual limb and he reacted violently, grappling but unable to use a spell to take him off. "I found the monkey's big brother!

"LET ME GO!" the young male screeched, for the first time attempting to use his own physical force to undo Kefka's hold. But the harlequinn seemed to be winning.

"I think not!" Kefka yelled back, twisting his grip on Kuja's abnormal tail.

It was beyond strange seeing both mages wrestling in the ground. Although Kuja's rage took shape of thunder and fire surrounding his aura, it was far from affecting his foe, who was taking over little by little.

But the youth wouldn't give up, not so easily in the most humiliating way possible. The beastly being grabbed with his grown black nails Kefka's arm around his neck and began conjuring one small spell. It was beginning to burn the clown's yellow sleeve and his pale skin turning dangerously black.

Recognizing the hazard he was exposed to, the magical jester quickly moved his arm from Kuja's neck and used his boney hand to cover the youth's eyes, apparently. Everyone immediately knew what was Kefka trying to do now. The morphed mage started to scream, with all his might trying to get rid of the vile clown's hand.

"NO! RELEASE ME!" he kept on fighting, but a mystic blue shine ran across Kefka's fingers straight to Kuja's face, apparently electrocuting him. It was just a matter of time that he'd fall unconscious because of the spell. The red feathers were beginning to fade like dust, gradually returning him to his former self. "...Not this..." he gasped, before he finally fainted.

Kefka carefully took his hands away from the youth, completely vanquished and defenseless.

"What took you so long? You waited to act after three of our comrades were vanished." Ultimecia protested, approaching hatefully at them, her arm still bleeding and smoking. The jester just shook his shoulders uncaring.

"I don't know. It was so much fun to see you trying to control this little bastard._ Oopsie_." he chuckled.

"... Do you even realize what are you doing, ravenous clown? Kuja at his full potential is even deadlier than that Terra girl. What could possibly make you want her more than him?" The witch demanded an explanation. She didn't take her wounds lightly, for it was quite hard to even graze her.

And Ultimecia was right. Seeing the devastating length of Kuja's power made Kefka's previous play-thing seem like some inferior tool. But the blonde madman smirked while he was taking the fallen Reaper's head with both hands, dragging him carelessly on the floor.

"Ooh... _She's a special one_! Although him looking like a girl helps a lot too!"

Golbez circled the scene quietly, leaving no trace of his growing concern.

The harpy just grunted in disgust and flipped her majestic wings to fly away. "... I shouldn't have asked."

* * *

><p>It was all quiet, and even when the other warriors, like Cecil and Firion dropped by to comfort her in any way they could, she couldn't weigh them with all her troubles. She didn't feel the strength to ask them for help.<p>

As soon as she returned to Cosmos' Sanctuary, she met with another friendly moogle, a tiny fluffy guy who grew rather fond of her quickly—as soon as she gently stroked his cute red pompon—, so besides helping her get a new costume, but also accepted to take care of the guard that Kuja lended to her until she came back. _She expected to give it back to his owner._

Terra bought a radically different wardrobe, even though she never thought about an extreme change from her usual clothing, because it was more like she took those pieces that seemed to fit her shape and looked light to wear. She didn't think that the dress would expose this much of her skin, because her tummy was completely open to view.

Instantly, she remembered what Kuja said about his own lack of clothing.

She wore a black top with flower patterns—she seemed to be adopting a great attachment for these kind of trims—with some fine transparent capes of blue, gray and white, and a small skirt with black and white stripes joined with sky blue fabric underneath. She changed her footwear as well, using some gray little boots that were designed in a similar way like her red ones. She also bought light-blue gloves, which made her arms feel rather bare, because of being used to wear the long red ones. She vaguely wondered how much practical would this attire be for battles, _would she be lighter? or maybe more vulnerable?_

For the final touch, she rearranged her hair, changing her broken ribbon for a black jeweled hair brooch to hold her messy blonde mane. It still felt loose on her hair, but it managed to keep it together. She also wore a small necklace charm of the same blueish tone, said the moogle it helped to make her less vulnerable to magic attacks, though she was doubtful about that fact.

Regardless her outfit, what mattered the most was what she'd do next. Sure, she said that she'd go to find Kuja at Chaos' reigns, but she hadn't organized any plans whatsoever. It wasn't as if she wished to travel alone and unprepared, but she already caused so many problems to her friends. Though it didn't matter what choice she made, because eventully they would realize her location and they'd follow her in hopes to bring her back or maybe help her.

She'd at least go to buy some supply potions for herself to get started. Walking around the Sanctuary's feet, Terra went to find the moogle again so he could sell her more items—because she was careless enough to don't ask for them in the first place—. But as soon as she spotted the little merchant, she realized she was being followed by more than one person. Of course, she was used to let her guard down; most of Cosmos warriors were reunited in these areas and she relaxed her acumen because of being inside a friendly territory.

It was Zidane again, but the girl didn't find herself being in the mood of seeing him. There were so many feelings about him and his relationship with Kuja, many that she couldn't understand just yet. After the story she heard from him, several emotions were rising against Zidane, not remorseful, but addled.

Nervously, the young thief walked around the girl, briefly looking at her new get-up. "Hey, Terra... those clothes... they look suiting. You also cut your hair?"

"Zidane... Uhm, not exactly. I just fixed my ponytail into a bun..." she replied, entwining her fingers to the little curls that escaped from her brooch. "My clothes were ragged, so I needed new ones. That's why Kuja borrowed me a piece of his clothing." she recalled shyly.

"That's uh... nice from him." he shrugged slightly. It wasn't very likely of Zidane to be this timorous; he was even playing to draw lines on the ground with his feet while he got his hands inside his pockets. "Are you going to Chaos' territory to find him?" he suddenly asked before swallowing his guts. "Let me join you."

_Kuja had justified his reasons to hate Zidane, but it wasn't the teen's fault at all. And she still had to take into consideration Zidane's own point of view to judge their bonds._

Terra bit her lower lip and stared at him in calm. "... He called you _brother_. Are you really...?"

"No idea. But I guess so. Would make sense in so many awkward ways..." he chuckled dryly. "Just when I thought I'd finally get to see what was he really like, that ugly lady and that clown showed up and ruined everything. All this time manipulated by them and noboby could do a thing." It was clear that Zidane was affected by it just as much as she was. "I'm so frustrated about this that I won't feel any better until I can kick those freaks in the face."

"Can I go too?" said the man who came out of his hideout within the ivory walls of the sacred fortress. Terra waasn't even surprised that Cloud was watching her after all this time.

"Yo, what's up Cloud." Zidane waved as the other soldier came passing.

"I told you to let me know if you needed help with Kuja." Cloud said to the girl. Of course she remembered, but this wasn't what she wanted. It was just Cloud's desire.

At this point, Terra was fully aware that it didn't matter if she wanted to go alone: her friends would anyways follow her shadow for Kuja's sake, regardless her feelings about him. It didn't discouraged her, but it was somehow relieving to know they weren't doing this for her; she wouldn't know how to carry on that weight.

"Guys... After everything I made you go through... I don't know what to say; thank you."

Cloud nodded and looked at her with quiet concern. "You're going into a risky territory, and those two won't be the only ones expecting you. If we want to have at least some chance of saving Kuja, we should go well-prepared."

"Although... not everyone is willing to risk their lives for Kuja." she replied, dropping her gaze down along the thought. "I know he's hardly worthy of all this concern." But something she said obviously made Zidane fret, and so he walked in front of her with opposing fiery eyes.

"Terra, don't you dare speaking like that again. It was you who saw something good on him in the first place! And you managed to prove yourself right!" he alleged aloud, making the girl step back startled. "You _love_ him a lot, don't you? Well, act as if you do, you lady! don't give us such a grim speech!" Terra didn't remember seeing him so mad. Even Cloud looked surprised.

"... Zi-zidane... what are you saying...? Do I love...?" she stuttered blushing fiercely, and Zidane immediately took back his words.

"Hey, I'm sorry for yelling. I shouldn't have done that... Uh... Terra, I'm very sorry. I should have asked first what were your feelings about him. But... you _like_ him a lot, right?"

At this point, the older warrior interfered. "Zidane means that you _strongly care_ about him." he said, contrastingly cool than the teenage monkey-tailed. "You just see him as a very important friend, don't you?"

"Cloud..."

"... That's some nice speech, Cloud. You'd better give more of those more often." Zidane said smirking confidently. "You're being a little more open, huh? That's good. I don't know how you make it work, but it sure makes our princess feel better."

It also made Terra smile, something she thought impossible by now. Cloud showed a strange distorsion on his mouth, as if he was going to give in too. But they never saw it come out, Cloud's smile. He was more aware than them that this wasn't time to be lighthearted.

"I gotta go." he turned back calmly. "Gonna try talking to them to see what can be done."

Terra hesitated one second, but then followed her forlorn friend's steps. "Maybe... you shouldn't do it alone. I need to give them my reasons too, if we want to convince them."

"... Alright."

And triggered his more cheerful side, coming beside the mage girl. "Hey, don't you leave me outta this!"

Terra watched him close for a longer while and realized just how Zidane managed to deal with all that rage and anxiety. He simply smiled with his head up. It was sure painful, but this way just made it look easier. It was lighter.

* * *

><p>Overwhelmed by soreness, it took him several minutes to piece his thoughts together again. He was extremely drained and his body felt cold. First, he begun recapping the past events that led him to this place, lying numb upon a dark pillar leftside the Old Chaos' Shrine, injured and powerless.<p>

There it was Terra, using his precious purple bolero, then it was Zidane with his group of friends, and there was Terra's soft finger curling with his. Then Ultimecia and Kefka came... they took him back to this place and his mind went blank for a while. He had in mind one thing only: kill Chaos and his pawns. _Save her_. There was destruction, ashes and blood. Kefka's hand...

He was defeated. No, he was subdued and tamed. By that joker's dirty tricks. This was the apex of humiliation.

Kuja tried to move his bruised body, feeling the heavy ardor stinging through his limbs, making him spasm to the feeling. _When did he got all these bruises?_ Trance protected him from the hurt most of time, but once he was out of it, if he recalled correctly, all the damage would come out mercilessly even though his body was particularly resistant to any kind of injuries. It wasn't a wise decission to fight them all at once.

'_This is not right. I shouldn't waste my time with these whelps. Chaos is a mayor priority..._' His legs were trembling as he pulled his weight up and aided his back against the pillar, discovering how pitiful was his current physical state.

Still, he managed to give a few steps, shuddering at each sound he made, because he couldn't tell if he was being watched by others right at this moment. Besides, he was too tired to actually cast any kind of magic to help him out of here. He'd like to teletransport at will, but it'd take too many magic. He pushed his body too far already, and it wouldn't be wise bursting out his last bits of power.

The white mage heard a funny snigger behind the shadows and he quickly turned his head back, but not capable of seeing that unwanted watcher.

Kuja sighed and tried to walk faster—for a lame runner he admited he was—, but was suddenly pulled back by a hand that seized his uncovered tail. "And where do you think you're going, dolly?" his annoying voice rumbled to his ears as he was forced to a rough fall on his bottom. The young man tried to get back on his feet, but the grip on his tail hurted more than he wanted, it felt almost as if the hand wanted to break that hairy long extremity of his.

"Let me go..." he demanded with surprinsingly weak voice, and by response his tail was yanked harder and made him sit still against the pillar. "Stop it! Let go of me or I'll burn you—!"

"Nah-ah! Like you've got energy left for perfoming such a move!" Kefka replied, his blunt nails only digging deeper on his supple skin.

"Let it go now!" he moaned, just thinking on how was he unabble to take the pain. His tail could be broken by now, even bleeding, but the pain wouldn't cease. "Let it go..."

There wasn't anything he could do. Staying still wouldn't make the hurt wash away, but it'd help to focus on what was important.

"I bet you're thinking about my precious doll right now, aren't you, _Kujie-coo_?" said Kefka, teasingly laying his mouth close to the youht's left ear. Kuja knew enough of this clown's antics to predict what was coming after this chat. "Oh, don't give me that look. I ain't her daddy. If you jerk off thinking about her, I won't cut your balls or something."

"... You make me sick. Please rip out your throat and bleed to death."

"Terra is a most lovely girl, isn't she? I do wonder... if she has ever returned to you that big favor, you sissy ape." Kefka brused thefingers of his free hand in a most tender way against the youth's temples. "Maybe she'd let you do anything to her. I can tell what kind of perverted thoughts would come out from you just by your looks. You can't fool anyone."

"Would that make you upset, Kefka?" And again, he dared. At least he had enough strength to do that. "That she yields to me willingly, while you can't even make her listen to you with the most dreadful tricks?"

He felt the slow enchanting smile widening on the sadictic jester's painted face. A chill drilled on Kuja's backbone, but acted as if not.

"... You have no idea of _what has this girl done under my strings_. Do you want me to go for the dirty details?" he purred, his stenching breath tickling on the young man's earlobe. "Oh, I can assure you that I've got plenty material to _make you scream_."

The sole mention of him doing things to Terra made him want to vomit. His brain couldn't take what his imagination compelled him to. Kuja wanted with all his might to make Kefka's mouth be torn to shreds.

"Shut it." his dry voice hissed.

"Or maybe should I tell you _all the super-nice things you did for me_ when I asked you to? Oh, yes, that'd be the icing of the cake."

"SHUT IT!"

Kefka cracked up and coarsely grabbed the silver hair along the feathers growing there and pulled him to the ground; Kuja felt his nose and lips striking against the stone, though it didn't made him bleed the pain cursed through every inch of his pale face. He remained in the floor, breathing heavily, knowing that his tail was still being held by that bastard. This was one of the reasons he had to conceal his tail, because, knowing how to grab it, the enemy could make him fall into a dangerous state of immobility. Kefka learned this trick rather fastly.

The madman leaned close again to Kuja's ear. "But you know what really made me upset all this time along? Having SO much in common with a lame drag like you, it all went to waste when you began to think that any other existence had value. You could have been such a perfect agent of Chaos if you kept losing yourself into your madness!" he muttered hatefully, and Kuja felt the urge of closing his ears. "Because after all... you do not desire anything from this life. We both find our pleasure on seeing this world falling apart! We could have made this worthless existence come to an end, you see?"

"I am not like you."

"No, of course you're not! You began cling to life like the rat you are. You began hold on to a dream you cannot reach." At this speech, Kuja grunted unwillingly, feeling the grasp on his appendage tightened to hard he thought it'd get severed. "Do I know what you dream? Yes, I do! I do know you better than any of those idiots." Kuja just wanted the harlequinn to shut up. His head was hurting so much. "Or maybe it is more simple than we think, huh? You just want her for you, am I right? You just want to live for_ her_, don't you, sick bastard?... But the good ol' Kefka is going to tell you a secret;"

The pause seemed endless, the tension making each second of it unbearable. Kuja never felt so sick, everything hurted and it was getting hard to breathe. He wanted to go back to _her_, to once again be delighted by her pure smile, to be swallowed into such joy and forget everything that made his existence unpleasant. He just wanted to be with her, one last time, for the last thing he ever saw from her was her pain: the one thing he wanted to change from her.

"Once I die... she will cease to exist."

Those filthy words creeped into Kuja. Enough words to make him lose his last of sanity and scream.

He wouldn't believe that. He wouldn't give Kefka that pleasure.

With defiance on his dark eyes, Kuja rised his head and stared coldly at him. "Liar... I'm going to destroy you." he mustered, hot rage slowly building up his throat.

Kefka didn't care, but the corners of his purple-painted mouth twisted into a most large and fiendish smile.

"Ladies first!" As he squealed, a greater force kicked the youth's head, just showing how lacking of mercy would the next strikes be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think I could have done a better battle scene for the Chaos fellas. And well, although my character preferences are clearly exposed in here (you can see how unfairly Kuja's awesomeness ended up destroying three badass characters, I'm sorry), I personally don't think there's one character significantly stronger than other... but... PLOT. **

**Also: YANKING KUJA'S MONKEY TAIL DOESN'T IMPLY SEXUAL INNUENDO. NOT. AT. ALL.**

**About Kefka's small chat with Kuja, well... uh... yeah... It doesn't really need to be true, okay? You know that Kefka is such a tease sometimes and takes joy on tormenting others. But I'll leave that to your imagination, I need to keep this fanfic "T", so...**


	13. At his Darkest Hour

**I apologize for the long delay. It's been almost a month since I've last updated. And sorry for the short chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>XIII. At his Darkest Hour.<strong>

Each hour that passed by made it harder for him to keep his mind together. He was sure he once knew exactly what were they scheming above his bruised head and why were they keeping him alive. But now he was riddled. Perhaps they hit his head too many times. Or the times they stabbed him, electrocuted or set him on fire. Could no longer tell.

Chaos' gift sure was a most cruel punishment right at this point. Although it became a handy advantage for long cycles of war, for each warrior couldn't care about getting heavily wounded after a battle; the injuries would eventually heal by themselves, not immediately, but still at a rather fast pace. And dying wasn't a big problem either: Chaos was the one to decide if the pawn should revive for the defined cycle, werether the pawn was still useful or not. Probably the God of Discord already knew about the youth's mischiefs, hence that'd be enough reason for him to don't revive the white mage for the rest of the conflict.

But still, his wounds healed over the exhausting hours of imprisonment, therefore Chaos wasn't going to let him die yet. Kuja understood his situation at its fullest: the chaotic warriors needed to recurringly beat him and keep him hurt in order to restrain him while preserving his life.

_For how longer?_

They wouldn't wait until he was broken. No. This was going to end when they could not longer find any more use of him. He was still alive because he was still useful for their purposes.

The young man spent most of time lying against that damned pillar at the bottom of the obscure shrine, unchained but unable to move because of ardent agony he was constantly submissed into. His silk clothes were ruined into rags and dried blood and his once beautiful silver hair lost shine and now beared the same red dirt of his clothes. Sometimes, when he hadn't any energy at all, he allowed his bruised slim body to lie down on the chilly floor of smooth stone, the cold acting as some sort of comfort for his throbbing wounds. It didn't help at all, but his mind wanted to convince him that it did.

The only characters who'd come for the routinely beating were Ultimecia, Garland, Kefka and Emperor Mateus. This last one emphatically brutal when it came to punishment, and being the only one who managed to torture the youth until making him lose consciousness. Perhaps the tyrant took his defeat very personally—and painfully—, thus using such gruesome methods of torment would be explained. With anger at its finest, the Emperor easily made the other three seem like some children playing with a broken doll; Mateus didn't hurt the young man for the most fair amount of damage but for the most excessive quantity of throe, taking great satisfaction and joy from it, and of course, caring of not killing the jailbird.

The agony was tearing him apart from his frail perception of reality. When he was falling in and out of cognizance, sometimes couldn't tell if he was still awake of just dreaming of being tortured. It did not longer matter.

He wasn't a man to complain about his fate. He deserved this.

After all he did, this hell was just fit for a monster like him. That pain was to pay all what he inflicted to others in the past.

'_... I was after this. I brought this to myself, so there's no reason I should..._'

He used to fight for a cause. A good one, he recalled in the numbness.

A very gentle maiden fought for him. She gave him a single moment of pure happiness. She accepted him even after knowing him. Terra. The girl he was capable of making smile, smile for him alone and no one else. She gave him a true smile, just for him. O how he was enamoured of those rosy lips yearning for another tomorrow, one day that he wasn't meant to belong.

For a moment, he lost sight of _Terra_. The Terra he couldn't destroy.

* * *

><p>There wasn't anything he could do for the young man without putting in risk everything he built up so far. For him, the most important thing he had was Cecil, his younger brother. Ever since he became aware of the unending conflict, all what Theodore ever cared about was to help his younger brother to pass through this war, and perhaps... No, even now he wouldn't be able to follow him home. His Cecil had a life, people he loved awaiting for his return. Golbez hadn't any of those aside his brother.<p>

That could be the main reason he could relate to Kuja's matter. The young man also knew he was no longer welcome in the world he used to exist in, for he had sins to purge as well.

This penance wasn't any fair. Kuja had to be punished, but for his crimes. The one time he actually did something to correct his mistakes he had to end up like this. But of course, justice had its own twisted ways to work within Chaos' lines.

Seeing the young man lying almost dead on that corner, just awaiting for the next round of beating. Golbez uncosnciously measured the hours between each time, becoming restless about watching the tortured mage.

He wanted to help. Release him from such torment.

His whereabouts were already suspicious, because everyone noticed how often he closed his routine path near Kuja's corner. It seemed as everyone else was expecting him to make his next move, in order to give them the perfect excuse to strike him, just like they did to Kuja.

Jecht showed up remorsing, as much as he did. The tanned swordsman had a good heart, Golbez knew, but he usually seemed to mind his own business all the time, almost never messing his nose anywhere. The man was obviously struggling on werether leaving Kuja alone or saving him.

They argued about the matter quietly outside, without giving away any kind of revealing information. Jecht was the father of one of the Harmony Warriors, and nobody was believing him capable of killing his own son, anyways they left him be. But to aid Kuja would also frame him as a traitor.

They both had everything to lose on such a crusade, for a young man who was only capable of gaining their sympathy through his agony.

It wasn't fair for them nor Kuja.

One hing they had for sure, or at least Jecht hoped for: there was a special lady who'd come to save the prince in distress. Golbez wasn't confident for the outcome of this tragedy however; the scenario was developing just too... smoothly on Chaos' plain.

Deep in his heart, he desired the girl to fail on her quest, for only misfortune awaited at her success.

* * *

><p>Although falling asleep was nearly impossible at this world, as such necessities like feeding and else, exhaustion didn't spare any warrior from its grasp and sometimes motivated her to close her eyes and pretend she was capable of sleeping. She could also have dreams. They came to her often naturally, almost as if she was opening the doors of her mind and wait for them to unveil.<p>

She remembered telling her partners about this, that she could have dreams, though never quite explained of what they were about. she just had dreams and nothing else.

There were also bad dreams sometimes. But it was time to wake-up and move foward.

Hope was flying high above their spirits, as the three friends were lucky to recruit two more of their comrades into their perilous mission on Kuja's deliverance. The Weaponsmaster Firion seemed hesitant at first, but having a previous experience with a non-wicked soldier of Chaos made him trust on his friend's words. Convincing the Dark Knight Cecil turned out to be easier, for his crystal-clear bonds with another warrior of Discord were the main reason he differed from the skeptical part of the group.

Terra grew a little impatient, having to wait for them to prepare their equipment. She was about to complain aloud, but they were all fully aware of how grave was the situation; she didn't want to push her friends. But each minute that passed by was another minute of not knowing what would it be of Kuja.

Again, her dark thoughts invaded her vision for the worst possible scenario to be imagined. He was at Kefka's mercy, and... '_I... don't... I musn't think about that! He's strong and he cannot be... He wouldn't._'

They were almost done with their equipage, at the white feet of the Sanctuary's tower, while she was calmly facing the outside deserted plains.

"Are we ready to depart?" asked Cecil, pulling out a brown bag, seemingly too small for all the things he needed.

"We might be a little stuffed of supplies. We shall revise our equipment once more to discard what isn't necessary, right?" said Firion, putting down a very heavy bag of leather, the thing left a crater on the ground.

Zidane didn't seem happy for the routine. "Oh, man... _again_? Alright, I guess."

Only remained quiet, for she perfectly knew that she didn't need to revise her items once again, Terra made sure of carrying all what was needed to travel. Cloud at her side wasn't looking nervous however, holding of some few supplies for himself. There was a stern glimmer on his blue irises, making her but to wonder about his thoughts, vaguely guessing if he felt like she did about this matter.

It was beyond clear that they were heading to a dicey mission, and the chances of succesion were nearly null.

The girl leaned close to his right side and whispered: "I was thinking, Cloud... Am I the only one who thinks that this might be a trap?"

"... To be honest, I thought like that all along. Yes, I'm sure we're heading towards a trap, Terra." he answered, ever so little troubled, and his knuckles tightened at his black leather gloves. "But don't let those thoughts riddle you. They took Kuja knowing that you wouldn't hesitate of rescuing him; they're playing dirty."

"I've gotten scared." she muttered, closing her eyes for a couple of seconds. She noticed the sound of her own voice trembling down her throat. "Today I've dreamed that we'd be arriving at Chaos' place and Kuja'd be... no longer there. I realized that we cannot be sure that he'll be still alive once we arrive. We don't know."

"Don't lay your hopes down. We're going to find him. We must find him."

Terra sighed silently and ran her fingers up her face. She couln't stop thinking about Kuja's pending fate and how it burdened on her back. "The last thing he said was that '_it'd be over soon_'. What do you think he meant? I've been trying to figure it out for these last hours..."

"I'm afraid that I'm as lost as you." Cloud replied shaking his shoulders.

"... I wanted a second opinion. I begun to believe that he wanted to..." She had a theory. From the half of Kuja that she already knew, there was one thing he'd be capable to do. "... No, it's ridiculous."

"What?"

It was fairly twisted. Kuja was capable, but not willing... _wasn't he?_ "I thought that he'd go to destroy Chaos on his own."

Cloud stared at the girl with feeble shock, and he was about to say something in response...

"Guys? Watcha talking about? We gotta go!" it was Zidane waving his arm to them urged to leave at once; him among everyone was the most mortified, perhaps even more than Terra herself.

"... We're coming!"

* * *

><p>It was Mateus who'd take the most of fun at times. The man of golden hair and demonic adornments became much physical with his retribution lately, at times not just using his own staff to hit him or stab him. Sometimes the Emperor took much more satisfaction on kicking him and trampling him. The Time Witch was beginning to get bored of just watching.<p>

The tyrant held Kuja's neck against the wall, not choking him, but to hold him still while he used his satanic pole to push it against the young man's body to see how long it'd take it to tear the flesh inwards. Probably too sadistic to watch for some of the warriors, but Mateus was enjoying it thoroughly, leaving awful bruises on the slender youth's stomach and thighs.

There was little endeavor this time, and the screaming less sharp than previous times. Was he running out of blood, perhaps? It didn't matter. This wasn't enough to kill the brat.

"He fainted too fast... This isn't amusing anymore." He tossed the bloodied mage to the floor and shook his hand because of the crimsom droplets sticking to his gorgeous jeweled armor.

Kuja was just lying there numb and limbless, his eyes were open but blank and was barely breathing on hiw own, though his body wasn't shaking like before. The red was oozing coldly from his recent injuries and his silver hair locks sprawled all over his dead-pale face, adding him a most devastated look. The witch sighed and leaned close to Kuja, observing him closely.

"May his spirit be broken yet?" she murmured, curling her scarlet lips to a soft smile.

"He won't longer try to escape at this point." The despot recognized her desire to spend more time with the broken warrior, so he waved his large cape of purple and turned his back, taking his withdraw. "... I shall leave him under your mercy then."

Once the Emperor was gone, Ultimecia took a hold of Kuja's neck and forced him to sit back with against the wall. She heard a grunt. "... There, there. You can quit your perfomance now. You may be able to fool them, but not me." The bruised beautiful face distorted with hurt as the sorcceress parted her own distance to have a complete view of his destroyed figure. "You must feel proud of possessing such skills of acting, secondly of holding a great willpower although you've been broken so many times. I admit you've earned some small respect from me."

The harpy woman sensed the gray-blue eyes of that mage staring at her hatefully. Slowly, he licked his lips dried by blood, revealing just how discoloured they turned after such tortures. He cleared his throat, letting out some arid sound that was supposed to be his voice, wasted after too much screaming.

"... I'd not call it willpower. I'm just a brilliant actor, and that's all..." he said, scarcely smirking.

He was expecting her to attack, maybe a rough slap to begin with, or perhaps a spell to set him on fire. Though his face held a still defiant look, his shoulders were trembling uncontrollably._ He was waiting for death_. Seeing him so afraid pleased the devilish woman beyond words.

"Do not fear, my child. You're not allowed to die until we fulfilled our goal."

He spitted blood from his mouth, but hadn't enough force to aim the witch's face. "What... brings the Emperor's concubine to such a filthy place anyways?" he asked arrogantly.

"Willing to be rude on your conditions?"

"I have... nothing left to lose. You do nothing but to beat a dead horse."

"Putting it that way, then I suppose you won't mind being bait for that sibling of yours... and_ the girl_." she smirked, teasingly touching the youth's cheek with the tip of her poisonous claw. He did not even flinch, but pure hatred was pouring out of his eyes, glowing in a dim red.

"... You won't be able to kill her." he retorted in deep voice. He was still in fear, but had enough fight residing beneath his skin.

"_My_, but who said anything about killing her?" Out of the dense shadows, the colorful harlequinn made his appearance, walking ungainly towards the evil witch.

"Kefka, must you interrupt us now? Get a hold of your sadistic impulses for one minute."

"You damn old witch, you weren't going to pull out your charms without my supervision, were you?" he screeched, turning his wide green eyes to the young man. Kuja twitched when their gazes met.

"And why should I need YOUR watch, can I wonder?" the spellcaster continued.

Kefka snorted, shamelessly snapping his pale fingers to her face. "We made a deal. Now, get your absurdly big claws to work your part, if you please, woman!"

The wicked woman frowned, flipping her huge wings menacingly. "Fine. But if I were you, I'd take care of how you adress me." Of course, the young man wasn't fully aware of what were they scheming, so he quickly forced his arms and legs to move, though he could barely crawl hopelessly; Kefka laughed and got on his way, kicking the white mage's chest. "Don't struggle or I'll make it more painful than needed, Kuja."

The madman grabbed Kuja's left arm and lifted it with great ease, clutching his fingers so hard around his wrist it froze any blood circulation. But Kefka didn't just stop there. He liked to use more strength than necessary to twist it and cause a great deal of pain to the younger man. However, Kuja did not even wince at such agression. It only provoked the clown to do worse.

"Impressive. How many times have you screamed when I broke your wrist, little bitch? You're just so good at hiding your agony, aren't you? No wonder why do you make such a fine doll!" he whispered, while he held with his other hand the white mage's chin, at the same time breaking the wrist in one painful audible '_crack_'. The scream that followed was reduced to a more subtle moan. But his whole body was shaking;_ that was good_. "Getting it finished already? My poor fingers are all cramped!"

"It doesn't take little time for this kind of spell. I'm not going for mediocre magic like you did, clown." Ultimecia was casting a blueish shimmer with her keen fingers, its shine begun to vary the colors with green and yellow, turning into shards of what seemed to be glass. It all fused into the shape of a small spike of crystal, twinkling with fierce orange and red.

Wordlessly she ordered she clown to step aside. The glimmer of the instrument she created reflected on her golden shaded eyes, as she smirked with mischief. Kuja knew this was bad, although he hadn't much idea of what was going to happen. _He feared death. O, he waited death_. And it was all at the edge of the sorceress' claws.

If the fallen warrior was going to die, it'd be for his captors' amusement. He was held to die after all.

Ultimecia aimed the angular spike towards the young man. "Now, this shan't come off." she purred at last with her dark velvet voice.

Or maybe something of more sinister nature was awaiting him at the end of this. The scintillating dagger of crystal was fired directly to his face.

* * *

><p>Arriving to the Land of Discord, swamped by a dark sky along red lands and lava rivers, they all simultaneously sensed the concentration of power coming from west, were the warring god had his place... same spot they were supposed to find Kuja. The girl's heart accelerated.<p>

The group of warriors paced into the dismal plains, and barely spoke to each other due their own disconcert of their surroundings. Terra was specially scared, even though she remained between all the guys, she didn't feel soothed enough. Ever since they begun to wander into these lands, she felt a strange shiver echoing behind her neck, as if someone was whispering words of grief every time.

There was one moment when she stopped walking to cover her ears, but it was inside her head.

It wasn't just a sound of words. It was a sensation cursing through her mind. Soon she felt the warm tears flowing from her eyes. That was _his_ voice. He was inside her. He was still alive out there somewhere. But it wasn't joy what she felt by knowing this.

The agony was burning in her chest, his suffering, his despair, his sadness and anger... all blended together on the weak whispers only she could listen.

'_Terra... if you can hear me... I want you to turn back. You can't come here; you musn't let you friends come here. If you truly care about me, obey my last will and don't let this massacre be. Don't let them leap into suicide for me... I'm already grateful of what you did to me, so don't crucify yourself. If you get killed for my cause, I won't be able to die in peace..._'

The esper girl wanted to talk back to him, but she couldn't. He was in so much pain, she feared of causing him a greater distress by telling her friends about this and make him talk more than he could. Kuja's mind voice sounded as if he was about to cede to pain; and Terra wasn't sure if she'd be able to take it anymore.

'_... My Canary...__ I think that now I understand what I truly feel. Thank you._'

His voice fainted as fast as that ultimate beautiful thought. The girl wished to cry out aloud, burn and break... To do anything in order to save him. She knew she had to find him, at least to see him one last time.

They all stared back at her in fright, noticing the feelings growing stronger on her, transmuting into violent energy surrounding her magical aura. But she calmed as soon as their concern became obvious.

The feelings were too powerful now. She trained to control her magic, but not to deal with her own emotions.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Kuja is just too beautiful to be beaten to pulp. Even though I can write a lot of grotesque stuff, I can't really picture Kuja's absurdly gorgeous face deformed by bruises. I just can't. If he isn't looking fabulous, then it can't be Kuja. Hopefully I didn't make those scenes too obscenely violent, because I want to keep it T for goodness sake.**

**You can find some new Kuja/Terra fanarts made by me (not necessarily linked to this fanfic) at my DeviantArt account _92-pink-ravens_... just if you're interested.**


	14. Shattered Wonder

**Sorry to make you wait. Got a writer's block at the beginning of holidays.**

* * *

><p><strong>XIV. Shattered Wonder<strong>.

Terra unsheathed her slim sword to pierce the chest of the manikin in the shape of Squall, tearing the diamond material upwards, almost as easy as cutting butter. She was dazzled of how easy to turned out to be, even doing it on her own while her friends were barely fighting them without getting hurt.

Zidane was struggling with his doppelganger of crystal, slamming the edges of each other's daggers, and with a swift move, the young man managed to kick the manikin towards the girl. "Terra! Finish him!" And she quickly conjured a great flare ball, evaporizing the character before it could touch her. The little thief growled with enthusiasm for her fast move and she simply smirked with approval.

However, it was too soon to sing their victory fanfare. While not looking back, she sensed the shadow of a huge manikin about to attack her. Terra fastened her sword ina chance to block the assault, but a great white beam of light obstructed the manikin's way, protecting the girl.

The man, one that she had never seen before, was dressed in white and blue armor, shining with some sort of holy light, and his hair was shoulder-long and platinum white. Terra noticed at the moment of his counter attack the spear-like sword, same weapon that Cecil used. _Could it be?_

"Leave this one to me!" Cecil's voice claimed, pulling out a completey different strength from what the Dark Cecil used before.

His force was great, his speed almost graceful, he converted the Garland manikin into pieces. On the other side, Firion and Cloud finished the rest of manikins that charged against them. Everything was under control again.

While they were checking their supplies once more before parting again, Terra approached with curiosity to the newly-found knight sitting while fixing his kneepads on his armor. As the paladin noticed her presence, he smiled kindly at her. Cecil's face had very youthful traits, yet it could be perceived that he was already a mature man, full of understanding and experience.

He asked with his well-known benevolent voice how was she doing, soon realizing that this was the first time they meet with him not wearing the black attire of the Dark Knight.

This time, they began walking together as she begun making few questions about his ability to change his warrior characterictics. Again, she proved herself not very good with conversations, even worse because of the distressing nature of their current quest. She was still dead worried for Kuja, and it was a thorn constantly digging inside her chest, because she didn't know if... he'd still be alive after the last time she heard him.

Yes, when she received his message, it disturbed her beyond words, and even when her comrades saw her anxiety unfolding fast, she wasn't capable of telling them about it. It wouldn't be fair to take their hopes away, to make them question the certainty of this mission.

It was only her and Kuja's despair.

"Have you cleared your thoughts yet?" he asked, leaning respectfully close to the young lady as they walked behind their group.

The doll-looking girl slowly turned her face to the paladin, holding an expression full of grief. "... I know what I want to do, Cecil. But... he doesn't want to be saved; I know why." she whispered, concealing the pain. "I'm not sure what's the right thing to do anymore. Ain't I being selfish for wanting to rescue him, regardless what he wants?"

"Won't you ask Zidane as well? May you forgive me, but I'm sure that he'd give you a better answer than I can offer you, Terra."

"Zidane... he's too young, also too naïve and heady. I'm sure he cares a lot for Kuja, but I doubt he understands him at all... Cecil, please help me."

The adult warrior frowned a little, uneasy for what she asked. "I... don't know your friend Kuja, and I can't build a judgement about him... But if you're so convinced about him needing help, if you say he tried to do the right thing... you, as my fellow warrior, I trust in your word."

Of course Kuja tried. But she was the only one who actually was sure of that fact. Cecil was just giving it a chance. Zidane believed what he wanted, Cloud was just responding to his past and Firion was a good friend who wanted to help out. It was Terra the one who trusted the truth.

"Terra, it's okay to have your doubts everytime it gets hard; but if you will it with all your being, you can't deny it to yourself. If deep within yourself you believe it's not wrong to save your friend, do not stop what your heart wants." he laid his gentle hand on the small shoulder of the girl. "Don't hesitate on doing what you think it's right, even when it doesn't seem as the best thing to do."

She didn't knew how to smile. Those words were a better support than her own thoughts. All doubts and fears reduced to her own good will, the true desire of her heart versus the anxiety of moral. And she realized, in the same way that there were warriors of discord who weren't bad at all, there were also warriors of the light who weren't pure like snow. They were just driven by their personal desires.

For example: Cecil seemed resolute about his role.

"Cecil, how did you get your crystal?"

"I cleared my heart from all doubts... thanks to my brother."

"Did you... fight him?" she asked in lower voice, but trying so hard to not sound grieved.

"As hard as it seemed, in the end it was necessary to fight. However, it doesn't really mean that all of us need to obtain our crystals through battle. All we need to do is to find our true path and accept what will come for us... It's not meant to be easy, my friend, but we need to keep on fighting until pulling ourselves through. If you're certain about your own convictions, don't let it stop. Try to grasp the end of the road with all your might."

Terra stared down and took a deep tranquil breath. The holy warrior was way more ahead than most of her friends, and probably crossed a longer and harder path than she'd ever do. His speech was precious.

She sighed peacefully, staring again into Cecil's eyes. "I was afraid of fighting. Constant conflict scares me even now." she shook her shoulders as she said that. "But with your words, I remember all the reasons why must I keep on going. Everytime I look back, I want to stop, although nothing I do will ever change the past. I realize that the best I can do is to keep building the future."

"That's right, Terra." he smiled gently. "Don't worry about it now, okay? Once this is over, you'll have plenty of time to seek for the past. You won't be able to fix the mistakes, but you're still given to chance to understand them. You can wonder then what to do to redeem yourself in a way or another."

She thought about Kuja again. "Cecil... what happens if we can't do enough for paying our mistakes?"

An uneasy smirk crossed his lips. "... I don't know. Some people can forgive, others won't. It's up to you if you can live with that. So, don't feel so bad if you're trying with all your heart. Anything you want, do it with honesty in your will."

"Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me... I know what should I do to clean my wounds. I know what I want to do." She wanted to leave it clear, that she was no longer confused. "What I'm worried about is..."

"—Oh! Of course. Kuja must have done awful things in the past... You're worried about him and his actions, are you not?"

"I've heard his story from his very lips... and, he seemed very conscious of the harm he's done to the world. Although he looked very sorry for what he did... at the beginning, he was a completely different person. He was so... unaware of his own evil deeds, almost as if they were..."

"... A game?" Cecil completed. Concern weighed on his eyebrows.

"Yes." she assented. "He was like a child. A boy who can't tell between right and wrong."

"That's impressive. How could you tell?"

"I... remember children. There's plenty of children inside my mind."Terra finally figured out. Her fondness for small innocent creatures wasn't just a coincidence, but there was something more than mere memories. They were experiences, echoes from the past erased by the warring cycles. To Cecil, this was an amazing merit, because recovering their memories was their greatest joy in this world.

"Sounds... like you were a mother."

"I don't think so. I wasn't in the time of building a family." she responded, smiling wistfully at those vague images of little kids clinging to her arms. "But, I knew how to take care of children."

* * *

><p>The bitter scent of blood dripping warmly on his face was the faint sign of his counsciousness not completely broken. But sometimes, the perception slipped away, in and out, not being able to keep his eyelids open to the blurry darkness of his confinement. It wasn't easy to keep himself awake when there was lack of light.<p>

His mind drifted somewhere else, but if it wasn't for the gentle drum of his heartbeats, he'd be certain about his non-existence. Then again, life wasn't any beautiful with his rotting soul wandering... ruining everything it touched. His thoughts were altered radically. Maybe it was the acceptance of pain as the only justice for his crimes... even if his executioners were just as crooked as he was. That was Lady Justice's only defect on her scheme.

The youth was aware of his lifetime of delusions, just now, too late to take it all back. He was beyond ravished, the poison carved deep within his soul, left alone with the shame of the awakened moral sense.

If he only knew. It wasn't his fault. That was the way he was manufactured. He was born this way, he was born an atrocity.

Inside the dark, the thespian smirked cruelly at the revelation of this irony.

Childhood was the time he lacked of. He needn't to grow-up. He needn't understand what a child would understand. He needn't learn what a child would learn. Time was precious for his Maker, so he created the first Angel with a grown-up mind and body. _O, Time was precious_. There wasn't time to develop a creature with a rich soul.

Yet, his Maker realized this failure. So the next Angel would be given of this petty age. Zidane,_ what a lucky bastard he was._

But, not being able to experience maturity... he was left loveless. He could not even grow. In the callous irony of his life, he was just a depraved kid who couldn't understand the values given by wise adults. Life was just a play. He lived inside the passionate fancy of a narcissistic poet. He'd act like a cultivated gentleman just to impress himself, acting as if he understood life while he didn't knew anything at all. Just like a good thespian would do.

In the end, he could only see that he was nothing but just that: an actor. He was the protagonist, the one and only performer of the stage. His façade was flawless and his direction divine. His perfomance always exceeded perfection, for he never knew the difference between life and stage. If a person should have to die, it was all an act. _Audience loved tragedy_. The applauses were inside his head. He always enjoyed a good death scene, specially if he was the one pulling the strings on the stage.

It was alright, because it was his play. He wrote the play. He acted the play. He watched the play.

Kuja covered the wetness of his crimson face. His fingers were trembling. He couldn't help it. His script, his perfomance, his stage: all destroyed by reality. All of his frivolous words were always dust on his tongue. Nothing he ever believed was true. He did what he wanted, trusting he was free like the wind.

He was bound to death. His end was written under his skin.

Of course, nobody would blame him for losing it after such a cruel discovery... but to attempt to destroy existence itself was beyond forgiveness.

_But, haven't he tried?_ Didn't he prove that he was capable of doing something upright after all? Wasn't he... trying to genuinely gain the affection of certain person? He used to want to live for that.

But voices inside his head were contradicting him, whispering doleful words of righteousness. The world was a better place with him gone. That was right. Those voices reminded him of the wretched and immoral person Kuja was, and how couldn't he ignore that nature. Being left in freedom again it wouldn't take long to him to kill again. Cruelty used to be his best friend.

... He perceived them coming. Closer with each swift step towards the dark reigns.

Was it ire or was it joy what he was feeling? The physical pain suddenly overcame him, before coming to an answer.

"_Big Day's Here, Kujie-coo!_ Let's make you look presentable for their arrival. What do you think?"

* * *

><p>The gate opened its blinding light upon them, feeling the inferno awaiting at the other side. They were at the top of the mount, so close to the God of Chaos, and the forces that livid within this dimension surpassed them in number. Terra's legs would have shakened if it wasn't for her sharp senses, feeling the tender and weak presence of the white mage.<p>

There he was, somewhere inside that dreadful place, alive. Her heart began to beat passionately.

_He was alive_.

"Wait, Terra!" She didn't listen. The brave girl took her strength and lept right into the gothic gate before anyone else. She was followed by Zidane's equally fast pace, knowingly she'd take him where Kuja was imprisoned. They crossed through the rift of brief light, feeling themselves coming closer to the danger-zone.

They arrived, clashed against two of the chaotic warriors expecting them with evil grimaces. Exdeath along the Cloud of Darkness assaulted mercilessly without allowing them to take a breath.

Terra was the first of the group to strike, with Blizzarra she stopped one of the entity's tentacles to grasp her. Zidane followed her by slicing through the defense of the woman-shaped spawn. They were both running across the replicate of the Dream's End, but just as they both turned their heads back, the rest of the group was obstructed by more of the Chaos Warriors.

Garland, the armored fiend, along the infernal Emperor joined forced to their discord comrades, making it difficult for Cloud and the others to pass through. They were putting up a gruesome fight.

"Let us handle this! You go and look for Kuja!" Cloud shouted as he blocked with his large buster blade an energy orb from Exdeath. Firion covered his friend's back while the Emperor launched a destructive wave of magic. Cecil was already focusing on taking care of the Cloud of Darkness and Garland at the same time.

The girl stared ill-hearted, not knowing werether to aid them or continue her path. Kuja might just be few yards away. And the young thief seemed to suffer the same conflict she did.

Firion yelled, fierce in combat. "Don't worry for us now! Just go to retrieve Kuja, as we can just hold them for some limited time! Go!" Then the mage felt the gloved hand tugging her arm. Zidane's eyes were bright and splendid, almost emanating power.

"Terra, we haven't much time! You gotta trust they will work this out! We find him and this will be over!"

Her hesitation died. The magic girl nodded in determination. "Alright. Let's go." Terra became guide, her senses telling her from where the prisoner's feeble presence came from. They pierced together the next entrance towards the forbidden sanctuary.

Passing through the familiar esceneries, running from one stage to the next, Zidane and Terra had to slaughter just a couple of manikins, which seemed odd enough, entering the enemy's personal territory. At the replicate of Kefka's Tower they faced a manikin weaker than those found outside the dimensional gate.

After the short match, everything went deathly quiet, obvious enough they were being watched by someone.

Zidane's grip on his daggers tightened, growing anxious at this tranquility, awaiting for the storm. He suddenly gasped, making the female warrior to jump in fright.

He saw Sephiroth from afar, watching them in silence standing on the top of the floating building from the Rift's zone. However, when they both noticed, the soldier of grim appearance did nothing. Just stood there coldly observing without a word._ What was he up to? Why wasn't he doing anything?_

It wasn't the right moment to wonder. If Sephiroth wouldn't stop them, there was no use on spending time trying to figure out. Zidane pulled the girl's wrist and motivated her to go on.

That man was uncaring. Wouldn't meddle on something that wasn't of his concern. They should leave him be.

Once the stepped on another landscape, darker and quieter. There was a gloomy atmosphere reigning on the new place, supposedly the real shrine of Chaos. It was a large temple of gray and gold walls, dark purple floor, a crimson red carpet that rised to a grim throne of stone.

Zidane was looking everywhere, but Terra knew exactly where to find him. In the upper level, downside a dismal mural portraying a dark demon, to where the carved pillars were broken, she found among the shadows the sight of a lying figure.

She swallowed her screaming, and fast as the wind she glided towards that zone, Zidane hurried clumsily to where Terra went.

The first thing that caught their eyes was the blood all over the floor. Also, for their horror, marks of claw in one way and another. These were obvious signs of violence and brutality. And something pale and broken was lying there, few steps away from them.

Kuja's thin body was covered in bruises and blood, his face was partially hidden by the reddened locks of his gray hair. Most of his robe was made shreds, his golden breastplate was open, revealing the large extent of damage on his chest. They noticed how the torn edges of his red-stained sleeves were tighly wrapped around his wrists, because his hands were pinned against the wall, palms pierced by crystal spikes to hold him in place.

They were both muted by terror and rage. The girl mage leaned next to him, but was surprised by the spasms of the long bruised fingers of Kuja. He was not only alive, but also awake. The blonde young man started talking to his fellow genome, whose lifeless eyes met. It seemed as if Kuja wanted to speak too, but his voice could only produce dry sounds. The small thief began turning his head around, taking care of not having any enemy around.

Terra, with extreme care, tried to remove the slim thorns from his hands, but feared on provoking a bleeding. The pool of red liquid was already making her nervy and aghast. The smell was too strong to bear. And his pain... seeing with her own eyes the atrocity of his hell turned her shaky. "I can't believe they did this to you..." she whimpered low.

"... Stupid girl... You knew it was a trap after all." Kuja whispered back, emotionless.

"... I had to try, Kuja. I'm sorry." the girl touched gently the fingertips of him, not knowing how to remove the first spike. "I couldn't stand the idea of letting you die while I still had a chance. I couldn't lose you." Fastly, with no intention of prolonguing it, she pulled the large thorn from the wounded hand, making the fallen one groan. His arm fell motionless and cold, and at the same time, Zidane copied by pulling out the other thorn. Terra quickly took out one potion she had saved for the chance, but Kuja shifted to avoid her help.

Within his bruised red face something on his dark blue eyes changed.

"Man, don't fight us now. We're going to get you out of here!" Zidane said, as he took Terra's potion without permission and shamelessly poured it on the weakened warrior. Kuja almost evaded the contact of the holy liquid, only allowing it to partially heal his arms and torso.

He grunted, almost aggressively to the monkey-tailed brother; but the girl hurried to check his wounds. It was almost impressive the way his behavior switched at the moment she touched him. Zidane slowly inclined closer to them, waiting for Kuja to calm down while he was gently held by Terra's arms.

There was indeed something broken within the man, but he found a small happiness when he met again with this girl.

After seeing his brother soothed by the lady's warmth, Zidane asked: "... Hey, can you move your arms?"

"More importantly... Is my face split in two?" His response made the thief smile.

"You'll be alright, as long as you don't look at yourself in the mirror."

"... You've brought too many with you..." he whispered, his bloodied head resting against the girl's neck while she petted his damaged mane with tenderness.

"You say it as if it was a bad thing."

Kuja frowned painfully, as if he could clearly see what was coming. "... You have no idea." And, as if his words pronounced some magic spell, the girl looked up and froze in fear.

"Oh, no." she gasped. Zidane copied her and saw the colorful harlequinn floating a couple of meters above them with a wide sinister smirk.

"Oh, yes!" Kefka replied playfully. "Howdy, Terra my dear! It's so nice from you to drag all of your little friends to the carnage, you shouldn't have to!"

It was time to escape. If they didn't get enough strength to battle him before, they wouldn't have any more chance while taking care of Kuja's wounds. Terra casted a fast spell of fire targeted to her nemesis and her companion used this as the signal to his leave, carrying the silver magician on his back, as Terra intended to entertain Kefka as much as she could.

However, a point on their plan failed, as Zidane was striked by a heavy ball of energy that made him let go of the injured man thus knocking him down momentarily. Somehow, out of nowhere, the sorcceress Ultimecia appeared on the thief's way, making an elegant entrance flipping her majestical black wings.

"Running here is useless, brat. Accept your fate and die here."

The girl gasped, not having the oportunity to attend them, as she was already occupying Kefka with an almost comedical duel of magic. For the clown it all seemed like a game.

"Kuja!" Zidane hurried back to protect his older brother lying helpless on the floor, but was suddenly repelled by an unseen blast, it didn't harm him but kept him from getting closer to the mage. Terra, distracted by this sight was hitted by a sudden chunk of ice that crashed her against the mural. Zidane tried again, but was pushed again by the same kind of spell.

"Don't." said the wounded brother. "While you've got the chance to escape..." Having his back unwatched, didn't see the jester came down behind him. Before anyone could do else, Kefka lifted his hands with a red glow that linked to Kuja's hands. Almost like a magnetism effect, the slim youth was roughly raised from the ground, instantly adopting the exact same pose of the clown. Even when he wanted to resist, his body was too weak to properly fight against such power. "D-damn you... Kefka..."

It was obvious enough how it was meant to work.

"Kefka, stop this non-sense!" Terra cried, fastly recovering from the attack. "It's me who you wanted all along! Leave him alone!"

The madman laughed, playing in a ridiculous manner with his arms and Kuja unwillingly imitating each movement, like a puppet. "How touchy, minx! But both you and I know that this porcelain wimp is more useful than you'll ever dream to be! SO DIE WITH THE LITTLE PRIDE YOU'VE GOT LEFT!"

"It's useless, girl." Ultimecia interceded with a dark smile. "If you want to fight the clown, you'll have to pierce through his shield of flesh."

"You garbage wag! To use him as your shield!" the young thief protested. Out of his rage, he jumped up the walls like the half-monkey he was, perhaps trying to find a spot he could attack. But Kefka just seemed as fast as the boy, reacting in time to cover himself with the beaten body of the mage. Using this advantage, the mad clown fired a violent spell of thunder, striking him directly. And it didn't end just there; Kefka used an even more dangerous kind of magic this time, invoking some sort of bright blue triangles in the air that caught the kid.

"ZIDANE!" Terra wanted to go to the rescue, but was blocked by the crimson witch. Terra took out her sword in hopes of passing through her, but Ultimecia proved herself once more capable of stopping a blade with her own purple claws.

He fell to the floor, heavily damaged by the Trine spell. The energy residuals of that blast still cursed through the young warrior, but Terra noticed it wasn't just that.

Zidane, with a slow shaky move, turned his face to the girl, small lines of red came from his strange grin. "I'm fine, Terra. I'm fine now." The shine surrounding him began to flow wildly from his head to his toes and tail. There were powerful emotions running through him, and Terra wasn't sure she knew such power.

The shine was red and pink, transforming Zidane's physical appearance into something wilder, stronger; like a savage warrior of an unknown land. Terra remembered Kuja talking about some sort of special power from the world he came from...

"You should look after your backside, child." While Terra contemplated her friend's power, she didn't see Ultimecia's new assault, slapping her face with the heavy claw again, then casting a fire spell under her feet, which, miraculously she escaped from. "And Kefka is right. Even destroyed, Kuja is still more useful than you are at this time. The instant he took him as a shield you laid down your guard. It's pathetic to see such a powerful witch softened by a man."

"... I'm not soft." Terra replied, using her own magic to keep the harpy away. "I'm stronger because I wanted to save a person who's dear to me. That feeling of wanting to protect something precious... drives us to fight. I won't stop no matter what!"

Ultimecia bit her lower lip and stared contemptuously at the girl. Something invisible was drawn on her tattoed face, a small something that the mage girl couldn't read.

"It's a shame. Even if you become stronger... _you can't save him_." the enchantress said in lower tone, raising her arms to the air, supposedly to cast one spell, but Terra only waited in paranoia. "You should know, you won't always be able to protect him."

"I'll try."

It wasn't surprise that her answer made the older woman laugh, seeing her emotions and motivations as meaningless odds and ends. Terra wouldn't understand Ultimecia and viceversa.

Inside an unexpected second, Terra warned herself of magical spears arising from the ground, barely jumping to evade a large cut on her legs, however, she received a little scratch on her right knee. Without room for hesitation, Terra launched Holy orbs towards her opponent, and kept on doing it as seeing how easily the chaos witch blocked them. Blasted out one powerful spell called _Flare_, which she was sure Ultimecia wouldn't be able to hold back.

The huge sphere of hot fire began slow, just to deceive the confident sorcceress. But abruptly, the sun of magic dashed, following each move of Ultimecia's flight. She tried with a vast arsenal of conjures, but nothing seemed to stop the girl's Flare.

Hoping it would finally reach her enemy, Ultimecia found a trick to get rid of it, by placing herself near the space were Kefka was floating with his hostage while avoiding Zidane's wrath. Instantly, Terra figured what was on the harpy's mind.

Quickly, she casted more of Holy's projectiles in order to hit Kefka, if it damaged Kuja, at least wouldn't be as grave as burning him with Flare. It succeded, although it managed to hurt the clown more than his hostage-shield. Kefka was displeased. He screeched.

"I hate... _I HATE-hate-HATE-hate-HAAAAAATE_ IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" A very dark aura awakened on the jester, not only stopping Zidane's newest attempt, but also firing a mighty variety of powerful magic without control, even to his _ally_ witch. And Kuja seemed to be suffering from the great extent of Kefka's outburst for being practically attached to him.

It was Hiperdrive again, this time the girl wasn't fast enough to avoid it. And it hit her. She felt the explosion of pain burning on her, but leaving no visible marks. This was some magic that should be feared.

"Terra, look out!" a different voice called. She was blinded by the previous attack, so she didn't watch who stepped in front of her whole body. All she heard was a bigger blast approaching and then was thumped by some smaller body, which she instinctively embraced with her arms, crashing her back against the wall.

She opened her eyes and recognized the funny white feathers from his helmet. It was her little knight. The Onion Knight came to protect her.

"... Onion... Squall?" The little one didn't come alone. The forceful boy of the gunblade was here too, possibly just to protect his friend's back. Zidane also seemed surprised.

The Onion knight got injured when blocking Kefka's attack, but was able to stand up. His green eyes looked at her with repentment. "I'm sorry. I couldn't bear letting the Chaos warriors to hurt you." he said. Terra nodded and gently stroke the boy's jaw. Then she stared at Squall.

The youngster still had that arrogant mirage. "Don't get the wrong idea. I came because you couldn't stand a chance against this witch." He pointed his steel at the amused enchantress.

Zidane, still recovering from Kefka's power upheaval, still morphed in that red-pink haired being. It seemed he had little time left, but was brightened up by the presence of his friends coming to the rescue.

"You guys..." his now-red eyes were shining. "Can't thank you enough."

But the heart-warming reunion was shamelessly interrupted by the clown's laughter, echoing eeriely around the old shrine. Terra was reminded of Kuja's pain, still imprisoned by that wrench. Her gaze held nothing but fire and regret for that man who held him as his tool.

Kefka waved along the fatigued mage's hands, taunting at the Cosmos' Warriors. "_Uweeh_... this is when the REAL excitement begins!"

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><p><strong>AN: Not a great chapter to compensate your wait, I'm sorry for that. And I think I've made obvious enough my leanings for Ultimecia. In fact, I admit that I'm a believer of the "Ultimecia-Rinoa" theory... hopefully you won't chase me like a jew on the nazi Germany because of that.**

**For this chapter in particular, any kind of advice is very much appreciated, cause I've rushed the ending. I'm usually a sucker for writing when I get the work done at midnight.**


	15. The Battle of Devils

**Yes, I declare myself guilty of not placing my priorities on this fanfic, while I began to work on an alternate project. Just to don't make you feel sad, it is also involving KujaxTerra... in AU. Will only post one chapter to see how it works. Then will put it on hiatus until I finish this one, okay?**

**Thanks. And sorry for making you wait. In advance I apologize if I make any of the following characters OOC, since I trust you'll be able to notice.**

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><p><strong>XV. The Battle of Devils.<strong>

She hadn't time to think, as the evil witch gave no respite to the warriors. Both sides were filled with hazardous diversion and flames so hot they could kill in graze. In nature, she wanted to help Onion and Squall in order to don't allow Ultimecia to exterminate them. However, in Zidane's case, although submerged in Trance, it didn't matter his power could surpass Kefka's: he had to avoid hurting Kuja as fragile as he seemed, if Zidane wasn't careful, he'd end up killing his own brother.

Terra casted several thunder strikes, managing to immobilize the sorcceress for a short time. Her defense was impressive, having those huge black wings to aid her. However, they found out that those were slowing her down. Squall probably knew this before his other mates.

On the other other side, Zidane's wild form ravaged from wall to wall, trying to confuse the clown, who didn't seem to keep up with his speed, but was sharp enough to dodge any of the youth's assaults. Even with the fleeting rage of his magic, the genome wasn't match against Kefka as long as he gave use to his hostage. Would Zidane take ther risk of attacking Kuja for his sake? Terra needed to go and help.

Kuja seemed unconscious again, and Kefka already had the youth's moves figured.

Onion had to block one of Ultimecia's attacks due Terra's lack of attention to her own battle. Squall already got hurt because of the same reasons. Both were concerned about Zidane battling on his own.

Squall, shooting towards the menacing witch, came close to the girl, who used her magic to protect them both. "... I can't help Zidane right now. As long as he wants to save that guy from the clown, I can't aid him. My oath is to defeat Ultimecia. The kid will cover my back. You go and cover Zidane's."

"But—"

Squall glared at the girl, seemingly annoyed with her hesitation. "Hurry, you."

Terra had to give that request three seconds, as the grim spellcaster invoked crimsom light to bash the warriors of Cosmos; the magician girl quickly drawed her hand releasing the white beam of Holy against the killer fire. The teenage in leather covered his face with his blade, while Terra put one step foward to follow Holy with tremendous water torrents that chased after the elder woman.

It didn't matter if the Flood managed to hit Ultimecia; as the girl had to run straight back to where Zidane had his deadly fight with the harlequin. Kefka still had the advantage on his side, Kuja was attatched to his wrists by magic, making them look like a dancing couple.

Zidane was tired, while holding his shoulder tightly because of a recent burn he received. He cowered on the evory broken floor looking up to the madman who kept on teasing while floating in short distance from the ground. Kuja's head swung one side to another according to the clown's moves.

"... And here I was, hoping you'd represent a threat with that new form. You're such a disappointment, shrimp!"

Still, the young warrior held up his large daggers. "If you weren't such a wimp for fights! Now let him go!" Zidane yelled, while the hair on his back seemed to stand on end.

It was her chance.

The female warrior jumped high with her sword ready in hand, fast as she could, wielded a s as heavy as a falling star to the back of her enemy, to perfectly avoid any harm for Kuja.

But the figure became transparent, for long enough to make her swift sword pass through the body as if it was a ghost. Or did Kefka just moved? The girl quickly looked back, but first shielding herself with her crystal blade to prevent the forceful punch of the icing spell. But, as much as she'd like to, she didn't counterattack because she could only see Kuja defenseless.

"That was _soooo_ close!" Kefka squealed, not wasting his time to torment the lady with more deadly magic; Terra moved and glided to find an angle that would permit her to attack her nemesis without compromise. "_Nuh-huh-huh_, missy! Who told you you could stab my back like a little snake?" Even if he was insane, he was still agile and intelligent. Terra couldn't do anything with her sword against the joker, and if she used magic, it'd do things worse.

As they were short in distance, Kefka used this opportunity to cast a fast spells, fiery purple and white, glimmering bubbles of death meant for his former doll. Terra shuned and whirled, moving in a swift manner around the madman and again thrusted her sword.

She did it. It drew blood from his side. But wasn't enough. It painted droplets on Kuja's bruised hip, and Kefka quickly caught with his hand the slim blade, not caring if it cutted. In one second, Terra was facing a raging light of madness that exploded right in front of her.

Pain bursted through her body, losing sense of the place for just a few moments until she crashed to the floor. That spell still burned, but she didn't waver on standing up again, even if her legs were trembling. Zidane was at her left, seemingly affected too by Kefka's last spell. Ultima had a large range of damage, so it wasn't strange to see him hurt too.

"Terra..." He was about to say something, but Terra detected another movement from the mad mage.

"Look out!"

Without warning, she quickly grabbed Zidane by the fur on his shoulders and pulled him to the other side with her, out of the way from the storm of blazing destruction. She ran with Zidane and glided up the torn wall to take some distance from Kefka. Zidane didn't understand at all but moved along his friend. "...Listen, I've got a plan."

Suddenly, her face thud against Kuja's head, that somehow appeared on her way. "Care to share it to me, sugar?" Kefka asked with silly tone.

"Mind your own bussiness, clown!" Zidane attacked, careless enough to kick both bodies of Chaos warriors out of their way. It never ceased to amuse the mage, and Zidane soon regreted his own actions, since he kicked Kuja's stomach instead.

Kuja seemed to spit red after this strike, and this reaction only indicated that he was still awake. His eyes were gray and drained, she saw. But he talked with the eyes, holding some fight there within, cheating Kefka's dominance.

Kefka used Zidane's sudden unease to attack once again, summoning dark meteors of fire to dance around him. Terra couldn't spare him from the danger this time. Fire and rock engulfed the youth.

Like a fading flame, his beastly appearance begun to go away along his strength. He seemed incredibly weak now that he was out of Trance. And he looked perhaps too exhausted to keep up the fight. Terra, however, had something in mind. She had to defeat Kefka all by herself after all.

While being distant enough to figure out her next attack, she began to focus a large amount of magic to her right arm. Kefka raised an eyebrow. Did she mean to look that fierce? Or was she also contemplating Kuja's butchered form he wore? Terra coldly aimed her magic to the clown.

Something wasn't right.

"Oh, so that's it? Who could have guessed that you'd be so cold-hearted?" Kefka said smirking devilishly. "You've just made daddy so proud!"

"Terra, what are you doing?" Zidane gasped, realizing what was going on. Terra endured an icy façade, but her eyes showed her troubled. She was staring at Kuja, and he mirrored her.

"Zidane, please. They've been torturing him for these past days, non-stop. The best thing to do... is to make it end."

"... How sweet. Want to accomplish your boyfriend's last wish and make him the favor of finishing him off? Sure. Why don't we respect_ lil' Kujie-coo'_s wish?"

"Bastard..."

"Oh, but it's truth, maggot! Your monkey brother was thinking on one thing and one thing only for these past few days: _the liberation of death_. Or... are we possibly wrong, Terra? You tell me."

Both Cosmos warriors winced at Kefka's words, but it didn't stop the girl's defying look. Kuja's stare was still numb, but more awake. They were mirroring each other.

"I'm... going to do it, Kefka. I'm not afraid of you."

"... you bitch." he murmured hatefully. "Go on and try. _I fucking dare you_."

"This is madness, Terra! You can't do that!" Zidane protested, seeing the glow of her magic growing mightier. He ran to get a hold of her arm, but it didn't make her move one inch. Out of nowhere, she seemed to have gained a great physical strength.

"I have to! Please, believe in me." Terra replied, using her free hand to softly remove Zidane's grasp from her, and he suddenly complied. Briefly, like a blink, she smirked. He understood it clearly.

And Kuja was watching silent and motionless, keener than before. Terra's right arm went on fire and Zidane ran away to catch the mad mage's attention.

The poor Kefka was still unaware of what was going on. _Didn't know what were these vermin scheming, but he wouldn't lose sight of both_. Precisely what they both intended.

Terra shot a great shaft of hot magic right to the clown, simultaneously, Zidane came back to him dashing with his twin daggers ready. Kefka chuckled with excitement, moving fastly to firstly escape from the flare. But suddenly, something was off. The monkey-boy just ran past him, didn't attack at all. _What was going on?_

Holy orbs approached to him in chaotic formation, and Kefka danced away from them while dealing with Kuja's weight. He didn't see Zidane coming again from behind. And then, there was a tackle. And Kuja abruptly swinged his head backwards, knocking on the jester's nose painfully.

The simultaneous strategy of the siblings managed to leave Kefka dumbfounded, and in reaction, his spell got interrupted because he had to get a hold of his bleeding nose. Kuja escaped with clumsy stride, almost falling to the floor since he hadn't enough power to glide on his own. Zidane hurried and kicked Kefka again in the stomach as he approached to catch his brother from tripping.

Terra almost sighed in relief, but again had to rush into battle, for Kefka wasn't very happy for them.

"So you think escaping is that easy?" he screeched, his boney fingers twitching with electrical sparks, while Zidane tried to carry the older brother but Kuja seemed to barely cooperate. Before Kefka could smack them with a heavy Blizzaga spell, Terra managed to stand in the way and offset his ice magic with her own fire. "Reckless girl! Please, keep on getting in my way; you'll make it easier for me to destroy you!"

Zidane used this timing to quickly drag the wounded mage out of the combat zone, while Terra exchanged several blows and beams of advanced magic with the crazy jester. From his current distance, he couldn't tell anymore who was receiving the most of damage now. Wasn't sure who had the upper hand.

The warring mages begun chasing each other in the air since they could both fly with their own power. It was an impressive display of magic, and Terra occasionally used her sword in case Kefka got too close but he always managed to dodge any strike of her blade.

Kefka's maniacal laughter overwhelmed the place as he became more erratic and brutal with his spells, cutting the girl's time to prepare her own spellcasting properly. She begun to rely on her swordsmanship mostly.

The thief knew this wasn't his place anymore, besides he needed to keep Kuja safe, but he could realize by the tight clenching of his bloody hands his anxiety growing as the battle turned even more fierce. Terra got shot by thunder at the same time Trine was invoked, making her collapse in her flight.

If it didn't seem as a compassion act, Kefka was just a twisted tease, for he grabbed Terra's arm before she could reach ground. She was still staggered due his recent attack. Zidane felt tempted to break through it, but Kuja just tightened his grip on the youth's clothes, wordlessly warning him to don't interfere. Terra rose her head up to look at the madman grinning back at her.

She shuddered. "... Y-you won't. I still..." Terra tensed up her hold of her sword and threatened the jester, wearing a courageous look in her eyes. "I cannot let you keep destroying!"

"Isn't that a cute sword? Lemme take care of it!" Kefka cruelly kicked the girl's hand in a manner he made her let go of it. Possibly broke her fingers with such boot. Then he let her go. "What's wrong? Why don't you show me some of that marvelous magic of yours? You're making your struggle awfully boring!"

She had a troubled landing, looking everywhere for her sword, but her hand was too bruised to use and she was just right-handed. Before thinking of another way, she was assaulted again by other powerful bomb of pure destructive magic. Zidane screamed at her, anguished for her. But Kuja had to insist again: he shouldn't interfere.

How could he still think like that? Well, Kuja was a cruel man, the youngster was aware, but even Terra, the only girl who really made contact with him, wasn't she worthy of his empathy? No, even when Kuja cared, he was prudent. They didn't belong in this fight and they'd only hinder her progress.

The Forsaken Null had meant to make her vanish, but there she was, standing on her feet, breathing heavily and covering her wounded shoulder. It bled. Her eyes overflowing with pain. Somehow, it felt as if Terra lost herself a little.

"Good, good! Let all of that hatred bathe all of us, kitty!" Kefka purred this words, blooming in delight while Terra's aura burned up with scinllating energy.

Zidane felt scared. The waves of power, invisible, they were insanely strong. Kuja looked unaffected, something the younger one couldn't understand, almost as if he comprehended what he was seeing. "She must do it alone." he said calmly. How the hell could he be so calm? Terra cried out angered. Kefka cracked up.

The sound of her wail came along with a new raging surge of light that blinded everyone. It took Zidane a couple of seconds to adjust his eyes to the new glimmering shape across the torn floor of the Shrine. Even Kefka seemed amazed. There was a nude female figure, pure and tameless, mane violet and pink hue running wild.

"Trance?"

It was Terra indeed, just grown some fur and monstruous claws.

She embraced herself, gasping, shaking, confused. And the clown smiled wide, entertaining himself on the girl's conflict. She wasn't used to this form, and there was an incredible amount of power building up from inside. Even Zidane felt that it was dangerous to take that power. The jester wasn't worried at all.

"... Stop..." she growled, floating on her ground while pressing her own body to don't lose control. On the other side, Kefka was encouraging her to let it go. The thief's instincts wanted to push him into aiding her, talking to her to soothe that majestic power, but he knew his voice would not be able to reach her.

And then suddenly, much to Zidane's surprise, Kuja stood up on his own. He could listen to his voice, but his lips didn't move.

'_That is your power, Terra. You aren't slave of your own power..._' He heard. '_Be brave._' It was telepathy, all clear. Terra did hear him.

In slow pace, the energy began to focus again to where she belonged. "This power... is mine. I control it. It's only mine." the girl spoke softly to herself, and Kefka snarled angrily to the brothers.

"Way to screw-up our fun... Shouldn't we make the little rat to don't mess its nose where it doesn't belong?" He pointed his magic shiny finger towards them. Ahead of his malicious attempt, a bestial fist clutched Kefka's wrist. She was ready to take the match to its end.

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><p>"... Isn't solitude your final escape? I've never met such a contradictory young man."<p>

It was finally beginning to end. She was growing tired, sweetly laying down her defenses, almost in purpose, just to taint the boys to strike her once more. They were both still full of youthful energy. However, what kept on triggering Squall's force was the furstration of not seeing her speech ending. An impatient teen always hated to withstand the non-sense of an adult.

"Sometimes... we just don't realize how easy it is to trust others. Even I can learn to see that!" he spilled back, jumping to weave his gunblade close to the witch, while Onion Knight did the same, but took his distance, invoking the Meteor spell over her. Enough, she shielded herself with her wings again, for none else she wanted to do.

Squall used this moment of aproximity to dive the edge of his steel to the chest of the sorceress. The world seemed to freeze, as the young man saw the crimson finding its way down the blade buried deep in the middle of her chest. When she bled, the world began to move once again.

"That was very well-played..." she gasped, while her purple claws attempted to touch the sword. She wasn't strong enough now, but her yellow irises observed Squall's face while the dark scarlet of her lips curved into a twisted smile. "... But, in the end, you won't be able to run away from that loneliness. I shall be the one of making sure of that."

"Shut up." He said, and removed his blade at the same time the witch disappeared with black smoke, as if she was made of dust. Onion walked next to the older warrior, obviously concerned about what the strange woman said.

"Did she mean—?"

"This won't be the last battle. Somehow... she accepted her defeat, for now." Squall replied, frowning just as anxious as the boy. "This stinks." Simultaneously they heard the explosion coming from the upper level of the devastated Shrine of Chaos. They stopped laying attention on the other battle since Ultimecia already made them go through the worst.

Once they arrived, they concealed their previous thoughts. This was a massacre. While Zidane found the first safe place to take care of Kuja, the magical girl, now transformed into an incandescent form of magic, was chasing Kefka like a violent demon, throwing him like a ragdoll to every place, eventually firing devastating magic to him.

"Terra seems to be winning." the kid said his voice almost sounded fearful witness of the spectacle. "I've never thought that she could use that much power."

"... That's insane. How does she even manage to keep control?" Squall muttered, blue eyes wide. Both warriors almost leaped backwards when Terra brutally launched Kefka one meter close to them. She briefly cried '_Sorry_' to them.

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><p>Kefka was badly beaten, not as worse as Kuja was left, but the girl really fought him with the vicous intention of hurting him<em> a lot<em>.

"Argh... not what I had in mind..." he grumbled while using his arms to lift himself from the ground. His combed hair was messed and his make-up ruined. Before the jester could recover, Terra didn't waste time on sending him furious spheres of white magic, again and again. Her battle roar was the most unique combination of growls.

"... Kefka..." her gasps and groans were fused together in madness, and it was hard to understand werether she was weeping or just irate. "I... hate you. I can't forget... I can't forgive."

Yet, Kefka never remained still in the ground, no matter how many time should the girl storm on him.

"This is it, Kefka. You've lost." she rumbled, floating above his bested figure, while he was sticking his tongue out teasingly. She was ready to attack him at his next move.

"Whatcha gonan do, baby? You're already dead and mine!"

"You lie."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Last time I checked I'm the only reliable source you've got about your past. You can't say that I lie."

"You are the ghost my past. And I won't ever forget."

His words were envolving her, making her drop her guard down. Almost suddenly she seemed unstable. Nobody knew what was going on inside her head, and it wasn't any good. Was it another of Kefka's mind games?

Zidane noticed Kuja getting tense, as he could no longer stand on his own feet, at least he struggled to crawl out of his little brother's care, something he wouldn't let happen.

"That's why... I don't need you anymore." Terra murmured, mostly lacking in emotion. But the clown just kept on giggling at her.

"Terra? Are you...?" before Zidane could rise up his question, an abrupt screech echoed all over the place and a blast collided on Kefka's body. He faded within his laughter and the burning crimson of the Flare. It made the whole Shrine tremble as the ashes of the gone jester flew along the chaotic winds.

The girl remained in the place for a few seconds, panting heavily. Zidane didn't want to drag Kuja along to get close to the girl, and he looked more than agreeable about the idea; both shared concern for Terra's still plenteous power. But Onion Knight, tiny brave hero he was, raced to the girl before the rest could even try. Terra turned at him in a furious, almost aggressive manner, showing sharp fangs and turbulent violet eyes from an animal.

Onion stepped back, never taking any defensive. "Calm down, Terra! It's me!" he yelped. "Please, it's over. It's finally over."

The cry of the boy seemed to pierce through the wilderness of her current form. "Onion..." her voice transformed, soft and kind. She was back to her senses, still on the form of the esper she really was. She came down to earth and stretched her claw to the boy, grazing his cheek. He smiled at her. "I'm fine now. Thank you."

However, their little joy ended soon. Zidane saw the conflict growing inside the wounded genome's expression.

Kuja pronounced a dry sound from his throat. "They're coming here..." Zidane managed to understand.

"An ambush?" he spoke aloud, so everyone could hear. Kuja nodded. '_Everyone must gather here._' Kuja mentally said. Terra managed to get that faster than Onion and Squall, and instinctively grabbed the younger warrior from his arms and flied to where Zidane and Kuja were. Squall just rushed, unaware of what was going on.

Warriors of Chaos were moving to their spot, accompanied of manikins ready to destroy. The soldiers of the Harmony were already tired, and if their enemies surpassed them on number, they wouldn't be able to fight their way outside the territory. Besides... what would happen to the ones who were left behind? Were they safe? Defeated?

It was an army of them circling the warriors. The Emperor was its head, Cloud of Darkness, Exdeath, Garland... even Sephiroth joined the group. With each one of them, there were a dozen of manikins covering their backs. If they were all here, then... where would the rest of their comrades be? Despair grew fast inside them.

Terra appeared ready to protect her friends, Zidane had only one of his hands free to hold out his dagger while he carried Kuja weight. Squall was prepared and so it was the Onion Knight.

But something occurred really fast, before they could perform their first move, all the five warriors were sucked away by an invisible force, feeling as if they were pulled them from the ground and took them high just to push them back down again. It was a really rough landing, and it made Zidane fall on his face, but fearing any harm to his fellow genome, Terra managed to catch Kuja with an embrace while she was still transformed.

"... W-what happened? Did we just... teletransported?" Onion gasped, and everyone observed that they were no longer surrounded by manikins nor they were at the Old Chaos' Shrine. It was the wasteland outside the homeland of Chaos.

"Kuja, was that you?" Zidane asked, cleaning the dirt from his face. "Kuja!"

Terra stopped her morphed form and gently sat on the soil while holding the white mage very closely. He seemed to be unable to open his eyes. Kuja looked terribly pale, besides still suffering from the bloody bruises all over his body.

"He just passed out. He probably saved his remaining magic just to take us out." said the girl, caressing with heed his red-coated feathers over his forehead.

"... Some guts he's got. Can't say otherwise." Squall muttered, arms crossed. But his blue eyes suddenly shined, as some strange silver twinkle appeared in front of him.

"Look! Squall... isn't that your crystal?"

The teen held out his hands to grasp the weirdly-shaped object, which, indeed, was a crystal from Cosmos, as it accepted the swordsman immediately. Then he looked down at Terra, more specifically to the asleep Kuja. His stare was no longer sour towards him.

"... To think I had to come here to save you, just to obtain this..." he murmured, storing the crystal inside his will.

Terra smiled. "Congratulations, Squall."

It took everyone by surprise, since she spilled it out before Zidane could. Even Squall seemed stunned by her compliment, probably being the first time they were nice to each other.

"... thanks." he whispered low, staring to other place.

Onion entered the conversation too, feeling something awkward in the air. "Sorry for you guys, that you've went through hell and still didn't manage to get your own crystals." He obviously meant Terra and Zidane all together. Probably out of question to say it.

"It's fine. The only reason we've came here was to save him. None of this was a loss." said the girl, unable to hide her discomfort, but yet allowed the head of the wounded mage to rest on her lap. "Whatever power it brings to us, it can't be compared to what fuels us to protect what we cherish in this world."

Her words were the most honest, and they sparkled upon her friends. Literally. It appeared on the air, above her head, an elusive seed-shaped stone of unusual colors' scheme.

"Terra, that's your..."

Her eyes were broad and filled of light as she reached out for the crystal. "Did I...?" Once she held it, warmth crossed on her face. She was speechless.

"You finally understood the meaning of your powers and your resolve. That's the reason you've obtained the crystal. It was something only you could do for yourself." Squall explained with his usual dark tone, while contemplating his own hand.

On the other side, the monkey-tailed youth had to disclose the other emergen problem.

"We should look for the rest of the group. What if they're still engaged to the enemy's territory?" he explained.

"You don't have to, friends." Thus the universe seemed to love differig with Zidane's worries. Firion, Cecil and Cloud were just walking to them, all injured but well at least. "We're alive and kicking, you see."

"Hey guys! H-how did you managed to get outta there?"

Cloud was about to begin. "... It was..." But was rashly interrupted by Firion:

"We aren't sure at all. Seemingly, someone transported us out of the gate when things seemed to get out of control."

"Yes. It happened just in time." Cloud continued.

"... Kuja, maybe he..."

"Did he do it?" Firion asked, lowering his head to look at where the former Chaos warrior was lying. "But... why wouldn't he use that power for himself if he was in danger?"

"Does it matter now? He saved everyone's arses today." Zidane spited back, shaking his shoulders.

Cecil then was also going to share his opinion. "But I think..." Yet, his voice was lost within everyone's arguments being turned into happy returns and everything else. The only silent ones were Terra and Kuja, so the paladin approached them with no pretentions. He just wanted to look closely to the infamous mage, it seemed.

"Did you see your brother, Cecil?" Terra asked, noticing his puzzled aspect. The white-haired man grinned briefly at her, not likely to show himself glad at the presence of a tortured man.

"Yes." he replied, crouhing to look closer. "Don't worry about that, Terra. We're safe now and that's what counts for all of us."

* * *

><p>"It was fine. We know all along that Kuja had few tricks left under his sleeve, and didn't turn out harmful for all we care."<p>

"Still, it makes no sense on how did he get enough strength to carry all of them out. He could have finally perished, unless we've understimated his powers once again."

The armoured mage was growing tired of their discussion, leading them to nowhere. "You achieved what you wanted. What else do you expect from Kuja?" He was the one sane man inside the land of the fools. "In the end, he acted just as conveniently as you've wished. Everything came out far better than you've planned."

The Emperor, aware that he had some privacy with the thaumaturge, leaned close to his head. "You're lucky that nobody else has noticed, Golbez." the tyrant whispered down and slow. "Didn't you aided the first group to teleport outside our humble lair?"

"I wouldn't commit something so imprudent at this rate, would I, Mateus?" he responded, deprived of any emotion that could frame him. "... Shouldn't you be mad with yourself at least? As far as I know, you haven't made your champion get his crystal yet, am I right?"

"... Who'd think you'd like to play with fire, Golbez?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: An ugly chapter, after making you wait for too long and I'm really sorry. And I apologize too for the crude comic relief moments during parts of the big ugly battle scene. Must have been tedious. Will edit later... I only feel proud of Terra's small motherly moment with Onion Knight. Regret nothing.**

**Also, started to play FF5. Damn, I wish Faris was in dissidia, so I could make her kick some ass. but now i'm gonna feel encouraged to make Bartz less irrelevant.**


	16. Warmth

**Filler chapter, there it goes.**

* * *

><p><strong>XVI. Warmth.<strong>

They found their shelter within Cosmos' territory, the abandoned city beneath the Sanctuary. They usually didn't go inside the hollow buildings, except for sole curiosity, since they barely needed to rest. But once they arrived along an unconscious Kuja, they decided that it was the best time to use the edifices for good. They took a small simple house, clean of signs of ruin.

Obtaining a few instruments from moogles, they got all the necessary to tend on the white mage's wounds. They made him to lay down on an improvised bed of several cloth and blankets. Terra improvised a pillow with a huge gauntlet folding it with a fur cape. It had to be comfortable enough. The wandering moogle was both amazed and disgusted on how much they spent on just buying objects to fabricate a bed.

Cloud and Cecil offered themselves to undress the wounded, but slowly backed away with reddened faces, muttering something about _something womanly_, leaving Zidane and Terra to do the job.

The girl could tell how uncomfortable it was for Zidane to remove the bloodied clothing. However, Terra was mostly certain that it had something to do with the fact that Kuja hadn't a very normal kind of body. "Damn you. Why did you have to look like a girl?" he said.

"Maybe... you should leave this task to me." Terra replied, and the youth shuddered, giving her one of the strangest stares. It took him some long seconds to let her know his answer

"... _Ooookay_..." said the monkey-tailed blonde as he lifted himself to slowly leave the blank room. He stared back at the entrance to watch her again while she kept on staring at him, confused. Terra vaguely wondered what made Zidane act in such an awkward way.

She looked back at Kuja, still asleep in pain, bathed in dirt and dried blood. They began undoing the belt on his golden broken chestplate, and when they opened it, it was the moment when Zidane cursed. But Terra continued to take everything off, until she made sure she could see each bruise of him.

Taking off the boots and leggings was the trickiest part of the job. Because of the heavily armored boots, she wasn't aware of how badly beaten were his legs. If she was careless she'd end up expanding the damage. His legs were completely useless by now; it'd take more than potions to make them walk again.

There were small signs of recovery because of the potions Zidane used. But Kuja's body was far from getting any better. Some of those ruptures and lesions weren't even meant to heal. At least not for themselves. She thought that using an elixir would be the best option left. Those were rare, but she knew they existed.

Terra felt a sudden struggle within. The longing of seeing him again made her uneasy to watch over him, helpless and discovered. His paleness was painfully contrasting to all the dark and red stains of pain disrupting his skin. But she could also feel something she couldn't explain as she kept on observing, touching every hurt.

She always felt very aware that Kuja was a femenine-looking man. However, in truth, she never, nor even remotely thought about the true nature of his body. He was man, and that was clear, but... somehow Terra fell unto the illusion she was watching a girl, just like her. This wasn't a masculine body. Every sweet curve, each soft fold of the porcelain skin carved in a deceitful way, an unique way to fool the shallow. Even as she managed to clear his face from the blood, his smooth features were a natural charade of the women's grace.

If she didn't find the apple of his neck, she'd be convinced that his upper half body was completely female.

'_Perhaps, the others are ashamed of seeing a girl... W-what am I thinking? That's ridiculous._'

And it was beautiful. Just the aspect of his hands were one of her favorite features. His fingers were thin and long, even with broken nails, she touched and proved his fingers were still warm and soft. She touched the wounds as she poured the potions to make effect in the most grave wounds; they even served to wash away all of the blood and dirt. However, in between the working hours, she kept on caressing his hands and arms, holding them even for minutes. If she was quiet enough, she could hear his breath, she could feel the feeble pulse fighting its way to life.

Then she saw the tail.

Its fur had the same silver colour of his mane, but it was broken and bruised just as bad as its owner's body. There were visible marks of vicious fingers, probably seizing it with unnecessary force, showing signs of hair loss right there at the painful traces.

She was going to touch the large limb too, but one grace made the tail shift rapidly and Kuja rolled to lay to his side. It made Terra jump back in fright, thinking that he'd be awake. But she looked again. He was still asleep.

While she still had the chance, Terra rushed to put him some simple clothes on the leftovers they bought. Not without putting bandages on the still-grave wounds. But she couldn't touch the tail, since Kuja hid it for so long, it'd be disrespectful to just grab it... without his consent. It didn't mean that she wasn't curious about it though.

She began to lose track of the time she took care of him, but its pacing was difficult to predict since there was no sleeping nor hunger. It was almost as if time was frozen for everyone and everything, except for wounds. She remained inside the isolated room for too long, awaiting for his wake.

The guys would come by from time to time to check on Kuja and ask her if she wanted to switch turns... but she denied all of them. She didn't feel tired at all, and even if she tried to stay away for a moment, Terra couldn't resist the feeling of anxiety for leaving the mage alone. She was needed and trusted, and this was the best relief she could find. Nothing could appease her as much as holding his hand until he could get better.

On the other side, she asked them for an elixir, but they couldn't answer her right away. Hours later, Onion dashed to the room, stumbled and fell on his nose, yet keeping his arm from touching the floor. She winced worried about the boy, but still unable to leave Kuja's side; Onion just shook his head and said he was fine, with a smile. And so, he handed over the elixir.

It was kindness like this what often impressed Terra, and specially the child knight who showed himself more supportive than ever, and sometimes staying by her side for quite longer.

When she used the elixir on Kuja, she observed a great advance on his healing, but most of the hurt still remained on his legs. They were worse than she thought; however, she didn't ask for more. They probably used the only elixir they had and she didn't want to cause further trouble.

He'd eventually heal by himself. The worst was over now.

* * *

><p>The room was still fresh of the scent of blood, but she was finally at ease, seeing the sleeping beauty at her side, his hand always in hers. There was a silent grief reflected on his face, she could sense. Knowing Kuja, he was probably regretting everything they went through just to save him. He probably suffered the lore of his failure. He probably tried to defeat the Chaos servants all by himself.<p>

She tightened her grasp on his boney hand. She began to feel tired, realizing how weak her grip became. Unconsciously she leaned her head close, posing her forehead on his. Her eyes were closing, and she couldn't help it.

"... What would I say first, once you wake-up, I wonder..." she muttered, just to keep her mind from drifting.

One subtle sound made her draw back, from the gray and white window of the solitary room.

It was the moogle. He usually kept on coming in and out ever if the girl needed something else, ever since they began to occupy the empty sanctuary. Upon the many times, she realized that it was the same moogle she requested to keep safe Kuja's bolero.

At the refreshment of the memo, Terra asked the tiny one about that precious object.

"_Kupo_? Was this the one you were looking for, _kupo_?" It was in perfect state, just the way she left it before.

"Yes. This is the one. Thank you." She took it gently and put it behind her, just so she could show it to Kuja once he was back. But she felt that the moogle was staring. "Something wrong?"

"Is he your boyfriend, _kupo_?"

"Boyfriend?"

"BOYFRIEND?" Onion screeched from behind, making Terra's ears hurt. "N-no! You moogle! Buzz off!" When she looked at the kid, he was totally red and bewildered. "And I don't mean... But... Terra, he isn't your bo-... right?"

"Well, he's a boy and he's a friend. Why shouldn't I call him _boyfriend_?" she was sure that Onion Knight couldn't explain himself well enough, hence she didn't understand.

The kid just scratched the back of his head. "Because... Uh, well... _nevermind_. So, is he pulling through?"

"The elixir we gave him has almot fully healed his wounds... but, he just won't wake-up."

"How bad is that?"

She smirked. She noticed that twitch beneath his masquerade.

"It's not. I honestly think that Kuja is just refusing to wake, because he doesn't want to say thanks to everyone." she brushed with her fingers one tress of his hair on his face. "I just know he is."

"Terra, you aren't helping me any at all." Kuja said, frowning with eyes still closed. His voice sounded so monotonic and dry. Onion leaned to the mage, heavily annoyed.

"So you were making it up, huh? For how longer?" Without any warning, the kid pulled away Kuja's pillow, making his head fall. It made him open his eyelids in a trice to stare at the boy.

"... Must you mess my perfomance, kid? How am I supposed to pretend a deadly coma with you taking away the pillow, may I ask?"

"You lazy butt. We risked our skins for you and intend to get away with this?"

"Yes."

Terra had to interfere, stoping the little warrior from rampaging with one hand signal. She had a severe look upon Onion Knight, never mad nor sour, but understanding. It worked at least for that boy. She wasn't sure how many well-behaved boys like Onion Knight were out there for sure. Kuja could be a naughty one in this case.

"... Alright. I won't waste time talking to you." he snorted. But cordially addressed the girl before taking his leave. "Bye, Terra."

Once the child was gone, she turned her sight back to the ill thespian. She tried to look as displeased as possible.

"That was rude, Kuja. And the kid is right."

"I don't deserve sympathy of any of your comrades. At least half of them have crossed swords with me, _not that I have any swords at all_, but you understand my drift, love."

"At least, you should try to talk to them."

"About what, exactly?" he rose his eyebrow while entwining both his hands to pose on his chest. "_Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Kuja and I'm a former warrior of Chaos. And I offer my sincere apologies if I remotely ever tried to murder you when the chance was given. It shall not happen again, I presume. Oh, and foremost, if you wanted to know, I've successfully destroyed an entire planet out of rage. Any more questions, dears?_"

"Well, obviously you shouldn't try to be so cynical."

"What would I even do with you from now and on? You cannot ask me to pretend to be a Warrior of Cosmos. What I lack on virtue I compensate with sadism and malice. What do you want from me, Terra? Tell me."

"I want you to live."

It was quiet after she spoke those words. There was no color on Kuja's eyes once light reached to them, shining tenderly on the sea of grimace. He tried to get himself up, but the only thing he could achieve was to sit on the improvised bed. The breath he exhaled was subtle but tired and hopeless.

"... It isn't that simple to live. Not for me."

"Life isn't supposed to be easy. We both know that better than anybody else. But, we're still alive for a reason, and it doesn't stop until it's finally over, Kuja. If life isn't fine, then we gotta do something to change that. Don't you think?"

"... I've tried... There's certain things that can't be changed, no matter what you do, and that's one of the most cruel lessons in life, bird."

"We'll carry on." she just kneeled closer to him, showing with her bruised hands the presence of her crystal. "You know? Half of us still need to get the crystal of Cosmos..." she concealed it again, and this time, gazing at him gently. "Perhaps, only perhaps, you want to aid us to get them."

He barely shuddered. "You've finally gotten yours? Congratulations."

"When I realized that it was you the person I wanted to save... it was the moment so clear and truthful and it brought the crystal to me. Though, I don't know for sure, it reminds me of something precious from the place I've came from."

"... Isn't that nice? And you did it all by yourself." he answered, not even touched by her speech, it seemed. "But you can't chant victory just yet."

There was something bitter growing bigger within him. "Kuja?"

"... It isn't obtaining the crystals what is important, do you understand?" The girl did not even notice that his pale fingertips were touching her hand. "Defeating Chaos is a major priority right at this moment."

"But Kuja—"

"Let me finish. How am I supposed to persuade you if you keep interrupting me?"

"It's not up to me what the others want to do now. They're all just wanting to get their crystals."

"... You don't understand. Obtaining your crystals right now is not going to help you."

"Why?"

"Because..." He stopped his tongue from further sound, bit his lower lip at one secret thought, Terra could tell. "Well, you're wasting your time and energy. The more time you spend figuring out how to get your crystals, the more advantage you're giving to your enemies."

"I'm sorry, but your words don't make any sense." she said frowning. But so, Kuja gazed upon her with coldness and superiority.

"I suppose they don't." he answered stroking his chin. "Your goddess requested you to obtain the crystals. How can you possibly question the orders of such deity. Sweet lambs, following her each beck and call."

Was he just trying to make her feel bad after all? "You're wrong."

"Why should I be wrong? You aren't even sure what are your crystals going to do, are you?"

"It's going to help us end this war. Please, stop saying those things."

"Do you fear believing in me?"

"No. I just don't agree with you."

"But at least you've truly made a point, Kuja." A deep gentle echo entered their stance

It was as if Terra's mind infected with uncertainty from Kuja's words, or was it an all-hearing ear, it somehow summoned the presence of light right at the window of the blank room. It was the presence of the Goddess herself, the white dim light from the shimmering fabric of her almost translucid dress along the purity of her veils, her hair was almost like a tender golden light made of strings spreading gently on the air. It was the appearance of the most beautiful woman they could ever imagine to be conceived.

"... Cosmos." Terra whispered, just bowing her head down slightly in sign of respect. However, her light blue eyes were on the other mage, who showed little of awe in return.

"What brings the goddess to come down from her tower and pity a former Chaos servant?" he sighed, lowering his stare.

"If you felt me pityig you, I apologize." she answered with a most pure and neutral tone. Kuja kept on evading any eye-contact with the goddess. "And I trust you don't hold intentions of harm, Kuja. You're a very aware man, if your actions preceed you."

"So, the mother of Harmony has heard of my deeds. I feel flattered."

"I wish you to come to the Sanctuary. I need to have some words with you, if you may. Terra, could you guide him there?"

"... Are you trying to mock me, Cosmos?" Kuja replied, this time looking at her even image. "I might be weak and defeated, but... I am strong enough to destroy you quite easily." His words made the warrior girl uncomfortable. She didn't want to see the edgy Kuja again now. "Why do you trust in me so easily?"

His sharp words, however, didn't made the noble entity quiver, but her sky-blue eyes kept on observing calmly to the young man. Terra knew there was a link unfolding between their uneven stares. Terra didn't realize she tightened her fingers around his wrist.

"Because you are Terra's friend. She risked herself to go and save you, it must be because you learned to earn her trust. Such amount of trust wouldn't be gained so easily, and she has the heart to see the righteousness where it exists. I just know she does." Cosmos gently places a smirk upon the girl, though they never directly spoke to each other, it felt like greeting an old friend. "If I'm wrong... then, why should I even deserve to be called... _a goddess_?"

Without further, the divine Cosmos left in the same mysterious manner the appeared in front of them.

"... I've never heard Cosmos talk like that." Terra murmured. "And you, you shouldn't have been so rude."

"You and your friends may have risked themselves for me, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they trust in me. They have no reasons to trust nor listen."

"But I do." And it happened again, like a magnet, her head leaned against his softly, and he didn't push her away, he'd let her be. "I'll take you to see her. Until then... you can house your trust in me."

Then, he turned his head and took the back from her head, placing his lips close to her her earlobe. "It'd be lovely if I could get myself new clothes." he whispered.

This sudden mention triggered the girl to leap back, remembering that precious thing she held for Kuja, because probably he didn't put any attention to it so far. Neither did she. Terra took the piece of armor with extreme care, like a treasure it was meant to be and showed it to the mage.

"I've kept your guard for you." As she handed it over, and he took it even if his arms were still numb because of recovery. "I'm sorry if you find anything bad with it, but... you made me promise to give it back to you. I hope everything is okay."

"This is very sweet, Terra." he chuckled, looking at the perfect state of his purple bolero, and she wanted to think he appreciated her dedication. "But I'm afraid that I'll be changing this attire sooner or later. I shouldn't present myself to your dear Goddess in such a poor costume."

By the manner he picked at the tips of the white shirt he was dressed in, he disliked the clothing. Terra gave him pants as well, and he didn't look bad, but certainly he lacked of _something_ to look... well, to look like Kuja.

"Then, I'm gonna bring the moogle back, so he can give you some new clothes, alright?"

When she stood up to leave, the girl turned her head back, seeing the mage still sitting in place since he was unable to move his legs. She kept on staring at the silver tail that moved in frail motion from side to side, and Kuja probably unaware of this.

"What?"

The girl smiled softly, without trouble. "Since I've met Zidane, I always knew you had a tail. Why did you hid it all along?" It made him frown with disgust.

"Don't ask me questions. Go and search for that fuzzy monster now. I'd rather to go around naked than using this."

* * *

><p>It became a rapid conversation topic when most of warriors got acquainted with the fact that Kuja was being attended by the esper girl. Some of the guys wanted to see if they could do something, and she appreciated their offer, but she kept on saying that she was fine on her own and she'd rather to take care of Kuja alone. The weird stares kept on following her.<p>

It couldn't be so important. She arrived with the moogle cuddling in her arms, surprinsingly uncomplaining.

The moogle didn't seem to like Kuja's attitude at all, but did the best to don't be rude while he was at presence of Terra. In that matter, the moogle appeared to be at patience while the sweet girl kept on waiting there. Terra had it clear that the tiny creature was trying to be nice just for her... it made her upset that Kuja's grim character made such effects. But as soon they bought everything he demanded, the moogle left quickly, just waving at the girl.

The man picked a most strange combination of clothing, and she couldn't really tell what piece of fabric would go where, and well... most of it looked like something she'd wear.

In a flashy thought she vaguely wondered if he ever noticed her own different outfit. '_Maybe he doesn't like it._'

"Terra, do you want to stay? Just... sit here beside me, like a good girl." Nervously she nodded and sat beside him on the lump of the bed, but he turned his body the other side, while he removed the shirt of cotton he wore. "May I count with your help? My legs can't move and I won't be able to do this myself."

Another tickling on her stomach she couldn't control, but she did as he said. But she only kept on helping the lower half of him to dress and none else. They were both really quiet during those moments. When she tried to fasten up the silk belt behind him, she shuddered when her knee touched the smooth fuzz of his tail, which he probaby moved unwillingly close to her.

Kuja was giving her his backside while putting his hand inside some fancy light gloves made of silk and jewelry. They looked good along the baggy sleeves he wore. But suddenly, he stopped, unfinished. Something was wrong in this silence.

He whispered without looking at her. "... I thought about many horrible things. I may not want to keep on living, like this, do you realize?"

"Let's not think about that anymore." she replied softly. Terra laid her head against his back and her hand on his shoulder.

This small hint of sympathy produced another warm reaction. His fingertips reached for hers, thin and tremulous, wanting to feel.

"I... have all my memories back."

"All of them?"

"Yes." he said, voice of blue becoming fainter than usual. "I am certainly more scared than I ever was. And I also hate me._ I hate what I've done_, to be more precise."

She didn't want to hear it anymore. He had too much grief to infect. She was too happy of having him here; she didn't want it to be ruined just now. And he, Kuja tried so hard to keep it engraved, but the pain just grew too big.

"Don't talk about it, Kuja. You can make it wait as long as you need."

"I feel so powerless now. I can't believe how idiotic and weak I was... I couldn't do anything..."

"I know that way. It's very painful... but now look at me. I became different."

He turned his neck to his the fingernails of her hand on his shoulder. His mouth was so tender, even colorless. One thing led to another, and she was swept away by his actions. When she last realized, she was laying on the floor with him on the top, caressing her face with his lips. The itchy warm feeling in her stomach became stronger, making her face sultry and her knees bend up at the close contact against his figure.

"Make me forget... at least for a while."

"Kuja, I don't know if I can..." The girl became nervous, not knowing what to do, so she tried placing her hands on his back and further down. Her hand unconsciously seized on the first thing it found and gripped tightly.

"Terra..." his hot murmur stopped when suddenly arched his head backwards while shaking. He seemed strangely vulnerable. "Agh... please, stop doing that... I want your hand _off it_."

"What...?"

His face was becoming red and held a displeasured gesture. "You shouldn't do that, please, Terra. Stop." His voice shaking had the strangest sounds she ever heard.

"I... well, first, would you please get off me?"

"My tail..." he moaned. Kuja didn't seem to listen, he looked so feverish. "I SAID STOP!" and so he moved away at the same time the girl let it go.

They separated and she noticed he was still shaking a little, while covering his face in shame. It was still red, she could tell.

"Sorry. I just really grabbed the first thing I had in hand and forgot your tail was still hurt."

However, he didn't seem to be in pain at all. "... Just... don't do it again."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Awkward moment is awkward. **

** Do not expect me to make him use the Treno costume, because, I honestly hate it, and wouldn't fit for the occassion (but I trust he'd wear those clothes if he felt more happy and fabulous). You can find the costume I'm making him wear right here: 92-pink-ravens. deviantart. art/ kujaku- 308222857**

**I used more than half of this chapter to describe Terra nursing Kuja. My apologies. I preffer to think that potions can be pured on the wounds rather than drinking them. Otherwise Kuja would become a balloon.**

**Also, the tail fetish. While I find myself completely unable to write smut, at least I can write about Terra's fascination for the genome's tail. Idk. I should rename this chapter: _His tail is So fluffy_.**


	17. Secret of their Decay

**Sorry. I've been discovering the joys of roleplaying. I'm terribly sorry if I made you wait for too long.**

* * *

><p><strong>XVII. Secret of their decay.<strong>

His hand felt warm all the time. It was a nice kind of sultry, but all his body hurt and bled. Some sort of strange fake joy that filled his soul, because that pain was telling him that he was still alive and capable of feeling.

But it didn't mean it was good. Not at all.

His hopes were accepted and he was allowed to remain in this life, _just because he loved her that much_. Why, among all fair men that could have been brought back to life, he was chosen. Did he ever do something worth this prize?

The darkness still crawled inside his dreams, the black thoughts of denied revenge and freedom taken away, and the recent prints of rape and anguish, all merged into his heart. The pain was so great that he didn't know how'd he survive.

Perhaps, being a hero wouldn't fit him at all. It wasn't inside his nature to be sane, to be good.

He wished to be divested from this heroic burden, this pain. Yet... he wanted to believe it was worth to hold on to it. There were memories, emotions, meanings behind them. They belonged to people. Somehow he realized that the world around him would crumble down by losing them. Therefore, he conceived those persons as _precious_.

This darkness spoke to him. Its velvet voice tickled his ears and whispered in cruel seduction.

"You're the villain. That's something you'll never be able to change."

"_Maybe I don't wish to play that role anymore._" he replied inside.

"Do you expect to escape from your sins this way? There's a price for each crime you've committed and rejoiced."

"_I'm not trying to deny what I've done... what I want is to leave it behind me._"

"But still, you agree on taking the burden of your evil deeds?"

"_... They're mine alone._"

"Then, you must accept this punishment. The most cruel and unfair of them all."

"_And that punishment is... life itself._"

"Kuja, your life is precious." her voice whispered to his wounded skull.

He rustled beneath his teeth. "No, it's not. It just... had meaning. It scarred, it dripped, then faded. My life meant something that needs to be forgotten."

"Your life is precious to me. Your existence means a lot to me. So, please, don't fade away."

_It felt warm. So warm._

* * *

><p>Terra was kind by nature. He chose well when he decided to fall for her, it seemed. But she was still so naïve and tender. Why in the world did he ever try to change that? His tail still hurt after his first attempt. Maybe he should give it up; he couldn't get everything he wanted.<p>

He was extremely picky with his clothes—old habits die hard—, putting himself together with a green bolero feathered with different shades of blue and green. Underneath it he wore a white baggy sleeved shirt, he accompanied his new codpiece with some leather tights and finally some iron boots, that well, were originally means for a female warrior, but he was fine with them. He couldn't walk much anyways.

When he was taken to see the Goddess, Terra led him by taking his hand ever since he had a hard time to go on his own feet. It was a most awkward situation to see the girl taking a much gentlemanly role over him. But it was fine. She was still sweet and good. Her delicious appearance kept on torturing his eyes and that was more than well.

They walked quite a while, until she suggested that they could go faster gliding. He had to agree, now that he recovered enough power to use that magic. And she kept on holding his hand so softly yet so firmly.

Arriving to the white sanctuary of Cosmos was incredibly simple, in a way that Kuja even wondered how couldn't the Warriors of Chaos accomplish it at this ease. Probably the other warriors of light left their guard down because he was special; they knew about Cosmos' wish.

The warrior girl took him to some sort of watered large plain on the top of the Sanctuary's tower. The purity of its whiteness could even hurt his eyes, although there was a relative amount of light there. Terra guided him to where Cosmos' throne was placed, and she was sitting there, expectant. Somehow, her light seemed less brighter in this place.

"... You came after all." Her sky-blue eyes gazed at both, but she directed one gentle smile to the girl and fluttered her seemingly fragile hand, in a way to tell Terra to leave them alone.

Terra first stared at Kuja again and lowered her gaze, later turning back without him. When he was certain that the girl left, he looked upon Cosmos with cold eyes, walking with care closer to the beautiful deity.

"I know exactly for what have you called, Cosmos. And I understand the confidence we're sharing."

"... Then you must understand as well why can't you tell a thing to the warriors."

Kuja chuckled dryly at her. "Even now, you're weak and tired. But not defenseless. Once they discover the last of your crystals... you'll be at Chaos' mercy. Why would you make such an unreliable plan? Your warriors are going to fail, and you'll be the only one to be blamed... You're leaving them to die with a false hope."

But she remained unaltered to his claims, as if she expected every word he'd spit.

"It may seem pointless to you. But sometimes it is hope just what they need to survive. Hope is such a misterious power that can make the difference between victory and defeat."

"I didn't knew that Cosmos herself would possess such a dark nature as well." he purred, finding himself slightly haughty.

"This needs to be done if I want to give them a chance to go back to their worlds. Even if it breaks the rules, it is a worthy sacrifice."

"... Are saying that it is necessary having you to die in order to return them to their worlds?" Kuja knew this small secret all along, but he always had his own interpretation of the facts. "And therefore... Chaos needs to die as well, isn't it?"

"I know what do you think, Kuja. You might think that the better choice should be to defeat Chaos first."

"And I don't want to assume there's some sort of trap that instantly bounds you with the God of Discord, is it?" he asked, looking with extreme detail her expression. At the moment he saw the Goddess turn down her gaze, he has his theory approved. "My, and you weren't even preparing them to such responsability, were you?

"... Right now, the warriors aren't ready to face that dark power."

"So, you intend to give your warriors a taste of crude despair so they can use your death as their flag to pierce through victory? What an amusing strategy, madam." Kuja stroke his chin with fascination, smirking cruelly at her. "Never before I've admired such self-sacrifice. Something like this can't even come from a goddess."

"Balance can't exist without both Harmony and Chaos. To restore this universe's balance, we can either live together in peace or die. If one of us dies, then the other won't be able to rule the universe. The world will just... collapse into eternal death."

"What a lovely story. It truly breaks my heart. But you see, your warriors will end up messing everything if you don't let them know. It is clear that the warriors of Discord don't care much about this universe breaking apart, but with the proper plan, we could at least make Chaos be rational about—" But his words seemed to slip on her, and her gloomy expression said it all. "Chaos isn't aware of the nature of your existence, is he?"

The eyes of Cosmos closed at his question, holding an evident gesture of grief forming on her gentle face. She almost looked human.

"The warring cycles have destroyed not only the memories of the warriors, but also managed to diminish the mind of the gods. I only know this because it was Cid's voice who whispered this to me."

"Cid?"

"Our maker." she responded, rising her head up with pride.

Just now, Cosmos attacked him with questions he couldn't have thought by himself before. The Gods weren't all-mighty and he always knew it, but he didn't imagine that they had a Maker of their own, and probably another one pulling the strings on this war. Kuja now felt tiny with the realization of how little he knew.

The white mage walked quietly towards the Goddess of Harmony, while she kept on watching him with no prejudice on her pure eyes. She had a kind soul, but full of regrets, just like Terra's.

"If we can't make Chaos change his mind, then we're doomed."

"Diplomacy isn't an option now. Even if we could make Chaos reason, this conflict wouldn't cease until the war was truly over." she replied, a bit demanding. A dim fire burnt within her. "Kuja, there's a greater force watching us. Until we're reduced to nothingness, we cannot be freed from this war. We only can proceed playing under its rules."

"Is it... that Cid, perhaps?"

"No. Cid couldn't have accomplished this scenery on his own. _Something else_ granted him that wish."

Kuja sighed frustrated. "Unless there's a way to defy that entity you're talking about, we can't do else but to follow the rules... What is _that being_, in any case?" Cosmos just leaned her head down a little, serving as an indicator that she shared such feelings.

"I'm afraid I can't even begin to explain. I can only tell you that it's far more powerful than Chaos and I together. And wiser." Then she satred back at the young mane, this time as solemn as ever. "And if you're wise as I imagine, you won't find a way to fight it."

"I guess there's no use." He smirked woefully. "What a loathsome scheme, Cosmos. Brilliant and cruel. What a tragedy. To keep yourself together, even when you know you must die; without escape, without hope, without happiness. Doesn't it hurt you, to know death will drag you down without giving you the chance to fight back?"

The significance of his own words re-opened the wounded heart. He wished to speak of Cosmos' misfortune, but in fact, he was speaking of himself in a way. His gray façade chipped with the realization of twin fates.

"It does. But I can deal with it." she answered calmly. "And I appreciate your sympathy. You must know well that pain too."

He frowned, but felt unable to contradict her assumption. She already knew about his agony, and he'd become even more hypocrite by denying its existence. He had to accept that they were all aware that pain was real and it lived on every single soul.

"... Well, what would you expect from a warrior of chaos? We all live inside our little fairy-tale. Where the evil ones perish in the hands of good." He waved his hands elegantly and stared at her bitterly. "Quite a cliché ending, but it's closer to reality than we could ever admit. Evil never wins."

"You're not evil, Kuja. You've just taken the wrong decissions, and you're suffering the consequences. We all do bear consequences."

"Both us we'll meet an end to our choices, Cosmos." he murmured. "You've chosen to sacrifice your warriors' trust for a chance to let them go home. That decission will be paid with your blood."

"... Please, let them find their own light. Just as you've been doing." Cosmos said, almost a faint plea to him.

Kuja grinned slowly placing his index finger against his mouth. "My lips are sealed."

* * *

><p>He wasn't accostumed to his new surroundings, all made of white and light. Its dead silence was fairly shared among peace and tension, so he couldn't tell he liked this enviroment at all.<p>

Maybe too silent for his taste.

He had to glide all his way back, since he found his legs supporting far more injuries than he thought. It was such an incovenience to be unable to cast healing spells in this world, but where would the fun be if they kept on healing each other to no-end? It was much more entertaining and dramatic if they could die.

Kuja traced his way back, and then noticed that a certain fellow began to stalk him some minutes ago. Wasn't the most pleasant of creatures, but it had the decency of showing himself after a while.

'_If it isn't that dull swordsman with the scar on his face. I bet my soul he isn't going for a compliment on my fast recovery._' The teenager was unarmed, but not open, hence he still wanted to believe it wasn't safe to trust Kuja.

"What were you talking about with Cosmos?" he roughly asked, holding a cold expression.

"My, watch those manners. Shouldn't you at least start by an introduction?" Kuja taunted, touching his lower lip with his thin fingers.

Squall scowled. "You already know my name. What was your business with Cosmos?"

"Private business, young man. May you at least owe Cosmos that respect?"

"What would she want with you anyways?"

"Jealous bit?" Kuja smirked with malice at the youngster, almost inviting him to lose his temper, but Squall limited himself to stare at the mage and turned around, taking his leave. "I thought so."

Kuja sat gently on the top of one pillar, providing himself a small rest after such a tiring annoyance. But he knew it wasn't really over yet. Someone else was there, watching him. The mage turned around to see the blonde swordsman of dark clothes; hadn't noticed before her had a peculiar shine on his eyes.

"Hello there." Kuja greeted, acid smile for the intriguing Cloud.

"Are you doing fine?"

"What a surprising courtesy. Why can't your other comrades be more polite?"

Cloud shuddered, showing himself uncaring for the question. _Dear, he appeared to be such a dull character. _

"But, seriously... what was so important that Cosmos wanted to talk to you privately?"

The silver mage arched one eyebrow. "Cloud, please. For some reason we call it private, don't we? But be sure, soon you'll know. Everyone will."

Cloud twisted his mouth. "I'm concerned of that."

"Afraid of something, aren't you?"

"We naturally fear of what we don't know. So call it whatever you wish." he answered in monotone voice.

"A humble warrior who recognizes his own doubts. That's refreshing."

"... Otherwise, we wouldn't know whenever we're mistaken."

"Can you tell them apart?"

"Not always. Sometimes we can't control our insight."

"Is it stupidity?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Stupidity and pride are barely separated from each other."

"Perhaps they're synonyms. But Pride allows us to live on, Stupidity however, is a certain path to death."

"Sometimes, pride does the same thing, doesn't it? But there's always certain levels of both that can be either sane of deadly."

The mage smiled softly, amused by the man's ability to reason. "My, my, shouldn't you begin taking philosophy lessons instead of fighting this war?"

"Kuja, how was it?" Terra practically materialized out of nowhere, taking Kuja by surprise from below the pillar. It took Kuja a few seconds to catch his grin back to the girl. She seemed so full of enthusiasm and hope.

"What a comforting reception, my dear girl." said he, imitating the flower of joy that bloomed from her lips. "It went good."

"So... you can stay with us?"

Terra's question leaned Cloud closer to the conversation.

"I suppose so. My company is optional, however. Can't force you to delight yourselfves over my wonderful persona yet."

"Delight?"

"In other words, I'll be just a leech for your glory, not your most grateful and charming companion, for I refuse to lower myself to the happy hypocrisy that many of you represent."

"We aren't hypocrites." Cloud replied uncomfortable.

"You don't need to sympathize with someone like me just for a moral look. I know who I am, and I don't need the fake charity of some zealous champions to move foward."

"... So, are we hypocrites just because we wanna help you?" Cloud crossed his arms, ill at ease. "That's ridiculous."

"What can I say? I'm not good for you."

Terra moved up and frowned at the other magician, upset of his recent perfomance. "Kuja, I told you to don't do that..."

He just shook his shoulders nonchalantly. "It isn't like I must force your dear friends to interact with me against their wish and judgement."

"Maybe you can make them change their minds about you if you were... nicer."

"_Nicer_?" he chuckled. "Am I not polite enough to give them the liberty to judge me for the person I really am?"

"Well..."

"Or perhaps would Cloud be so kind to share his view about my character development?"

The soldier huffed, finally reaching to the point Kuja intended to drive him: annoyance. "... Not interested."

"Sorry, Cloud." Oh, dear girl; she needn't to apologize in his name. She looked back again to Kuja, easily vexed. "And then what? You're not gonna make any friends with that attitude, Kuja."

"Who said I was here to make friends, bird?" he explained, smirking mischievously. "There's far more important things to take into matter."

The girl sat down sighing in stress. Again, she chose to sit right beside him, sharing the pillar with him. Everytime this pattern of events happened, they were about to talk about serious affairs. He learned to read her body language rather slowly, but now he was ready to predict her.

Her cinder blonde locks were all disordered on her loose hair bun, making him wonder why would she do that to her gorgeous hair. It looked better when it was unbound with a ponytail. Her new attire was quite intriguing nevertheless. Vaguely he wondered if she chose to show her belly just because he previously did.

"Yes, now that you mention it..." she muttered in soft voice. "Kuja, take me again as your student."

Coldly he turned his face away. "Aren't you already needless of my teachings? You're far more powerful than me. What else do you want from me, may I ask?"

"I'm not that powerful yet. I want you to teach me how to cast one spell, and you're the only one who can show me. You're always the only one."

He murmured down his throat, dry and numb: "... Ultima, am I right?"

"That one."

He remembered when he first learnt that spell. Back when he wasn't an expert mage, if he wasn't aware of how close it brought him to death, he surely got frightened the first time he casted that spell. It wasn't until entering in Trance when he could master it... and he didn't give a good use to Ultima in that instance.

When he was brought to this world, unconsciously he became able to use this spell without the dangers it implied, war after war, conquering its use to crush his enemies. Of course, Terra's case was entirely different. Even if she knew that spell already, if was likely that she already lost any notion of her ever having that magic.

"You're aware of how destructive that spell can be? If you fail to master it you might perish trying." he warned. Besides, neither she nor he could be brought back if they ever killed each other accidentaly in practice.

"... I'll take my chances on it. Besides, you've told be relentlessly that I'm strong enough. I can learn it, just as long as you teach me."

"Fine."

Sometimes, Terra's determination could be such a trouble for him. Or was he growing worried?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.**

**I promise next update won't take this long. :/**


	18. Their Bonds

**XVIII. Their Bonds.**

It wasn't as if he didn't appreciate the half-warm welcome the guys gave to his supposed-to-be sibling, he perfectly understood everyone's interest to share a small interaction with the pale genome, yet Zidane himself wished to have his own space within Kuja's time schedule with each Cosmos' Warrior. He was from the same world, yet he still knew so little about him.

Wanting to talk, but of what? How to speak to him, without ending up in struggle? The young good-hearted thief stepped in and walk in a curve around the lonesome mage, who stood quietly before the isolated wastelands beyond Cosmos' territory. There was no wind blowing in this world, yet some sort of echo flyed surrounding the epicene man.

"Hey, what's up?" whistled the blonde teen, his long tail waved in nervous anticipation. Kuja barely moved his head in response to the sound of his brother's voice.

"_What is up_? I only see a lifeless gray sky, Zidane." he answered in emotionless tone.

"No, I mean... I was just saying _hi_ to you. How are you?"

"... Decently."

"Huh. I see..." A boring predictable start, but at least they managed to exchange words. Zidane turned to Kuja's side and watched with feeble curiosity. "Heard you're going to give her lessons again. She's grown pretty strong because of you."

"I imagine she must see me as an ideal teacher."

"Everyone is going to watch you guys, do you mind?"

Kuja slightly moved his head, out of the corner of his eye observed his younger fellow rising an eyebrow. "Don't say it as if I'm not aware. Of course you will watch and there's no longer reason to hide our activities, but the truth is that you want to reassure yourselves that I don't intend any kind of mischievous activities with your beloved Terra."

"Well, yeah. You summed it all up perfectly."

"... You're so easy to read sometimes."

He was annoyed, but Kuja would need to try harder if he wished to shoo him away.

"U-huh. So... what's your deal with Terra?"

"Beg you pardon?"

"I think it's a lot of obvious what I mean. You guys have been so close and all."

"... Why? Just because I seem to be very emotionally attatched to the girl, it doesn't mean I hold a feverous fondness for her."

"Yeah, sure." Zidane grinned, spotting a sort of twitch on Kuja's mouth. "You like her more than just a friend, admit it."

"What can you know, Zidane? She protects me, and so I will to. How different is that from the kind of protection you provide to your little friends?"

"That they're my buddies and I'm not into guys, that's the thing." he snorted. "Why do you hide what is so obvious?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand what're you talking about, you worm."

"You know, Terra would do anything for the sake of her friends, that's very clear... but the way she looks at you, the tone she uses when she talks about you, how she walks around you... haven't you noticed? I may not be older than you, but I can tell when a girl is in love with someone."

Kuja sighed and stared at the boy with impatient eyes. "Quite the ladies-man you are, huh." said unamused.

"And then there's you." the youth shuddered.

"And then there's me." the silver mage repeated, brushing with white fingers the length of his hair. "Zidane, do you even realize that you're not in a position to judge my character? You're not just a kid, but someone who is completely uncapable to understand."

"Doesn't mean that I don't try." Zidane scratched his head, straying his gaze somwhere else. "At least she does understand you, and that says a lot about you. Doesn't it?"

"Soon or later, she'll have to realize I'm not the right man for her. Everything she thinks she feels for me it's nothing but a platonic emotion."

He observed him quietly for a few seconds; he crossed his arms and tilted his head close. "You too want to deceive yourself with that platonic feeling, am I wrong?"

It was a strange feeling to look so directly at his dark blue eyes, making Zidane unconsciously confused to see such a striking familiarity with the other genome. He could often forget that they both were born from the same root, since they both grown to have such striking differences. But here it was the proof, now that he looked closely, that they were both made from the same mold. In some way, it scared him.

But he was so absorbed by this brief analysis of Kuja's features that he almost didn't hear his delightful reply. The older one's mouth twisted in irritation.

"And what do you know? Nothing. Now, keep that trap of yours shut before I close it myself."

"Sheesh, you don't have to be such a dick." Zidane then figured out he was far more used to the moody side of his former nemesis. "By the way, I'm going to bother you with another question, if that's alright."

"What is it?"

"I heard you've got back all your memories... do you know if I'm currently hanging out with a pretty girl?"

Kuja closened his eyelids focusing his stare on Zidane so hard that it appeared he wanted to burn him with his eyes—_was he even capable of doing a thing like that?_—as his expression stiffened.

"... You're married to a cow and you have ten children."

The lad chuckled abruptly, and the mage turned around to get away. "Nice one! I know you're joking, Kuja, right?... _Right_?"

* * *

><p>She fed her hopes of someday being able to stop hiding secrets from her friends, and this was the day. Yet, the pinching sensation inside her stomach kept on twisting, making her shoulder shivery and her mouth do stupid sounds.<p>

Her friends weren't there to supervise her, just to see. It wasn't supposed to be strange, since she previously watched them fencing and warming up, ergo it meant this wasn't any different. Yet... why was she feeling to flustered right now?

"Kuja, I don't know... with everyone watching, I feel that I can't really do this."

He grinned diverted with her small crisis. "You're so adorable when you're frightened."

"Don't fool around, I'm serious."

"Just be like me: pretend that they don't exist."

"... That's very cold."

"Otherwise, do your best to impress them. They are your audience."

"I... I'm not sure if putting it that way makes me feel any better." Kuja was beginning to grow cranky with her excuses.

"For goodness sake. Just do what I tell you, girl."

Terra tried to put her feet still on the dusty ground, but couldn't help to flinch again and again back to see the others watching from afar. Her face felt hot and couldn't help it.

"You... are you nervous too?" she asked in tiny shy voice.

"What are you jabbering about?"

"Nothing."

"Fine. First, do you even remember the last actual lesson we had?"

"... Yes?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"... I guess that's my statement."

"And what was it?"

"What was what?"

"The last lesson I taught you, Terra."

"Ah, yes... _I forgot it_."

"How could you forget it! You've just told me that you remembered it!"

"I thought I did, but now I can't!"

"I can't believe you! Do you even remember how to get started?"

"I... Uh... Well, yes, I guess—"

"—_YOU GUESS_? You'd better get started now!"

"But I can't!"

"Focus, girl! Focus! FOCUS!"

"Why are you so angry?"

"Who told you you could change subject?"

"I'm sorry! Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you! I need you to stay focused!"

"But you seem mad."

"I'm not! Stop keeping me away from the subject!"

"How can I do something when you're all mad?"

"I SAID I'M NOT MAD!"

"Don't yell at me so madly!"

"I'M NOT MAD, BUT NOW I'M HYSTERICAL!"

"Then calm down!"

They paused, both huffing and gasping, Kuja looked particularly wild and exhausted, more likely to be frustrated. The girl suddenly cowered on her own embrace, feeling irrational and unfair for causing him such an uproar.

Kuja seemed to calm down slowly, he brushed back those lingering locks on his flustered face and then held a pacific look upon her.

"... Did you plan this argument to happen?" he asked in the most serene utter he had. She was amazed at how fast he regained his cool.

"Sorry, but I'm still nervous..." she confesed droping her gaze down, concealing the strong blushing that invaded her face. Lately, when he adquired such a tranquil voice, its power made her heart's pulse go erratic.

"Now, leave that inhibition behind. Let's review to the part you've forgotten."

* * *

><p>"What's with all that ruckus?" asked the genome, taking his place next to his friend Bartz. Squall and Onion Knight were sitting there too, watchful on the magic users.<p>

"They seem to be arguing about who's mad, I think." Onion answered, sighing at his lack of understanding to the discussion from afar.

"They look like a soap opera from here..." Squall mumbled.

"A _what_?"

"Nevermind."

"We're nerving them because we watch from the distance, it seems." mentioned the small warrior.

"Shouldn't we leave then?" Bartz asked.

"... Nay. I want to watch them enter in heat, if you know what I mean." Zidane grinned, fitting himself comfortably. Bartz chuckled along his lines. "Anyways Squall, why, among us all, did you decide to stay and watch?"

"It doesn't concern you." he snarled emotionlessly.

Zidane turned to Onion Knight meanwhile. "By the way, how're Tidus and Firion doing with their crystals?"

"I don't know about Tidus, but Firion seems to be getting closer. Warrior has been a little bit quiet now, so..."

"He's a lone-wolf, he'll deal with it just fine." Bartz shook his shoulders staring at Squall, who seemingly ignored the compliment. "And I still gotta get mine, but Zidane, aren't you worried about yours?"

"Watcha mean, Bartz?"

"So far, each one of had to fight their own world's enemy, right? Like Squall here who fought that ugly witch, like Cloud that fought the creeper guy, Terra who defeated the scary clown... I know I gotta fight Exdeath somehow, but... what about you?"

During these words, Squall also contributed.

"Now that Kuja is no longer on Chaos' side, how will you fight to obtain your crystal?"

"... I really haven't thought how am I going to get mine. But I think that I don't need to fight Kuja to find it."

"That's naïve. The crystal isn't going to appear in front of your nose just when you least expect."

"Heh, I guess it is. But of one thing I am sure: I ain't gonna find it fighting my brother. No. I'm sure that something else will happen."

"That's just the spirit!"

"Whatever."

"Alright...—Oh, look! They're starting to do something!" Onion pointed out. The rest three of them turned their eyes back to the couple of mages in the middle of the field.

They seemed to be sharing some low words and then Terra nodded to Kuja. Then she started to spin around in a rather slow manner. Then Kuja did the same kind of moves, just in a more graceful manner.

"... Is he teaching her magic or dancing?" Squall mumbled. Everyone was just as uncertain as the teen.

"Beats me." Zidane shrugged. And then Bartz added.

"No, he's the one who looks like dancing. Just check out how he moves. Is he perfoming some kind of mating dance ritual or something?"

Onion fluttered at the mime with a red pair of cheeks on his face. Zidane smirked at the boy's expression.

"Nope, that's just the way he is, trust me." he guessed. "Terra is just trying to get the important bits of it, although it'd be nice to see her dance."

Squall slightly lifted one eyebrow. "Should you talk that way?"

"Well, she's cute."

"You some sort of skirt-chaser?" asked Bartz.

"A what?" Onion gasped, turning even redder.

"Why do you ask?" Zidane simply wondered with a smile on his face.

"The way you talk about girls."

"I know how to treat ladies, and that's all you need to know." He lifted his face up with pride.

"So, let me suppose, if I wanted to flirt with a chick, you'd be the one I'd ask for advices and that sort of thing?"

"Yeah, if only we knew more girls around here..."

The cheery mime leaped to were the leather coated teen was and giggled. "Heard that, Squall? If you have a girlfriend, you'd better hide her from this womanizer."

"HEY!"

* * *

><p>It became hard to wander around on his own now. His head was so filled with troubles that he didn't know how to fix. Zidane knew his friends were right, that he was even more lost on his quest for the crystal, gift of the Goddess.<p>

If he couldn't fight Kuja anymore, how in heavens would he find that sacred power? Obviously, he wasn't willing to dash against his newly reconciliated sibling, and it was likely that they wouldn't agree to battle to see what would happen... _right?_

He'd discuss it with him now, but... how to put it? It wasn't like saying: '_Hi Kuja, I need to get my crystal without fighting you. Any ideas?_'

And precisely, sspeaking of the devil, there he was, straying around Prima Vista's stage. Somehow it wasn't surprising to see him in this place. He was a tragedian of some kind, so it was understandable to see him loving the stage of wood facing the fantastic landscape that reminded him of a very significant place. Not quite sure of what place it was, but Zidane _knew_ it was important.

Kuja was found in an awkward position on the stage's stairs, sitting there with his knees under his chin and his head sloping his left, eyes lost in the beautiful scenery. Somehow, Zidane felt this was strange. His brother looked so childish like this.

"... Why are you so lonely? I thought I'd see you with Terra again..." Zidane approached walking up the stairs, and Kuja did not even look back at him once. "Something's wrong?"

"I like it here."

He shook his shoulders. "Okay..." Then he sat at Kuja's left, uneasy about the cold behavior his fellow showed. "Mind if I join you?"

"You already did, moron." Kuja muttered back, suddenly taking back a more formal position to sit.

They shared silence then. He could understand why was he seeking loneliness, and they were both wanting to cool down their minds in order to think carefully about their next course. Kuja, needless to say, was suffering beyond what Zidane could repair. There was a pitch black path that the white mage followed for too long and now he was lost in a place filled with lights that burned him. It was a sort of light he didn't quite understand.

Zidane could just show him the way, but the steps were meant to be made on Kuja's own will. However, the youth hadn't a responsability with Kuja, so he wasn't the one to be blamed if Kuja chose to stray in the same place countless times. Yet, deep inside, Zidane forced himself to keep reaching out. He couldn't bear the thought of failing to save someone who touched his heart.

The teen looked at his brother out of the corner of his eye. The other genome was so quiet and still, his morbid beauty was captivating in a scary way. His pale feautures were so perfect and sexually ambiguous that he looked like a doll. Only dolls made by artisans could have such scary perfection. And what scared Zidane the most was the fact that his face wasn't really that different...

'I should stop looking at him in such a creepy way. I gotta say something, now.'

The blonde boy sighed loudly, calling for Kuja's attention. "... Must be kind of weird, to suddenly find yourself surrounded by all these nice guys, right? I guess it can be hard to get adapted to this—"

"—Knowing from where I come from and what I used to do. Is that what you meant?" Suddenly, their eyes were meeting. The older one's were cold and dark upon the thief's brilliant ones. "I like it lonely, haven't you occured on that?"

"No. I just think... I could figure you out if we had a little talk." With this, the thespian have a dry chuckle kind of sound.

"And what do you wish to talk about? Just the two of us can come up with all the hideous topics we can possibly find. You may not remember what I've done to you, but I do. And I can't bear that while you attempt to befriend me."

Those were painful words, but the kid didn't mind. If Kuja wanted to play the drama, he knew how to strike back. "What makes you think that I don't remember?" said he, lighthearted as always.

The expression of Kuja softened, almost tenderly, recalling those past events.

"You're kind, Zidane. You're too kind. And I can't simply accept that."

"And how've come you accept Terra's kindness instead?"

Here it came the troubled expression. "... The harm I've done her is not to be compared to what I did to you."

"Now, that's a little hypocrital of your part, Kuja. You've hurt her a little and it seems acceptable for you to take her friendship? Just admit it already, you're totally in love with the lady."

A disquietening tension formed under that allegation. Kuja bit down his lower lip and frowned, not mad, but grieved.

"I won't reply that for your own amusement. Besides... in the end, she'll have to realize I'm not hers and she's not mine."

It was supposed to be painful, and he was right. If the war ever came to an end, they would be torn apart because of their place of belonging. Terra had a place to return, it couldn't be helped.

Zidane grinned bitterly. "Are you afraid of breaking her heart? At least give her a meaningful memory. Make her remember she was loved. Just for her." He dared. The young man dared to touch Kuja's shoulder in a simple show of sympathy for him. "Even when we'll be taking different ways once this is over, grant her that small wish before it's too late. Trust me."

However, Kuja reacted violently to his brother's touch, lifting himself away from the stairs. His stare was grim and pungent to the boy. He didn't move.

"What are you trying to do, Zidane? You should aspire to more than just satisfying your heroic ego. I'm not yours to be saved."

The thief just smiled gently. "What if I tell you that I don't care?"

"You're wasting your time."

"Well, it's my time, and I can waste it however I want."

"Stop it."

And Zidane didn't stop, so he stood valiantly to face the other. "I don't want to. We can go back home together, even heartbroken, we're together on this."

Suddenly, Zidane was backhanded in such a fierce way he was sent flying down the stairs of Prima Vista.

'_Sure he hits hard to be just a mage..._' The blonde genome slowly tried to get himself up, reacting to the newest bruises on his arms and legs. He also hit his nose, so it was bleeding profusely. He stared up at Kuja, trying so hard to hold no regrets to what he just did.

"What _home_ are you jabbering about?" Kuja grunted in disbelief, still standing on the higher stairs. "We can't belong together, can't you understand? I am not welcome in the place you'll return! I've destroyed everything your loved-ones once cherished! I've converted their dreams and hopes into ashes. All their innocence and peace was shattered with my very own hands. Stop pitying the wrong person."

"Kuja..."

"You disgust me." said the silver haired one as he glided away and far.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Comic relief too much? Anyways, I thought I hadn't given enought development to Kuja and Zidane's interaction and they're my favorites. Btw, I'm a nasty person, so I'll update with some sort of tiny sub-chapter after this. And I anticipate you that it'll have a little more of romance and unf. **


	19. Eyes of the Paranoid

**XIX. Eyes of the Paranoid.**

As he waited, always watchful for each move, the teenager began to question why was he spending his time like this. He already obtained his crystal, yet that wasn't a real excuse for his recent activities around the adoptive member of Cosmos' crusaders. Squall scowled and clenched his fist in confusion. What drove him to follow Kuja like this?

It wasn't as if he liked the guy, no way in hell, but ever since he spotted him coming out of Cosmos' Sanctuary, the youth suddenly felt something was wrong.

The shadow was dim, almost invisible shadow that embraced the androgynous mage. Squall knew that it wasn't anywhere near normal for him to see such aura while others didn't seem to notice. In the beginning, he thought it might be a common feature of a Warrior of Chaos, except that Kuja was not longer one. It didn't seem to have an explanation.

In regards this, Squall couldn't simply ignore it. Whatever it was, he knew it didn't mean anything good nor neutral. He felt it in his guts, like an old familiar pain and anguish that was whispering from the back of his skull that it was a danger zone. He couldn't explain it though.

Before he'd know, the young man started to watch every single activity of the former Discord soldier. So far, the most suspicious thing he saw him do was that argument against Zidane, that ended up rather violently with a backhand. Even when he wanted to, Squall didn't interfere to give away his position.

He watched him several times alone with Terra. Nothing out of ordinary in that aspect. Kuja seemed to respect that girl more than enough to don't attempt perjury in any way. Right now, they were right there, in another copy-paste of Cosmos' sanctuary, training as usual.

On those special occasions, it wasn't necessary to conceal his presence to them, since some of his own comrades also liked to go there and watch Kuja and Terra practice together.

Today Terra had a few problems with her concentration, and each time she tried to cast the powerful magic, she failed even faster than every last time. '_Must be hell frustrating_', he thought, rubbing his chin with his gloved hand.

"You haven't done well. You aren't focusing."

"... I'm trying."

"Well, it isn't good enough. You can do better than that, but you're too afraid to reach that far!"

"Alright... What have I taught you this far?"

"Passive control."

"Correct."

"Constant movement."

"And?"

"Clear thoughts."

"That's right. These are the obligatory elements you need if you ever want to master Ultima."

"Yes, but even when I do as you say, all I ever manage to do is to cast Holy and Flare."

"Those spells are the most powerful after Ultima, it's natural to end up summoning those elements priorly. In this case, however, you truly demonstrate a great ability to fire Flare fastly even after Holy."

"Isn't that just the same you do?"

"Of course. But you've shown greater ease on casting them at that speed. Use that to favor yourself."

"But still, my current spells are barely match against most of Chaos Warriors. I need Ultima if I want to have a great chance to defeat them all with no problem."

It sounded like a good plan, actually. Even he realized the girl had a lot of power, and it'd come in handy in the most fierce of fights. The problem here was Terra's self-confidence still under construction. This seemed like something great for a girl like her, yet it was obvious how much she didn't trust her own resolve.

"That's a nice ambition, Terra. I'm starting to like that side of you."

"... And what if I need to transform to perform that spell?"

"Good judgement, dear. But I don't think that it'll be necessary."

"But—"

"First, try to push yourself harder when you use that small combination of Holy and Flare, perhaps you can trigger your Ultima spell in that way. Trust in me."

"... Alright."

"We should next time... try to test your magic skills within an orde of manikins." said the vicious soul. "And I'm serious about this."

Surprisingly, the girl seemed quite habituated to Kuja's grim sense of humor and logic. "Well, you're the teacher." she shuddered. "Anyways, I think I'll be heading to back up Bartz, because I'm sure he's getting closer to obtain his crystal."

"Great, while you aid your friend, use that chance to prove yourself what can you do."

"Uhm... wouldn't you like to come with us?"

"I'm not coming after those twerps, Terra. But... if so much you desire my assistance, I don't see why shouldn't I follow you. I must supervise each advance you make."

"It was alright if you just said _Yes_, Kuja."

* * *

><p>It was almost strange to wander in a place he instinctively knew it was impossible to be. From studies he remembered, maybe not quite, people shouldn't be able to breathe on the surface of the Moon, yet this was the Moon of a different world, and probably it'd be the most normal thing around. Anyways, he couldn't shake off this feeling of anxiety while walking on lunar territory.<p>

Kuja seemed to like this place. The weirdo had been sitting there on the rock for a large while, alone, occasionally humming to himself. This was a useless observation now, but Squall didn't want to consider the idea of leaving just yet.

"Hello... I thought I'd be alone here." He heard Cecil's voice crossing casually over the lunar rocks. He had returned to his Dark Knight attire again. Kuja just tilted his head a little and bent his knees up and placed his feet against the piece of gray earth he was sitting on.

"Worry not, knight, I'll leave immediately."

But Cecil passively rushed his steps and asked in sober voice. "Kuja, wait please." And Kuja stopped, staring at the other warrior contemplative.

"Do you wish to speak?"

"If you're not against it. I won't force you if you don't want."

The silver-haired mage turned his face fastly, lowering his gaze to the ground. "... What business do you have, warrior?"

"You can address me as Cecil, if that's fine."

"Cecil... my apologies, but you can see how much I bore of companionship right now."

"I can imagine it is. Making yourself acquainted with new people is hard, even more when they wish to lend you help."

"... You're a Dark Knight, aren't you?"

"Also a Paladin."

Squall heard a short chuckle from the mage. "Such a thing is possible? I admit I'm impressed. I don't wish to suppose you're bipolar." But, surprisingly, past this comment the other warrior didn't sound offended in anyway.

"I'm not familiar with that term, but I'm just merely a two-sided coin. However... I suppose that these changes are directly linked with my own past."

"Say, you once compromised yourself with the wrong side, is that what you mean to tell me?"

"But I'm not here to advice you about your own doings, rest assured."

"What a relief. These past days I haven't heard any else than cheap advice of a bunch of _goody-two-shoes_."

"In fact, what I really want to speak with you, if I'm forgiven, it's about Golbez."

There was a brief silence between those, and the teenage spy had to hold his breath just to don't be heard by those two.

Kuja just sighed, but the youth couldn't tell if it was meant to be expression of displeasure or relief. "I see, then you must be his little brother. I hope you understand, but I have nothing to tell you about him, for I never... had such interactions with him."

In a similar manner, Cecil did a similar kind of sigh, so unusual to his formal way to express himself. "Of course, I didn't expect you to know everything I wanted."

"... In fact, I think he tried to warn me."

"He did what?"

"Back then, when I was still unaware of the trap they put me through, I remember he said that I was underestimating my situation. Such a shame I realize his good intentions right now, when it's already too late."

"... Thank goodness... Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to disregard you."

"You're glad he's not a Chaos Warrior entirely? I never conceived him as such, frankly."

"... Do you think he can be in danger, Kuja?"

"He's prudent enough. He'll be out of trouble for a long while, I assure you, Cecil." Squall perceived an arrogant tone drawling out of Kuja's throat. "AND do not tease me for how respectful I sound right now. I am not perfect, and I make mistakes, _not as often as many of you_, but yes, I do."

"Don't hurt your pride so shamelessly. Acknowledging your own misdoings you're saving your own pride."

The peacock elegant man let out a small modest laugh. "I suppose you're right. Perhaps, your dear brother knows well what do we mean."

"I hope so... Haven't you ever thought of Zidane in the same manner?" Unconsciously, Squall rubbed his face with his palm to Cecil's question.

"... I'm afraid that just because we happen to be related doesn't mean that we have a brotherly bond like the one you share with that thaumaturge."

"But still—"

"—It doesn't matter if I can make things right for him, if I can compensate the damage I've done, it doesn't change the fact that I despise that kid and I will always hate what he's done to me." The teen frowned to this statement. He heard something very different not too long ago when Zidane talked to him.

"Then it can't be helped." Cecil replied softly, understanding.

"And you, haven't you got reasons to hold a grudge against that man?"

"I do have them, but I'd be wasting my time. If I have a brother, if I have someone with whom I can return home and cares for me as well, makes it easy to forgive those regrets."

"What if you can't both return to the same place?" Now there was something clearly daunted on those words.

"Then at least I want to make sure he'll return safe and sound to the place he belongs."

"... How heartwarming." Kuja murmured.

The noble knight was about to say something else, but Squall noticed that he stopped, while stretching his neck up, looking past the renegade warrior. The teen felt those invisible eyes looking right were he was, and unsuspecting, Cecil greeted from afar. Squall's stomach tightened. Kuja looked back as well, realizing the nature of this game.

"Oh, hello." said Cecil while waving humbly. Squall just turned and acted as if he was just passing by, trying to ignore them uselessly.

"What mockery is this? Too rude to come out and greet his fellow warrior?" Kuja spat with scornful tone.

"Squall is still just a child. He's timid at times, I suppose."

He just silently gritted his teeth at the annoying words. '_I've heard that, idiot._'

* * *

><p>Since she learned to trust Kuja's capability to don't get in trouble, she begun to feel less burdened while having him wander on his own. It was in many ways a weird thought. Almost in the same way she felt concerned about Onion Knight, yet it was very different. Kuja, unlike Onion, wasn't a child. Not in the literal sense of the word at least.<p>

But this wasn't time to bring up such thoughts. This was a celebration time. Bartz finally obtained his crystal and they were all talking about what would they supposedly do if they ever had material to make a party. Zidane seemed so excited with the idea, with his unruly tail flipping to one side-another happily. Even when she never knew how to appreciate these so-called parties, they both talked out so excitedly that she started to think it'd be fun to try.

Unfortunately they couldn't really make any kind of parties in this world. They could only talk about what they'd do, hypothetically.

"... Should it be odd to confuse Cloud's hair with the tail of a chocobo?" Bartz sniggered, mimicking the sort of spiky hair Cloud had. While Zidane giggled restlessly, Terra tilted her head with curiosity, not able to follow such joke.

"Chocobo?"

Bartz apologized. "Ah, sorry, does your world have chocobos?"

"They're like... big birds, aren't they?" she asked.

Yet the monkey-tailed teen went on with laughter. "Imagine Cloud's face if he ever heard you, Bartz."

"He'd look pissed." he nodded smirking devilishly.

Terra decided for once to intervene. "I can imagine him frowning. He's a very serious person after all."

"Wouldn't it be funny if he could smile?" suggested the thief boy.

"Wouldn't it be creepy?" Bartz shuddered.

"Why? I mean... why should it be creepy? I think it'd be nice."

Both guys stared at the girl, blinking bemused by her comment. On that, Bartz politely smiled to her, to keep her out of the awkwardness.

"Nice, yeah. But he seems to be the kind of guy who's never happy."

"I'm sure Cloud was once happy. Or maybe he can be. We don't know."

"We should try to tickle him so he can laugh." the mime suggested under a mischievous grin.

She rose one brow. "Tickle...?" They both looked so amused with the idea and she couldn't help but to smile with them. Zidane was beaming like a crazy person.

"Yes! At least that should work!"

"I don't know if we can make him authentically make him laugh like this..." she murmured.

"And then we should try tickling Squall!"

"Bartz! That's the best idea I've heard in the whole day!"

"Now you want to make Squall laugh?" She didn't agree about it being a good idea. But she was extremely curious about a scenery like that.

"C'mon, Terra! Wouldn't you like to see that grumpy-face turn his frown upside down? It'll be fun!"

"Ah... I don't know... Maybe Squall is not the kind of person who enjoys to laugh..."

"And you're damn right, Terra." Squall muttered behind her head. His sudden apparition made the two friends leap in fright.

"S-squall! Y-you didn't just hear—"

"—I've heard it all. Don't you even say else." He responded with a grim frown. Nervously, the shortest teen tried to break through the uncomfortable silence settled by the swordsman's almost intimidating stare.

"And so... where you've been?"

At Zidane's question, Squall just slightly turned his head and barely murmured: "... Around." But then his piercing sky-blue eyes shifted of the girl standing seemingly unworried for his matters. "I actually want to talk with you."

Her eyes widened a bit. "What is it?"

With the obvious confidence he tried to achieve with a conversation to her about the matter Terra supposed her fellow warrior wished to speak, they both distanced from the two friends, who respectfully kept themselves away from their space. In all this way, Terra couldn't help but to feel her stomach tightening, as Squall was never the good omen of best topics for chat.

"It's about... your teacher. You must be careful." A dim fire flickered angry inside her head.

"But Squall, why? I thought Kuja didn't need to go through this again. I know you don't like him, but he's trustworthy, I know he is."

"... Then since you're so close to him, haven't you noticed? Haven't you seen that there's _something wrong_ with him?"

"_There are many things wrong with him_, but I don't see your point."

"Just... be careful."

"Please, explain me."

"Ever since we rescued him from Chaos' Shrine, I've sensed something strange around this guy. I don't know."

Terra should admit this was scary. It wasn't normal to see him so uneasy.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what do you mean."

"You're a mage, and you probably know this kind of stuff better than I... Next time, watch him from the distance, then you'll know of what I'm talking about."

"That's too vague! How am I supposed to know?"

"You have to trust me in this one."

"I can't trust in your words, Squall!" It was hard to make her angry. Just a few words did the trick, and they weren't strong at all. They were talking about Kuja. After she grew so protective, so caring, so attentive upon the man, it irritated her to hear those awful things to relate to him, even when she knew it wasn't wrong at all. "Please, just... leave."

He didn't flinch, didn't argue back, for he seemed to understand her leanings. Without saying else he turned away and walked.

"... Take care. And tell the same to Zidane."

* * *

><p>When the lonely warrior escaped from his allies' watch, he used the remaining instance to look for Kuja again and return to the same routine, and perhaps expect the worse to happen so he could be released from the anxiety of the misfortune prediction. Somehow, he admitted, he wanted something bad to happen, just to be assured his time wasn't wasted in vain, instead of it being an useless distress.<p>

Although, would it be any better if he ended up being right?

He stopped to wander when he found himself inside the Phantom Train replica, perhaps he liked this place better than others, not because he remembered from anywhere but because he recognized the sensation of being inside a train before, proof that he once lived in a place different than this. It had been for three long hours since he lost sight of Kuja, so it wouldn't hurt to rest a little in here, with no manikins around to cause bother.

He sat on one of the chairs, crossing his legs and then doing the same with his arms. He felt annoyed. Where did that damned mage went now?

With such clarity he heard a low tune resembling of mocking laughter behind him, almost as if it responded to his thoughts.

"You haven't found me yet, because our roles have finally reversed, lad." said Kuja, casually sitting on the chair behind him. The teenager got up and stood in front of the silver haired man whose smirk dared to tease him in silence. "Now, don't look at me like that. I know it, you have been watching me from the afar ever since I was freed from the ill condition."

Squall just stared coldly to the man. "... So what now?"

"You tell me. You've taken your mistrust issue way too far."

"I don't have any reason to trust in someone like you." he replied.

"Indeed. Yet you haven't reasons to obssess over someone like me either. Otherwise... is there anything interesting you'd like to tell me, shy boy?" That smirk. It was nauseating and nothing would please him more than ripping it out. Kuja was a tasteless joker.

"You're an annoying guy."

"And you're a apathic antisocial worm." Kuja bit back. With an authoritary look he rose from the chair and faced the boy. "Now you're going to tell me why have you stalked me, spied on me, and followed me around. You don't want me to rip the answers out of you, do you?"

"You aren't capable to." the young man growled. "If you do, you'll fail to _her_. You fear of failing to her."

But Kuja just arched his eyebrows in amusement. "_Fear_? What a cute word, young man. I usually love to use it against others, however, I'm mostly immune to such effect. And don't worry. I am certain that giving you a new scar won't make Terra upset... for long."

What he wanted to avoid was useless arguments, questions he didn't have to answer to this guy. "I'm not in the mood to fight you."

"How surprising to see a fierce child like you becoming so passive."

"... Out of my way." Squall walked by, but soon enough he heard the mage's footsteps following.

"You haven't yet shared with me the reason behing your stalkerish behavior. I won't let you leave until I hear it all."

"I'm just wasting my time with you. You're not worth the worries." he snarled, without looking back. But he felt a harsh grasp on his left shoulder, making him almost fall back.

"Excuse me?" Kuja's voice was even more aggressive. "What was that, you wreck?"

His fingers were clenching really hard on his shoulder, making it hurt even though he was wearing a leather jacket. Squall struggled swiftly and backhanded the arm of the obnoxious man, forcefully. "Let go." Squall's warning didn't make him stop.

"No. You made me angry enough to chat with your insolent façade, and I'm not going to be left without your reasons—" The androgyne tried to grab the teen's jacket but in a defensive reflex, Squall fiercely repelled the other's hand plus making his gloved fist land with violence on Kuja's face, directly to his nose. It was enough force to make him step back, cowering a little while covering where he was punched. The mage did not even grunt on the pain. "... You have no idea how badly I wanted you to do that. Now I can justify myself..."

This was precisely what he wanted to avoid, yet his own impulses made him screw-up the moment. He waited.

"Two can play the same game!"

Then there was a kick. A very strong unexpected kick.

Quickly his body responded to the hurt falling on his knees because of the stinging agony running through his whole body. He allowed a subtle moan to come out while he grabbed his innermost thighs in a most embarrassing manner.

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?" he heard, many steps all at once. Of course, they HAD to appear in the peaking horror of this humiliation. Zidane, Bartz and Terra approached, specially Bartz who was puzzled to see his friend on the floor in pain.

"Well, Zidane, if you want a link, I'll begin telling you that he was the starter." Kuja pointed out, uncaring.

"Were you both fighting?" Terra asked, from where he could tell she was analyzing the bruise on the pretty guy's face. "Squall, was that you?"

Squall merely replied to her: "... He kicked me."

"Yeah. Maybe you're lucky Kuja didn't use the sharp part of his boots... right?" Bartz mentioned, trying to put the youth back to his feet.

"I'm not that cruel. And that's what you gain from stalking me." said Kuja, again with such a callous tone.

He was about to begin another fight, but they were refrained by their friends. Both of the edgy warriors limited themselves to exchange the most creative collection of insults for some minutes.

However, the angry teen stopped arguing with the mage, once again he grew uncomfortable seeing the strange shadow over him, clearer than ever, floating along the silver strings of hair like black smoke.

The young man looked up to the girl in striped skirt, he rustled. "Terra... still you haven't noticed?"

"What?" she tilted her head to one side.

Zidane meddled. "Okay, seriously, Squall... Were you stalking Kuja? That's creepy."

"Yes, why were you?" Terra asked with eyes bright in interest.

"... I don't know why. There's always a dark shadow behind this guy. That shadow... _something's wrong with it_."

Zidane got interested, just constantly turning his gaze between Squall and Kuja. "... A shadow? What does it have to—?" At the edge of Zidane's words, a lot of things happened at the same time. Squall looked straight at the androgyne's face and they went blank and his legs lost support making him drop cold on the train's floor. Terra and Zidane hurried simultaneously to get a hold of the fragile man. "Kuja!"

"Kuja, what's wrong? Snap out of it!" she cried, called him several times and shook him by his shoulders. "Wake-up, Kuja! Wake-up!"

"Kuja?" Zidane leaned against his brother's face, examining whatever was wrong with him. Even Squall had to admit he felt alarmed of this sudden event. "... He's fallen asleep." said the monkey-boy. But his expression was far from unconcerned.

"No way. Did he just faint?" Bartz intervened, aiding Squall to walk to them.

"His nose was bleeding, but Squall didn't hit him so hard, did he?" asked the girl while holding dear Kuja's head against her tummy.

The black leathered teen grunted out of annoyance. "Of course I hit him hard. But... didn't you see? He fainted, out of nowhere."

"That's just odd, alright? He's a pretty resistant guy. One nasty punch shouldn't be enough to knock him out." said Zidane in a half-smirk.

"Yes... maybe he's just exhausted." she sounded so numb that it was even disturbing. She was hiding something, right. Zidanee nodded in agreement.

"Makes sense. After going through all of that crap, maybe he hasn't fully recovered, maybe he was pushing himself too hard."

"Or maybe,_ stop ignoring the heck outta m_e and believe me that it's got to do with the dark shadow I was talking about."

"Squall, chill-out. We'll figure this out later, okay?"

"Yeah, besides, nobody among us has seen this so-called shadow on Kuja."

This was so it. Now he was the one who wasn't being trusted. They actually were so protective towards Kuja that they saw his reasons as harmful to him. He never thought it'd feel so gut-wrenching. They didn't just think of him as untrustworthy, but also as mad!

Zidane shared a fair amount of physical strength, yet Terra aided him to carry the taller man, and Squall saw it, the grave grief taking over her eyes.

"I just hope he's fine..." she murmured, taking a portion of his long silver locks between her fingers. He took a note of this small detail discretly. It wasn't a very common show of afection between friends.

Somehow he was touched a little. Normally he'd feel disgust towards it, but he understood what was it like. As if he ever did the same for someone else. He knew what was it like to feel so strongly towards someone, to want to protect that person even if it was wrong.

Had he ever wanted to protect someone who'd be also considered as an enemy? Terra had to. He understood.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It's been a long whie since I last updated, and I'm sorry, but my progress is strongly linked to my current schedule on college. From now and on, I'll update about once a month, depending on how much spare tiem I have. Plus I've been working on some story of my own, so... Well, don't let your spirits down. I haven't planned to make this fanfic longer than 30 chapters, so I should finish it, eventually.**

**Thanks for your understanding and your time.**

**Btw, Squinoa hint.**


	20. Loved

_**XX. Cheesiest chapter ever.**_

**okay, slash that. here's the real name of the chapter:**

* * *

><p><strong>XX. Loved.<strong>

When Terra checked him up she said that he had a very strong fever, and it was better to let him lie down for some time, in the same building they used as his personal infirmary. Zidane wasn't much of a medic guy but when he touched with his bare hand his fellow genome's forehead it was burning. Wasn't this more like a killer fever?

He talked to the magic girl for a while, about Squall's new antics and about Firion's quest. They figured minutes later, through Bartz, that the weapon's master finally obtained his crystal, and Tidus did as well.

It sort of made Zidane feel uneasy about himself. Only him and the Warrior of Light were the ones who hadn't obtained their crystal yet, and the thief was sure that Warrior made some progress while he was goofying around.

As the sweet girl found out of his silent deception, she patted his shoulder lightly and offered a gentle smile.

"Don't feel bad for that. It'll come when it has to come."

'_Okay, and when will it come?_' he shrugged and grinned back to her. He remained at the white mage's bedside while observing such pacific sleep going under a terrible heat.

Zidane sat on a small mountain of random clothes gathered there, done by Terra, apparently during her time nursing the poor guy. In a strangely polite way he asked her to leave him alone for a while.

Hesitating for a second, she nodded and left quietly.

The young man crouched sitting, looking closely to his strange sibling, anticipating a bitter scowl for the moment he'd wake-up again. Kuja slept soundly for hours.

It drained him to remain like this, unmoving, so his yellow hairy tail started to flip up and down, tapping the floor hoping to make some rhythmic noise to keep him from going insane of the lack of activity. He could almost hear the subtle breath escaping down Kuja's nostrils. It was out of his understanding how did Terra managed to withstand this silence and solitude.

Swiftly, the agile boy crawled next to the sleeping mage and looked closer. Again, he felt easily disturbed by the doppelganger look Kuja held of him. Scary as ever.

Zidane sighed, blowing air righto the silver curls on his sibling's forehead, growing tired of quiet observation time, so he just pulled his hand out to check Kuja's heat again, unknowing of any improvement.

By the moment his fingertips touched the other man's face, his eyes suddenly opened out of swift dread, aggressively staring. It made the young man make a shriek noise and jump back chilled to the bone. As he jumped he almost tripped back on his tail, but quickly regained control before looking even more stupid than he already did.

Waited for a second, expecting some bothersome sarcasm from the mage on bed, but got nothing at all, instead there was only a large silence running between the brother souls.

Kuja was still lying there, motionless staring at the young man with wide eyes. It was kinda creepy actually. Those eyes were staring in a way that it was hard to tell if they were filled with anger, hatred, sadness, amusement, surprise… it riddled the youth. He tried to approach gently, asking if everything was okay.

Nothing. The silver-haired man remained quiet and undisturbed. There was just the stare.

This was getting uncomfortable, as he walked right to the room just a little and felt how the gaze followed. Was there something wrong again with him? Zidane bit his lower lip and came close to bedside, concealing his nervousness.

He stretched his hand to give him a familiar touch in spite the rejection he knew he'd receive. "Hey Kuja, I—"

The backhanding. It was to be expected but Zidane at least succeeded to make him know his desire for human contact,—wait, nobody of them two was human!— but the ill genome wasn't willing to acknowledge such compassion.

There was a monotone murmur barely shaped accordingly to the moves of his thin purple lips. "I'm not a bit happy with this, Zidane."

It was sort of awkward to listen to him pronounce that word._ Happy_. Even when the doll-looking man was capable of showing a large variety of smiles, Zidane knew that happiness wasn't so easily achieved. That beautiful husk hadn't room for more than the bitterness and anger that pieced his twisted persona.

He walked again, surrounding the small space Kuja curled himself into. Without permission, he sat next to the beautiful man and leaned over him very carefully. It was a violation of personal space, he was aware, and this would reassure Kuja's previous statement, but he just shrinked and cowered between his shoulders.

"Where's Terra?" his voice suffered another transformation, making the actor sound more child-like, as if he was quering for his mother. It weirded Zidane out quite much, but said nothing about it, just telling him that he asked Terra to leave him alone for a while.

"I need her. I need her here."

"Now, Kuja, you don't have to depend that much of your girlfriend, okay?" He said, giving him back some space, to sit straight again on the rubbish bed.

"She's not my lover. She actually manages to fill the void in me. It's not some mundane romantic non-sense. It is almost as… as if she was my moth— "

"—Okay, that's enough! I get it, you don't have to freak me out even more than necessary!" It would have been too much to hear him say something he'd rather not to know. "Terra gives you a lot of love, but you know, there are many different kinds of love! She makes you happy and that's all what matters. Don't turn her into both your mom and your inamorata. I mean, we know she's got a familiar name, but... that's no excuse! Geez! You're so creepy!"

"Huh, so I succeeded to make you mad. Finally."

"Did you do that on purpose?"

"Not exactly. I may have said that to scare you away, but also because I was pulling the truth out of my chest." He grinned darkly, expanding the gray shadows of his graceful features. "You must be so disgusted of my antics, I begin to guess."

"You're creepy, but you don't disgust me. I just worry about you." Kuja's faint grin dissolved at the entrance of those comforting words, because his brother showed compassion to his degenerated side.

He observed in silence the sleepy face of his doppelgänger. It held an eerie look, almost dead-like, as if the mage was just a living-dead who could blink and breath. It was incredibly sad to look, feeling that he'd fall apart at any second. His perpetual melancholy.

Wordlessly they lied down next to each other, just close enough to feel a very dim warmth pass between their short distance. Kuja was tired but the little brother so full of energy in a way they we felt that all of that light was just being absorbed by the weakened mage; Zidane was okay with this. It was the only time he'd ever be allowed to be so intimately close to his fellow genome, he predicted.

The dark azure eyes of Kuja fluttered tired, gazing with dull succor his dearest brother's sky bright blues, exchanging muddled thoughts of defiance and empathy. Zidane smirked and dared upon the call on his roguish nature. Almost lovingly, he placed a kiss on his brother's forehead, expecting even the smallest response from him.

But there was nothing, expect deathlike silence. The skinny man was unable to beam, Zidane felt.

This fruitless effort depressed him like nothing have done for the longest while. He'd remember to ask Terra about it as well. But something told him that not even her would have achieved as much.

He finally decided to break the thick silence. "Kuja, is there any possible way for you to be truly happy?"

Kuja shifted back up, sitting on the opposite side from where the thief lied down. "… Is happiness any similar to gratitude?"

It was even more strange to listen this question. Kuja was indeed some child inside an adult's body; this was either really cute or heavily disturbing. But even he doubted if any adult could even properly answer that one question in a satisfactory way. Happiness was complex.

"Dunno. Maybe. Not much." He shrugged.

"I guess you're right. Isn't happiness supposed to be physically pleasant?"

"No… I think it's the other way around. Being happy is a state of mind or something of the sort…"

"If your mind is happy then your body should be as well."

"Well, NOT necessarily." Zidane was sure it didn't really work that way, otherwise, things would be much easier in life. "I can either be hurt or sick, but in my mind something different might be happening, you know? Man, it's hard to explain."

"Maybe I don't need to be happy at all."

It made him frown slightly and cross his arms. "I know it doesn't concern me, but why can't you give yourself one chance to taste joy for a change?"

"Because this soul wasn't built to tolerate complex sentiments. Besides, I don't deserve to be happy."

Cheap excuse. He tried to budge closer again, reaching out to touch the elder's shoulder. "Anyone, at least once, deserves to experience happiness. Even if it took you a life-time to begin doing things right."

"Your kindness never ceases to amaze me." He rejected coldly. "And that's a problem."

Then there was this familiar struggle between, when he wanted to give to his brother some understanding, it was all dismissed. And it was so frustrating to unbearable levels. It wasn't as if Terra didn't do the same, but she was acceptable to certain point. They were sort of hanging out and Kuja's acceptance of her affection was excusable! And of course, Kuja still felt guilty for being a great imbecile in the past, before being dragged into this dead world. Yet… all of his efforts to comfort him were utterly useless!

It was easy to embrace Terra, because she was a gentle girl with a golden heart, and she didn't have to meet Kuja back when he was badly messed up. He found it easy to open his heart to a person who didn't have to witness his crimes. Probably Kuja thought it'd be easier to accept benevolence from a stranger rather than obtaining forgiveness from someone he tried to kill so many times in the past.

Kuja was only a coward man, too ashamed to admit love from someone who had forgiven him.

'_I have tried this far!_'

"Look, I don't care if you get mad at me every time I try to be nice to you, it ain't gonna stop me, because that's just the way I want to act towards you."

Almost forcefully took his brother's shoulder to make him look back. He was tired of his elusive conversations.

"I don't want it." Kuja hissed, violently pulling away, fighting to jump from bed, but his weakened legs only manage to make him kneel on the side of bed. His arms were shaking. "You have no idea of what are you doing…"

"What's wrong? What the hell am I doing? Please let me understand what's going through your head!" his words were harsh, but it took him a great deal of self-control to don't yell at him, giving away to frustration. "I just want to understand you!"

He was about to take his brother to his arms to aid him back to bed, but a notoriously stronger refusal kicked Zidane's shin making him fall on his knee forcefully. Taking advantage to his momentary fault, in a most childish manner Kuja limped to the other side of the room and fell clumsily against the wall. Zidane had to complain to this, but stilled there observing the silver one's warning gaze.

He was exhausted and dreaded, and perhaps his judgment yet stifled because of his feverous state. It was time to take pity out, but it would probably make things just worse. Kuja still gasped frantically, holding his pale hand against his right eye. Migraine could be.

His body seemed to relax after a few seconds. After being tranquilly observed by the teen brother, he began to mutter:

"You have no idea how much it hurts me when you do that, Zidane… You don't know…" the brilliant gray feathered locks of his forehead fell loose to his face's left side, partially covering the significance of his new demeanor. But for Zidane's ears it was clear; he could hear the cold melodious voice breaking little by little. "You haven't yet realized the burden you place on my shoulders by having you at my side, have you? You could have returned to your loved ones, but still you prefer to remain at my side when there's so much I've already taken away from you! Why must you torture me like this?"

He felt his heart dropping to his bottom, filling him with an awful feeling of sickness and guilt. He lowered his gaze and twisted his frown unseen.

"I'm sorry. But what else could I do? Among everyone I knew, I figured it was you who needed more help than anyone."

"Me? Choosing me instead of your well-acquainted friends is the equivalent of betrayal, Zidane."

"Forgive me for that. Maybe I've been wrong all along and there was someone else out there who'd need it more than you… but hey, even I can make mistakes. If you felt that way all the time, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. The thing is that… I never took into consideration your feelings. I'm so sorry, Kuja. I was tormenting you all this time because I was acting like a selfish hero wannabe."

He was so open that he was being torn apart, but it was all true and right now he was so desperate to bring some light to Kuja that the words were pouring out almost by themselves. This was the first time he ever admitted his heroic acts to be somewhat selfish. And this was true. He needed to feel right about things, so the natural follow for such sentiment of righteousness was saving your fellow no matter what.

Kuja was a symbol of redemption for him, a consolation award for all those lives he couldn't save in the past. If he couldn't save those who were already dead, then… at least he wished to save this tragic villain filled of regrets. Zidane felt this was the least he could do now. But along this courageous forgiveness was also a corrosive poison of pity and solace that, unknowingly, begun a merciless torment over that damaged soul.

The slender hand that covered his eye lowered below his neck, accompanied to his sudden struggle to breathe. "... It's so hard to breathe." With this small sign, the young man didn't hesitate to dash towards him, but with the other hand Kuja warned him to don't come closer. Eventually he put his respiratory complications under control. Then his icy-colored stare trusted back to the blonde's, even slightly shadowed by the silver tresses of hair. "Do you remember how were we born? Do you know how was I born?"

"… No, sorry."

The mage's mouth twisted in a half-smile, bitter as the story that would succeed. "We were both born differently, did you know? I was just a fortunate mistake, an unstable prototype of perfection. I had to be a lab subject long before you were even planned. Everything that our Maker made me go through was for the sake of your conception. I was meant to be replaced by you one day."

"... Garland… " He was sure that it was just a coincidence that his Maker shared the same name of one of Chaos' servants, so he tried to don't think about it much. On the other hand, Kuja's intentions beyond his narrative were trying to commensurate the weight he previously made him carry on painfully with his conscience. And damn, it was working fine. "I see what are you doing here, Kuja. But, now that we both remember, then you must understand why I feel so responsible for you. I was born from your pain, so that gives me fair reasons to care… even when you're a crazy son of a submariner."

"Watch that language…" he murmured disdainfully staring at his fellow youth. "Anyways, do you think that staying by me is a worthy reward for the pain you've caused me? Why should it be good enough?"

It was a hard question._ How could he be good enough?_ They both held different perspectives about what was valuable and what not. Anyways, the thief needed to try.

"Because I'm being real about these feelings." Zidane smirked nervously.

"Huh, then you're saying that I'm more than just your trophy of chivalry. But you can't afford the price of your kindheartedness."

"That's something I'll have to deal with. I just can't be with my arms crossed while you must go through hell. I can't."

"… Feel free to do whatever you please, but nothing will ever change the conclusion of this tragedy."

"I know I'm still a _wee bit_ of stupid, and I think you may agree, but I've never been so sure of what I wanted."

"And… what is it what you want?"

The once villain of his fairytale needed to reject this manifestation of kindness, because he was undeserving of such. It felt wrong. Sympathy was hurtful, and happiness unwelcome. With moral conscience wide-awake, felicity was the most incongruous reward for his countless crimes. It felt wrong, so wrong.

Zidane knew, but everyone deserved a small chance. He and Terra believed it that way, so this is how they dragged Kuja out of the darkness.

And first off, they needed to understand what would Kuja want, or what he used to want. Maybe Terra already knew the answer, but Zidane needed to understand this on his own. That secret desire taken away from the damned. It was something small and precious that only others could fill for Kuja, because he could no longer grant it for himself. This joy was meant to be received.

The blonde monkey-tailed approached calmly and crouched close to the mage, this time unable to dodge his company. The boy outstretched his hand and gently brushed the lingering locks from Kuja's face, discovering the gloom moist that soaked his cheeks. Almost slightly, the frail-looking man responded to that tender stroke to his temple.

This visage touched him, becoming the unbreakable evidence that all of that agony was true. This was the reason Zidane wanted to save him. This made his fight worth winning.

"I want you to be happy." Said Zidane, pulling out his best smile for him to watch.

There was surprise gleaming in his dark blue eyes when Zidane said that. The pale face lifted little by little in a way he seemed to recover color.

_Was he being filled with hope at last?_

There was a shimmer filling the air between them, gathering particles of glowing diamond dust on his chest, just above his heart. Its light took solid shape, gleaming so brightly it could have made them both go blind.

Its light felt so warm on his hands, the crystal acknowledged its owner right away. All good feelings were filling the young man, still in awe because of the beautiful soundless music it chanted. A bigger relaxing smile made its way to the youngster's colored face.

"… Well, this might look corny… But, what the hell, I've got it!" he peeped, allowing the precious jewel take part of him. Kuja just stared calm, like those gray passive seas. There wasn't deception under his wan veil, but he really didn't seem glad at all.

"You must feel so special right now, Zidane." He sighed.

"Thanks to you." The youth had to laugh; he was so overwhelmed by delight that he almost ignored his brother's bitter display. "Somehow, I know that it was because of you that I obtained this crystal. You're such a lucky charm."

"… Don't flatter me yet. This war is not over until the followers of Chaos are destroyed."

"Hey, you shouldn't stand on your own yet—!"

"I'm fine." Kuja shooed his helping hand, taking some effort to put himself back up. He was still tired but somewhere somehow he gathered enough energy to overcome his weakness. "We should head to Cosmos' presence before time runs out."

Then something between those lines caught him unguarded. What the hell did he mean by that?

"Time runs out? What is that about?"

"You were almost the last warrior to obtain the crystal Zidane, am I right? It shouldn't take her long to give you her last instructions to end this war."

"Right… So, things just got real now." It unnerved him to see Kuja so peacefully tense about the matter, because it whispered him inside that something bad was about to happen. However, they were both fair, and from now and on their bond would become their best aid. "Let's go together, okay?"

And there was this small instant in which he finally accepted to take his hand. Not to say it was the sweetest thing that ever happened to him, but his icy touch was somehow comforting.

"Sure. Together."

* * *

><p>At the solemn hour of their fate, he waited there first before anyone else, not even wandering to his one lady's side, for he was the only one who'd be fully aware of the end of this day's events. Today death was coming to retrieve the courageous goddess from her white throne. The icy sun of this dimension was ironically dazzling today and everyone inside the Harmony files seemed so blissfully unaware.<p>

He sighed low, while the pounding inside his skull returned, just briefly. These headaches became less frequent after he had that small sentimental moment with Zidane… they had to be some ulterior effects after being entrapped by Kefka's mind-control for so long. However, he rarely allowed these little pains to affect him.

Each little soul would come to respond Cosmos' late weak call, so he discerned beautiful Terra's presence approaching. He was sure to let her be, to spend as much time with her friends as she could, because in the future it was completely uncertain who'd survive for the final battle.

And then she came, forever gorgeous in that lovely fresh dress or flowers and stripes. Her presence trusted him into accidental delight. Yet it filled his lungs with a sour air, grief materializing like a bothersome nausea he could easily disguise.

"Kuja, how are you feeling?" asked the girl. Dear, that's how most of their conversations started lately.

He rose his gray eyebrow in wonder. "Not tired, my bird. On the other hand you seem paler than bone."

"I'm just a bit nervous, that's all. We'll finally learn what the purpose of our crystals is after all this time." She was talking loud, flushing uncontrollably because of the singular nature of her curious thoughts. "Kuja, about that thing… I wanted to ask you something."

He didn't show much of reaction, which didn't necessarily meant he felt nothing at all. "Of course. Ask me anything."

"Really? I thought you'd be telling me to wait for another moment. Well, I… I don't know how to ask this, and this is very weird…" She was playing with her own fingers, nervous by some matter and suddenly was unable to look at him straight. When she stopped jabbering little inanities he lifted her gaze to him with her purple precious orbs sparkling so innocently. "H-how did you feel when _we were together_? What did you feel?"

Well, wasn't that just the cutest thing ever? He'd even admit he blushed with her query.

"… Do you wish my honesty?" smiling he stroke the side of his temple, concealing the bothering sensation beneath his veins. He just wanted to enjoy hearing her sweet voice talking to him. "I don't know how to explain. I suppose… it was a most glorious feeling to be joined to you, at least briefly. Do you want to contribute me with something?"

"I don't know. I really don't know how did I feel or what was I supposed to feel… I guess I just knew that you were there with me, so close to me. For an instance I felt so content, and we shared something strange and unique."

Without invading her space he closed some significant distance to Terra. "Did I make you whole?" he purred, pride and relish made him take a rather sensual approach, which she didn't seem to mind at all.

"If you want to call it that…" Terra answered shaking her shoulders. "To tell the truth, I was terrified with the idea of being so intimate with another person. I can't explain it, but I felt unable to even think about bringing myself that far with someone else. I didn't want to know. It felt disgusting."

His blood froze. This was the talk he so feared to ever share with her. But silently permitted the girl to proceed, otherwise he'd be shown unfair for all they've built so far. Terra herself seemed a bit troubled to talk about it, but she was strong enough to pull that last thorn out.

"… You gave me so much confidence. You made me feel so good and safe, because I knew you were no different from me. All the time you act as if it is part of your personality, to be so seductive and powerful… but then, Kuja, I figured you were the same as me. It made me feel secure. Probably, I'm just making you a bit uncomfortable, and besides… I haven't been so nice either, just making you feel more hurt and confused because you want to support me. And it hurts me too to know how much you do. I didn't know it'd be such a great burden, to love someone like I love you. " _The three magical words_. Terra wasn't conscious of her own sentence until she repeated it again out of awe. "**I love you**."

"... Never knew you were capable of saying such cruel words… But you're right. We were somehow destined to meet each other just to discover that little missing wonder."

"True." It pained her too, for little she showed. "And then… what will happen after the war is over? We're going to return to our worlds, aren't we? We will separate."

"Don't be sad about it. We shall remain alive in each other's memories, if that serves you as comfort. It can't be helped." Maybe his voice was becoming cold, but that was something she had to be prepared to face. On the other side, was he prepared to never see her again?

She embraced her arms while looking down clearly depressed by the idea. "Yes… and we won't see our friends ever again… at least we will be able to remember the times we spent together. Somehow makes me want this conflict to don't end yet, or even better, to just be with everyone without worrying about any conflict at all. Suddenly I realized that I haven't appreciated all the precious things I shared with each one of them."

That was a kind thought, the innocent ideal of being able to kill time with the other warriors, no wars left to fight, no pending matters to attend, just the freedom to relax and laugh without worrying for the next drops of blood to be spilled.

"Hello, guys. So early waiting here?" gleamed the mime warrior walking loudly over the watery floor. Terra turned back and waved to him, but showed little affection to Squall, joining in silence to the reunion. Some heavy tension still brewed between their meeting stares.

"Shouldn't we say that you're coming late? Where's everyone else, Bartz?" asked Terra, not minding the slight strain.

"They're coming all the way here…" the young man answered, looking at both his sides confused. "Where's Cosmos?"

"Yeah, shouldn't she be here already?" Squall added in short intromission.

"Maybe she expects all of her warriors to reunite here first of all. That'd make sense, young man." Kuja answered, twisting his mouth's linear expression.

"Okay… so Terra, how're you doing? Onion said that you've been a little distracted back there at the gate."

"Was I? Oh, a manikin just caught me off guard. But it wasn't hard to beat it later; I wasn't hurt."

Kuja stroked earnestly his chin. "Great, and did you used the spells I told you to?"

"Well, I didn't need to, because it was only one…"

"My girl, you should have. It'd not be called a waste of energy if you proved it at least once, even with an inferior enemy."

"Right… I'll keep that on mind, Kuja."

"Woah, you take your teacher job seriously. Neat." Bartz thumbed up to the mage in approval. It was strangely satisfactory to hear such praise from someone else, so he softly smiled in response.

However, Squall kept his frowning skeptic look, mumbling: "Yeah,_ teacher_, of course…" They exchanged stares again, but not for longer until he backed away to keep distance, presumably until Cosmos wished to appear for her warriors.

"What was Squall's deal again? Anyways, I don't think he ever stopped stalking you, guys… Guys? What's the matter?"

The androgynous mage almost cringed to the way Terra froze. She couldn't be possibly reasoning if Squall ever… spied on them, could she? She jumped back to reality when Bartz called her attention.

"N-nothing! I was just thinking… What do you think Cosmos will say after we all gather right here?"

"Dunno. But I bet it implies some long speech about brave heroes and hope for the future… you know, the typical. I just want to know what the crystals are for." Shrugged the young man with a carefree smile.

"Yes… Since they don't precisely make us much stronger than normal, I just wonder what are they good for." As routine, she turned to him in quest for a more clever point of view. "Kuja, don't you have any idea?"

"I believe they must be more than just magical crystals. I think they are a small part of each of you that lies in slumber until you find a way to awaken it."

"Wait a minute… Are you saying that the crystals were within ourselves this whole time?"

"That's just a theory, not a legit fact. But if you think about it, it should make sense. Maybe it's not entirely something of your own, but a manifestation of Cosmos' power given to you as a chosen warrior. But again, that's just a theory."

"Well, now that you say it, I don't think it can be entirely impossible…" Bartz admitted to feel intrigued by his simple hypothesis, which Kuja didn't work so hard to build. But bringing him down, he noticed Terra fretted by his last statement.

"But, if it is just as you say, Kuja, if the crystals are at the same time one part of Cosmos… what will happen to her? Doesn't it damage her or weaken her in some way?"

"… Well yeah, that too makes me a bit worried."

No, it wasn't his job to make them know the truth, and if he tried to give them false deductions it wouldn't help either. His lips stirred to contain his newer words of fake wisdom.

"… Hey, what's up guys? Are we late?"

Thank goodness, Zidane. And everyone else, carrying their awarded crystals just in time. The moment was about to begin.

"No, everyone seems to be arriving just in time." He said as he let all of them pass to observe the empty throne of Cosmos.

Cloud walked beside him, exchanging a brief greeting with his glowing eyes. Cecil passed just at his left, wearing the dark armor again but with helmet off; they too traded a small regard for their success. Then, the gallant Warrior of Light carried a beautiful blue prism of crystal, proof of his finished quest.

Everyone did the same as the Warrior, showing their precious gems that shone for the summon of their beloved deity of Harmony and Virtue, the leader they bowed loyalty. In silence they awaited the slow light to illuminate them all with her presence once more. She was coming.

The splendor of her new dull shine made Kuja sick inside, unable to repress all guilt and pity for all of the warriors. He wanted it to end now. He couldn't bear this mask of ignorance anymore, he just wished to cry it out loud and let them be prepared for the worst of scenarios.

'It is all an endless dream. Yet still the fantasy must come to an end.'

Her words caressed him like silk, concurrently the shape of the white woman made appearance on her throne, with her pure cerulean eyes tiredly watching all of her brave soldiers. She did not even smile. Instead, the silver mage sensed her fatigued gaze on him, just him and nobody else.

"Cosmos, just as promised, all crystals…" she lifted her hand in command for the Warrior of Light to hold his words just for a little longer.

"… Kuja, may you come to me for a moment, please?" her voice that emanated deep sadness called for him, and provoked a mute gasp among all ten warriors and himself. Without questioning, Kuja walked and leaned close to the goddess, as she quietly requested. Her pale lips formed velvet words. "The time has come."

His heart skipped one beat, but he remained calm. He could literally feel her breath on his skin, signs that she was a living being and she was afraid, even if just a bit. Even gods were capable of human emotions, it seemed.

Her luminous hands reached to his, surprising him with unexpected electricity running from her towards him. It was warm and gentle, but alien to him in all senses. His eyes widened in shock upon realization of what was really happening.

"Everyone will be able to fight this, except you. You are no longer protected by the shadows… so I'm giving you this…" Cosmos whispered while her figure was losing its natural brightness. He tried to mutter, to deny her will, but it was already too late. With the last of her power, the deity pushed Kuja away with her mind, just enough to give her space to take a lousy step from her marble chair. Her voice suddenly adopted a dark tone, erasing all mellowness. "Forgive me. It is already all been settled. Your fate is to fall into true darkness."

The Warrior of Light shuddered, everyone else perplexed by the sudden change of heart from their holy deity. And if that wasn't enough to give a huge shock to all, the ivory landscape, Cosmos' safe refuge begun to change slowly, like an illusion breaking apart. The harmony gave a way to the ardent chaos, volcanic scenery with fallen sword of burning iron and skies covered by ashes from a raining fire that made soil smell like sulfur. No doubt it belonged to Chaos' territory.

Everyone was terrified. Cosmos, barely existent, she stood before the presence of her opposite. The God himself.

Kuja didn't move at all, even when Zidane called him to get out of the way.

Some of the warriors obeyed their instinct to go and protect Cosmos, but they were useless attempts. Chaos was a god still. One simple gesture of his was enough to paralyze everyone in place, making them witness helplessly. Kuja was the closest to Cosmos, but even if he wanted to, he'd be unable to protect her.

His winged shape was grotesque and demonic, having four arms for display, skin ruined and dark, eyes red as blood, sharp brown teeth outstanding from his mouth, several tiny horns breaking through his scalp and two majestic ones on his sides. However, inconsistent to his appearance, his voice was more eloquent than most of men.

"For all of your wandering, still you end up in purgatory…" he laughed bitterly. "What a shame, Cosmos." It barely sounded like a monster's voice. Cosmos, aside from her frail state, she conserved sanity and tranquility.

"This is not for you to decide. What they must know is…_ true darkness_."

Chaos, for a moment, seemed to hesitate. "Your wish shall be granted." But he lifted one hand, just fair amount of power to finish it in one second.

The goddess burned. She was entrapped by incandescent flare, until her whiteness turned into dust. Right in front of everyone's eyes.

Cosmos was gone, in less than few seconds. And then there was Chaos, staring down at him, summoning unspeakable feelings. Chaos knew who he was, and what he did. So, why didn't he just kill him on sight? Why?

Chaos retired… and Exdeath and Kefka came to place, laughing at the warrior's misery.

Kuja realized he wasn't paralyzed anymore, and the sight of the clown filled him with great rage. No doubt he'd blast him at the next chuckle he'd hear. But there wasn't time to entertain that plan. Back to where the warriors were, they started crying out, panicked over Tidus who seemingly just faded into white lights.

Then, before Kuja could register any thought, his little brother disappeared in the same fashion the first young man did. He ran and looked at everyone, while words of the Chaos' Warriors taunted them for despair. Zidane was gone. _'No, not this. This can't be!'_

But he centered then his attention to Terra. She was just as scared, seeing each one of her friends vanishing. Before he could reach for her, before she could pronounce his name, her body ceased to be. Not even the Onion Knight managed to get to her before it was too late. And instantly the boy disappeared as well.

Only he was left behind. Kuja felt despair. All of it. Even when Kefka bounced close, he taunted over Cosmos' fate and how Kuja did nothing to stop this from happening.

It became too much to bear. He didn't want to hear them anymore. But instead of bursting deadly magic upon them as he should, something tiny inside his chest pulled him back and ordered him to cast another spell.

A dash of white light tangled his body and transported him far, very far.

Everything was darkness, and he couldn't even tell if his eyes were closed or open, or if he was on his feet or floating. But somehow, he could sense them.

Everyone was here, but they were too scared and filled with hopelessness to even realize they were still alive. He could listen to their voices grieving, little by little devoured by the darkness. Yet, that little something inside his chest started to give colors to the dark place. He could recognize his own hands in front of him, and around him, all the warriors.

They couldn't pull themselves out of this, not alone.

Their crystals were still there, he could tell. The crystals maintained their physical form intact, but their shine was bleak, getting colder. The crystals needed guidance from a light, otherwise, they would die. They needed of someone who was familiar with this true darkness.

Blindly, Kuja stretched his hand to the empty space. "Terra… Zidane. All of you, wake-up."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yup, I had to check back dialogues from the actual game. And I don't know which I love the most KujaxTerra or Zidane&Kuja bromance. Can't pick a favorite. Thanks for your kind attention and patience. I've tried to submit this asp, so I hope everything is fine.**


	21. Identity Crisis

**XXI. Identity Crisis.**

It all happened too fast. The goddess, devoured by fire in front of their eyes, Chaos, impossibly powerful for all they feared and their time, tightly wrapped to their necks in the search for victory. If this was Cosmos' plan all along, it was certainly the most disappointing outcome.

But she gave the last of her power to Kuja; and Terra immediately knew that this was related to the way he guided them out of the shadows. Everyone somehow made it back to the Order's Sanctuary, or at least what it appeared to be. Nobody seemed to be hurt at all, at least not physically.

They fell unto silence, some of them quietly arguing how did Kuja managed to obtain Cosmos' last blessing, or if he was directly responsible for taking them back. Nobody was answering anybody, and Kuja seemed unable to give answers. He needed a break, for goodness sake!

Terra, still shaking from the awful experience, directed her attention to the Onion Knight, the child was loud about his frustration.

"Cosmos… she was so suddenly an easy target for Chaos… Why did it happen?" the boy groaned, observing the splendor of the green emerald crystal within his hands. Terra walked next to him, observing her red Magicite crystal as if there was a puzzle waiting to be solved, but several seconds passed away before anyone could come up with new words.

Bartz was the first to speak out. "… Maybe the crystals. These crystals are parts of her. Just as you said, Kuja…_ Right_?"

Everyone's eyes were suddenly upon the pale mage, who barely acknowledged their confusion and questioning to him. Even Terra was aware that he left so many links unshared to the recent twist of events.

He sighed slightly and lifted his face up, putting up a most excellent impartial expression. "Indeed, the crystals you're holding in your hands right now are in fact shards of Cosmos' powers. With each one you obtained, she tore her own being piece by piece. In the end, her heart was weak enough to let Chaos pierce through her ultimate defense. In the end she lost what was barely left of her, a cruel shimmering shade. A painfully poetical way of butchering her god-self for her loyal subjects."

The only female among the group shivered through those neutral words spoken by the man she discovered to love. She almost forgot how scary Kuja could be when he revealed one painful truth. Always with the most poisonous beautiful words.

All of the Harmony Warriors were uncomfortable, shocked by the revelation. Zidane couldn't bring himself to look at his brother or anyone now.

"I can't believe it… She gave us these crystals… and she knew what was coming for her?"

"Why? This… this is too much!" Onion cried. "We're basically the reason she died!"

The thespian wasn't finished whatsoever. "And that's not all of it. Since Cosmos disappeared, even though her soldiers have the promised crystals, you all have a limited life-span to win this war. You need to hurry and defeat Chaos and his warriors before time runs out."

Even lacking in emotion, a dim aggression grew within the throat of the Warrior of Light. "You knew it was going to happen, right? Answer."

"Would it have done any good if I told you about this earlier? I just accepted to play under Cosmos' rules, good warrior."

The youngest one rushed to speak out enraged. "How could you do this? You were aware she was going to die and did nothing to prevent it!"

Kuja twisted the corners of his mouth softly, while his gaze to anywhere was absent for the boy; the dark blue marbles were only looking at Terra, she realized. "Trust me I had the intention of letting you know before it was very late, but by request of your goddess, I kept my mouth shut about the matter."

Then she frowned sadly and tightened the grip on the warm red crystal on her hands.

"It's not fair… Why would she choose to do this?" she muttered.

"The crystals have another use, however." The mage's silken voice continued. "Once this war is won, the crystals will be able to bring you back to the worlds you belong to, otherwise, you'd be forever trapped inside this world, even if the war cycles stopped."

He brought them a silence filled with lightness, making everyone look up at him. Terra's grasp on the crystal only tightened more painfully. "... Is that true, Kuja?"

"Maybe; I'd like it to be. You should have done something really special to touch her heart and move her to grant you such a benevolent wish. But as far as we already know, Cosmos' true nature can be… duplicitous. The crystals did help you tear the darkness, but if they can take you back home, that's far too promising from a treacherous entity like she was."

His speech brought them a great discomfort and internal struggle, wherever he was testing the warriors' will or he was being painfully honest on the matter, nobody could tell. It succeeded to make them doubt. When Terra felt such void empowering their hush, she put the crystal back unto herself and stepped forward to say something.

They were meant to die this way? She couldn't afford to believe in that!

But well, she wasn't alone. The brave thief spoke up first.

"I don't know about you, guys… but even if we can't go back home, I'd much like to give it a shot against that Chaos before I disappear."

His brother seemed unaffected by that resolve. "Zidane…"

"I know, I know what you'll say. But right now, if this is how it ends then we've got nothing to lose. I will fight against Chaos with all my might; if that alone would give us a bit of hope, then that's just what I'm going to do."

"Don't you care if you die?"

Kuja's hollow voice made the little man cringe. "I… Of course I care! I'm not permitted to die until I fulfill my promises, okay?"

"Then you've got everything to lose."

What was he trying to do now, anyways? Of course, Kuja wasn't much of the man who'd bring encouraging words, but at this point, it didn't make sense that he wanted to bring everyone's spirits down. It didn't make sense, because he actually tried to give them hope just a few minutes ago.

The girl sighed and walked past the Onion Knight and faced Kuja, as so many times she did in the past. Her inner fire was so intense but tame as she gazed at his icy soul refuged within the blue orbs.

"We're gonna make it. We're going to win, whatever it takes, and I won't let anyone die. I'm going to make that promise, so I cannot die either." When she turned to see everyone of her comrades, she didn't realize how loud her voice sound as each sultry word escaped her throat. Her cheeks turned pink because of her own impression, but didn't make her stop there. "I know, alone I can't do everything… but making a promise binds me to life, I know it does. So, even if I've got the lowest of chances, even if there's too much pain to take… this part of me who made a promise will force me to keep this small body fighting. That's what I'll do, I'll push myself to the limit, but I won't let myself die."

They all were mute to her speech. This was the first time she talked so much in front of the entire group, and as such an inexpert she was, Terra felt a faint tingle of fear. Was it okay for her to be so straightforward at this moment?

"Terra's right." Zidane said, standing by for her, as the good friend who wouldn't fail. "Everyone here has strong reasons to keep on living. Even now when everything is against us, we should push ourselves to the limit too! I don't want to die with my promises undone."

"Me neither." Squall followed.

"I want to see my family and friends."

"I want to return to my loved ones too."

"I want to accomplish my dream."

"I don't want Cosmos' sacrifice to be in vain."

"Yes! Let's do it!"

"Let's do it for Cosmos!"

"Let's do it for ourselves!"

"For everyone!"

She felt so content. Her speech actually managed to cheer them up, not that they couldn't do it for themselves, but she gave one huge step for all of them. It was such an accomplishing sentiment and there were no words she could use to describe it.

Their plain unraveled into going straight to Chaos' Domain and fight their way through their enemies to defeat the God himself as soon as possible since their time was running out.

They marched with their hopes higher than they could reach.

Terra noticed her dear Kuja walking very discreetly behind Zidane and Bartz, but avoiding any way of interaction with them. His brother stopped trying to force a conversation with him, so Kuja was left to be.

She strolled back a little and joined to his less rapid pacing. When the silver-haired mage noticed her approach, he looked at her and tilted his head almost lovingly.

"What a magnificent motivation. Even if they're mere illusions, I'm proud of you, bird." He grinned with a very low whisper. Terra hardened her expression, but kept track of their mutual walk.

"Please… don't call them illusions. You may believe everything is lost, but we don't. Would you ever regain hope?"

"Hope? That's a very cruel word. I gave up hope the moment my heart changed."

"You're just contradicting yourself. How can you bring hope to everyone else when you deny it for you? Do you mean you're being intentionally cruel to yourself?"

"Being cruel is merely a part of my nature, Terra my love. It's something I can't help myself to change at all."

"… Maybe giving hope is a bit cruel, but having it for yourself… I don't think so. It gave me strength when I needed it the most."

He frowned, telling her how tired he was from hearing it. "Don't explain me how it works. I know it well. It takes you where you wish to be, just if you hope hard enough. But you can't see its retributions. When it breaks, it destroys you and everything surrounding you. It eventually takes the blindfold from you, and then kills you."

This bitterness was already well-known, the part that Terra still couldn't decipher from him. That small spot he still concealed from her.

"Kuja… What was it that took the hope away from you?"

"Would you want me to take the blindfold away from you as well?" he answered roughly. His eyes were daring and unkind, so she felt unwelcome to his words. The last thing she wanted was to rise another awful discussion with him, especially in front of everyone.

"… We should go and keep up with everyone. Chaos won't wait forever…"

She drove her steps to a faster rhythm, admittedly irked by his new question. She arrived to the side of her friends Cloud and Onion, uncaring of her interruption to whatever conversation they held. She felt so bothered by Kuja's query that she wished to talk him no more, at least for the next few hours.

She didn't want to think about it. The more she'd dig into it, the regret would grow deeper within, breeding more ineffective negativism to their newfound task.

* * *

><p>From their restless parade through the wastelands they finally encountered the mountains that led path to the nefarious black skies of His territory. Yet, it'd still take many more hours to trespass to the side of Chaos parting from their current distance.<p>

They couldn't deny they felt running out of breath. Those who were younger showed the most evident symptoms of tiredness.

"We've been walking for hours, and there's no teleporting stone anywhere nearby. Shouldn't we rest just for a little while?" gasped Bartz, stopping behind Zidane while resting his hands on his slim knees.

The Warrior of Light, normally void of most of emotions, he almost answered with a growl to the young man. "This is a crucial time we're going through! How can you think about resting now?"

Zidane had to intervene, even exhausted. "Warrior, chill-out. We're all tired, angry and stressed, okay? Let's relax, at least for five short minutes!"

Some, like Onion Knight and Tidus really seemed to need the approval of that petition. Others didn't seem as tired, but perhaps they were holding too strong to really show it.

The Lunarian agreed with the idea. "If we continue like this, once we arrive to Chaos' territory we'll be too drained to fight back the most insignificant enemies."

"He's right. We can refresh our thoughts and make up some tactics." added Firion while whipping off the sweat from his forehead. "Please consider it, Warrior."

"… Very well. Who's on favor to take a rest?" He didn't even finish his question and everyone lifted their hand to vote, except for Kuja, hiding behind the tall figure of Cecil. "Just for one hour, no more." sentenced the nameless warrior.

Terra let out a long audible sigh of relief and found the first spot to sit and rest. Her feet hurt so bad she thought they would start to bleed, because she decided to save her magic until the right moment instead of wasting it on float spells to avoid walking. Besides, she knew it'd unnerve her comrades if she spent the whole time floating. Even Kuja seemed to respect that.

The girl shared a seat against a huge rock with the Onion Knight and closed her eyes for a couple of minutes. She wished she could oblige herself to sleep now, but it seemed impossible now. Secretly, her soul wished to capture again those lost dreams about Kuja and perhaps find something to answer her questions right there.

'_… No, maybe I'm giving myself false hopes._' The capricious nature of Kuja retained her from fully understanding him, from finding that last thorn that could possibly let her fix the broken soul he was. '_Maybe… he's right. He's been always beyond repair. I can't keep on pretending to be his savior, because he doesn't need one. At least not one like me._'

When she opened again her heavy eyelids she saw Kuja parting away from Zidane, probably after exchanging a few words. Those siblings seemed to be getting along better time after time. Instinctively, Terra followed the way he went, moving to where many rock formations laid to their rest spot.

Kuja chose to sit between the biggest rocks, so nobody would see him and bother him… Of course, Terra didn't care much. She needed to talk to him after what he made her think through.

Probably he noticed it by now, but she still pretended that she was watching him hidden by the rock's height, laying on her chest with her arms crossed. He sighed without looking up at her, and with an unnatural movement he sat down clenching on his temple and breathing heavily. He was never so open about his pains, but since he was hidden from everyone else he didn't mind Terra being the only one to witness his drag.

"Kuja, is it another headache?" she asked softly, her small voice was loud enough for him to hear.

"I'm fine." Kuja grunted, still looking down. "Besides, we do need a rest. Just… let me be."

He seemed so tired now that he wasn't being observed by his little audience. But even when he never stopped being an actor, he allowed her to see beneath the stage. It was the clear sign of his trust placed on her.

She slowly crawled down her way and gently landed behind him. This closeness was perfect for her, because she could sniff the sweet scent of his silken hair. But she didn't let herself get carried away; there was something she needed to discuss with him.

"Kuja… Why would you make me hesitate?" she murmured to his back, blowing tender air behind his head. The beautiful mage moved his head slightly and chuckled in the most subtle way.

"It is healthy to doubt, little pet. If we doubt, it means that we can think. You _think_, don't you? You have a will of your own, don't you?"

Twisting her mouth in small disdain, she simply proceeded. "What do you gain by making everyone doubt of Cosmos?"

"I just desire you to take a look to the big picture. Every coin has its two sides."

"I know… but it doesn't feel right. Please, stop. Don't destroy this faith now. We NEED it." Her response was unusually harsh on him. "And she gave you something before she died, didn't she?"

Kuja turned his face to look at her, deep blue mysteries pierced against her own purple seas. He displayed with his right hand a faint kind of magical glow, orbiting around his fingers and wrist, but the ghostly shimmering disappeared too soon before she could tell if it had a shape at all. If she expected to see a jewel of some sort, it never materialized on Kuja's hand. It just seemed like unordinary magic, but not exceptional magic of any particular use. She didn't stop leaning to him with curiosity though, she didn't want to pull away from him yet.

"It's not a crystal what I had. Whatever it was she gave me it begun to fade as fast as I helped you out of the Darkness. I guess this was her plan for me all along, and she merely served me with the leftovers of her divinity. Her last resource, she wasted it on me, and my services as her pawn were short-lived. I begin to think… maybe I wasn't really necessary for you to escape the Darkness." His smirk was so terribly depressing, triggering Terra's deepest sorrows. Also, her feeble anger. "You and your comrades are capable enough to save yourselves, without any aid I could provide."

The hand grasped tightly around his arm as she whispered words of despair rising. "Stop. Just stop. I already told you to don't talk like that again." His sheepish smile never faded, as if he mocked her endless anxiety.

"Exactly how else am I supposed to take this then?" he asked.

"You saved everyone more than once. Shouldn't that prove you something at all?" the voice that interrupted their intimacy was noone but Squall's. When did he fall back again to the bad habits? He was just walking near them with a cold stare directed towards the mage. Kuja scowled regretfully to the brunet youth.

"Please, I'm not in the mood for your greasy teenage face,_ thank you and good-bye_." Kuja didn't even bother to sound fake through his irritation.

"Squall, weren't you resting over there?" asked Terra, more discrete about the feeling she shared with her fellow spellcaster.

The young man simply excused himself shrugging. "I was walking by and I over-heard you, okay?"

Unwelcome, Squall left them alone as soon as he appeared. Terra knew it was a bad idea to allow Kuja and Squall interact, since they were always carrying such tension on their shoulders after so many aggressive encounters. But particularly this time, when Kuja would usually take verbal revenge to his enemy, he chilled down pretty fast.

"He's finally leaving some of that arrogance behind. I'm glad." He said, slightly leaning his head against Terra's chest, but she respectfully rejected his misguided affection.

Nervously she replied: "I think he's still seeing things. Now that I think about it, he hasn't complained about it for a long time…"

"Maybe he's not as delusional as everyone thinks he is..." he murmured, switching his body in a way his whole body was facing her. Maybe his position was too suggestive due their mutual closeness, but she immediately directed all of her attention to his face instead. While she was sitting on an upper level than him and he was virtually kneeling to the height of her chest, he had to keep his face up to properly direct himself to her. "Terra, if I tell you something, a _secret_… would you promise to don't panic?"

She never liked it when he had new secrets; they always meant something bigger to grieve for. "If you tell me to don't panic, it's likely you'll reveal to me something that will provoke me to do so… But, it's alright if you want to wait. If you think it's better that I don't know, I'll trust in your decision."

To her silent approval, he laid his head on her soft thighs, making her tickle because of the scattered feathers of his long hair, so she couldn't help to adoringly stroke his long silver locks.

Finally he murmured against her skin: "Yes, it's probably for the best. To burden you now will harm your mission's success further. I apologize for suggesting it."

Even though it was a nice sensation of vicinity and warmth, Terra felt that there was something wrong. This submission… this stillness… it wasn't like him. After their… _little moment_ of supreme intimacy, his personality begun to tumble down little by little.

"… Ever since that moment, your voice has grown weaker. There's so much of you that has changed, Kuja."

"Doesn't that make you glad?"

"I… don't know. I did want you to change, but I'm not sure if this is what I wanted." At the end of this sentence, he suddenly lifted his head from her lap and sent a discouraged gaze to her.

"What you _wanted_…? I thought that you yearned for this. I thought I was fulfilling your fantasy of fixing an eternally ruined soul. Wasn't this the kind of change you had in mind?" he questioned, his voice increasingly cracking down. It pained her to see him breaking like that.

"I did want this to happen—" she admitted, shrinked to her conscience filled with guilt. "but it makes me feel so wrong when you change yourself _just for me_. All I ever wanted was to save you."

He did not even frown, but he stepped back, distancing himself from the warrior girl. "_Save me_? Save me from what, exactly?"

"I don't know... From insanity… and death."

"My dear girl." He laughed theatrically, almost hysterically, but she could see his hands shivering violently on his chest. "Doesn't matter what I appear to be, for all the actions that precede me and a lifetime of striking evil deeds I'm mostly certain that it'd not be wrong to assort me as an Angel of Death and a madman. Actions and deeds are what define us!"

"No." She sniffed, feeling her eyes watering down. "You're just Kuja."

"I'm not even _that_… not anymore…" he said, maintaining a profoundly disturbed was breaking her heart. She was losing him.

Her mouth was shaking, she didn't know what else to say, but still gave it a try. "I still want to know the best person you are, without the labels or the burdens. I want to meet you, Kuja. I know I'm almost there."

The tension on his shoulders lessened and he allowed her to advance to him once again. His arms just fell limp to his sides, like a ragdoll.

"Perhaps… but what if you're just molding me to the man you want me to be? The truth can't be always so complicated to see, because we can refuse to accept what simply is in front of us… If I'm not your Angel, if I'm not the Grim Reaper… _If I'm not Kuja_… Maybe I'm just… a deceitful shade composed by all of those images. _It wouldn't be fair if I become who I want to be_. The true question here is who am I without all the make-up. _To be_ isn't the same as _to want to be_… don't you agree, Terra…?" When he spoke her name, that was the only second he looked at her after all of his dissuading speech. She was at loss for words. Just after he finished, his eyes went blank all of sudden, his body halted to keep him upright.

"Oh no… Please, don't faint again…." Terra caught his weight with her body and wrapped him around her arms, taken fully by surprise.

He was completely out, so it took her a little too much of effort to put him down. Terra cried out for her friends' help and they all gathered pretty fast. Perhaps they all heard their confusing argument since they didn't keep such a long distance from each other.

Zidane knelt next to his brother's passed out self. "How does this keep on happening? Just what's wrong with him?"

She checked his forehead again. It was burning, it was so hot that it'd kill a human in a matter of few minutes… well, luckily Kuja wasn't a weak human; but still, this fever was becoming increasingly dangerous. Last time they didn't know what to do with it, and they were lucky enough he recovered from that.

"Terra, can you use an ice spell on him?" Zidane suggested quickly, and she immediately knew what to do; she'd just use a small part of her magic in hopes to cool down his fever.

But something felt weird, the air was heavy and her vision was blurry. She noticed his face turned to her and his eyes were opening, blue was gone, replaced by yellow gold irises. The most diabolical smile crossed his pale lips and made her freeze.

Squall made his first move. "Stay away from him!" Forcefully he pulled both Zidane's neck and Terra's cape from behind and tossed them away from Kuja. The rapidity of his reaction left her dumbfounded for some seconds, before she put herself back on her feet.

And then she saw it. The black nebula, it seemed to embrace Kuja from behind, now floating above the ground. There were several ice spikes still on the air around him, menacingly aiming to every single warrior. His eyes were distilling discord and sadism, and those weren't definitely his eyes.

The mysterious shadow that stalked the white mage ended up being true. "… You were right all along." She said, carefully joining his side. It wasn't required to be a genius to realize the extreme peril of Kuja's newfound power. Maybe he wasn't even Kuja anymore.

His eyes were affectionately directed to the grim teenager, grinning almost victoriously over an unknown won battle.

"Nobody ever trusted you, even when you were right, little Squall. You were never fit for a lonesome life, do you see?" His voice was just as proud and elegant as it ever was, but he wasn't talking for himself.

Zidane was reckless for the sake of his brother, still failing to find a grasp on what was happening. He tried to some closer, but was dreadfully assaulted by the heavy darts of crystal the mage invoked. Luckily, he was fast enough to pull out his daggers and shield himself from what would have been a deadly wound.

"Kuja, what the hell are you doing?" he yelled.

The silver-haired man just answered in his plenty state of wickedness: "He's no more."

"Keep out. He's possessed by Ultimecia." Said the fierce youth once he caught Zidane's attention.

The warriors went silent after hearing the name of the Time Witch. They had to believe in Squall's judgment since he was familiarized with their current enemy, besides, possession would make sense to Kuja's sudden flip-out on them.

"Squall… Sorry we didn't believe in you." Zidane told to his friend, remorse deeply marked on his face.

"The excuses shall come later, children." Unnerved by Kuja's voice, Terra observed how he majestically casted the dark spell of Graviga upon all of the warrior, and she quickly fled out of the way, yet it managed to touch half of the warriors. Only her, Cloud, Cecil, Squall and Warrior of Light were able to avoid it; everyone else was lying on the ground heavily hurt. "Now, Terra, girl of endless power… let yourself be taken by Chaos, and we promise we'll make everything far more simple for you and your friends."

"Leave him alone, Ultimecia!" she cried out, feeling completely discouraged to see Kuja instead of her.

"What do you want with Terra? Your fight is with me!" Squall demanded pointing to the possessed mage with his blade.

They just heard him chuckle and faced a most violent wrath of magic rain upon them. His — Her — attacks wore a more different pattern and were completely different of Kuja's combat style. He put an special focus when attacking those who were already wounded, so they remaining warrior rushed to their rescue.

Terra headed straight to protect Onion and Firion, summoning the mighty tornado spell to parry the ominous spikes of glass, and it came so strong that the winds turned the crystals into dust. But even before she could finish to deflect them all, a great symbol of evil magic appeared just below her and her friends.

The girl didn't waste time and pushed the smaller warrior as strong as she could while telling Firion to jump before it was too late. They both escaped from the magical circle before they could be torched by lethal magic.

No doubt, this was a signature spell from Ultimecia. How could she manage to do it with a person who probably never used that magic in his life? Kuja —Ultimecia— laughed when the girl stared at him with puzzled eyes.

"You shouldn't be surprised. The simple fact that we're both magic users has provided me with comfort over this body. Any magic I desire, it doesn't require much effort for this body even without the experience." He explained while adding an army of iron blades on the air, just like the real witch used to do. They were all fired straight at her.

She immediately invoked a shielding spell, one that she learned to perfect thanks to her now possessed mentor, making the knives and swords deflect to all places. The rest of her companions were probably well-prepared for the storm, so she didn't fear of any inconveniences. At the end of the deadly rain, she was about to counterattack with a different spell, but then remembered she'd hurt Kuja.

Zidane quickly joined the battlefield, refreshed by one potion, he tried by talking some sense back to his brother, but was only rewarded by continuous attacks and sadistic laughter.

Talking wouldn't help at all. She looked at Squall, panting a couple of yards away from her, his shoulder was recently wounded by the last assault. They exchanged gazes, as if they were sharing same thoughts. She silently decided and agreed to whatever plan they had on mind. Needless to say, they wanted to stop Ultimecia from controlling Kuja and they needed to do it without seriously harming his already frail body. Besides, a swift fighter like her could keep up with his torrent of powers plus she was the most powerful magic user inside her team.

She charged against him, not offensively, but pretended to put up a fight with Ultimecia just to buy them enough time. She moved and danced and dodged, keeping the other magic user too occupied to actually detect the missing teammates.

Eventually, Onion joined to the girl's tactics, and not that it was a bother, because it actually helped her in a significant way. The more distractions they could put, the better. But Terra was worried, because her little friend was being a bit more aggressive than necessary; he even managed to kick Kuja —Ultimecia— twice.

Anyways, she couldn't keep on being defensive the whole time, otherwise they'd grow predictable. What she feared was to hurt him, even if just a little.

Kuja grew more violent and radical with his —her— spells, but strangely enough, he didn't seem to even try to damage her, or act in any way that she wouldn't predict. Was Ultimecia the one who was really playing with them?

With one unsuspected move, Ultimecia resorted to an unsuspected chance, using the small moment of Onion's tiredness to kick him right in the middle of his stomach. Payback was cruel. Those boots were pointy and undoubtedly stabbed Terra's dear friend, which made her rage rise to her surface.

Terra leapt back with the boy carried with one arm —an incredible strength that only appeared whenever he was extremely angry— and summoned the magical water torrent, if there was any other spell even more harmless to be used, but the little knight was bleeding profusely and her anger drove her. Ultimecia played with her, to see how long would it take her to make her hurt Kuja.

The water bashed him and made him fall hard against the rocks, causing the girl to cringe. She feared of breaking his bones or make him bleed. But this wasn't time to succumb into fear. She laid the unconscious boy hidden within the rocks and dropped the content of a potion bottle unto his torso.

When she turned back to find Kuja, she saw the body lifting unnaturally from the rocks. He was badly battered and wet because of the Flood spell, but his face didn't seem tired at all.

"Stop. No matter what you do, how do you attack, I'm stronger. And I'm not going with you, Ultimecia." The girl explained, almost in despair. She didn't want to fight anymore. The mage just came up with a crooked smile.

"Yes, and you can entertain me here while your other friends go and track me down to put dear Kuja free from my control." As she thought, the sorcerer already guessed their plan. Squall, Cloud and Cecil were gone in search of her. "You're gravely underrating me, young lady."

Zidane came out of his hiding spot, because he used his only potion on himself and he had to take care of the other injured warriors along Warrior of Light. Onion Knight was brave and reckless enough to aid Terra to distract Ultimecia, but now there he was paying off the consequences of his acts.

The thief seemed ready to interfere in the old-style manner. He was up to stop the witch and save his brother no matter what. His help was accepted by Terra, and this time they were going to use more extreme measures to make their plan work, even if it meant to immobilize one person they both loved and cared about.

Ultimecia, using Kuja's mask, made it obvious she realized their unconventional resolve and then twisted to a slow smile.

He rose his arm up and created all kinds of magic irons around him. But this time the edges were just aiming at himself.

Zidane yelped in shock. "What are you…?"

"You're already aware that he isn't longer under Chaos' protection, aren't you? Hence if he dies now, he won't return to this world again." Ultimecia said with the man's voice. The two warriors halted to the new threat against their loved one. "What's the matter? Come here and let me get this last job done, Terra. Or do you want to see your dear Kuja's body filled with holes?"

She gulped. Maybe if she tried deflecting the spikes with one spell… No, Ultimecia would probably undo any effect to protect Kuja's body. She was too smart to fall for something so simple. Any chance Terra contemplated to save her friend was vanished by all possible scenarios that confronted the Time Witch. To try to fool her would mean suicide.

Calmly, Terra treaded to where the hostage was held. She didn't do any kind of move to trigger the trap of blades. Zidane helplessly looked at her, wanting to stop her from accepting the witch's extortion. "Terra…" However, they both knew nothing else could be done to assure Kuja's welfare.

Briefly she stared back at him. She smiled. "It's alright. It's going to be alright."

It'd be foolish to deny the fear she had inside her heart. She knew what was going to happen if she submitted to Ultimecia's orders…

"Yes, just kneel before me. And do not try anything smart. You may be able to survive these spikes, but as defenseless Kuja is… he'd die quite easily." Said she with the voice of the thespian. Terra's mind was numb to the flawless simulation of him, but she just did as she was ordered.

For one moment, they looked into each other's eyes, while his long boney fingers took a hold of her temples "Ultimecia… is Kefka behind all of this?" she mindlessly asked. The tenebrous shade concealed deep inside his pale veil stopped grinning.

"You, better than anyone, should perfectly be aware of it at this rate." The severe voice murmured, as painful magic waves punched their way into Terra's skull.

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><p><strong>AN: If some details about this chapter seem strange and hurried, I apologize. I really can't focus well when I write after finishing homework and stuff… Next shapter will be even more abstract than ever, so I've got you warned, ok?**

**It is still too soon to tell you, but I want you to check out the poll I placed on my profile. Maybe if you pick one character, a nice surprise will eventually show in future chapters, ok? Please vote.**


	22. Light

**Again, I'd like to apologize for the long delay. I'm busier than ever. And I also want to write a FF9 fanfiction. But. UGH. NO. this must be finished first.**

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><p><strong>XXII. Light.<strong>

The dark waters drained as his heavy eyelids opened. He outstretched his hand and entered a place paved with steel and machines. His eyes were fixed to a big window to a white spotless room. A small girl was kept in there, retrained in a bed and with cables inserted through most of her limbs. He felt her eyes on him. She knew she was being stared back too.

Those eyes were filled with fear. They pleaded for help. None of what he should do.

The child was meant to be kept restrained inside that small place, for God knows what would she do if they didn't. The creature was dangerous and unpredictable. It wouldn't be safe until they could properly extirpate this little bird's wings. For years the girl lived captive in her jail, being given a kind amount of attention for her necessities, like a pet just in exchange of her eventual cooperation for the next tests. She was an unique and invaluable specimen after all.

All he could do was to just observe her, eventually making one or another comment about her pitiful existence.

It jumped to the moment he talked to her for the first time. He was eating lunch right then, and she looked so annoying with those big purple eyes, unmoving but her face leaning up with innocent curiosity, as if she was attracted to the apple he was biting.

What was wrong with her? Didn't they feed her just fine?

Maybe she never ate an apple before. Maybe she's never seen an apple before. How did they expect her to grow healthy without apple inside the menu?

_Meh, this apple didn't taste good anyways._ The long skinny hand gave the red bitten fruit to the girl, and her small trembling fingers reached for it. She seemed astounded by the piece of garbage he delivered to her, maybe confusing it with an act of… _kindness_.

She smiled. Smiled for him. How cute. Even monsters knew how to smile.

Next thing, he was found supervising several tests for the child. Every single time after, he escorted her back to the little room she was given. Sometimes, the girl would seize part of his cape, even when she wore a leash to don't run away.

It was simple at first, by just seeing her once every four or three days. He never felt like it was hard to try and play nice. She didn't like him. He didn't like her. But they could bear each other just fine.

Moment after moment, things begun to get worse. His behavior grew erratic and he couldn't help it.

The quickly pass of years eventually begun to deteriorate, deform the feelings and breed new silent despair. The more power he gained, the more he felt that his body was growing numb, to the point of being completely unable to feel the most simplistic kind of joy, like the tasty juice of a bitten apple down his tongue, or the kind spark of wit of one good joke.

She tried to put the pieces back together, all the broken porcelain dolls scattered through the room. Once, she knew his particular fondness of the toys he beautifully adorned with particular dedication. All the stupid dolls had a meaningless existence. No matter how many hours it took him to make them pretty, in less than one second he could easily break them all.

What was their purpose all along?

Yet, it was so satisfactory when he stepped on all the broken pieces. It felt good. Like… this was what they were meant to be all along.

He was a god. He created those dolls, he gave them pretty dresses and pearls. And it was easy to take them all away and crush their fragile porcelain limbs against the floor. _He was God_. Whatever he could create, he could destroy. He was beginning and end of life.

The girl just stared down, unable to understand what he meant with those words of wisdom.

"Do you have to do that?" the tiny voice queried. Little hands were bleeding with cuts of the shards of white porcelain.

"They're just dolls. They have no will of their own. I made them, hence I have the right to destroy them."

He thought he'd go completely mad. He even beat the hell out of the girl. He apologized later, responding to an unusual nature implanted long, before it all begun to go downwards.

Yes, she was special. She wasn't made of porcelain. She was technically raised by his own hands, so how could she deny his rightful will to convert her into a doll.

She was crying again. How many times does he need to yell at her to don't do that? Does he need to stitch her mouth of something? He was readying the needle, but then she shut her little trap obediently.

There, now she was lovely and good. Like a cute little doll.

And what was the best part of all? She wasn't a doll who could break. The hell with overdoing some discipline! She learned to heal herself, so it was perfectly fine!

With every passing day, the creature obtained a frail beauty since he put down any awful signs of ugly duckling showing up on her way to womanhood. Perfect doll was to remain every day. _A doll didn't think, a doll didn't talk, a doll didn't struggle against her master_. It was all good if she could follow those three simple rules.

Crimson was his favorite. It made her skin look ablaze, bathed in the lively color of blood. He could even smell the bittersweet scent of carnage from her ashen locks tied by white ribbons.

He liked to see her face in front of the mirror. He could appreciate the way their colors matched, as if they were manufactured to be paired. He also loved the color of massacre, as he absorbed an obscene osculation from her face to moist his own mouth with the very same bright red.

A small liquid diamond ran down the girl's cheek, but he only sneered coldly, because it probably wasn't worth his preoccupation.

However, a dim flame awoke, setting awareness to march. '_No…_'

His hands stroke the girl's wet cheek. "Now, Terra, you've been very, VERY good…"

'_Terra…_' the alien sentience tore a hole within the illusion. Barely. It hurt. A big claw was trying to suffocate the puny existence of this consciousness.

"… What if daddy gives you a different dress? Yes! Dresses are good."

It wasn't defeated right away. The little consciousness fought against the heavy force. '_… My sweetest Terra._' That small tear shed became a fair trigger, even though it held a vague meaning.

His nails trailed below her chin playfully. "See how pretty can daddy make you when you're not struggling? You're like a doll."

The spirit cringed inside, evidence of his influence over that body wasn't strong enough yet. It merely affected the expressions of his pale face aesthetically delineated with red, changing that face of mischief to deep grief and disgust.

'… _Terra, what have they done…?_'

Still, _the other one_ had absolute control on his voice. "You're MY doll. Aren't you? Isn't my hand the only hand that can break you?"

The girl's eyes, void of life, stared without emotion and hope the reflection of the sad harlequin in the mirror. "… Yes, I'm only your doll. And it's you hand who'll break me."

Abruptly, his long white hands grabbed the child's face and forced her to meet his eyes. "No… Don't say such non-sense! You're nobody's doll." He shrieked, ever word made his pulse shiver. A very weak light awoke within the girl's purple orbs. Her mouth trembled as her words sweetly found their way out, like a baby bird's first chirp.

"… Why? Then… how else can I heal you head?" asked the child.

"You can't. This brain is far too wretched to be saved, no matter what I do! Just escape from me! As far as you can!" he pleaded violently.

Her tiny soft hands caressed warmly his knuckles. "But… I want to stay. I don't want to leave you alone. You don't want to be alone. You don't want to."

She didn't have a will of her own. Whatever she desired, it was the same her master would desire. Nothing of her was real. She was empty, dependent and fragile. There was no loyalty, no love, no fondness, just a most filthy show of mindless subservience, as he could observe.

"Just… what am I to you? What meaning does my existence have to you?"

Her cherry lips formed a shape with one special word. "You shared that fruit with me once."

That rotting fruit was still stuck inside her throat, also inside his, even when for far too long he ignored its existence. It was a red link between their fates.

The flashing images of the Mad God of magic, the connection between the destruction of magic itself and a girl reborn of love and freedom; it all burned deep inside his mind. All of the girl's friends, all the new emotions she learned, all the risks she took for the sake of the true pure love she finally discovered… she was ready to meet the end of her destiny.

She was meant to die with the God she'd destroy. His defeat was imminent, and so was her early grave.

Her destiny was sealed.

"No. No, no!… Fate does not mean anything! Destiny is just an illusion!"

_Destruction is Fate of all things!_

"… I failed to save you, didn't I?" Teary-eyed face asked. The girl looked more like a woman now, rather than prepubescent doll. "From the beginning, it was all useless, right?"

The blonde tall man looked again at the mirror, his façade was splintering in pieces, like a mask of porcelain. His face grew dirtier, gray, it begun to fill with early wrinkles, transforming the once neutral standard face of a man into a monster shaped by lust and insanity. It was now breaking.

Beneath the clown's masquerade, the fair pale androgyny of another man was being revealed. Her kept on digging inside the cracks of the mask, searching for his new image.

Sudden lucidity struck him after remembering how he got here in the first place. He was put under a mind-control spell —again— and the witch was going to make Terra a slave for Kefka's demands. The single thought made repulsion run through his stomach way up his gorge. He didn't wish to go through that experience ever again, and damn sure he'd do whatever it took to keep a Terra away from the same fate.

"Kefka…" he murmured. "An ugly face like yours is not worthy of being saved."

"Who…" Terra observed attentively, shocked by the breaking metamorphosis. The fear was subdued after looking at herself reflected on his dark blue eyes. "… So it WAS you."

He felt his chest getting warm, and her cute face obtaining a very thin smile. Her hand reached out for his face, but her fingertips started to crumble like dust. Sickness replaced that warm feeling, seeing how was the girl falling apart like a sand sculpture.

"My, don't you ever stop ruining our plans, Kuja?" Ultimecia's voice was heard from behind, just simultaneously as Terra disappeared, and the black wings embraced his shoulders and cornered him to the sorceress' mercy. He couldn't react aggressively against her, even if he wanted to. He wasn't in control of this reality.

The venomous claws were driven deep into his neck drawing imaginary blood. But he wasn't losing life with such assault, this was only manipulation of the mind's perception. If he felt that he was in extreme agony, it was only because Ultimecia willed it so. Her face was covered by shadows, but he could tell she didn't seem very happy.

"Since you hate your own existence so much, why don't you let yourself get swallowed by oblivion and let us make our job faster?"

Though he was being strangled by sharp claws, and his own hands seized the witch's wrists, trying to get them off with all of his strength, since he soon found out he couldn't conjure his magic in this place.

But the tighter he realized her hands from choking him, the more muddled his mind went. Her influence was far too powerful to strive back. He was losing, yet the thought of defeat triggered him to don't let her extinguish his consciousness. His mind was nearly vanished a couple of times, but it seemed like he was just delaying the unavoidable. He was going to disappear.

"Why do you keep on fighting? This girl has betrayed your feelings? Do you realize that she only liked you because you reminded her of Kefka's shadow, or more precisely, the inaccurate version she imagined him to be? She only allowed you to remain by her side because she thought she was redeeming herself for failing to cure that madman's lust for destruction." Again, her annoying hurtful words didn't help his fragile state of mind. He didn't want to be reminded of those hardships. "And you… you suspected it all along? A taste for masochism, have we?"

The strangest thing about this reality, was how he could speak so clearly even when his neck was being torn apart. "You're right… I have pushed myself to please her, and I did all I could to make her glad of accomplishing that secret and unreachable desire. I became the Kefka she could never have. I became the Kefka she could heal." His own words disgusted him, but they kept his mind awake. "I'm such an idiot."

"Be glad I'll give you time to regret your stupidity. Then I'll destroy your psyche for good. You won't ever have to worry about anything anymore."

All of sudden, a white storm of power exploded outside of him, pushing the Time Witch away from him, his mind was reinforced by all of his might. "… But I can't let you get your prize, you old hag." He bit back, whatever if it was the fact that he feared to be undone or that he was letting them have their way with Terra, none of that he could permit. "I shouldn't care for what she thinks of me, I treasure my bond with this girl too much, and I won't let you or that harlequin to enslave her!"

Yet, she laughed, unleashing an equally powerful darkness to fight against his mind's volition. "You underestimate me, Kuja. I'm far more powerful than Kefka inside the mind-games. No matter how strong you think you are, I can destroy your will and you shall be left an empty husk…"

He received then a stronger hit, and it cutted right through his entire being fast and mercilessly, making him unable to defend himself. He almost passed out of consciousness. He barely regained himself because he could listen to her revolting laughter. Indeed she wasn't lying about her strength.

'_Terra… Am I to fail you on this one as well?_' Clinging tightly to this last regret, he waited for the final blow to kill his ego for good.

But the darkness started to face to light. This wasn't a maneuver of his. It was as if this force of whiteness was not just protecting him from any more harm, but also opposing to Ultimecia's powers and winning.

He could hear her cry. "What is this? No! _Impossible_—!" She was muted, vanished from his mind. He couldn't feel her anymore.

It was beyond his understanding how did he win, or how did Ultimecia lost. For a moment, he didn't care. The light wasn't a nuisance and it felt so warm and tranquil, like an endless sea of milk. And then, he saw her strayed in the very same whiteness he was immersed into as well.

This attire was quite different from others, but still slightly familiar. She wore a cream white leotard with blue sleeves and cape, and right away he knew he met her in that appearance too, a long time ago.

Those were the clothes of a slave, but her eyes finally shone with the light of awareness. She recognized him right away. Those were the eyes of girl grateful to her liberator. She didn't know his name, didn't even care what were his intentions, but she came to him and wrapped him with her arms, worshipping him like a God of kindness.

Secretly he submerged himself in the reminiscence of her hair's scent. "Terra… I pitied you, because I couldn't bear seeing a reflection of my own past within you. I sat you free out of sympathy, like a little kid opening the cage to a domestic canary, ignorant of what will the bird do in the open world with the burden of its newfound freedom. I didn't even care if you'd survive. I only put you free to feel better with myself."

"… Thank you." The illusion of the girl just held him tighter, not even trying to judge his words. "Thank you so much."

"I never expected to ever find you again. Neither had I wanted you to ever return and see me. I was just satisfied with what I've done, my little act of selflessness. But my own kindness only brought me bitterness, as it became the key to my decay at the end of the past cycle."

The Terra within his arms looked up at him. Now, she was somehow just her, the one of the 12th cycle and partially the one of the actual cycle. He wasn't sure. Maybe this one was all of them in one same place, all of them right here in his arms.

Her eyes were sad, but they were the most lucid eyes he ever seen. She was aware of past and present, and she fully understood all of his words and feelings behind them. This was the physical representation of Terra's mind, a perfect dream self.

Her fingers stroked his cheek, a common show of comfort. "… I won't patronize your pain. What they've done to you was unfair and couldn't be helped. But you fought this far… I'm so glad that I've finally met you. And I'm sorry for what my present self has done to you." Her voice cracked a little with the last sentence. "Don't let me bring you down, not when you've already given me so much."

Her love was unbearable. If Terra kept on fondling him with all of this tenderness, he'd be ready to lose himself inside this endless dreamland. Or worse, he'd succumb to his malignant nature and try to taint her.

Gently, almost reluctant, he pushed her away, to make her understand. "… I should go then. I need to leave your mind alone now, before I feel tempted to contaminate it myself."

The girl smiled and nodded. "Then go. And Kuja:" she began to sink again to the whiteness, leaving joyful tears behind, before he started to get pulled back. "Thanks for choosing me."

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><p>The next thing she realized was that she returned from the nightmarish trance, gasping for all air she could. Her shoulders were shaking violently while she tried to not collapse on herself, being that she was still on her knees. Terra's head was throbbing so painfully, her mind was completely violated, played with, manipulated. Ultimecia almost succeeded, and the most humiliating part of it was that she was completely helpless about it. She did nothing to fight back.<p>

Kefka was inside everything. Then it was the fruit. Then Kefka again. Then…

"… Ku… Kuja…" He watched. _Oh goodness, He watched everything! He knew everything!_

She slowly looked up, knowing he was still sitting in front of her. His eyes were back to normal and seemed sheer enough. It all indicated that he broke through Ultimecia's mind-control.

At that moment, she felt her face going red and her eyes started to give away her sad heat. She couldn't refrain her tears and whimpers.

Her hands seized the collar of his feathered jacket, and she buried her face to his chest. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Kuja! I have deceived you all this time, and I have deceived myself!" her tears stained all his clothes, but nobody cared, she was overwhelmed by her own feelings to even worry about it. "I have used you, Kuja and even when I realized the truth of my actions… I didn't stop pretending. I even tried to control you. I wanted to make decisions for you…"

It was all true. She was now conscious of all the damage she did. He became so frail because of the subtle way she manipulated his emotions, his thoughts, just in order to complete a fantasy that would never be.

She was a fool.

"Could you ever forgive me?" she sobbed, and her shoulders felt cold. She was used to expect his hands touching her shoulders, but she had no right to anticipate it.

Instead, his long fingers slipped to hers, tightly clenched to his lush cloth. "You're not guilty for this treason, Terra. You couldn't help yourself. You didn't harm me..." His hands were so hot.

Terra kept on rubbing her face on his chest, denying his comprehension. "You're lying! I was torturing you! I was so selfish! All the things I forced into you, I must have been tormenting you! I can't bear that!"

Whatever drove his actions, she wasn't sure she'd like to know. All he did was to gently take her face and pull her up, placing his lips on her forehead. Then he whispered. "Hush." His thumbs sweetly tried to clean the moist from her cheeks. "… We're fair. An eye for an eye, my love. I' did hurt you too, didn't I? We're on equal terms now, and that's all what matters."

Why was he still trying to make her comfortable? Was he just that hopeless?

"I'm sorry." She was hopeless too. In emotional terms.

"There, there, stupid girl. I can't bring myself to hate you, no matter what can you do to me."

Before she could throw herself to embrace him, Terra realized that they were being watched. Zidane was just behind them, a couple of yards away while holding the rest of the warriors back.

She almost felt like dying of embarrassment, because the whole scene she spent crying like a lovesick baby, not even caring about her comrades. When she stared back, the young thief was blushing like crazy.

And she needn't to check on Kuja's face to guess how embarrassed he was as well. She slightly separated from the mage and rubbed her eyes to keep the tears from coming.

Zidane finally talked. "Y-you guys gonna be okay? What about you, Kuja?" Bartz and Warrior of Light were behind him, while Tidus and Firion stayed back taking care of a wounded little knight.

"You're finally outside that witch's control, right? I mean… are you back to your non-homicidal but fanciful self?" Bartz queried, a kind of joking question, because he seemed less of worried than others. He knew Kuja was back, and it gave him certainty.

The silver mage stood up with Terra's helping hand, slowly recovering his body's boundaries.

"We liberated an intense mental battle, but I defeated her in the end. And prevented her from taking control of Terra for Kefka's favor." He explained thoughtfully. Terra just noticed a strange fast quirk on his mouth while saying those words. Then again, that was the kind of rude gestures he'd make to anyone not worthy of his attention, therefore it couldn't mean anything important.

They finally joined back to the group, asking and answering questions. She remembered the wound of Onion Knight and swiftly left Kuja's side to attend to the boy. He seemed almost healed, luckily her friends carried some spare potions. "I'm alright, Terra. Thanks for worrying." He said, trying to remove the blood from his stomach. It was hard to ignore the traces of crimson on Kuja's boot, but nobody touched the topic.

Zidane didn't stop making questions to his brother, occasionally checking out for his limbs in case there was something wrong. It was actually quite funny to see him so authentically concerned on Kuja's well-being.

"Whoa, Kuja… isn't that your nose bleeding?"

"Must be the heat from Ultimecia's battle, I should be fine now." Kuja waved the brother away. He used his wrist to wipe the blood away. Yet it kept on bleeding "Are the others out for Ultimecia? They're not actually hoping to find her, right? I can try to communicate to them, so we can catch them up…"

"Would you?"

He was silent for some seconds, deep in thought, but before Terra could guess what he was saying inside his mind, he finished. "… That should do it."

"Well, that was fast!"

Sooner than they could fully recover, they took the path indicated by the silver-haired mage, and Terra walked behind him, still bewildered by the awful experience they just went through. All kinds of thoughts still overwhelmed her, having not just Kefka, but also Ultimecia, intimately aware of all her weaknesses and flaws, it made her feel more vulnerable than ever.

She could only rely on having someone just as strong to protect those secrets.

With him, she had secrets no more.

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><p><strong>AN: Stupid symbology and metaphors. I'm still doing it like a dumb amateur. **

**As for Kefka's characterization, I used the data on the FFVI Creation Guide as reference, that indicates that Kefka has narcissistic traits and acquires a hobby for dolls. And somehow makes sense, because it is implied in both Dissidia and the FFVI games that he sees Terra as nothing but a doll for him to play, which is naturally something incredibly creepy, however you look at it—hence, that's from where the title of the whole fanfiction came from—. However, I took some liberties on the manipulation of the background story, which isn't really supposed to be accurate at all, because Kuja is a guest and the memories that are portrayed through Terra's mind, the mind of a little girl, everything that narrative tells might not even be close to the reality. Keep that on mind while you try to figure it out.**

**And Yes. This chapter was supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. Yes. This chapter is supposed to make you hate Kefka's guts. No matter how awesome you think Kefka is as a villain, it'll never be able to change the fact that he does awful unforgivable things and he's a villain for those reasons. I'm sorry if I remotely change your personal views about this character. **

**Edit: I'm a bit sad. This chapter got just one review :I  
><strong>


	23. Acceptance

**XXIII. Acceptance.**

When did it become so common to find him and just start a nice talk with Kuja? It was so frighteningly normal that Zidane still cringed at the thought, not that this wasn't nice, but still, they both spent so much time together now that it seemed like those days of constant struggle and hatred never existed.

How could he forget? How could he forgive? This would become a very dark and terrible secret once they returned their home. Maybe he'd lose friends if they ever knew that he still helped Kuja, no doubt about it, but he had to assume the consequences of his decisions.

When they lingered on the replica of the Crystal World, the older brother seemed to carry all of their worries within himself, since Zidane didn't wish them to notch his mood. He needed to be energetic and sharp as possible if he wanted to contribute to their victory over Chaos.

Kuja laid his slender body against the glimmer of a great crystal prism, not tiredly, but rather deliberate, as he contemplated his younger counterpart with sober eyes. "What if I tell you that there's a chance that many of us will achieve nothing at the end of the path?"

"What are you talking about? We were both pretty clear about our last whereabouts… Oh, you must be talking about the others, right?"

"We're confident that I make it along you after the Iifa Tree incident, and I may live just a for short while after… but…"

Oh no, he knew that frown, that soft darkened look on his eyes.

"You saw something when Ultimecia forced you inside Terra's mind, didn't you?"

"She's dead."

"What?"

He bit his lower lip as he stared to his feet. "Terra is meant to die, once Kefka does. They're both connected by magic. He's the God of Magic, and she's a creature essentially formed by that element. She can't survive if he disappears."

"… Wouldn't she know?"

"She… I don't know how much of her original memories are back. But I can sense that aching hopelessness growing inside her soul. The harder she fights, the tougher it gets for her to accept it."

It devastated him to know. That girl who fought so hard for so long, would it only lead her to her early death? This wasn't fair. Among all people, Terra was the least deserving of that dreadful fate. It angered him to know that he couldn't do anything to refrain it. He was useless.

You decided to ask. Maybe this was harder for him than it was for Zidane. "And what about you? Have you accepted it?"

Kuja looked at the brother again and rose one eyebrow. "Are you talking about her? Or… are you talking about me?"

His statements probably made things even worse for Zidane.

"I… I guess both." The young man lied. He'd do anything to avoid that topic. "Honestly, I don't know if I can believe in that yet. Terra is the sweetest and strongest girl, and I refuse to believe that she has to go like that. It isn't fair. Kefka is the only bastard who needs to get punished, and she doesn't need to get dragged down because of some jester's homicidal wishes."

"… Yes, you're right." Again, that sad smile.

"Hey! I know what're you thinking about, but you're not Kefka. And I'm not Terra either. I want to be with you because of my own accord. And you're… at least not as insane as that clown. So, don't try to talk me about abandoning my resolve."

"You know that I won't last long once it's all over." The white mage didn't want to appear preoccupied but it was so damned obvious when he was feeling bad. Zidane knelt next to the older sibling and put his hand on the armored knee.

"Who knows. Maybe not. All we know is that _you're not supposed to_… uh… well, my point is that I don't think that you have to die right away."

"Don't you dare saying that you won't allow me to die, Zidane." There was a iniquitous look in his eyes. "If you truly care about me, then don't interfere with my life. If you try to keep me alive against my wishes I will die cursing you, and it'll haunt you until the day of your demise. I swear." His pearl teeth showed as a warning gesture.

The boy needed to take that seriously. It was Kuja, after all.

"Aye."

* * *

><p>"So, Cloud, you basically want to return and see just how many people of your planet survived the whole mess Sephiroth put you through? Sounds like a gloomy sight of the future."<p>

"… It's the best I can expect. Better than having no future at all."

"And what about you, Terra? What's the first thing you'll do when you go back home?"

"I, uh… I'm not really sure. But I'll go to see all my friends, and I'll go to see the smiling faces of the children. They're all waiting for me so we can be a family again."

"You mean, it's like a foster home or something?"

"Not quite. All the children lost their parents, and two of the oldest are waiting for a baby… I'm the only adult they have."

It was a funny fact, because she didn't look much like an adult. But she was mature enough.

"Talking about gloom…"

"You want to share, Tidus?"

"Me? No, not now. But… I guess going back home would be nice. I don't know about my old man…" The always excited young man seemed a little down this time. Momentarily he recovered his wide smile. "But first things first! I'll play Blitzball 'til my body can't take it anymore!"

"Sounds like a plan… What will you do, Squall?"

"… I made a promise to someone."

"Aww, here's our romantic knight!" Bartz teased.

"Cut the crap." The teenage mustered.

"And you, Zidane? What're you gonna do?"

"Get some sleep." The thief grinned. Then looked back at Kuja, standing lonely and quiet from the whole group. "I'm gonna fix some things for this guy and then I'll get back to my princess." When he said the word princess, his friend teased in the same manner he previously did with Squall. "Bartz, can't you get yourself a girlfriend or whatever, so you can stop shaming us for not being singles?"

"Ow, that hurt!"

* * *

><p>She was found seeking for his company, alone again. They entered to a rather strange deserted place, amidst rivers of fire. They were closing to the final battle, and the air was thick, almost toxic and it tired them quite easily on the road.<p>

They had to rest once again, and restore their health for the toughest of fights. They found a large cave below the mountain, and once she was assured that she didn't need to care for another of her comrades, the girl slipped away to find Kuja standing at the entrance of the cave.

The silver haired man was staring at the cascade of bright magma, thoughtful rather than watchful for the approach of new enemies. The hot air blowing for every violent wave of lava, she deemed the heat rather unbearable. She didn't know how could he withstand it without taking care of his hair. His hair would burn, if not ruined.

"Kuja? I know that it's still hard to get along… but it's okay if you go in." Terra placed her hand on his unmoving shoulder.

"… Your resolve was quite touching. No wonder why you're such a motherly shape in this crew of numbskulls."

He wanted to talk, and she didn't have any reason to take that from him. Besides, the sight was quite beautiful if she decided to ignore the extreme heat. Hopefully they wouldn't get any closer to the magma.

"You know? I never thought that I was maternal at all." She answered. "I simply responded to the idea of protecting people from danger. But that's what mothers mostly do."

"Only good mothers." He completed, staring back at the girl. His eyes were reflecting the orange light of the wild. "I've seen parents turning their backs to their children with the faintest flame of avarice and cowardice. You're just one of the few good souls that miraculously can escape from the circle of grief. You even do it for children who aren't your own."

"… I thought it was just natural. I… remember, no, I mean, I want to believe that I remember a loving mother who once took care of me." Without realizing it you smiled at the thought. "I know it's hard for you to understand, but, at least once, wouldn't you have liked to be under the wing of a loving parent?"

"I wasn't born helpless. By instinct I reject the idea of childish dependence. Besides, may I repeat, I was born an adult."

"I see..." Terra felt silly for forgetting that. "… I'm sorry if I ask you something weird, but were you never curious about it? Didn't you ever wanted to be a real child?"

"As I said, I naturally reject the idea of childish dependence. If the thought of having spawn from my own blood makes me cringe, why would I even wish to become one of those tiny creatures? It's… disgusting."

"I thought that you could realize, but even now you're still clueless." The look on his eyes hardened. "No matter how much of an adult you think you are: You behave like a spoiled little kid."

"… What?" He seemed very upset, and somehow she perfectly saw it coming. "Don't you dare referring to me like that again!"

"But you're growing up." She giggled, taking a taunting approach. He didn't have any intention of harming her for those words. "It makes me glad. You're becoming an adult. A child has a hard time comprehending complex feelings, and with growth and development, the child begins to understand, little by little."

He still frowned to the girl. "… Interesting metaphor. But not much alluring."

"Nice thing you've been growing up rather fast."

"I still see no sense in your little words." He grunted. "If you're trying to tell me something, I haven't caught the thread."

"I mean, you're very immature for your age."

"If I didn't know you already, I'd say you're trying to pick up a fight with me by saying such bull."

"Well, that's precisely part of the attitude of which I was talking about." She continued, walking past him. Maybe she was actually trying to enter into an argument. "It's a bit funny how you're in denial for these parts of yourself. And… I should stop calling you a kid before I get you angrier."

"What else did you expect?" Kuja muttered, growing impatient. "The more you try to decipher me, the more you change me. It has to stop."

His thin hand was over her shoulder, it felt strangely heavier than usual.

"Maybe. But if you think ignorance is a bliss—"

"You have no idea what kind of joy does ignorance breeds." He interrupted, almost forcing her to shut up. "It keeps you safe from all hurt. And sometimes knowledge itself can lead to your own despair."

"You're starting to talk about destruction again, Kuja." His hand truly felt heavy, so she took it and imprisoned it within her fingers. She could barely stare into his blue iris because of the burning shine they reflected. "Look, we all know what's awaiting us up that mountain, but we're not going there willing to give our lives. We don't want to die, so we force ourselves to win that battle."

"I wasn't talking about the war. Assuming that you win against Chaos… we don't when did time froze our bodies, or in which place we'll be. We don't know if we won against our enemies. We don't know if we're safe. We don't know if we're even alive. Have you ever thought about it?"

His whispers triggered a hidden uncertainty in Terra, something that she buried too well, too long ago. It was a wicked little devil crawling up again to her heart.

"… Is that what is been worrying you all this time?" She dropped her gaze down and took a deep breath, without savoring the toxic air of the volcano. "I can't blame you for being so sick worried about it though. I can't help it but to also think about it. Maybe some of us are going to die when we get back to our real worlds… but the only thing we can hope to do is to, at least, survive until the war is over."

"What if _you_ were to die?"

Her heart stopped. What was she trying to hide so badly? She smiled, even when it looked hurt. And the hold of his fingers on hers was tightening.

"I don't wish to sound too overconfident, but I don't think that I'm going to die. I just have too many things worth living. I said that I wasn't going to let myself die, so, no matter what happens, I'll keep that on mind."

Without saying else, she sat on the ground placing her knees against her chest, right next to his legs while he stood still. However, their hands were still entwined. She felt so ill in the stomach and her head was staring to throb like a racing heart.

Then he let out one monotone murmur. "If only it was that easy, my sweet girl."

And she cried: "… Don't pretend that I don't know, Kuja. I'm not so clueless. I know what will happen once everything is over. Don't tease me with your empathy…"

"Terra…"

"I know. I know I can die…" Her knees were getting wet below her face. "But there's so much to lose if I die. I can't give up… Even if I disappear… I just want to make it in time to see everyone at least one last time." Her hand gripping on his so tightly it could cut his blood. "It scares me to die… Just look at me. I can't stop shaking. _I'm hopeless_. I can't stop thinking about death. What will happen to my body? What will happen to my soul? I can't answer these questions. I'm not even ready to know these answers… I'm just too scared, Kuja."

She finally did it. After all this time, she acknowledged what was coming for her, the final hour.

The slim arm surrounded her shoulder while the other hand was still there for her to hold. She didn't know she was crying so bitterly and loud until she heard him shush in her ear. Even if they were in front of an active raging volcano, the only warmth she truly felt was that what his embrace gave to her.

He was being so incredibly kind to her right now, and she was just hopelessly crying on her knees and also cleaned herself on one of his sleeves—so much more than he could take—.

"Are you prepared to face it?" He purred, the soft waving of his lips caressed her ear.

"… I'd like to say yes, but I'd just be stupid and dishonest." She wiped the tears with her own hand. "I don't want to die, Kuja. I don't want to lose everything. But the only thing I can do is to accept it, because I wanted to save the world so badly, I wanted to save my friends so badly… I thought that I could deal with death, but I was frightened all along. I have no escape."

"No matter how brave is the hero, for death is the eternal unknown of the universe. And nothing scares us as much as the unknown."

"Have you ever feared death?"

"… I don't know anymore."

It was his response what made her grasp silence for a while. He invited her to think calmly. And he was doing right, otherwise, Terra wouldn't know how to take it, her own announced death. Maybe she'd go on a rampage, maybe she'd try to stop it whatever the cost was, but the true thing was that death was definite. It mattered not if she was heroic or vile, or if she was loved or hated; death would come under neutral judgment.

Those were the harshest thoughts that crossed her mind. But was her life worth living? Yes, it was. And it was good even with the tiny moments of happiness and love; they were enough. She wouldn't die without knowing those important emotions, and it was good enough.

"I recalled memories of my past. Just a little before I came to this war. Now I remember. We defeated Kefka… Maybe… I did manage to help building a better world for the children." She said, resting her left cheek on her knee. "I'm glad. My death won't be in vain."

Then he pulled away from her. She let go of his hand, and she was feeling well enough to stand up again on her own.

His voice recovered the monotone sound. "Just in a few hours we'll be facing Chaos. The thrill is sending chills through my spine."

"Me too." Terra nodded, staring at the gigantic waves of fire. "Kuja, what would happen if anyone of us… was struck down by Chaos?"

"Possibly we shall rest in the Void. But even if just one of us remained and yet managed to kill Chaos, I believe it would break the curse and set everyone else free to go home."

He gave hope. But it still sounded like a great trial.

"… You said they were thirteen cycles, right? Is it possible that there are other warriors resting in the Void?"

"Yes. Only if they were struck down by unnatural conditions, or course. That was the purpose of the manikins. They were made to hold Cosmos' warriors to the Void permanently, or at least until the war was terminated. They would not be revived for the next cycle."

"But… if we didn't win in this cycle, what would happen to us?"

"I don't know for sure. Cosmos is dead. I am basically expelled from Chaos' side. It is unlikely that there'll be another cycle of war… at least as we know it. That's why the Goddess thought this was your last chance to finish it. If we were killed now, we'd probably be trapped inside the Void forever…"

So, it was all or nothing now. No back-up plans, no second chance, nothing at all. One way you'd face death, other way, you'd simply cease to live. Why were they forced to risk everything in one battle? It was all unfair for everyone.

However, before walking back to her friends, he took her hand and pulled her against him again. She couldn't deny she felt surprised, even a little worried for the amount of strength he used, so she fought back. He placed one hand behind her neck and stared at her with pitiful eyes.

"I was going to give you a farewell kiss. Is there a problem?"

"… Last time, you asked permission to kiss me. Keep it that way, please." She pushed him away.

Something within her broke. She didn't want it like that. It wouldn't be the first time he played with her, but this time it truly hurt. He needed to learn more yet. To be sad and hopeless didn't mean she wanted this kind of comfort.

"Forgive me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the sudden hiatus, I kinda started working on a different spanish fanfic and I got excited about it. **

**Hopefully I will update this fanfic early next January. Wish me luck.**


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